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Martha Wells quotes Showing 1-30 of 135

“I could have become a mass murderer after I hacked my governor module, but then I realized I could access the combined feed of entertainment channels carried on the company satellites. It had been well over 35,000 hours or so since then, with still not much murdering, but probably, I don't know, a little under 35,00 hours of movies, serials, books, plays, and music consumed. As a heartless killing machine, I was a terrible failure.”
Martha Wells, All Systems Red
“Sarcasm is the last refuge of the imaginatively bankrupt.”
Martha Wells, City of Bones
“Yes, talk to Murderbot about its feelings. The idea was so painful I dropped to 97 percent efficiency. I’d rather climb back into Hostile One’s mouth.”
Martha Wells, All Systems Red
“They were all so nice and it was just excruciating. I was never taking off the helmet again. I can't do even the half-assed version of this stupid job if I have to talk to humans.”
Martha Wells, All Systems Red
“It's not going to make a very good story, in the annals of my time as sister queen.” She quoted dryly, “‘Then her consort jumped up and knocked the foreign queen unconscious with a kettle.”
Martha Wells, The Serpent Sea
“I liked the imaginary people on the entertainment feed way more than I liked real ones, but you can’t have one without the other.”
Martha Wells, All Systems Red
“And in their corner all they had was Murderbot, who just wanted everyone to shut up and leave it alone so it could watch the entertainment feed all day.”
Martha Wells, All Systems Red
“Who knew being a heartless killing machine would present so many moral dilemmas. (Yes, that was sarcasm.)”
Martha Wells, Rogue Protocol
“(There needs to be an error code that means “I received your request but decided to ignore you.”)”
Martha Wells, Rogue Protocol
“I didn’t care what humans were doing to each other as long as I didn’t have to a) stop it or b) clean up after it.”
Martha Wells, Artificial Condition
“I said, "Sometimes people do things to you that you can't do anything about. You just have to survive it and go on.”
Martha Wells, Artificial Condition
“I was having an emotion, and I hate that.”
Martha Wells, Exit Strategy
“Flower lifted a brow, dubious. 'You have to pay for a place to be dead in?'
Moon shrugged. 'Sometimes, in cities. It’s a groundling thing.”
Martha Wells, The Serpent Sea
“You may have noticed that when I do manage to care, I’m a pessimist.”
Martha Wells, All Systems Red
“They were all annoying and deeply inadequate humans, but I didn’t want to kill them. Okay, maybe a little.”
Martha Wells, Rogue Protocol
“ART said, What does it want?

To kill all the humans, I answered.

I could feel ART metaphorically clutch its function. If there were no humans, there would be no crew to protect and no reason to do research and fill its databases. It said, That is irrational.

I know, I said, if the humans were dead, who would make the media? It was so outrageous, it sounded like something a human would say.”
Martha Wells, Artificial Condition
tags: humor
“Gurathin turned to me. "So you don't have a governor module, but we could punish you by looking at you."

I looked at him. "Probably, right up until I remember I have guns built into my arms.”
Martha Wells, All Systems Red
“I would defer to your expertise in shooting and killing things. You should defer to mine in data analysis.”
Martha Wells, Artificial Condition
“you can’t put something as dumb as a hauler bot in charge of security for anything without spending even more money for expensive company-employed human supervisors. So they made us smarter. The anxiety and depression were side effects.”
Martha Wells, Artificial Condition
“(Possibly I was overthinking this. I do that; it’s the anxiety that comes with being a part-organic murderbot. The upside was paranoid attention to detail. The downside was also paranoid attention to detail.)”
Martha Wells, Exit Strategy
“It would have been hilarious if I wasn’t about to die. It was still a little hilarious.”
Martha Wells, Exit Strategy
“So the plan wasn't a clusterfuck, it was just circling the clusterfuck target zone, getting ready to come in for a landing.”
Martha Wells, Exit Strategy
“Why yes, I did want to disengage the safety protocols, thanks for asking.”
Martha Wells, Rogue Protocol
“I hate caring about stuff. But apparently once you start, you can't just stop.”
Martha Wells, Rogue Protocol
“Or Miki was a bot who had never been abused or lied to or treated with anything but indulgent kindness. It really thought its humans were its friends, because that’s how they treated it. I signaled Miki I would be withdrawing for one minute. I needed to have an emotion in private.”
Martha Wells, Rogue Protocol
“It was very dramatic, like something out of a historical adventure serial. Also correct in every aspect except for all the facts, like something out of a historical adventure serial.”
Martha Wells, Exit Strategy
“I looked down. I was dripping onto the floor, a mix of blood and fluid. I hate it when I leak.”
Martha Wells, Rogue Protocol
“I remember every word ever said to me." That was a lie. Who would want that? Most of it I delete from permanent memory.”
Martha Wells, All Systems Red
“Moon couldn’t think of anything reassuring to say. They were trapped inside a leviathan, standing in a tunnel gnawed out by giant parasites. Going blank with terror was a perfectly rational way to react, especially for a groundling.”
Martha Wells, The Serpent Sea
“Disinformation, which is the same as lying but for some reason has a different name, is the top tactic in corporate negotiation/warfare.”
Martha Wells, Exit Strategy

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All Systems Red (The Murderbot Diaries, #1) All Systems Red
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