Wendi's updates

Wendi's updates http://www.goodreads.com/user/updates_rss/844658 en-US Wed, 23 Jul 2008 13:59:11 -0700 60 Wendi's updates http://www.goodreads.com/ 200 41 http://www.goodreads.com/images/layout/gr_logo.gif 32401592 Wed, 23 Jul 2008 13:59:11 -0700 Comment1298552 <![CDATA[new comment from Wendi]]> http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/14109659 Lunasea's review of Escape
by Carolyn Jessop

It's also annoying that she constanty refers to her husband and Jeffs (and one sister wife in particular) as abusive, which certainly appears to be true, but then acts incredulous again and again when they do something abusive.

You totally nailed that! It's like she'd write one sentence and then two paragraphs later write the exact same sentence again and act as if it was a brand new revelation for her and us! Omg, Merrill's beating the kids. Omg, Merrill's beating the kids, I'm so surprised!

The story is sad but the writing is grating on my nerves. ]]> 32400829 Wed, 23 Jul 2008 13:55:40 -0700 Comment1298514 <![CDATA[new comment from Wendi]]> http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/9373950 Collette's review of Escape
by Carolyn Jessop

I agree with a librarian reviewer on Amazon.com that the book was poorly edited (by Stacy Kramer, who interviewed the author at the end of the audio edition) and that the author seemed to portray herself as a victimized saint.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks this. This book had a lot of flaws. I though it seemed to be written by a junior high school girl. Kind of like, "OMG! You won't believe what happened to me!" at times. Of course I feel terrible about what happened to her, but how much of what she's written is true? ]]> 32400616 Wed, 23 Jul 2008 13:54:39 -0700 Rating670495 <![CDATA[Wendi Miller voted on a review]]> http://www.goodreads.com/

Wendi read and liked Collette's review of Escape:

"With all of the press about the raid on the YFZ ranch in El Dorado, Texas, I couldn't wait to get my hands on a copy of this book. Riveting, interesting in places, but hard to listen to (audio edition) for various reasons. I wish I had read a hardc...more With all of the press about the raid on the YFZ ranch in El Dorado, Texas, I couldn't wait to get my hands on a copy of this book. Riveting, interesting in places, but hard to listen to (audio edition) for various reasons. I wish I had read a hardcopy of the book instead so I could have skimmed some of the sections where the author seemed more whiny about her suffering than informative. I agree with a librarian reviewer on Amazon.com that the book was poorly edited (by Stacy Kramer, who interviewed the author at the end of the audio edition) and that the author seemed to portray herself as a victimized saint. She was certainly victimized, but no one is a saint. I wish she had been a bit more even-handed about her own flaws and probed more deeply into the reasons it took her so long to flee from her husband. (She has stressed in various interviews that this life was "all she had ever known," but she attened college, worked as a teacher, and at times ran both an Internet business and a hotel, so she had a great deal more exposure to the outside world than your average FLDS woman). Some comments in sections of the book seemed repetitive, and when describing the actions of one of the characters, the wrong name was used at least once. I can't understand how such an obvious flaw would slip by both the editor and the performer who read the novel.

All this said, there is no doubt that Ms. Jessop and her children were abused during their years in the FLDS. If only half of what Ms. Jessop wrote in her book is actually true, she painted a very dark picture of a disturbed and dangerous cult and the great damage that it has done to numerous women and children (and men too). She painted Merril Jessop, her ex-husband, as an emotionally abusive monster (he was always "outraged" and "furious") and it seemed that only one positive comment was ever uttered by him (about her housekeeping skills) in regard to Ms. Jessop. Although I agree that he abused her and his children terribly, his portrayal seemed very one-dimensional and more could have been written about his background and motivations. However, having read this book in addition to other testimonies of escaped FLDS members, knowing that the Southern Poverty Law Center classifies this cult as a hate group because of the teachings of Warren Jeffs, and having read about the various crimes that Warren Jeffs and others have committed in this cult, I now believe that the state of Texas was absolutely justified in removing the children from the YFZ ranch -- and I hope that not a single one is returned to their brainwashed parents (who incidentally, are now being led by Merril Jessop in the absence of Warren Jeffs).

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]]> 32400231 Wed, 23 Jul 2008 13:51:30 -0700 Comment1298459 <![CDATA[new comment from Wendi]]> http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/24993594 Laura's review of Escape
by Carolyn Jessop

I think your review is absolutely wonderful and I applaud you for stepping out and introducing yourself to these women.

I can't help but wonder how "true" of a book it is. I don't want to believe that there was motivation to make things up as the truth seems dramatic enough. Did Carolyn ever abuse her children or the other wives kids? It seems likely that she would, coming from such an abusive mother, but she paints herself in a favorable light, as is expected.

I agree completely. She keeps talking about the abuse, often repeating things over and over and I wonder just how much of this is true. I guess we'll never know. I should also thank my lucky stars that I have the parents and husband that I have - that I was brought up with free will and that my relationships are loving and supportive.
]]> 32400019 Wed, 23 Jul 2008 13:49:45 -0700 Rating670473 <![CDATA[Wendi Miller voted on a review]]> http://www.goodreads.com/

Wendi read and liked Laura's review of Escape:

"I sat up til 2 A.M. finishing this book. It was an intense experience. It made me grieve for the inequities in my own culture between men and women along with the fear that holds me down.

Having lived near Colorado City, reading this book made me...more I sat up til 2 A.M. finishing this book. It was an intense experience. It made me grieve for the inequities in my own culture between men and women along with the fear that holds me down.

Having lived near Colorado City, reading this book made me look back on my experience living in St. George, Utah with new eyes. I attended Dixie College in the mid 1980's. There had been a girl in my Spanish class who wore the "plig" uniform and did her hair in the dippidy-doo flip. She was ostracized by most of the students but I determined to make friends with her. At first she was curt and guarded but eventually she opened up enough to have a casual friendship. We often walked to or from class together and I learned about her family. She had several younger siblings and spoke of them with love. When I married over a year later I gave my entire stuffed animal collection to Veronica for her little brother and sisters. She was so grateful that her eyes misted over and I somehow knew stuffed animals were a foreign item in her world. She and her family made a beautiful hand-stitched quilt for my wedding gift. I still have it 24 years later. They sewed an image of the St. George Temple onto a silky pink background. Because of the silkiness of the fabric it is one of my children's favorite quilts to cuddle in. I have tried my best to keep it out of the reach of dirty little hands over the years. It is the only wedding gift in tact and I think of Veronica whenever I see it.

I'm glad I reached out to lonely Veronica in my College days at Dixie and realized she was likely going through something similar to Carolyn. I wondered if Veronica was the third or fourth wife to some old guy or was she sent to college because she was plain and would likely never marry.

As an adult I lived in St. George for three years between 2003 and 2006. I saw polygamists at Wal-Mart every time I went there. I was disturbed by my own reaction to them. Having lived all over the U.S. I was aware of how limited the perspective of people who stayed in one place their whole lives can be. Yet I still looked at them as "lesser" individuals. Because I was so disturbed by my own inner hateful response to this people, I decided to learn more about them. I met a woman who had written a book and was actively helping girls escape. She was selling her books at a booth at the county fair. She was putting her life on the line by speaking out and I was impressed.

I wrote a speech on her service and invited her to attend the toastmasters meeting when I gave the presentation. I called her the "Harriet Tubman" of Colorado City.

In my speech I compared the polygamists with the Jews of Europe during the Nazi era. Looking at this group of God's children with compassion and understanding changed how I saw them completely. It had been many years since my friendship with Veronica and I had to overcome my own feelings of inadequacy as a woman to not judge them for living in such a bizarre culture. It was after recognizing their value as individuals that I started up conversations with the women I saw in Wal-Mart. I was aware they had been told that the rest of us were "evil" but I knew they were just struggling mothers like the rest of us. I began greeting them with a smile and "hello". I still avoided the men completely, even gave them the evil eye if my teenaged daughters were with me.

I came up with ways of starting conversations with the women. I asked one mother if she thought the sore on my son's head could be chickenpox. At first she balked but we ended up having a regular conversation and she gave me advice on dealing with the childhood illness. Often, if I was in an isle and a Colorado City woman was nearby I would comment on products that were sold and probably sounded like a bad commercial as I searched for ways to reach out and connect. My goal was to help these women recognize that the rest of us were human too.

Whenever I saw the little polygamist boys working on construction sights I would call the phone number advertized on trucks and signs and complain to whoever answered that there are child labor laws and I would report children working to the police if I saw it again. I was especially repulsed by the "lost boys" and grieved over the stories of male prostitution and drug use.

This book brought home the reality and horror of being brainwashed and the dangers of living in a completely controlled environment. I can't help but wonder how "true" of a book it is. I don't want to believe that there was motivation to make things up as the truth seems dramatic enough. Did Carolyn ever abuse her children or the other wives kids? It seems likely that she would, coming from such an abusive mother, but she paints herself in a favorable light, as is expected.

I was amazed at her determination to get educated and her ability to recognize that it was the only way out. I was so saddened at the end when her daughter returns to the cult and would love to know the rest of the story.

It also made me think of Veronica and wonder where and how she is.
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]]> 32399361 Wed, 23 Jul 2008 13:45:52 -0700 Review24105552 <![CDATA[Wendi added 'Escape']]> http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/24105552

to: Escape (Hardcover) by Carolyn Jessop
The only really important impression I have from reading this book is: How much of Carolyn Jessop's story is actually true?

Yes, we know that the FLDS (not to be confused with LDS) church practices polygamy, that women are often married at a very young age, and that the families often have dozens of children. We know that the women are taught to obey their Preisthood Head, the husband, and that any talk, belief, action that is not in complete agreement with the husband is considered rebellious and the woman risks salvation and a place in heaven.

The book starts to lose it's credibility, for me anyway, as Carolyn describes the actual amount of abuse that went on in the Colorado City community. Babies being thrown across rooms. Mothers being beaten black and blue. Children being kicked across classrooms by the principal. It just seems that with that amount of abuse, that someone would have either died and/or the authorities would have eventually stepped in. Of course, Carolyn says that all the local police were all FLDS members and believed that anyone being abused was being beaten as her/his punishment for disobeying God.

Maybe the book loses credibility because it seems as if Ms. Jessop couldn't write about anything else. The book seems stretched for content. Sentences are repeated in a new chapter after first being written in a previous chapter as if the sentence was a brand new revelation for the reader.

Ms. Jessop makes her sister wives and the FLDS community in general seem obsessed with sex, who's getting it and who isn't. She says there is little unity between sister wives (women all married to the same man) and that they all jockey for his attentions and affections.

While the story she tells pulls at your heart strings, I do think it would be good for the reader to read this with the idea that this is completely told by Ms. Jessop's perspective.

The writing is poor. Very, very poor. Basic elementary writing. I guess this is to be able to draw any reader at any level to this book. At times, the writing seems almost like a junior high school girl's diary. In one chapter, Ms. Jessop declares to know what happens to another girl who is not a friend of hers (one of the "nusses") at a parent teacher conference. In my experience, parent teacher conferences were confidentital between the parent and the teacher, not the student's friends. How could Ms. Jessop possibly know what happened? Sure, someone may have told her what happened during the meeting, but how do we know it's the truth? Ms. Jessop makes it clear time and time again that the women and men in the FLDS community are not known for their trust worthiness as they often lie to each other about their neighbors and families so that his or her family may become more important in the community.

If you are dead set on reading this book, get it from the library. Don't pay any money for it, not even at a garage sale. ]]> 31715684 Thu, 17 Jul 2008 14:42:00 -0700 Comment1247518 <![CDATA[new comment from Wendi]]> http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/27477859 Tina's review of English as a Second Language
by Megan Crane

I'm going to totally read this book. I love fluff books in the summer! ]]> 31431516 Tue, 15 Jul 2008 13:26:54 -0700 Review27338238 <![CDATA[Wendi added 'The Emperor's Children']]> http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/27338238

to: The Emperor's Children (Hardcover) by Claire Messud
This book could not be more pretentious. By the time I was finished with it, my brain felt like mud, which is exactly what it felt like to read - trudging through mud.

The characters...sheesh, the characters. There's not one single redeeming quality among them. All of them are so self-absorbed, so blind to each other, so completely in love with his or herself that after awhile you begin to wonder what the point is of reading this book. I kept trying to figure out who the emperor was, then I realized that they are all followers. None of them has the sense to realize that whoever it is that they are following that day - that's the emporer that is running around naked and they have chosen to not wear his or her clothes too.

But that's just semantics. Is that what we're supposed to take from this book? That many of us are all followers tripping along doing whatever anyone tells us to do? That's a pretty pretentious statement from the author. Then again, after you've read the fifth sentence in the book and it's the fifth time that you're being smacked by parentheses, commas, semi colons, colons, more paretheses, sentences within sentences! Oy vey!

The characters are not well defined. They are all overly flawed. Marina is a 2D charicature of Paris Hilton. Danielle is a stuck up, pretentious, know it all. Murray is a combination of Oprah, Barbara Walters, Larry King and Dan Rather - just telling the people what they want to hear without an original thought to his brain. Julius is every gay man written by a New York socialite "author". Silly, flamboyant, teetering on the verge of joblessness, and a prostitute/coke fiend. (A good deal of the gay men I know are nothing like this. Maybe it's a New York Gay Man thing, I don't know.)

The only interesting character is "Bootie", the Thwaite's nephew. But quickly I became rather bored of his entitlement issues, his holier than thou/smarter than everyone attitude and lazy ways. Yes, no one wants to have to work but no one wants a fat ass taking up their time and space as well. I had high hopes for his character but he turned out just like everyone else - a disappointment.

I was honestly angry and disappointed when I got done reading this book. I thought, "hey, finally someone is writing a book about people like me searching for their life's ambition and purpose." Could not be farther from the truth! It's almost as if the author was completely out of touch with her audience, unless her audience was Paris and Nicole wannabes. ]]> 31431624 Tue, 15 Jul 2008 13:11:27 -0700 Comment1226166 <![CDATA[new comment from Wendi]]> http://www.goodreads.com/topic/show_book/15382.Painful Wendi made a comment on The Emperor's Children:

I completely, completely agree with your statement. ]]> 31431323 Tue, 15 Jul 2008 13:09:26 -0700 Review27338084 <![CDATA[Wendi added 'Cross Bones']]> http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/27338084

to: Cross Bones (Temperance Brennan Novels) by Kathy Reichs
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