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Bill Watterson quotes Showing 91-120 of 275

“Calvin: Know what I pray for?
Hobbes: What?
Calvin: The strength to change what I can, the inability to accept what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference.”
Bill Watterson, The Essential Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury
“I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track. ”
Bill Watterson
“The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning and inhibit clarity.”
Bill Watterson
“Mom and dad say I should make my life an example of the principles I believe in. But every time I do, they tell me to stop it.”
Bill Watterson
“The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that's even worse”
Bill Watterson, It's a Magical World
“If good things lasted forever, would we appreciate how precious they are?”
Bill Watterson, It's a Magical World
“I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.”
Bill Watterson
“HOBBES:
All this modern technology just makes people try to do everything at once.”
Bill Watterson
“It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what’s cool.”
Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
“Mom’s not feeling well. So I’m making her a get well card.”
“That’s thoughtful of you.”
"See, on the front it says, ‘Get Well Soon’ … and on the inside it says,’Because my bed isn’t made, my clothes need to be put away and I’m hungry. Love Calvin.’ Want to sign it?”
“Sure, I’m hungry too”
Bill Watterson
“That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder.”
Bill Watterson
“The center snaps the ball to the quarterback!"
"No he doesn't!"
"He doesn't?"
"NO! Secretly, he's the quarterback for the other team! He keeps the ball!"
"A traitor!"
"Calvin breaks for the goal."
"Wheeee! He's at the 30... the 20... the 10! Nobody can catch him!"
"Nobody wants to! Your running toward your own goal!"
"Huh?!"
"When I learned that you were a spy, I switched goals. This is your goal and mine's hidden!"
"Hidden?!"
"You'll never find it in a million years!"
"I don't need to find it as a traitor to your team, crossing my goal counts as crossing your goal!"
"Ah, so you might think so..."
"In fact, I know so!"
"But the place I hid my goal is right on top of your goal, so the points will go to me!"
"But the fact is, I'm really a double agent! I'm on your team after all, which means you'll lose points if I cross your goal! Ha ha!"
"But I'm a traitor too, so I'm really on your team! I want you to cross my goal! The points will go to your team, which is really my team!"
"That would be true... if I were a football player!"
"You mean...?"
"I'm actually a badminton player disguised as a double-agent football player!!"
"And I'm actually a volleyball-croquet-polo player!"
"Sooner or later, all our games turn into CalvinBall."
"No cheating!”
Bill Watterson
“HOBBES:
If you don't get a goodnight kiss you get Kafka dreams.”
Bill Watterson
tags: life
“Why waste time learning when ignorance is instantaneous.
---Hobbes”
Bill Waterson
“County library? Reference desk, please. Hello? Yes, I need a word definition. Well, that's the problem. I don't know how to spell it and I'm not allowed to say it. Could you just rattle off all the swear words you know and I'll stop you when...Hello?”
Bill Watterson
“Isn't it sad how some people's grip on their lives is so precarious that they'll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?”
Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
“People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.”
Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes
“We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled. ”
Bill Watterson
“Reading goes faster if you don't sweat comprehension.”
Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
“I liked things better when I didn't understand them.”
Bill Watterson
“I'm a 21st-century kid trapped in a 19th-century family.”
Bill Watterson, There's Treasure Everywhere
“HOBBES:
Virtue needs some cheaper thrills.”
Bill Watterson
tags: life
“Calvin: The more you know, the harder it is to take decisive action.
Once you are informed, you start seeing complexities and shades of gray.
You realize nothing is as clear as it first appears. Ultimately, knowledge is paralyzing.
Being a man of action, I cannot afford to take that risk.

Hobbes: You're ignorant, but at least you act on it.”
Bill Watterson, The Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes: A Calvin and Hobbes Treasury
“Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.”
Bill Waterson
“Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz. I love loopholes.”
Bill Watterson, There's Treasure Everywhere
“I have all these great genes, but they're recessive. That's the problem here.”
Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
“You can present the material, but you can't make me care.”
Bill Watterson, Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat
“Hey Dad, will you buy me a flame thrower?

Of course not. Don't be silly.

Even if I didn't use it in the house?”
Watterson Bill, Calvin and Hobbes
“I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.
-Calvin”
Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
tags: humor
“I keep forgetting that rules are only for little nice people.”
Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes


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