Between Parent and Child Quotes

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Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication by Haim G. Ginott
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Between Parent and Child Quotes (showing 1-30 of 38)
“What do we say to a guest who forgets her umbrella? Do we run after her and say "What is the matter with you? Every time you come to visit you forget something. If it's not one thing it's another. Why can't you be like your sister? When she comes to visit, she knows how to behave. You're forty-four years old! Will you never learn? I'm not a slave to pick up after you! I bet you'd forget your head if it weren't attached to your shoulders." That's not what we say to a guest. We say "Here's your umbrella, Alice," without adding "scatterbrain."
Parents need to learn to respond to their children as they do to guests.”
Haim G. Ginott, Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication
“Parental criticism is unhelpful. It creates anger and resentment. Even worse, children who are regularly criticized learn to condemn themselves and others. They learn to doubt their own worth and to belittle the value of others. They learn to suspect people and to expect personal doom.”
Haim G. Ginott, Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication
“Children become frustrated and resentful when they view their parents as not being interested “in how they feel and in their point of view.”
Haim G. Ginott, Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication
“Empathy, a parent's ability to understand what a child is feeling, is an important and valuable ingredient of child rearing.”
Haim G. Ginott, Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication
“Like a trained surgeon who is careful where he cuts, parents, too, need to become skilled in the use of words. Because words are like knives. They can inflict, if not physical, many painful emotional wounds.”
Haim G. Ginott, Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication
“When we genuinely acknowledge a child's plight and voice her disappointment, she often gathers the strength to face reality. Seven-year-old”
Haim G. Ginott, Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication
“In criticism parents attack children's personality attributes and their character. In guidance we state the problem and a possible solution. We say nothing to the child about himself or herself. When”
Haim G. Ginott, Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication
“Communication with children should be based on respect and on skill; it requires (a) that messages preserve the child's as well as the parent's self-respect; and (b) that statements of understanding precede statements of advice or instruction. Eric,”
Haim G. Ginott, Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication
“permissiveness is the acceptance of imaginary and symbolic behavior. Over-permissiveness is the allowing of undesirable acts. Permissiveness and acceptance of all feelings bring confidence and an increasing capacity to express feelings and thoughts. Over-permissiveness brings anxiety and increasing demands for privileges that cannot be granted. Permit”
Haim G. Ginott, Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication
“Unfortunately, when parents are confronted with children's misbehavior, they are unaware that usually disturbing feelings fuel that behavior. Feelings must be dealt with before behavior can be improved. As”
Haim G. Ginott, Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication
“Behind many childhood questions is the desire for reassurance. The best answer for such questions is the assurance of our abiding relationship. When a child tells of an event, it is sometimes helpful to respond not to the event itself, but to the feelings around it.”
Haim G. Ginott, Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication
“It is a deep comfort to children to discover that their feelings are a normal part of the human experience. There is no better way to convey that than to understand them. When”
Haim G. Ginott, Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication
“In adopting these attitudes and practices, a parent will accomplish a large part of educating a child for responsibility. And yet, example alone is not enough. A sense of responsibility is attained by each child through his or her own efforts and experience. While the parents' example creates the favorable attitude and climate for learning, specific experiences consolidate the learning to make it part of the child's character. Therefore, it is important to give specific responsibilities to children matched to their different levels of maturity. In most homes children present problems, but parents find the solutions. If children are to mature, they must be given the opportunity to solve their own problems.”
Haim G. Ginott, Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication
“Young children have genuine difficulty in coping with their socially unacceptable impulses. The parents must be an ally in the child's struggle for control of such impulses. By setting limits, the parent offers help to the child. Besides stopping dangerous conduct, the limit also conveys a silent message: You don't have to be afraid of your impulses. I won't let you go too far. It is safe. Techniques”
Haim G. Ginott, Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication
“A limit should be so stated that it tells the child clearly (a) what constitutes unacceptable conduct; (b) what substitute will be accepted.”
Haim G. Ginott, Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication
“A limit must be stated in a manner that is deliberately calculated to minimize resentment, and to save self-respect. The very process of limit-setting, of saying “no,” should convey authority, not insult. It should deal with a specific event, not with a developmental history.”
Haim G. Ginott, Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication
“Children do not yearn for equal shares of love: They need to be loved uniquely, not uniformly. The emphasis is on quality, not equality. We”
Haim G. Ginott, Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication
“A warning serves as a challenge to the child's autonomy.”
Haim G. Ginott, Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication
“Rewards are most helpful and more enjoyable when they are unannounced in advance, when they come as a surprise, when they represent recognition and appreciation. Promises:”
Haim G. Ginott, Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication
“Provoked lies. Parents should not ask questions that are likely to cause defensive lying. Children resent being interrogated by a parent, especially when they suspect that the answers are already known. They hate questions that are traps, questions that force them to choose between an awkward lie and an embarrassing confession. Quentin,”
Haim G. Ginott, Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication
“Why do children lie? Sometimes they lie because they are not allowed to tell the truth. Four-year-old”
Haim G. Ginott, Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication
“Another way parents can prevent children from lying is to avoid the question “Why?” Once upon a time “why” was a term of inquiry. This meaning has long vanished. It was corrupted by the misuse of “why” as a coin of criticism. To children “why” stands for parental disapproval, disappointment, and displeasure. It elicits echoes of past blame. Even a simple “Why did you do that?” may suggest “Why in the world did you do something as stupid as that?” A”
Haim G. Ginott, Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication
“The rule is that when we know the answer, we do not ask the question.”
Haim G. Ginott, Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication
“Misbehavior and punishment are not opposites that cancel each other; on the contrary, they breed and reinforce each other. Punishment does not deter misconduct. It makes the offender more skillful in escaping detection. When children are punished they resolve to be more careful, not more obedient or responsible. Parents”
Haim G. Ginott, Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication
“The plain fact is that responsibility cannot be imposed. It can only grow from within, fed and directed by values absorbed at home and in the community. Responsibility that is not anchored in positive values can be antisocial and destructive. Gang members often show great loyalty and strong responsibility in relation to one another and to their gang. Terrorists take their duties in dead earnest; they carry out commands, even if they involve sacrificing their own lives. The”
Haim G. Ginott, Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication
“Responsibility in children starts with the parents' attitude and skills. The attitudes include a willingness to allow children to feel all their feelings; the skills include an ability to demonstrate to children acceptable ways of coping with feelings. The”
Haim G. Ginott, Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication
“When the child is allowed to experience the self as an individual with self-originating needs and goals, that child begins to assume responsibility for his or her own life and its demands. Allowance:”
Haim G. Ginott, Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication
“The main purpose of music education in childhood is to provide an effective outlet for feelings. A child's life is so full of restrictions, regulations, and frustrations that outlets of release become essential. Music is one of the best avenues of release: It gives sound to fury, shape to joy, and relief to tension. Parents”
Haim G. Ginott, Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication
“The limit against hitting a parent should not be modified under any circumstances. Effective upbringing is based on mutual respect between parent and child without the parent's abdicating the adult role.”
Haim G. Ginott, Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication
“The peaceful home, like the hoped-for peaceful world, does not depend on a sudden benevolent change in human nature. It does depend on deliberate procedures that methodically reduce tensions before they lead to explosions. Emotionally healthy parents are not saints. They're aware of their anger and respect it. They use their anger as a source of information, an indication of their caring. Their words are congruent with their feelings. They do not hide their feelings.”
Haim G. Ginott, Between Parent and Child: The Bestselling Classic That Revolutionized Parent-Child Communication

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