Vanessa’s Reviews > Pirates! in an Adventure with Scientists > Status Update

Vanessa
Vanessa is on page 172 of 199
"What about monkeys? They're always climbing up tall buildings! How about it, Mister Bobo?" Said the Pirate Captain, giving him an encouraging slap on his hairy back.


Mister Bobo chose his cards carefully.


"No. F*!$%ing. Way." The monkey signed.
Apr 15, 2012 01:59PM
Pirates! in an Adventure with Scientists

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Vanessa
Vanessa is on page 190 of 199
Comprehension Exercise


4. Apart from Brian Blessed, who do you think should play the Pirate Captain if they were to ever make a movie of this book?



You know, even though I've seen the movie (with Hugh Grant as the voice of the Pirate Captain), I've been reading him with Brian Blessed's voice all this time.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YP11L9...

Apr 15, 2012 02:40PM
Pirates! in an Adventure with Scientists


Vanessa
Vanessa is on page 190 of 199
"We'll find an uninhabited island someplace," said the Pirate Captain, "and then we'll maroon you. It's the pirate way."


"I don't much like the sound of that." [The Bishop of Oxford.]


"Oh, it's not so bad. For some reason Pirate Law says you're allowed to take a few records. And the odd book. I think it's eight of each."



This book is amazing.
Apr 15, 2012 02:33PM
Pirates! in an Adventure with Scientists


Vanessa
Vanessa is on page 187 of 199
There are several seafaring superstitions. It is widely believed that redheads bring bad luck to a ship, though this can be averted if you speak to the redhead before they speak to you. Flat-footed people are also considered best avoided, as is dark-coloured luggage.


Oh poo! I'm redheaded and flatfooted. And a woman. So I can't join this awesome pirate crew. Sob sob.

Apr 15, 2012 02:23PM
Pirates! in an Adventure with Scientists


Vanessa
Vanessa is on page 179 of 199
The Pirate Captain had been expecting to smash right through the gigantic glass clock face, thereby making one of his famously dramatic entrances, but he just slapped against it with a sound like a side of beef hitting a chopping board, and slowly began to slide down in a daze. Luckily the Pirate Captain had the presence of mind to grab at the huge cast iron minute hand, and there he hung, his coat-tails flapping.
Apr 15, 2012 02:14PM
Pirates! in an Adventure with Scientists


Vanessa
Vanessa is on page 178 of 199
"If none of you lubbers will volunteer, we'll have to settle this the old pirate way."


The crew looked deathly serious - the Pirate Captain could only mean one thing!


A few moments later, the albino pirate took a deep breath, counted to 3, and held out his clenched fist. He tried to look apologetic, but a grin spread across his face.


"Sorry, Captain. Pirate stone blunts your pirate scissors."
Apr 15, 2012 02:09PM
Pirates! in an Adventure with Scientists


Vanessa
Vanessa is on page 172 of 199
"What about monkeys? They're always climbing up tall buildings! How about it, Mister Bobo?" Said the Pirate Captain, giving him an encouraging slap on his hairy back.


Mister Bobo chose his cards carefully.


"No. F*!$%ing. Way." The monkey signed.
Apr 15, 2012 01:59PM
Pirates! in an Adventure with Scientists


Vanessa
Vanessa is on page 161 of 199
The Bishop had a whole armful of trilobites and was flinging them at the Pirate Captain like prehistoric discuses. The Captain did his best to bat them away with his cutlass.


"Stop throwing trilobites at me!" Shouted the Pirate Captain, because it was the only thing he could think of to say, given the situation.
Apr 15, 2012 01:53PM
Pirates! in an Adventure with Scientists


Vanessa
Vanessa is on page 157 of 199
"That's not the Holy Ghost," snorted the Bishop dismissively.


"Yes it is!" Said the Pirate Captain, a bit put-out. "Look how tall he is! And he's covered in a big sheet! Just like it describes him in the Bible."


"The Bible says nothing of the kind. Where on earth did you get the idea that the Holy Ghost is a giant? He's the same size as Jesus. That's the point - he's a creepier version of Christ."
Apr 15, 2012 01:49PM
Pirates! in an Adventure with Scientists


Vanessa
Vanessa is on page 138 of 199
"You must have noticed how whenever there's a lady on board the Captain always disappears into his cabin with her for a while, and afterwards, he tells us he was teaching her how to tie knots. Between you and me, I think he must tell funny anecdotes at the same time, because often I've heard a lot of giggling. But that's not to say the Captain doesn't take it seriously - he often comes out exhausted."
Apr 15, 2012 01:36PM
Pirates! in an Adventure with Scientists


Vanessa
Vanessa is on page 125 of 199
"You're no lady!" Said the Bishop with a scowl. "In fact, these test results suggest you're a pirate! Goodness knows what you've done to my machine. It's only designed to work with ladies aged nineteen to twenty-six. You've probably invalidated my warranty, you lousy bum."
Apr 15, 2012 01:16PM
Pirates! in an Adventure with Scientists


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