Heartburn Quotes

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Heartburn Heartburn by Nora Ephron
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Heartburn Quotes (showing 1-21 of 21)
“And then the dreams break into a million tiny pieces. The dream dies. Which leaves you with a choice: you can settle for reality, or you can go off, like a fool, and dream another dream.”
Nora Ephron, Heartburn
“I look out the window and I see the lights and the skyline and the people on the street rushing around looking for action, love, and the world's greatest chocolate chip cookie, and my heart does a little dance.”
Nora Ephron, Heartburn
“I married him against all evidence. I married him believing that marriage doesn't work, that love dies, that passion fades, and in so doing I became the kind of romantic only a cynic is truly capable of being.”
Nora Ephron, Heartburn
“Every so often I would look at my women friends who were happily married and didn't cook, and I would always find myself wondering how they did it. Would anyone love me if I couldn't cook? I always thought cooking was part of the package: Step right up, it's Rachel Samstat, she's bright, she's funny and she can cook!”
Nora Ephron, Heartburn
“I always read the last page of a book first so that if I die before I finish I'll know how it turned out.”
Nora Ephron, Heartburn
“Vera said: “Why do you feel you have to turn everything into a story?”
So I told her why.
Because if I tell the story, I control the version.
Because if I tell the story, I can make you laugh, and I would rather have you laugh at me than feel sorry for me.
Because if I tell the story, it doesn't hurt as much.
Because if I tell the story, I can get on with it.”
Nora Ephron, Heartburn
“ Everyone always asks, was he mad at you for writing the book? and I have to say, Yes, yes, he was. He still is. It is one of the most fascinating things to me about the whole episode: he cheated on me, and then got to behave as if he was the one who had been wronged because I wrote about it! I mean, it's not as if I wasn't a writer. It's not as if I hadn't often written about myself. I'd even written about him. What did he think was going to happen? That I would take a vow of silence for the first time in my life? " ”
Nora Ephron, Heartburn
“You only have a certain amount of energy, and when you spread it around, everything gets confused, and the first thing you know, you can't remember which one you've told which story to, and the next thing you know, you're moaning "Oh, Morty, Morty, Morty," when what you mean is "Oh, Sidney, Sidney, Sidney," and the next thing you know, you think you're in love with both of them simply because you've been raised to believe that the only polite response to "I love you" is "I love you too," and the next thing you know, you think you're in love with only one of them, because you're too guilty to handle loving them both.”
Nora Ephron, Heartburn
“[I] had gotten to the point where I simply could not make a bad vinaigrette, this was not exactly the stuff of drama. (Even now, I cannot believe Mark would want to risk losing that vinaigrette. You just don't bump into vinaigrettes that good.)”
Nora Ephron, Heartburn
“When I first met him, he had a recurrent nightmare that Henry Kissinger was chasing him with a knife, and I said it was really his father, and he said it was really Henry Kissinger, and I said it was his father and he said it was Henry Kissinger, and this went on for months until he started going to the Central American shrinkette, who said Henry Kissinger was really his younger sister.”
Nora Ephron, Heartburn
“Well, at least this time I get to be a person in the story. The last time you told one of your Russian parables I was a bag of chickens.”
Nora Ephron, Heartburn
“Sometimes I believe that love dies but hope springs eternal. Sometimes I believe that hope dies but love springs eternal. Sometimes I believe that sex plus guilt equals love, and sometimes I believe that sex plus guilt equals good sex. Sometimes I believe that love is as natural as the tides, and sometimes I believe that love is an act of will. Sometimes I believe that some people are better at love than others, and sometimes I believe that everyone is faking it. Sometimes I believe that love is essential, and sometimes I believe that only reason love is essential is that otherwise you spend all your time looking for it.”
Nora Ephron, Heartburn
“That's the catch about betrayal, of course: that it feels good, that there's something immensely pleasurable about moving from a complicated relationship which involves minor atrocities on both sides to a nice, neat, simple one where one person has done something so horrible and unforgivable that the other person is immediately absolved of all the low-grade sins of sloth, envy, gluttony, avarice and I forget the other three.”
Nora Ephron, Heartburn
“You'd be amazed how little choice you have about loony bins.”
Nora Ephron, Heartburn
“He loved Thelma, Jonathan said, he had never loved anyone but Thelma, he had loved Thelma for nineteen years and would always love her even though Thelma didn't give a rat's ass about him and never had.”
Nora Ephron, Heartburn
“[S]ometimes, when you are a food person, the possible irrelevance of what you are doing doesn’t cross your mind until it’s too late. (Once, for example, when I was just starting out in the food business, I was hired by the caper people to develop a lot of recipes using capers, and it was weeks of tossing capers into just about everything but milkshakes before I came to terms with the fact that nobody really likes capers no matter what you do with them. Some people pretend to like capers, but the truth is that any dish that tastes good with capers in it tastes even better with capers not in in.”
Nora Ephron, Heartburn
tags: food, humor
“What I love about cooking is that after a hard day, there is something comforting about the fact that if you melt butter and add flour and then hot stock, it will get thick! It’s a sure thing! It’s sure thing in a world where nothing is sure; it has a mathematical certainty in a world where those of us who long for some kind of certainty are forced to settle for crossword puzzles.”
Nora Ephron, Heartburn
“She's talking about condominiums," my friend Betty Searle called up to say one day. "Obviously she's involved with someone."
Are you sure?" I said.
Of course I'm sure," said Betty. "The question is who." She thought for a minute. "Maybe it's Senator Campbell," she said. "He's talking condominiums, too."
Senators always talk about condominiums," I said.
That's true," said Betty.”
Nora Ephron, Heartburn
“I know," I said, "but it scares me. It reminds me of my father."
I'm not your father," said Mark. "Repeat after me, 'Mark Feldman is not my father.'"
Mark Feldman is not my father," I said.
Am I fat?" said Mark.
No," I said.
Am I bald?"
No."
Do I smell of Dr. Scholl's foot pads?"
No," I said.
I rest my case," said Mark.”
Nora Ephron, Heartburn
“I must try this again, I thought; I must try again someday to sit still and not say a word. Maybe when I'm dead.”
Nora Ephron, Heartburn
tags: humor
“Men … I hate them. I’ve always hated them. You wonder why I always hang around with women and never with men, it’s because men do things like this.”
Nora Ephron, Heartburn

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