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Julien Smith quotes (showing 1-30 of 42)

“You can't make yourself feel positive, but you can choose how to act, and if you choose right, it builds your confidence.”
Julien Smith, The Flinch
“You will never be entirely comfortable. This is the truth behind the champion - he is always fighting something. To do otherwise is to settle.”
Julien Smith, The Flinch
“You don’t know anyone at the party, so you don’t want to go. You don’t like cottage cheese, so you haven’t eaten it in years. This is your choice, of course, but don’t kid yourself: it’s also the flinch. Your personality is not set in stone. You may think a morning coffee is the most enjoyable thing in the world, but it’s really just a habit. Thirty days without it, and you would be fine. You think you have a soul mate, but in fact you could have had any number of spouses. You would have evolved differently, but been just as happy.
You can change what you want about yourself at any time. You see yourself as someone who can’t write or play an instrument, who gives in to temptation or makes bad decisions, but that’s really not you. It’s not ingrained. It’s not your personality. Your personality is something else, something deeper than just preferences, and these details on the surface, you can change anytime you like.

If it is useful to do so, you must abandon your identity and start again. Sometimes, it’s the only way.

Set fire to your old self. It’s not needed here. It’s too busy shopping, gossiping about others, and watching days go by and asking why you haven’t gotten as far as you’d like. This old self will die and be forgotten by all but family, and replaced by someone who makes a difference.

Your new self is not like that. Your new self is the Great Chicago Fire—overwhelming, overpowering, and destroying everything that isn’t necessary.”
Julien Smith, The Flinch
“You can change the world again, instead of protecting yourself from it.”
Julien Smith, The Flinch
“Everything you are used to, once done long enough, starts to seem natural, even though it might not be.”
Julien Smith, The Flinch
“What you're missing is that the path itself changes you.”
Julien Smith, The Flinch
“No one has a problem with the first mile of a journey. Even an infant could do fine for a while. But it isn't the start that matters. It's the finish line.”
Julien Smith, The Flinch
“The truth is that judgment and fear will never stop, but they don't actually do anything.”
Julien Smith, The Flinch
“Behind every flinch is a fear or an anxiety - sometimes rational, sometimes not. Without the fear, there is no flinch. But wiping out the fear isn't what's important - facing it is.”
Julien Smith, The Flinch
“So if you see no one like you, no one who agrees, don't worry. There are actually hundreds of people like you, and they're waiting for a leader. That person is you.”
Julien Smith, The Flinch
“Success works as a cycle - growth and contraction, balancing and unbalancing - all while you're encountering hurdles that get higher and higher over time.”
Julien Smith, The Flinch
“Getting lost is not fatal. Almost every time, it will make your world.”
Julien Smith
“The ability to withstand the flinch comes with the knowledge that the future will be better than the past.”
Julien Smith, The Flinch
“You don’t know anyone at the party, so you don’t want to go. You don’t like cottage cheese, so you haven’t eaten it in years. This is your choice, of course, but don’t kid yourself: it’s also the flinch.

Your personality is not set in stone. You may think a morning coffee is the most enjoyable thing in the world, but it’s really just a habit. Thirty days without it, and you would be fine. You think you have a soul mate, but in fact you could have had any number of spouses. You would have evolved differently, but been just as happy.

You can change what you want about yourself at any time. You see yourself as someone who can’t write or play an instrument, who gives in to temptation or makes bad decisions, but that’s really not you. It’s not ingrained. It’s not your personality. You personality is something else, something deeper than just preferences, and these details on the surface, you can change anytime you like.

If it is useful to do so, you must abandon your identity and start again. Sometimes, it’s the only way.

Set fire to your old self. It’s not needed here. It’s too busy shopping, gossiping about others, and watching days go by and asking why you haven’t gotten as far as you’d like. This old self will die and be forgotten by all but family, and replaced by someone who makes a difference.

Your new self is not like that. Your new self is the Great Chicago Fire—overwhelming, overpowering, and destroying everything that isn’t necessary.”
Julien Smith, The Flinch
“Krishnamurti, a great Indian sage, once said: “You can take a piece of wood that you brought back from your garden, and each day present it with a flower. At the end of a month you will adore it, and the idea of not giving it an offering will be a sin.” In other words, everything that you are used to, once done long enough, starts to seem natural, even though it might not be.”
Julien Smith, The Flinch
“You can't settle for reaching other people's limits. You have to reach yours.”
Julien Smith, The Flinch
“Do not go where the path may lead; go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”
Julien Smith, The Flinch
“The flinch is your real opponent, and information won’t help you fight it. It’s behind every unhappy marriage, every hidden vice, and every unfulfilled life. Behind the flinch is pain avoidance, and dealing with pain demands strength you may not think you have.”
Julien Smith, The Flinch
tags: flinch
“But there’s a problem: as you learn, you’re also falling down and getting scars. The pain repels you. You flinch so much that you start fearing and predicting pain. You combine it with the lessons you learned from other people. Finally, you start to protect yourself from things that haven’t even happened. At the end of this path, you go on the defensive. You give up on hurdles. Your world starts getting smaller, instead of bigger. You don’t adapt to what comes at you. You stop following your curiosity and you start being safe. From the inside, this feels like getting wise, but it isn’t. Avoiding the flinch withers you, like an old tree that breaks instead of bending in a storm. Unfortunately, this is where most adults end up. But there’s an antidote. You can make your world get bigger again. The instinct you have is the seed—you just have to cultivate it. The anxiety of the flinch is almost always worse than the pain itself. You’ve forgotten that. You need to learn it again. You need more scars. You need to live.”
Julien Smith, The Flinch
“The first step is to stop seeing everything as a threat. You can’t will this to happen—it requires wider exposure. If you’ve been punched in the face, you won’t worry as much about a mugger, for example. If you face the flinch in meditation, you don’t worry about a long line at the bank. Build your base of confidence by having a vaster set of experiences to call upon, and you’ll realize you can handle more than you used to. Doing the uncomfortable is key. It widens your circle of comfort. Second, rework the pattern of threat response. Learn habits that move you out of a fight-or-flight choice and into another pattern that’s more effective.”
Julien Smith, The Flinch
“Behind the flinch is pain avoidance, and dealing with pain demands strength you may not think you have.”
Julien Smith, The Flinch
“be careful what lessons you avoid and whom you listen to. Decide carefully what’s dangerous.”
Julien Smith, The Flinch
“So your final assignment is to give this book to another person. Maybe choose the person who needs it most. Or choose a stranger. Choose the person who you think will really get it, or the person who’s already in the ring and needs some help. It doesn’t matter where the book goes. But you need to abandon it. Forget”
Julien Smith, The Flinch
“Somewhere in the world, a lion wakes up every morning not knowing what it’s going to eat. Every day, it finds food. The lion isn’t worried—it”
Julien Smith, The Flinch
“You can’t settle for reaching other people’s limits. You have to reach yours. If”
Julien Smith, The Flinch
“You can’t settle for reaching other people’s limits. You have to reach yours.”
Julien Smith, The Flinch
“If you think you can do it, or you think you can’t do it, you are right. Henry Ford”
Julien Smith, The Flinch
“Here’s the thing: the lessons you learn best are those you get burned by. Without the scar, there’s no evidence or strong memory.”
Julien Smith, The Flinch
“Here’s the thing: the lessons you learn best are those you get burned by. Without the scar, there’s no evidence or strong memory. The event didn’t actually happen or imprint itself on your brain—you just trusted those who know better. Adults know what’s safe, so you listen. Over a lifetime, those who listen too much build a habit of trust and conformity. Unfortunately, as time goes on, that habit becomes unbreakable. This is dangerous.”
Julien Smith, The Flinch
“The fear of the flinch gets built over time, by parents, schools, and careful friends. Based on what it sees outside, it builds an impenetrable fortress. It sits there, like an alarm system, watching for dangerous behavior, and warning you when it happens.”
Julien Smith, The Flinch

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