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“The greater a child’s terror, and the earlier it is experienced, the harder it becomes to develop a strong and healthy sense of self.”
Nathaniel Branden, Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
“How do we keep our inner fire alive? Two things, at minimum, are needed: an ability to appreciate the positives in our life – and a commitment to action. Every day, it's important to ask and answer these questions: ‘What's good in my life?’ and ‘What needs to be done?”
Nathaniel Branden
“Faith is the commitment of one's consciousness to beliefs for which one has no sensory evidence or rational proof. When man rejects reason as his standard of judgement, only one alternative standard remains to him: his feelings. A mystic is a man who treats his feelings as tools of cognition. Faith is the equation of feelings with knowledge”
Nathaniel Branden, The Virtue of Selfishness: A New Concept of Egoism
“There is overwhelming evidence that the higher the level of self-esteem, the more likely one will be to treat others with respect, kindness, and generosity.”
Nathaniel Branden
“Of all the judgments we pass in life, none is more important than the judgment we pass on ourselves.”
Nathaniel Branden
“Self-esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves.”
Nathaniel Branden, Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
“It is naive to think that self-assertiveness is easy. To live self-assertively--which means to live authentically--is an act of high courage. That is why so many people spend the better part of their lives in hiding--from others and also from themselves.”
Nathaniel Branden
“Some people stand and move as if they have no right to the space they occupy. They wonder why others often fail to treat them with respect--not realizing that they have signalled others that it is not necessary to treat them with respect.”
Nathaniel Branden, Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
“Integrity is congruence between what you know, what you profess, and what you do.”
Nathaniel Branden
“Self-discipline is the ability to organize your behavior over time in the service of specific goals.”
Nathaniel Branden
“Genuine self esteem – please understand this – genuine self esteem is not competitive or comparative. Genuine self esteem isn’t expressed by self-glorification at the expense of others, or by trying to make yourself superior to everyone else, or diminishing others in order to elevate yourself. Arrogance, boastfulness, the overestimation of your abilities, reflect low self esteem, even though we’re often encouraged to believe the opposite. In human beings, joy in the simple fact of existence is a core meaning of healthy self esteem. Thus understood, how can you possibly have too much of it?”
Nathaniel Branden
“We must become what we wish to teach.”
Nathaniel Branden, Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
“To love is to see myself in you and to wish to celebrate myself with you. What I love is the embodiment of my values in another person. Love is an act of self-assertion, self-expression and a celebration of being alive.”
Nathaniel Branden
“I think that we approach the problem of romantic love all wrong when we start with the questions: why do so many relationships fail? I think that the interesting question is why do some succeed? Because if you consider how most of us were raised, how most of us were brought up, how few of us had decent role models in terms of our fathers or mothers, how inadequately we were prepared or educated for love as adults; it seems to me that the great miracle is that some people through their own independence, or their own perseverance, or their own creativity, make it.”
Nathaniel Branden
“The natural inclination of a child is to take pleasure in the use of the mind no less than of the body. The child's primary business is learning. It is also the primary entertainment. To retain that orientation into adulthood, so that consciousness is not a burden but a joy, is the mark of the successfully developed human being.”
Nathaniel Branden
“It is painful to face the self we know we have never had the integrity to honor and assert.”
Nathaniel Branden
“It is humiliating to realize that when you drive yourself underground, when you fake who you are, often you do so for people you do not even like or respect.”
Nathaniel Branden
“Self-esteem is not a luxury; it is a profound spiritual need.”
Nathaniel Branden
“It is a mistake to look at someone who is self assertive and say, "It's easy for her, she has good self-esteem." One of the ways you build self-esteem is by being self-assertive when it is not easy to do so. There are always times when self-assertiveness requires courage, no matter how high your self-esteem.”
Nathaniel Branden
“There is only one reality - the reality knowable to reason. And if man does not choose to perceive it, there is nothing else for him to perceive; if it is not of this world that he is conscious, then he is not conscious at all”
Nathaniel Branden, The Virtue of Selfishness: A New Concept of Egoism
“When we learn how to be in an intimate relationship without abandoning our sense of self, when we learn how to be kind without being self-sacrificing, when we learn how to cooperate with others without betraying our standards and convictions, we are practicing self-assertiveness.”
Nathaniel Branden, The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
“Never marry a person who is not a friend of your excitement.”
Nathaniel Branden, The Psychology of Romantic Love
“If my aim is to prove I am “enough,” the project goes on to infinity—because the battle was already lost on the day I conceded the issue was debatable.”
Nathaniel Branden, The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
“Regardless of what we think we're teaching, we teach what we are.”
Nathaniel Branden, Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
“In addition, if a person makes the error of identifying self with his work (rather than with the internal virtues that make the work possible), if self-esteem is tied primarily to accomplishments, success, income, or being a good family provider, the danger is that economic circumstances beyond the individual’s control may lead to the failure of the business or the loss of a job, flinging him into depression or acute demoralization.”
Nathaniel Branden, The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
“Romantic love is a passionate spiritual-emotional-sexual attachment between a man and a woman that reflects a high regard for the value of each other's person.”
Nathaniel Branden
tags: love
“One of the hardest expressions of self-assertiveness is challenging your limiting beliefs.”
Nathaniel Branden
“One of the great self-deceptions--and one of the great foolishnesses--is to tell yourself, Only I will know. Only you will know that you are a liar; only you will know you deal unethically with people who trust you; only you will know you have no intention of honoring your promise. Whose knowledge or judgment do you imagine is more important? It is precisely your own ego from which there is no escape.”
Nathaniel Branden
“The opposite of self-assertiveness is self-abnegation--abandoning or submerging your personal values, judgment, and interests. Some people tell themselves this is a virtue. It is a "virtue" that corrodes self-esteem.”
Nathaniel Branden
“Anyone who engages in the practice of psychotherapy confronts every day the devastation wrought by the teachings of religion.”
Nathaniel Branden

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