Horseradish Quotes

“Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night's sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“A good library will never be too neat, or too dusty, because somebody will always be in it, taking books off the shelves and staying up late reading them.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, "Well this isn't to bad, I don't have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I'm left-handed or right-handed" but most of us would say something more along the lines of "Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm,!”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“A library is like an island in the middle of a vast sea of ignorance, particularly if the library is very tall and the surrounding area has been flooded.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you, and there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“Entertaining a notion, like entertaining a baby cousin or entertaining a pack of hyenas, is a dangerous thing to refuse to do. If you refuse to entertain a baby cousin, the baby cousin may get bored and entertain itself by wandering off and falling down a well. If you refuse to entertain a pack of hyenas, they may become restless and entertain themselves by devouring you. But if you refuse to entertain a notion - which is just a fancy way of saying that you refuse to think about a certain idea - you have to be much braver than someone who is merely facing some blood-thirsty animals, or some parents who are upset to find their little darling at the bottom of a well, because nobody knows what an idea will do when it goes off to entertain itself.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“Most schools have a loud system of loud bells, which startle the students and teachers at regular intervals and remind them that time is passing even more slowly than it seems.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“But there are times in this harum-scarum world when figuring out the right thing to do is quite simple, but doing the right thing is simply impossible....”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“In most cases, the best strategy for a job interview is to be fairly honest, because the worst thing that can happen is that you won't get the job and will spend the rest of your life foraging for food in the wilderness and seeking shelter underneath a tree or the awning of a bowling alley that has gone out of business.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course. Piracy, for example, is a tradition that has been carried on for hundreds of years, but that doesn't mean we should all attack ships and steal their gold.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“One of the remarkable things about love is that, despite very irritating people writing poems and songs about how pleasant it is, it really is quite pleasant.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“Unless you have been very, very lucky, you have undoubtedly experienced events in your life that have made you cry. So unless you have been very, very lucky, you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“Sometimes words are not enough.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“Wishing, like sipping a glass of punch, or pulling aside a bearskin rug in order to access a hidden trapdoor in the floor, is merely a quiet way to spend one's time before the candles are extinguished on one's birthday cake.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“Morning is an important time of day, because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you are going to have. For instance, if you wake up to the sound of twittering birds, and find yourself in an enormous canopy bed, with a butler standing next to you holding a breakfast of freshly made muffins and hand-squeezed orange juice on a silver tray, you will know that your day will be a splendid one. If you wake up to the sound of church bells, and find yourself in a fairly big regular bed, with a butler standing next to you holding a breakfast of hot tea and toast on a plate, you will know that your day will be O.K. And if you wake up to the sound of somebody banging two metal pots together, and find yourself in a small bunk bed, with a nasty foreman standing in the doorway holding no breakfast at all, you will know that your day will be horrid.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“It is so rare in this world to meet a trustworthy person who truly wants to help you, and finding such a person can make you feel warm and safe, even if you are in the middle of a windy valley high up in the mountains.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“Shyness is a curious thing, because, like quicksand, it can strike people at any time, and also, like quicksand, it usually makes its victims look down.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“Sometimes when someone tells a ridiculous lie, it is best to ignore it entirely.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“There are those who say that life is like a book, with chapters for each event in your life and a limited number of pages on which you can spend your time. But I prefer to think that a book is like a life, particularly a good one, which is well to worth staying up all night to finish.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“Waiting is one of life’s hardships.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“One of the most difficult things to think about in lie is one’s regrets. Something will happen to you, and you will do the wrong thing, and for years afterward you will wish you done something different.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“The way sadness works is one of the strangest riddles of the world.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“It is not very polite to interrupt a person, of course, but sometimes if the person is very unpleasant you can hardly stop yourself.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“It is often difficult to admit that someone you love is not perfect, or to consider aspects of a person that are less than admirable.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“Arguing with somebody is never pleasant, but sometimes it is useful and necessary to do so.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“As I’m sure you know, the key to good eavesdropping is not getting caught.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“A long time ago, there was no such thing as school, and children spent their days learning a trade, a phrase which here means "standing around doing tedious tasks under the instruction of a bossy adult." In time, however, people realized that the children could be allowed to sit, and the first school was invented.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“There are many difficult things in this world to hide, but a secret is not one of them.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“What happens in a certain place can stain your feelings for that location, just as ink can stain a white sheet. You can wash it, and wash it, and still never forget what has transpired - a word which here means 'happened, and made everybody sad'.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“There are some people who believe that home is where one hangs one's hat, but these people tend to live in closets and on little pegs.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“Bad circumstances have a way of ruining things that would otherwise be pleasant.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“It has been said that the hardest job in the world is raising a child, but the people who says this have probably never worked at a comb factory or captured pirates on the high seas.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“Sometimes even in most unfortunate of lives there will occur a moment or two of good.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“The thing you hope will never happen to you might just happen to someone else instead, who has been spending their life dreading the thing that will happen to you.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“Normally it is not polite to go into somebody’s room without knocking, but you can make an exception if the person is dead, or pretending to be dead.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“Members of your family might say they are working hard all day long, while you are off at school or clarinet lessons, but the only way to know this for sure is to follow them at a discreet distance.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“Fetching objects for people who are too lazy to fetch them for themselves is never a pleasant task, particularly when the people are insulting you.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“Announcing your death should be like announcing that you are a lunar moth: It must be done quietly or it will not be believed.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“There are some who go through life with a shadow hanging over them, particularly if they live in a building which has long wide awnings.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

“Like People, animals will become frightened and likely do whatever you say if you whip them enough.”
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid