"All this happened, more or less."
— Kurt Vonnegut (Slaughterhouse-Five)

"Did you ever want to set someone's head on fire, just to see what it looked like? Did you ever stand in the street and think to yourself, I could make that nun go blind just by giving her a kiss? Did you ever lay out plans for stitching babies and stray cats into a Perfect New Human? Did you ever stand naked surrounded by people who want your gleaming sperm, squirting frankincense, soma and testosterone from every pore? If so, then you're the bastard who stole my drugs Friday night. And I'll find you. Oh, yes."
— Warren Ellis (Transmetropolitan Vol. 5: Lonely City)

"If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library. "
— Frank Zappa

"I just saved your fucking life, Mom. . . . You could at least offer me an Oreo."
— Neal Stephenson (Snow Crash)