Douglas Adams > Quotes

“Paradoxes are just the scar tissue of the universe. Time and space heal themselves around up them and people simply remember a version of events which makes as much sense as they require it to make.”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“There is no problem involved in becoming your own father or mother that a broad-minded and well-adjusted family can’t cope with. There is no problem about changing the course of history—the course of history does not change because it all fits together like a jigsaw. All the important changes have happened before the things they were supposed to change and it all sorts itself out in the end. The major problem is quite simply one of grammar, and the main work to consult in this matter is Dr. Dan Streetmentioner’s Time Traveler’s Handbook of 1001 Tense Formations. It will tell you, for instance, how to describe something that was about to happen to you in the past before you avoided it by time-jumping forward two days in order to avoid it.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“These had really struck terror into the hearts of everyone who had encountered them – in most cases, however, the terror was extremely short-lived, as was the person experiencing the terror.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Complete Trilogy in Five Parts

“Share & enjoy life, the universe & everything”
― Douglas Adams

“the editors, having to meet a publishing deadline, copied the information off the back of a packet of breakfast cereal, hastily embroidering it with a few footnotes in order to avoid prosecution under the incomprehensibly tortuous Galactic Copyright laws. It is interesting to note that a later and wilier editor sent the book backward in time through a temporal warp, and then successfully sued the breakfast cereal company for infringement of the same laws.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“–¿Esa nave? –dijo Ford, súbitamente alborotado–. ¿Qué le ha pasado? ¿Lo sabes? –Me odiaba porque le hablé. –¡Que le hablaste! –exclamó Ford–. ¿Qué quieres decir con eso de que le hablaste? –Algo muy simple. Me aburría mucho y me sentía muy deprimido, así que me acerqué y me conecté a la toma externa del ordenador. Hablé un buen rato con él y le expliqué mi opinión sobre el Universo –dijo Marvin. –¿Y qué pasó? –insistió Ford. –Se suicidó –dijo Marvin, echando a anclar con aire majestuoso hacia el Corazón de Oro.”
― Douglas Adams, Los autoestopistas galácticos: Guía del autoestopista galáctico, El restaurante del fin del mundo, La vida, el universo y todo lo demás

“Ripristineremo la normalità appena saremo sicuri di cosa sia in ogni caso il normale.”
― Douglas Adams, Guida galattica per gli autostoppisti

“There is an art, it says, or rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. Pick a nice day, it suggests, and try it. The first part is easy. All it requires is simply the ability to throw yourself forward with all your weight, and the willingness not to mind that it’s going to hurt. That is, it’s going to hurt if you fail to miss the ground. Most people fail to miss the ground, and if they are really trying properly, the likelihood is that they will fail to miss it fairly hard. Clearly, it is this second part, the missing, which presents the difficulties. One problem is that you have to miss the ground accidentally. It’s no good deliberately intending to miss the ground because you won’t. You have to have your attention suddenly distracted by something else when you’re halfway there, so that you are no longer thinking about falling, or about the ground, or about how much it’s going to hurt if you fail to miss it. It is notoriously difficult to prise your attention away from these three things during the split second you have at your disposal. Hence most people’s failure, and their eventual disillusionment with this exhilarating and spectacular sport.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Omnibus: A Trilogy of Five

“The mail on the doormat consisted of the usual things: a rude letter threatening to take away his American Express card, an invitation to apply for an American Express card, and a few bills of the more hysterical and unrealistic type.”
― Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

“Incredible!’ breathed Arthur. ‘The people . . . ! The things . . . !’ ‘The things,’ said Ford Prefect quietly, ‘are also people.’ ‘The people . . .’ resumed Arthur, ‘the . . . other people . . .”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“Zaman bir yanılsamadır.”
― Douglas Adams, Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Book 1 of 3

“Zeka ve geleceği görme yeteneğiyle donatılmış birçok asansörün düşünmeyi gerektirmeyen ve yalnızca yukarı çıkıp aşağı inmekten ibaret bu iş yüzünden müthiş bir bunalıma girmesi de gayet normaldi, sonuçta varoluşçu bir tepki olarak, kısa bir süre için yanlamasına gitmeyi denediler, karar verme sürecinde rol almayı talep ettiler ve son olarak da suratlarını asıp bodrum katında oturma grevine başladılar.
Bugünlerde Sirius yıldız sistemindeki gezegenlerin herhangi birini ziyaret eden ve parasız her otostopçu bu nevrotik asansörlere danışmanlık görevi yaparak kolayca para kazanabilir.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Hexagonal Phase

“One of the major problems encountered in time travel is not that of accidentally becoming your own father or mother. There is no problem involved in becoming your own father or mother that a broad-minded and well-adjusted family can’t cope with. There is also no problem about changing the course of history – the course of history does not change because it all fits together like a jigsaw. All the important changes have happened before the things they were supposed to change and it all sorts itself out in the end. The major problem is quite simply one of grammar,”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: A Trilogy of Five

“Trillian had come to suspect that the main reason why he had had such a wild and successful life was that he never really understood the significance of anything he did.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“He looked around for the others. They weren’t there. He looked around for the others again. They still weren’t there. He closed his eyes. He opened them. He looked around for the others. They obstinately persisted in their absence.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Complete Trilogy in Five Parts

“The major problem - one of the major problems, for there are several - on of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them.
To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary; anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem.
And so this is the situation we find: a succession of Galactic Presidents who so much enjoy the fun and palaver of being in power that they very rarely notice that they're not.
And somewhere in the shadows behind them - who?
Who can possibly rule if no one who wants to do it can be allowed to?”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“their fundamental design flaws are completely hidden by their superficial design flaws.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“mechanically inept”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“…and news reports brought to you here on the sub-etha waveband, broadcasting around the Galaxy around the clock,’ squawked a voice, ‘and we’ll be saying a big hello to all intelligent life forms everywhere…and to everyone else out there, the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“There was a distinct absence of anything female in the room--the same sort of absence that a missing picture leaves behind it on a wall.”
― Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

“OK, so the guy is cool, but... I mean own up, this is barking time, this is major lunch, this is stool approaching critical mass, this is... this is... total vocabulary failure!”
― Douglas Adams, Young Zaphod Plays It Safe

“Zaphod Beeblebrox, adventurer, ex-hippie, good-timer, (crook? quite possibly), manic self-publicist, terribly bad at personal relationships, often thought to be completely out to lunch. President?”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Outside the door were the clear sounds of marching footsteps.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“He let the curtain drop and the terrible light that had played on his features went off to play somewhere more healthy.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“Bir otomobil, son derece çekici, ince çizgilere sahip ve üstü açık, mavi bir otomobil, Beverly Hills'in batısından geniş bir yay çizerek, anladığım kadarıyla Sunset Bulvarının zarif virajları boyunca ilerleyerek geliyordu. Böyle bir otomobili kim görse ona sahip olmayı isterdi. Tabii ki. O, sizin onu istemenizi sağlamak üzere tasarlanmıştı. Eğer insanların onu o kadar da istemedikleri ortaya çıkacak olsa yapımcıları onu istenir hale gelene kadar, yeni baştan tekrar tekrar tasarlardı. Dünya şimdi böyle şeylerle dolu, tabii bu da insanların neden sürekli bir isteme hali içinde olduklarını açıklar.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

“but when launched, it did not even manage to complete its very first radio message—an SOS—before undergoing a sudden and gratuitous total existence failure.”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything

“The history of "The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy" is one of idealism, struggle, despair, passion, success, failure, and enormously long lunch-breaks.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“God's Final Message to His Creation: 'We apologize for the inconvenience.”
― Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

“Sunlight played along the River Cam. People in punts happily shouted at each other to fuck off.”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“We’re in a small galley cabin,’ said Ford, ‘in one of the spaceships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy