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June 05
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New comment on Msmeemee's review of
The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate
(see all 3 comments)
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November 02
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Msmeemee
gave
to:
Smashed: Story of a Drunken Girlhood (Paperback)
by Koren Zailckas
bookshelves:
biographies,
psychology
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my rating:
Added to my books!
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recommended for: anyone who's spoken the word "alcohol"
read in November, 2007
Msmeemee said:
"when it comes to memoirs, i can't really critique the content only because it's about someone's real-life experiences. but i can critique the delivery. plain and simple, i love koren's writing style. it's easy to read yet vivid and insightful. i thin...more
when it comes to memoirs, i can't really critique the content only because it's about someone's real-life experiences. but i can critique the delivery. plain and simple, i love koren's writing style. it's easy to read yet vivid and insightful. i think so many girls and young women can relate to her experiences, it's a validation of being female in this society and the relationship females develop with alcohol as a way to cope with the pressure. plus, as someone in the psychology field, it's a good resource for clinicians who work with individuals that abuse alcohol or for clinicians who aren't familiar with these issues and need a first-hand account of what alcohol abuse is like. five stars.
EDIT: after reading some of the other readers' comments, i have a couple things i'd like to address. a lot of people say that the storyline isn't interesting. i guess with a memoir, it's more about the author's willingness to make herself vulnerable to a wider audience than it is about an interesting story. even though her experiences with alcohol are common, her motivations for drinking are of key importance because they are actually symptoms of a society that places men and women in very rigid boxes. if you're looking for pure entertainment, look elsewhere.
other readers thought she was a whiny, spoiled brat from a good background. this doesn't make someone exempt from having their own internalized demons. other readers commented on her immaturity as a writer and as someone recovering from alcohol abuse. there was no resolution and some were not satisfied with her level of insight about her own abuse. did anyone stop to think that perhaps writing this memoir is part of her recovery process? and as far a resolution, there is no concrete, static resolution to substance abuse. recovery is an ongoing process. and some people don't ever recover fully. if your relationship to a substance is that binding, it can be difficult to completely let go of the abuser mindset.
i think we as an audience can learn a lot about alcohol abuse by our very reactions. a lot of people had no sympathy for the author. in my eyes, i think this exhibits society's relative indifference and lack of compassion for those who are struggling with personal issues and how alcohol and other substances can be a life jacket if only in the short-run. there was one comment about how the author's abuse was everyone's fault but her own. personally, i did not get that, but if that was the general feeling about her, it's an honest portrayal of people who abuse substances. i was especially appalled by one reader's comment about date rape and how the author should've known she would be raped if she hung out in frat houses all the time. in a way, this comment is enraging yet enlightening at the same time. and i think this is where the book is brilliant; it draws out all the biases, all the stereotypes, the myths, the victim-blaming attitudes, and our overall lack of understanding regarding substance abuse that still pervade our society. and i think it's fantastic that the author wrote the book shortly after trying to abstain; her feelings and insecurities are still fresh and we can experience that right along with her. it gives us a perspective of someone who is struggling to find herself without her alcoholic crutch....less
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New comment on Brendan's review of
Smashed: Story of a Drunken Girlhood
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New comment on Jeremy's review of
Smashed: Story of a Drunken Girlhood
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New comment on Laura's review of
Smashed: Story of a Drunken Girlhood
(see all 2 comments)
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October 29
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Msmeemee
marked as to-read:
Beautiful Stranger: A Memoir of an Obsession with Perfection (Paperback)
by Hope Donahue
bookshelves:
feminism,
psychology,
to-read
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my rating:
Added to my books!
add my review
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Msmeemee
gave
to:
The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate (Paperback)
by Gary Chapman
bookshelves:
psychology
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my rating:
Added to my books!
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recommended for: suckers
read in October, 2007
Msmeemee said:
"this book is a tool through which the author, gary chapman, can play out his jesus-complex disguised as a relationship self-help book. there are references from the bible throughout almost every chapter and gary likes to include generous praise from ...more
this book is a tool through which the author, gary chapman, can play out his jesus-complex disguised as a relationship self-help book. there are references from the bible throughout almost every chapter and gary likes to include generous praise from his clients who call him a "miracle worker." it's damn-near pretty close to being called god.
the book has all the hallmarks of a bestseller: easy to read (i read it in one day); hopeless circumstances that seem beyond repair; and an uplifiting ending. the more bestsellers i read, the more i realize that the formula for mainstream media isn't just used in music and movies, it's used in books, too. ugh, how annoying. i admit, i was almost sold on it, too. the author used just the right amount of despair and at the appropriate moments, instilled hope for a better future. and while hope isn't bad at all, the book lacks in addressing the complexity of relationships as well as the diversity of relationships in today's world. for example, this book may not translate well in multicultural relationships that are dictated by a whole different set of mores and values. also, i wonder how it would be relevant to queer couples or polyamourous relationships. it's quite apparent that this book is meant for hetero-white-christian-monogamous couples.
but the one major caveat of this book that isn't so much a caveat as a poorly disguised advocate of misogyny, is the case of a woman who has been abused (what type of abuse has been perpetrated isn't made explicit and gary's reluctance to do so makes me suspicious of how the church deals with issues of domestic violence). gary's advice? dismiss any of your own feelings of discomfort (being used for sex) and have sex with your husband as an act of love and hope that he will reciprocate that love. and what i don't understand is how people have overlooked this, even people who are in the psychology field. that's one thing he doesn't really address, how to identify your limits and make compromises. if you can't see the problem with this picture, i pray you never get married. or have a relationship. or speak to people.
the gender roles in this book are fucking archaic. there's this little section where gary talks about the gender differences in sexual desire. according to him, these differences are all physiologically based. men simply have more tension built-up as a result of massive sperm generation whereas women don't, and that is why women don't crave sex the way men do. instead, women only want sex if their men meet their emotional needs. what, do men not need to have their emotional needs met? are they really just fucking animals who want to empty their over-spermed dicks? why don't they just jack off into a toilet for crying out loud? oops, am i not supposed to mention masturbation in the presence of god? and gary makes women seem like fucking prudes from the latest harlequin romance, the christian edition. gag. this man has very little knowledge of couples outside the realm of christian folklore.
his section on physical touch made me laugh. i wasn't sure if the lame attempts at humor were to assuage his own discomfort or that of his audience. yes, gary, people have sex. i understand that when you tell me to rub my partner's leg with my foot that i should make sure i'm not rubbing the dog. harhar.
to be fair, he touched on the basic fundamentals of communication with your partner, but i can hardly call this book revolutionary. his book on the five languages of love for children sound more useful just because the developmental stage they are in matches the dumbed-down tone of the book. you'd think he was writing for couples who were born in a vaccuum.
i'm so over reading new york times bestsellers. we've been brainwashed into accepting that the typical mainstream formula is quality literature. i prefer real talk to fluffy shit, thank you....less
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October 23
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Msmeemee
gave
to:
Water for Elephants (Paperback)
by Sara Gruen
bookshelves:
classic-lit
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my rating:
Added to my books!
add my review
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recommended for: modern flappers and circus freaks
read in October, 2007
Msmeemee said:
"i'll be honest with you. i loved this book because i had no high expectations of it even though it is on the bestseller list. i'm also a biased consumer; i love the flapper era and dark comedies. this book is a perfect combination of the two. and the...more
i'll be honest with you. i loved this book because i had no high expectations of it even though it is on the bestseller list. i'm also a biased consumer; i love the flapper era and dark comedies. this book is a perfect combination of the two. and the fact that it takes place in a circus is such a unique setting to me. i love how the author intertwines the elderly protagonist's current situation with his younger self's experiences working in the circus. the perspective you get of the elderly community is also a unique lesson and one i wasn't expecting to get. lastly, there is a neat little twist that i found really cool. the author could teach hosseini how to use surprise sparingly.
however, i would give it 3.5 stars instead of 4 because of two things. 1: the characters are stereotypical, so it lacks creativity in that area. like "kite runner," it makes for an awesome movie script, though. the ending was pretty unlikely, too. but that's what hollywood is made of. i still love it anyway, because i think i've had a dream like this before. 2: i don't like how they portray the character with paranoid schizophrenia. they make it seem as though he was psycho because of his illness. granted, people back then understood much less about schizophrenia than we do now, but it's an unfair portrayal just the same....less
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October 18
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Msmeemee
marked as to-read:
Lolita (Penguin Modern Classics)
by Vladimir Nabokov
bookshelves:
classic-lit,
humansexuality,
psychology,
to-read
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my rating:
Added to my books!
add my review
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