Misfit’s Reviews > Fifty Shades of Grey > Status Update

Misfit
Misfit is 17% done
Portland disappears in front of us as we head into U.S. airspace,

WTF? You are in freaking Portland, Oregon. In the United States of America. Just who in the hell's airspace did you think you would be in?

Jun 09, 2012 07:48AM
Fifty Shades of Grey (Fifty Shades, #1)

9 likes · like flag

Misfit’s Previous Updates

Misfit
Misfit is 76% done
...and to think that only yesterday I was staring out at the Sound toward the Pacific.
Okay. Putting a map in the comments under a spoiler tag, it's a bit largish. Looky where Seattle is. Looky where the Pacific Ocean with a big ol' mountain range betwixt them.
Jun 09, 2012 05:30PM
Fifty Shades of Grey (Fifty Shades, #1)


Misfit
Misfit is 65% done
We speed up Interstate 5... he says as Taylor whisks us into the night toward Bellevue.

Erm. Google maps, downtown Seattle to Bellevue. See the directions of the blue lines. They're a going south on I5 (not Interstate 5) to get to I90.

Jun 09, 2012 03:28PM
Fifty Shades of Grey (Fifty Shades, #1)


Misfit
Misfit is 63% done
Ewwwww. This is supposed to be romance? I'll put the quote in a comment with a spoiler tag.
Jun 09, 2012 02:56PM
Fifty Shades of Grey (Fifty Shades, #1)


Misfit
Misfit is 51% done
I remember him saying—I can’t remember when—that I would feel so much better after a good hiding. How can that be so? I really don’t get it. But strangely, I do. I can’t say that I enjoyed the experience. In fact, I would still go a long way to avoid it, but now … I have this safe, weird, bathed in afterglow, sated feeling. I put my head in my hands. I just don’t understand.

Neither do I :/

Jun 09, 2012 01:55PM
Fifty Shades of Grey (Fifty Shades, #1)


Misfit
Misfit is 45% done
I put my head in my hands. I didn’t know I could dream sex. Was it something I ate? Perhaps the oysters and my Internet research manifesting itself in my first wet dream. It’s bewildering.
Jun 09, 2012 12:53PM
Fifty Shades of Grey (Fifty Shades, #1)


Misfit
Misfit is 38% done
“God, I’d like to give you a good hiding. You’d feel a lot better, and so would I.”
Jun 09, 2012 12:04PM
Fifty Shades of Grey (Fifty Shades, #1)


Misfit
Misfit is 30% done
“What’s vanilla sex?”

“Just straightforward sex, Anastasia. No toys, no add-ons.”

“Oh.” I thought it was chocolate fudge brownie sex that we had, with a cherry on the top. But hey, what do I know?

:D

Jun 09, 2012 11:20AM
Fifty Shades of Grey (Fifty Shades, #1)


Misfit
Misfit is 27% done
One last quote then I'm off to the gym and a FOL sale.

“Well, you get an A in oral skills. Come, let’s go to bed, I owe you an orgasm.” Orgasm! Another one!

*rolls eyes*

Jun 09, 2012 09:18AM
Fifty Shades of Grey (Fifty Shades, #1)


Misfit
Misfit is 26% done
A few quotes from the first big "F" scene. Can't call it a love scene after all.

“Well, as you’re sore, I thought we could stick to oral skills.”

“I want you to become well acquainted, on first name terms if you will, with my favorite and most cherished part of my body. I’m very attached to this.”

My inner goddess is doing the merengue with some salsa moves.

Jun 09, 2012 09:17AM
Fifty Shades of Grey (Fifty Shades, #1)


Misfit
Misfit is 20% done
He undoes the buttons of his jeans...

I don't recall seeing buttons on jeans since the swabby pants were so popular in the 70s.

Jun 09, 2012 09:13AM
Fifty Shades of Grey (Fifty Shades, #1)


Comments (showing 1-50 of 54) (54 new)


Mermarie I love how you're picking apart all of those inconsistencies!


Misfit It's about the only thing keeping me reading. Sloppy, sloppy sloppy. I'm still shaking my head at the start of it, where she has to mention that she's taking Interstate 5 to get to Seattle. Ummm, over and above the Interstate 5 instead of I-5 sloppiness, there are just so many ways to go from Vancouver, WA to Seattle. I-5, train or by air. The narrative would have been more believable if she'd told herself she was hopping on the freeway.


message 3: by Rio (Lynne) (new)

Rio (Lynne) Still Laughing!


Misfit Rio (Lynne) wrote: "Still Laughing!"

You'll have to read it just for the helicopter flight and flight jargons. Michele the pilot says it's not exactly up-to-snuff in the accuracy department.


message 5: by Rebecca (new) - added it

Rebecca Huston If this dude Grey is such a mover-shaker, then he'd be doing the NYT crossword. Sheesh. And US Airspace -- what they took a detour to China or something?


Misfit Lol, good point. Where or where are the editors?


Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) You'd think a quick editorial lookthrough would have caught some of these.

Oh wait, this was a crass, hyperspeed money grab.

Carry on.


Misfit Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) wrote: "You'd think a quick editorial lookthrough would have caught some of these.

Oh wait, this was a crass, hyperspeed money grab.

Carry on."


Lol. I'll be back later with more.


message 9: by Jeannette (new)

Jeannette Rebecca wrote: "If this dude Grey is such a mover-shaker, then he'd be doing the NYT crossword. Sheesh. And US Airspace -- what they took a detour to China or something?"

I was thinking the same thing. Does anybody say that? It sounds like something out of a spy movie.


Crystal Starr Light ROFTLMAO!! I'm sure some Portlanders like to think they are in a different country.


Misfit Crystal Starr Light wrote: "ROFTLMAO!! I'm sure some Portlanders like to think they are in a different country."

Isn't that just hilarious? Where in the hell were the editors??


message 12: by Jane (new)

Jane Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) wrote: "You'd think a quick editorial lookthrough would have caught some of these.

Oh wait, this was a crass, hyperspeed money grab.

Carry on."


I need a Like button for all these comments.


message 13: by Rio (Lynne) (new)

Rio (Lynne) I just landed in NY from LAX and we stayed in US Air Space half the flight. The other half, I don't know let me check with this author.


message 14: by Mermarie (last edited Jun 09, 2012 08:05PM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Mermarie Where in the world is Carmen San Diego Anastasia Steele. Lol


message 15: by Rebecca (new) - added it

Rebecca Huston Rio (Lynne) wrote: "I just landed in NY from LAX and we stayed in US Air Space half the flight. The other half, I don't know let me check with this author."

Love it. Wonder what this author would make of a trans-pacific flight...


Mermarie Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) wrote: "You'd think a quick editorial lookthrough would have caught some of these.

Oh wait, this was a crass, hyperspeed money grab.

Carry on."


LOL, I'm with Jane. This calls for a protest for LIKEability on comments. :(

I'm almost tempted into blackmailing you girls somehow, into devising a novel with the most ridiculous nonsense imaginable. Keep our intent quiet, then after it hits the Bestsellers list, donate it to our favorite charities. LOL


message 17: by Rio (Lynne) (new)

Rio (Lynne) I agree also Jane! We need like buttons!


Misfit Rio (Lynne) wrote: "I just landed in NY from LAX and we stayed in US Air Space half the flight. The other half, I don't know let me check with this author."

PRICELESS. Thank you.


message 19: by Lori (new) - rated it 2 stars

Lori Ugh the fact that it is so poorly edited makes me cringe. I just keep thinking someday down the line she's going to take her billions hire an editor and re-release 50 shades and we'll have deal with this effing crap all over again. It'll be like all the re-releases of Star Wars.


message 20: by Rio (Lynne) (new)

Rio (Lynne) More like the movie trilogy. You know it has to be in the works.


message 21: by Lori (new) - rated it 2 stars

Lori Yep it is. She sold the book rights for like 5 million.


Misfit It's all about money, isn't it?


message 23: by Lori (new) - rated it 2 stars

Lori I'm pretty sure at this point it is.


message 24: by Rebecca (new) - added it

Rebecca Huston And that's sad. I can understand that you want to write and be published for a good sum of money, but 5M for this garbage? ugh.


message 25: by Lori (new) - rated it 2 stars

Lori Yep. And wonderful news ladies she's also wanting to write a YA novel. Yep we need this kinda crap being fed to young girls. I really hope that she puts more thought into what she is protraying in her YA book. But somehow I doubt it.


Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) Even though this trilogy could be condensed into one book (by many accounts), it'll probably be dragged out into three movies. Ka-ching.


Misfit Sorry, but this woman cannot write. The repetition is just mind boggling.


message 28: by Lori (new) - rated it 2 stars

Lori Or maybe 4 books. It seems to be the trend to split the last book into two movies.


Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) Lori wrote: "Or maybe 4 books. It seems to be the trend to split the last book into two movies."

You're so right about that!


message 30: by Lori (new) - rated it 2 stars

Lori opps i meant 4 movies. lol. I don't see how there really isn't any information in them that NEEDS to be told but if they can they will drag it out for more moolah!


message 31: by Jane (new)

Jane It seems so unfair that there are many very good writers out there who struggle to get published and then struggle to stay published, most of them earning way less than minimum wage for the privilege. Publishers seem to reserve most of their money for the crap that lays the golden egg... I'm sure it wasn't like that in the mid-1900s. When did the rot set in?


Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) I don't know...looking back on publishing fads, the "innocent small town that harbors all kinds of rot" seemed a genre in itself in the 50s and 60s, thanks to Peyton Place, with books of all kinds of quality and no end of critics to loathe them. I'd love to know when that particular premise got its current form - maybe Kings Row? Peyton Place wasn't the first, but it's certainly the most popular.

It's a theme I love, though, and the trashier the better. Makes me a hypocrite for lambasting this tawdry, best-selling Fifty Shades crap, but I don't care. :D


message 33: by Rio (Lynne) (new)

Rio (Lynne) @Lori, that is scary about the YA book. As for the movie, has everyone forgot this has already been done before...anyone remember 9 1/2 Weeks? Even though this one sounds sicker.


message 34: by Rebecca (new) - added it

Rebecca Huston Yep. And it was the book 9 1/2 Weeks that kicked off the whole erotica hitting mainstream fiction. That one at least read well, and the book is far, far better than the film.


message 35: by Misfit (last edited Jun 10, 2012 04:33PM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Misfit BTW ladies, have any of you sat and read through all status updates for this book? There's some entertaining stuff to be found there :p

Problem #1: Nobody talks to their subconscious this much unless their name is Sybil.
Problem #2: Nobody loses their virginity in such a rough manner and has 3 orgasms. And then to want to do it again the next day? Um, no, I think you'd be at the doctor's office.



message 36: by Jeannette (new)

Jeannette I was just going to say that this has been most entertaining, all weekend! :)


Misfit I've been having a heck of a time trying to keep up with the comments. I didn't want to miss one from any of you.


message 38: by Rio (Lynne) (new)

Rio (Lynne) #2 is funny. Sadly, alot of books have that happen, well scratch the roughness.


Mermarie I've been so intuned to this thread all weekend long. :D I haven't really turned the first page in my own collections, either...but I enjoy discussing books as much as I do reading them. :D


message 40: by Lizzie (last edited Jul 07, 2012 09:38PM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Lizzie Sparrow OMG. This is SUCH a piece of manure. Everyone told me how badly written this was, and I didn't believe them. There is SO much wrong about this book--and it has NOTHING to do with the BDSM. I was actually looking FORWARD to those parts. In fact, I've had to skip around to those parts just to get away from the bad writing in the rest of the book--not that the sex scenes aren't equally poorly written, but, to quote Anastasia, "Jeeze." Or, to quote me---BARF. I can't even get into THOSE, because the Godawful writing is SO bad it's a constant distraction--I can't BELIEVE that women all over the world are getting off on this---I tried. BELIEVE ME. I WANTED to. But I just can't get past the horrible, horrible writing. And British colloquialisms like "Laters" that clearly indicates that the author has NO clue as to how the Americans speak.

I am SO glad I checked these out at the library---there's no WAY I would pay money for this crap. I'm STILL on the first one and have JUST been able to get past page 72, which I've been stuck on for about 2 weeks. It's sickening to know that crap like this makes MILLIONS AND gets turned into movies, when there are perfectly GOOD writers that can't get a book deal. The characters aren't believable, and the author's lack of knowledge about the U.S. in terms of colloquialisms, geography---i.e didn't her editor tell her that Oregon IS in U.S. airspace????? At the very LEAST, she should have been a little more industrious in trying to research SOMETHING about her subject matter instead of 1. Ripping off Twilight & tossing in some BDSM; 2. Being entirely clueless about customs, speech, GEOGRAPHY, etc. in America. This, in my mind, is just pure LAZINESS on the part of this "author". AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!! I am tryin' to read the whole trilogy, but at this point am wondering why...think I'll just skip around to all the sex and---wait, that's most of the books, right? Oh well. This has got to be THE worst thing I've ever read, and definitely the worst thing I've ever seen to make it to the top of the best-seller's list.


Misfit Lizzie wrote: "OMG. This is SUCH a piece of manure. Everyone told me how badly written this was, and I didn't believe them. There is SO much wrong about this book--and it has NOTHING to do with the BDSM. I was ac..."

I am just shocked that this is being treated like the latest hot romance. He beat her before she'd agreed to his little contract. That is wrong.

And yes, the writing is atrocious and the big publishing house making all that money off should hang their head in shame, as should James. Unfortunately, people are buying this garbage and James & publishers are laughing all the way to the bank.

I will finish the trilogy just to see for myself (and for the laughs), but I will wait for library copies.


message 42: by Jane (new)

Jane I find that my interest in reading the reviews of FSOG has dimmed. They are funny, agreed, but after a while the joke wears thin and I find myself simply sad that, as you said Misfit, what should be a source of shame is spinning money at an astounding rate (although I'm kind of pleased for the spoofers who've made a little cash off the back of FSOG).

I'll be glad when the novel-reading world moves on to the next big thing. What'll it be? How about--gasp!--a GOOD novel?


Misfit Jane wrote: "I find that my interest in reading the reviews of FSOG has dimmed. They are funny, agreed, but after a while the joke wears thin and I find myself simply sad that, as you said Misfit, what should b..."

I'll still check in on the updates now and then, but I'm not actively reading all new reviews. I have books to read, after all.

The money being made of these sickens me, but I'm happy to see the spoofers jump on and steal some of it.

A GOOD novelon the best seller list? What a novel concept that would be.


message 44: by Rio (Lynne) (new)

Rio (Lynne) Jane wrote: "I find that my interest in reading the reviews of FSOG has dimmed. They are funny, agreed, but after a while the joke wears thin and I find myself simply sad that, as you said Misfit, what should b..."

Sadly, I haven't seen it dimmed. Everyone is STILL reading it on the plane, but, I am only being asked about 4 times a day if I've read it verse 6-7.


Misfit I just don't get it. I still say this is like the Emperor's New Clothes.


message 46: by Isis (new)

Isis Couldn't have put it better, Misfit.


message 47: by [deleted user] (new)

When in the waiting room, I read a comment by one of the celebrities (I think it was seacrest's girlfriend) that more men should be reading it. I thought, 'Thank god more men aren't.' They'd start wondering if that's the way women really want to be treated, if millions if our our gender are loving it. Screw the self-worth, respect and equal treatment shit,, right? Tragically, that would be a logical conclusion.


Misfit Lila wrote: "When in the waiting room, I read a comment by one of the celebrities (I think it was seacrest's girlfriend) that more men should be reading it. I thought, 'Thank god more men aren't.' They'd start ..."

That is too terrifying to even think about. I just don't understand why women think this is sexy and romantic. He beat her, and he did it over some trivial transgression and before she'd agreed to be his submissive. That is abuse, it is batter, it is a crime. Period.


message 49: by Jane (new)

Jane It is rather strange that after 100+ years of women fighting to make themselves equal with men, to take away a man's power to control women to the point of beating, raping or killing them, the female of the species seems determined to crawl back into the cage. We need a new generation of feminist influencers.


message 50: by Rebecca (new) - added it

Rebecca Huston Jane -- YES! I think that in many ways we've regressed in the last couple of decades. There are still inequalities, and I find the continual degradation of women in the media to be appalling. After years of emotional, physical and sexual abuse by my ex, I resolved that never again would anyone ever touch me without permission, and thank god, I've made it stick. Oh the BDSM game is great in fantasy, but the reality of it is much much different. After all, if you break your toys, you can't play with them...


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