The Last Hero Quotes

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The Last Hero (Discworld, #27; Rincewind #7) The Last Hero by Terry Pratchett
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The Last Hero Quotes (showing 1-27 of 27)
“I DON'T HOLD WITH CRUELTY TO CATS.”
Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero
“Lots of people would be as cowardly as me if they were brave enough.”
Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero
“Few religions are definite about the size of Heaven, but on the planet Earth the Book of Revelation (ch. XXI, v.16) gives it as a cube 12,000 furlongs on a side. This is somewhat less than 500,000,000,000,000,000,000 cubic feet. Even allowing that the Heavenly Host and other essential services take up at least two thirds of this space, this leaves about one million cubic feet of space for each human occupant- assuming that every creature that could be called ‘human’ is allowed in, and the the human race eventually totals a thousand times the numbers of humans alive up until now. This is such a generous amount of space that it suggests that room has also been provided for some alien races or - a happy thought - that pets are allowed.”
Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero
“The place where the story happened was a world on the back of four elephants perched on the shell of a giant turtle. That's the advantage of space. It's big enough to hold practically anything, and so, eventually, it does.
People think that it is strange to have a turtle ten thousand miles long and an elephant more than two thousand miles tall, which just shows that the human brain is ill-adapted for thinking and was probably originally designed for cooling the blood. It believes mere size is amazing.
There's nothing amazing about size. Turtles are amazing, and elephants are quite astonishing. But the fact that there's a big turtle is far less amazing than the fact that there is a turtle anywhere.”
Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero
“‎No one remembers the singer. The song remains.”
Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero
“This man was so absent-mindedly clever that he could paint pictures that didn’t just follow you around the room but went home with you and did the washing-up.”
Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero
“Not craftsmen, my lord" he said. "I have no use for people who have learned the limits of the possible”
Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero
“Some people are confident because they are fools. Leonard had the look of someone who was confident because, so far, he'd never found reason not to be. He would step off a high building in the happy state of mind of someone who intended to deal with the problem of the ground when it presented itself.”
Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero
“They sometimes forgot what happened if you let a pawn get all the way up the board.”
Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero
“Mission motto, sir," said Carrot cheerfully. "Morituri Nolumus Mori. Rincewind suggested it."
"I imagine he did," said Lord Vetinari, observing the wizard coldly. "And would you care to give us a colloquial translation, Mr Rincewind?"
"Er..." Rincewind hesitated, but there really was no escape. "Er... roughly speaking, it means, 'We who are about to die don't want to', sir.”
Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero
“That's what prayers are... it's frightened people trying to make friends with the bully!”
Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero
“I'm sure Mr da Quirm draws lovely pictures, but I for one would need a little more evidence of his amazing genius before we entrust the world to his...device. Show me one thing he can do that anyone couldn't do, if they had the time.'
'I have never considered myself a genius,' said Leonard, looking down bashfully and doodling on the paper in front of him.
'Well, if I was a genius I think I'd know it-' the Dean began, and then stopped.
Absent-mindedly, while barely paying attention to what he was doing, Leonard had drawn a perfect circle.”
Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero
“Their eyes said that... they did know the meaning of the word 'fear'. It was something that happened to other people.”
Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero
“Too many people, when listing all the perils to be found in the search for lost treasure or ancient wisdom, had forgotten to put at the top of the list "the man who arrived just before you".”
Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero
“People think that it is strange to have a turtle ten thousand miles long and an elephant more than two thousand miles tall, which just shows that the human brain is ill-adapted for thinking and was probably originally designed for cooling the blood.”
Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero
“The wizards were good at wind, weather being a matter not of force but of lepidoptery.”
Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero
“S called a lute," said Caleb, through a mouthful of walrus.
"Whut?"
"IT'S CALLED A LUTE, HAMISH!"
"Aye, I used to loot!”
Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero
“Me and Evil Harry go way back," said Cohen, rolling a cigarette. "I knew him when he was starting up with just two lads and his Shed of Doom."
"And Slasher, the Steed of Terror," Evil Harry pointed out.
"Yes, but he was a donkey, Harry," Cohen pointed out.
"He had a very nasty bite on him, though. He'd take your finger off as soon as look at you.”
Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero
“It sucks all the life right out of you, civilisation."
"It killed Old Vincent the Ripper," said Boy Willie. "He choked to death on a concubine."
There was no sound but the hiss of snow in the fire and a number of people thinking fast.
"I think you mean cucumber," said the bard.
"That's right, cucumber," said Boy Willie. "I've never been good at them long words."
"Very important difference in a salad situation." said Cohen.”
Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero
“He opened the box and took out the kitten. It stared at him with the normal mad amazement of kittens everywhere.
I DON'T HOLD WITH CRUELTY TO CATS, said Death, putting it gently on the floor.”
Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero
“On the Kite, the situation was being 'workshopped'. This is the means by which people who don't know anything get together to pool their ignorance.”
Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero
“Its funny," said Vena. "I never knew I had the talent, but people will come miles for my dumplings."
"No change there, then," said Truckle the Uncivil. "Hur, hur, hur."
"Truckle," said Cohen, "remember when you told me to tell you when you were bein' too uncivil?"
"Yeah?"
"That was one of those times.”
Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero
“It's classical mythology, Cohen," said the minstrel. "I thought everyone knew. He was chained to a rock for eternity and every day an eagle comes and pecks out his liver."
"Is that true?"
"It's mentioned in many of the classic texts."
"I'm not much of a reader," said Cohen. "Chained to a rock? For a first offence? He's still there?"
"Eternity isn't finished yet, Cohen."
"He must've had a big liver!"
"It grows again every night, according to the legend," said the minstrel.
"I wish my kidneys did," said Cohen.”
Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero
“Five damn days, that battle took," said Truckle, "'cos the Duchess was doing a tapestry to commemorate it, right? We had to keep doing the fights over and over again, and there was the devil to pay when she was changing needles. There's no place for the media on the field of battle, I've always said."
"Aye, and I mind you makin' a rude sign to the ladies!" Hamish cackled. "I saw that ol' tapestry in the castle of Rosante years later and I could tell it wuz you!”
Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero
“ARE YOU SUGGESTING THAT I WILL KILL THE CAT BY LOOKING AT IT?
- It's not quite like that, sir
- I MEAN, IT'S NOT AS IF I MAKE FACES OR ANYTHING”
Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero
“Oh, you're Fate?" said Cohen, as they reached the gaming table. "Always wanted to meet you. I thought you were supposed to be blind?"
"No."
"How about if someone stuck two fingers in yer eyes?"
"I'm sorry?"
"Just my little joke."
"Ha. Ha," said Fate.”
Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero
“Some people say you achieve immortality through your children," said the minstrel.
"Yeah?" said Cohen. "Name one of your great-granddads, then.”
Terry Pratchett, The Last Hero

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