bookshelves: culture, currently-reading, non-fiction, voluntary-simplicity
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bookshelves: currently-reading, non-fiction, politics, psychology, self-help
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bookshelves: culture, economics, non-fiction
This book helps you be more intentional about what kind of Christmas you create, focusing on what truly matters. It's a much-needed re-evaluation now that the holiday has become so obscenely commercialized. It includes a lot of tips for families to spend less time and money on Christmas so they can focus on what really matters to them. Unfortunately, I didn't get much from this book. It was mostly aimed at families, for one thing. Most of what it offers aren't all that insightful, but it is good to skim to get you on the right track. ]]>
bookshelves: currently-reading, non-fiction, philosophy, psychology, self-help
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bookshelves: culture, non-fiction, psychology
This book could be called "the tao of masculinity." It tries to be a celebration of the masculine, its polar antagonism with the feminine which author David Deida believes is important for sexual and spiritual growth. Much of its advice is the combination of a watered-down version of tantra and the standard spiritual cliches like being fully present and remaining devoted to our life's mission. I had high hopes for this book because it was recommended by multiple people. Maybe that's why I was so disappointed.
This book tries to teach men to reclaim their "divine masculinity." It assumes the reader has already overcome his traditional gender roles, which seems extremely presumptuous. Gender roles run very deep, and it's harder for us to shake them off than we may think. This is especially true for men, who are traditionally conditioned to be very proud of their accomplishments. The result, I suspect, is that the ideas in this book would serve to make readers even more entrenched in their old gender roles. Gender roles are primarily biological and cultural, both of which are hard to overcome, but to portray them as spiritual, as this book does, makes them seem eternal. The spiritual talk in this book is very thick, often to the point of being a meaningless string of new age buzzwords.
Rather than celebrating a balanced masculinity, this book seems to be celebrating patriarchy and misogyny, which I just can't get behind. This book often talks of overpowering women, physically, economically, and spiritually, though lovingly, and that even when women protest, they're really secretly wanting it and just testing the resolve of their men. This book portrays women as scatterbrained and directionless, and even claims that if a woman starts to look for her own direction rather than look to her man for it, then that is a failure of the man, who is not proving to his masculine strength to his woman. These are very problematic and dangerous gender dynamics that need to be ended, not celebrated.
I did like that this book addresses several aspects of masculinity that I have long sought explanations and guidance for. It was refreshing to see that I'm not the only one who struggles with these things, even if the advice it gave was deflating. All the advice it gives for every issue is some variation of, "suck it up. Learn to deal with your suffering without complaint, because that's what being a man is all about." ]]>
bookshelves: currently-reading, non-fiction, politics
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Bill
added a quote:
"Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need." — Marshall Rosenberg
"Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need." — Marshall Rosenberg
Bill
added a quote:
"A sect or party is an elegant incognito devised to save a man from the vexation of thinking." — Ralph Waldo Emerson
"A sect or party is an elegant incognito devised to save a man from the vexation of thinking." — Ralph Waldo Emerson
by Ayn Rand
This is exactly the reaction I have to her books, which I have read for the same reason you have, and reached the same conclusions as well as the one big lack of conclusion about why so many people are drawn to her. I did end up understanding this better after having a lengthy conversation with someone who used to be a big follower of Rand.
Basically, her writing makes perfect sense and provides desperately needed explanations to those who feel scorned by their society, particularly its government and the "masses" it governs. Rand not only justifies their resentment and resulting selfish impulses, but downright celebrates it. This can be very compelling and therapeutic for such people. I realized I probably would have been a follower of Rand had I discovered her in high school instead of Ralph Waldo Emerson, who touted a similar philosophy as Rand, but with the elements Rand is missing: community, compassion, liberalism, and spirituality.
Thanks for the excellent Slate article! ]]>