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Ryan North quotes Showing 1-30 of 33

“Sucking at something is the first step towards being sorta good at something.”
Ryan North
“To answer your question as honestly as I can, I've wanted since I was very little to not have to worry about money. I've never been poverty-level poor (I mean, there's been years where I've been officially beneath the poverty line, but that wasn't poverty: that was being a student and living the Student Lifestyle), but I've been in a place where you know you can't afford a better-quality food, where you can't do certain things because of money, and I'd prefer not to have those problems if I can. I sort of have troubles with money in general, with how it determines so much of our lives but with how we all try to ignore it, but I would like to be (and stay) in a place where I can pick up some new comics and games and not worry about how much they cost.

This is terrible; you're asking me where I want to be in the future, what I want my life to be like, and the only thing I can tell you is "Man, all I know is I don't want to be POOR.”
Ryan North
“But giving up's easy. You know what's hard? To believe in your own worth, to know you've got something special in you even if nobody else can see it. Even when you can't.”
Ryan North, Adventure Time Vol. 4
“Scientists need to invent a way to make DNA work like in cartoons.”
Ryan North
“Progress! Progress through everybody dying and their kids eventually not caring who their parents hated!”
Ryan North
“As they say, 'It's all downhill from cupcakes.”
Ryan North
“Maybe the best things are those that take the most work, you know? Maybe how you get somewhere can be at least as important as where you're going.”
Ryan North, Adventure Time Vol. 3
“Algebraic to the limit!”
Ryan North, Adventure Time with Finn & Jake
“Dude, trouble's just an adventure you haven't finished yet!" - Jake the Dog”
Ryan North, Adventure Time Vol. 5
“Obeying an unjust law is itself unjust.”
Ryan North
“Europeans—who generally like to think of themselves as being a pretty savvy lot—managed to forget and then rediscover this fact about vitamin C at least seven more times over the next five hundred years, including rediscoveries in 1593 CE, 1614 CE, 1707 CE, 1734 CE, 1747 CE, and 1794 CE, until the idea finally stuck in 1907.”
Ryan North, How to Invent Everything: A Survival Guide for the Stranded Time Traveler
“It's hard to get motivated fixing a compile-time syntax error when you can buy a powder that turns a house into a monster.”
Ryan North
“You might think that people in the business of selling books would be against places where you can read books for free, but here is a secret: libraries are awesome, librarians are even *more* awesome, and both are among the greatest things civilization has given us. *No apologies; it's true.*”
Ryan North, The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl, Vol. 5: Like I'm the Only Squirrel in the World
“Chicks, man, am I right? They crazy," you say.
"Yes, what IS the deal with over half the human population of the planet? They're definitely all 100% insane," Horatio replies sarcastically.”
Ryan North, To Be or Not To Be: A Chooseable-Path Adventure
“London’s dramatic and hugely expensive sewer system—still in use today—was constructed for entirely the wrong reasons and only happened to improve public health by accident.”
Ryan North, How to Invent Everything: A Survival Guide for the Stranded Time Traveler
“Wait... maybe the question isn't "How do I beat him?" Maybe the question is "Dude, why are we even fighting in the first place?”
Ryan North, The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl, Vol. 1: Squirrel Power
“Might as well ask the once-popular Magic 8-Ball something. It got “Outlook not so good” right. I don’t know if anyone ever asked it about Internet Explorer. ”
Ryan North, Machine of Death: A Collection of Stories About People Who Know How They Will Die
“This was a really amazing part of your adventure, Hamlet. You’re sure that, should you ever one day write a book about this story or perhaps a stage production, you’d DEFINITELY include this scene. Why, you’d have to be literally crazy to write a story where you journey to England, get attacked by pirates — actual pirates! — but then just sum up that whole adventure in a single sentence. Hah! That’d be the worst. Who puts a pirate-attack scene in their story and doesn’t show it to the audience? Hopefully nobody, that’s who! Even from a purely structural viewpoint, you’ve got to give the audience something awesome to make up for all the introspection you’ve been doing; that just seems pretty obvious is all.”
Ryan North, To Be or Not to Be
“Among the worst is the Australian stinging bush, also known as the “suicide plant” after stories of both humans and animals killing themselves to escape the pain it produces. When you touch this plant, the neurotoxin-coated hollow hairs covering it pierce your skin, causing an unbearable pain described as similar to being burnt with acid and electrocuted at the same time, and the only treatment is to soak the affected area of your body in hydrochloric acid and then remove the plant hairs with tweezers—carefully, because if they break off inside the skin, that only increases the pain.”
Ryan North, How to Invent Everything: A Survival Guide for the Stranded Time Traveler
“The machine captured that old sense of irony in death: you can know how it's going to happen, but you'll still be surprised when it does.”
Ryan North, Machine of Death: A Collection of Stories About People Who Know How They Will Die
“Failure is just success rounded down, my friend!”
Ryan North, Dinosaur Comics, fig. e: Everybody knows failure is just success rounded down.
“you know: CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF HUGS IS THE ENTIRE REASON I EVER ENGAGE IN ANY NARRATIVE, FICTIONAL OR OTHERWISE??”
Ryan North, B^F: The Novelization Of The Feature Film
“In fact, Saint Maxwell’s received, and often accepted, applications from preschoolers slated to die criminal deaths. It was just a question of, well, the quality of the crime. You let in the cocaine overdoses; you kept out the crack overdoses.”
Ryan North, Machine of Death: A Collection of Stories About People Who Know How They Will Die
“MY METAL ARMS ARE IMMUNE TO THE FATIGUES THAT PLAGUE MORTAL LIMBS; THOUGH I CONFESS THAT AGAINST THE ENNUI THAT PLAGUES MORTAL MINDS I FIND NO SUCH IMMUNITY" --Brain Drain”
Ryan North, The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl, Vol. 5: Like I'm the Only Squirrel in the World
“You can’t just say what’s going to happen ahead of time. That’s not how physical law works. That’s narrative. And when reality is twisted to fit narrative, that’s not natural. That’s someone making stories happen.”
Ryan North, Machine of Death: A Collection of Stories About People Who Know How They Will Die
“When modern humans first invented computer ray tracing, they generated thousands if not millions of images of reflective chrome spheres hovering above checkerboard tiles, just to show off how gorgeously ray tracing rendered those reflections. When they invented lens flares in Photoshop, we all had to endure years of lens flares being added to everything, because the artists involved were super excited about a new tool they’d just figured out how to use. The invention of perspective was no different, and since it coincided with the Renaissance going on in Europe at the same time, some of the greatest art in the European canon is dripping with the 1400s CE equivalent of lens flares and hovering chrome spheres.”
Ryan North, How to Invent Everything: A Survival Guide for the Stranded Time Traveler
“Hey, McFly!" Has Biff returned??  No!  It turns out that Howard, George's neighbour, is there!  And he wants to sell him Girl Scout cookies!”
Ryan North, B^F: The Novelization Of The Feature Film
“It's sad, and you're sad, but as you reflect on the three wonderful years you shared you begin to realize that relationships can be a success even if they end in a breakup. They have to, right? Otherwise every relationship you've ever had and ever will have will be a failure unless one or both of you DIES, and that's baloney. That's straight up baloney sandwiches.”
Ryan North, Romeo and/or Juliet: A Chooseable-Path Adventure
“Wait... maybe the question isn't "How do I beat him?" Maybe the question in "Dude, why are we even fighting in the first place?”
Ryan North, The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl, Vol. 1: Squirrel Power
“The movie has Marty say "blues riff in B" and then WHAM, the entire band is playing Johnny B. Goode like they've done so for years.  It's amazing, and as a kid, I spent a lot of time trying to figure this out.  How was it possible that everyone knew what notes to play and when to come in??  The backup guitar and drums both hit a beat at the beginning of the song without any communication whatsoever.”
Ryan North, B^F: The Novelization Of The Feature Film

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