The Grim Grotto Quotes

“People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Grim Grotto

“It is one of life's bitterest truths that bedtime so often arrives just when things are really getting interesting.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Grim Grotto

“Having a personal philosophy is like having a pet marmoset, because it may be very attractive when you acquire it, but there may be situations when it will not come in handy at all.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Grim Grotto

“Of course, it is boring to read about boring thing, but it is better to read something that makes you yawn with boredom than something that will make you weep uncontrollably, pound your fists against the floor, and leave tearstains all over your pillowcase, sheets, and boomerang collection.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Grim Grotto

“How can someone so wonderful do something so terrible?”
― Lemony Snicket, The Grim Grotto

“A successful villain should have all these things at his or her villainous fingertips, or else give up villainy altogether and try to lead a life of decency, integrity, and kindness, which is much more challenging and noble, if not always quite as exciting.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Grim Grotto

“I’m happier than a pig eating bacon!”
― Lemony Snicket, The Grim Grotto

“The last time I saw you, I was trying to throw thumbtacks into your cradle!”
― Lemony Snicket, The Grim Grotto

“You’re just jealous of me because I’m a tap-dancing ballerina fairy princess veterinarian!”
― Lemony Snicket, The Grim Grotto

“Tee hee torture!”
― Lemony Snicket, The Grim Grotto

“I guess we’ll be traveling in uncharted waters.”
“That’ll be fun,” Phil said.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Grim Grotto

“Let’s see! I’ll put you to work right away! Aye! No—first I’ll give you a tour! No—I’ll introduce you to my crew! No—I’ll let you rest! No—I’d better get you into uniforms! Aye! It’s important that everyone aboard wear a waterproof uniform in case the submarine collapses and we find ourselves underwater! Of course, in that case we’ll need diving helmets! Except Sunny because she can’t wear one! I guess she’ll drown! No—she can curl up inside a diving helmet! Aye! The helmets have a tiny door on the neck just for such purpose! Aye! I’ve seen it done! I’ve seen so many things in my time!”
“Excuse me,” Violet said, “but could you tell us who you are?”
― Lemony Snicket, The Grim Grotto

“Or why you are wearing a picture of Santa Clause on you shirts, but-”
“It’s Herman Melville.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Grim Grotto

“Hup hup ha ha hammy hee hee!”
― Lemony Snicket, The Grim Grotto

“He who hesitates is lost”
― Lemony Snicket, The Grim Grotto

“It is my fate that some of my questions will never be answered.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Grim Grotto