Dorothy Parker > Quotes

“His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.”
― Dorothy Parker

“I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound; if I can remember any of the damn things.”
― Dorothy Parker, Here Lies: The Collected Stories of Dorothy Parker

“Yet, as only New Yorkers know, if you can get through the twilight, you'll live through the night.”
― Dorothy Parker

“When I was young and bold and strong,
The right was right, the wrong was wrong.
With plume on high and flag unfurled,
I rode away to right the world.
But now I’m old - and good and bad,
Are woven in a crazy plaid.
I sit and say the world is so,
And wise is s/he who lets it go.”
― Dorothy Parker

“There was nothing separate about her days. Like drops on the window-pane, they ran together and trickled away.”
― Dorothy Parker

“I like best to have one book in my hand, and a stack of others on the floor beside me, so as to know the supply of poppy and mandragora will not run out before the small hours.”
― Dorothy Parker, The Collected Dorothy Parker

“You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.”
― Dorothy Parker, The Algonquin Wits

“Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.”
― Dorothy Parker, The Ladies of the Corridor

“I'm not a writer with a drinking problem, I'm a drinker with a writing problem.”
― Dorothy Parker

“She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.”
― Dorothy Parker

“If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.”
― Dorothy Parker, While Rome Burns

“Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
a medley of extemporanea,
And love is a thing that can never go wrong,
and I am Marie of Romania.”
― Dorothy Parker, Enough Rope

“Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.”
― Dorothy Parker

“Living well is the best revenge.”
― Dorothy Parker

“Woman wants monogamy;
Man delights in novelty.
Love is woman's moon and sun;
Man has other forms of fun.
Woman lives but in her lord;
Count to ten, and man is bored.
With this the gist and sum of it,
What earthly good can come of it?”
― Dorothy Parker

“If I had a shiny gun
I could have a world of fun
Speeding bullets through the brains
Of the folks that cause me pains :)”
― Dorothy Parker

“The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'check enclosed.”
― Dorothy Parker

“Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.”
― Dorothy Parker

“Some men break your heart in two,
Some men fawn and flatter,
Some men never look at you;
And that cleans up the matter.”
― Dorothy Parker, Enough Rope

“London is satisfied, Paris is resigned, but New York is always hopeful. Always it believes that something good is about to come off, and it must hurry to meet it.”
― Dorothy Parker

“Writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat.”
― Dorothy Parker

“Where's the man that could ease a heart like a satin gown?”
― Dorothy Parker

“[On Oscar Wilde:]

"If, with the literate, I am
Impelled to try an epigram,
I never seek to take the credit;
We all assume that Oscar said it.

[Life Magazine, June 2, 1927]”
― Dorothy Parker

“Her mind lives tidily, apart from cold and noise and pain. And bolts the door against her heart, out wailing in the rain.”
― Dorothy Parker

“If I don't drive around the park,
I'm pretty sure to make my mark.
If I'm in bed each night by ten,
I may get back my looks again,
If I abstain from fun and such,
I'll probably amount to much,
But I shall stay the way I am,
Because I do not give a damn…”
― Dorothy Parker

“I know this will come as a shock to you, Mr. Goldwyn, but in all history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending.”
― Dorothy Parker, The Portable Dorothy Parker

“I shudder at the thought of men....
I'm due to fall in love again”
― Dorothy Parker

“It's not the tragedies that kill us; it's the messes.”
― Dorothy Parker, The Portable Dorothy Parker

“Her big heart did not, as is so sadly often the case, inhabit a big bosom.”
― Dorothy Parker, The Portable Dorothy Parker

“Sometimes I think I'll give up trying, and just go completely Russian and sit on a stove and moan all day.”
― Dorothy Parker