Chris’s Profile

94 ratings (2.71 avg)
93 reviews
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Chris is Currently Reading

Chris is currently reading

Dubliners

by James Joyce

bookshelves: currently-reading

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Jan 01, 2010 09:13am

Chris is currently reading

World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War

by Max Brooks (Goodreads Author)

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Jan 01, 2010 09:09am

Chris is currently reading

The Eleven Thousand Rods

by Guillaume Apollinaire

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Jan 01, 2010 09:01am

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Chris's Recent Updates

Chris is now friends with Lorrinda Baia

Mar 24, 2013 02:22pm · like

Chris is currently reading

Dubliners
by James Joyce

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Jan 01, 2010 09:13am

Chris liked Rob's review of World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War:

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

Jan 01, 2010 09:11am · see review

Chris liked Jeff's review of Slan:

" [written in my book lover's journal; possibly a couple months after reading it]
Aghast that people acclaim Van Vogt at all, in any way, even a little bit. "Jommy"?! for fvck's sake "Vee Vee," think of something that actually smacks of a futurity --... " Read more of this review »

Jan 01, 2010 09:07am · see review

Chris made a comment on Jeff's review of Slan

"You said it, brother.

I wish I'd read your review instead of this book.
"

Jan 01, 2010 09:07am · see review

Chris took the Never-Ending Book Quiz

questions answered:	1
correct:	1 (100.0%)
skipped:	0
best streak:	1
questions added:	0

Jan 01, 2010 09:00am · like · beat his score

Chris made a comment in the group Challenge: 50 Books — Chris' 2009 List topic

"I’m hoping 2009 was just a sophomore slump for my goodreads participation; a lot of unexpected things kept me from reading often, and probably reviewe...more "

Jan 01, 2010 08:53am

Chris liked Tyler 's review of Tropic of Cancer:

" The mashup of the poetic and the vulgar sets this book apart in a way that sometimes annoys and more often hits the spot. Miller gets modernist stream-of-consciousness to work cleverly through the trash-talk. Though I can’t tell you how hard it wa... " Read more of this review »

Nov 04, 2009 09:53pm · see review

Chris rated a book 3 of 5 stars

Time Patrolman
by Poul Anderson

read in May, 2009

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Sometimes, I find that a book can be a welcome surprise because the blurb on the back doesn’t nearly do justice explaining the story within, and I wonder why they couldn’t have spent a little more time to accurately describe its awesomeness to move m...more Sometimes, I find that a book can be a welcome surprise because the blurb on the back doesn’t nearly do justice explaining the story within, and I wonder why they couldn’t have spent a little more time to accurately describe its awesomeness to move more copies and assist in enlightening the world. Time Patrolman wisely avoids that dread failure, but unfortunately veers into rocky territory by having a synopsis which left me completely perplexed. This summary promises a story of a member of the Time Patrol named Odin the Goth, who suffers the tragedy of loving a woman in the epoch he is assigned to protect, but is unable to rescue her from the terrible fate he knows she is destined for, due to his sworn duty to keep the events of the past inviolate. This seems pretty simple, but just you wait.

Also complicating matters is the fact I’m a Time Patrolman myself, currently on vacation in October 2009, but next week I’ll be going back in time to this previous May, at which time I shall read this book, and also to tie up some loose ends from a previous assignment gone wrong.

When I get about a quarter of the way through this book, I’ll wonder if the wrong cover had been put on my copy, sure the story will involve a Time Patrolman, but his name is going to be Manse Everard, and he’s going to be stationed in Phoenicia circa 950BC (where/when Goth activity is obviously minimal), and instead of being involved in a juicy love affair tempting his loyalty to the Patrol, he’ll relentless pursue Merau Varagan, a power-obsessed bandit hell-bent on changing the course of history for his own destructive purposes, in this case, to attack Jewish history at its nexus in Tyre.

This doesn’t mean that the story which I will actually get won’t progress decently or hold my interest, it’ll just be vastly different than my expectations, which I think is understandable in these circumstances. This switcheroo may initially do a disservice to my opinion of the book as there’s only one parallel I’m going to make with this shady bait-and-switch, and it’s a painful memory (it still is now and will be then). The little lady and I were purchasing some porn videos, and she wisely opted for “Jail Whores” (which delivered in accordance to its simple, but honest, title) whereas I went with “Brunette Cocksuckers Gone Wild”, which was so low-budget that the studio ran out of brunettes by the third scene and began tossing blondes and other undesirables into the mix. As both a proud grown-up and staunch optimist, I can cope with these sorts of disappointments and find the silver lining hiding somewhere on this cloud; it still contained a stunning variety of fellatio, so all wasn’t completely for naught. I shall eventually say the same for the illustrious Poul Andersen’s Time Patrolman, sure, it won’t be quite what I’ll want, but it will still include time-travel and a badass who’ll guard the continuity of the past while beset by devastating misfortunes. My biggest surprise will be the revelation that this plot will start seeming more promising than the sappy-sounding shit initially offered, plus, I either have or will read Ken Grimwood’s Replay (can’t recall which) and still don’t see the need for anything challenging that as my favorite time-travel/heartbreaking-romance.

Befuddled beyond belief, I’ll soon be taken for another dizzying turn; Time Patrolman will surprisingly contain two stories (the book won’t mention this fact anywhere, and it’s going to wallop me square in the testes with sledgehammer force), the second of which will involve the saga of love-stricken Odin the Goth. I’m going to hoot a few times in merriment upon discovering this, despite the staggering blow recently delivered to my aching nads, before silently giving Poul Andersen mad props for being a crafty cur.

The coupling of these two stories is going to seem relatively strange initially, they’ll have very little in common (Patrolman Everard will return in the second story, in a supervisory role to the Patrolman who’ll become Odin the Goth, Carl Farness) and the writing styles will differ as the first shall be presented in the third person and the second is going to alternate between first and third person. The first tale’s gonna be a straightforward action tale in which Everard will immerse himself in Phoenician society in order to better thwart his nemesis, while occasionally providing some insight into the history and laws of time travel, which won’t be incredibly exceptional; I’ll learn that when the technology to move freely in time was discovered by mankind, a group of time-travelers (called the Danellians) from their distant future were on hand (this was the Time Patrol supervising this pivotal breakthrough) to make sure this power wasn’t abused and to set their savage ancestors straight on the do’s and don’ts). The second story will get a lot more complicated, involving more back-and-forth movement in time, as Farness will be more of a researcher than a full-fledged Patrolman. His actual duty shall be to gather a more complete history of the Goths, and to complete the lacunas in their poems and literature, while avoiding a world-wrecking fuckup, rather then chasing down radicals. His jaunts in time are going to take him from studying his subjects in the fourth century, to his flashbacks of joining the Patrol in the 1980’s, and to his present-day living with his wife in the 1930’s. However, with the first story providing a background for the Patrol and Everard, including their use and directives concerning time travel, and the second story concerning a sloppy Patrol recruit and the causal loop he’s unintentionally creating, the to halves will result in a relatively decent whole.

Another bonus will certainly be that the book is gong to be much better than the cover art (which I always consider to be a great gauge when selecting material). Once I finish reading it, I may not think it’s a suitable recommendation for all science fiction fans, but I’ll probably think that any supporters of the time-travel niche may enjoy this.(less)

Oct 22, 2009 10:01pm · see review

Chris made a comment on Clackamas's review of Nightfall

"Never heard of it, sounds solid, and anything liable to be found at a bus stop is probably right up my alley."

Oct 21, 2009 10:49pm · see review

More of Chris's books…

Quotes Chris Likes

“The schoolmastering profession has always attracted homosexual flagellants”
― Burgo Partridge, A History of Orgies

3 people liked it

“They haven't any spirit in them - no proud dreams and no proud lusts; and a man who hasn't one or the other-Lord! What is he but funk and precautions.”
― H.G. Wells, The War of the Worlds

14 people liked it

“Before I'd touch a square bitch's slit,
I'd suck a thousand clappy pricks and swim through liquid shit,
They got green puke between their rotten toes,
And snot runs from their funky nose,
I hope square bitches become syphilitic wrecks,
I hope they fall through their own assholes and break their motherfucking necks.”
― Iceberg Slim, Pimp: The Story of My Life

30 people liked it

“I'm a headstone waiting for words, so just carve my epitaph for me”
― Ken Andrews - Year of the Rabbit

2 people liked it

“Every fictioneer re-invents the world because the facts, things or people of the received world are unacceptable.”
― Geoffrey Wolff

3 people liked it

More quotes Chris likes…

Chris’s Writing

The Land Of Pussy & Ice (Romance)

1 chapters — updated Mar 29, 2010 04:34pm

Description: I haven't posted any 'writing' on here yet, and figured what the hell. Seeing as I don't do any writing, I'm just going to type the lyrics to a song I wrote back when I was a punk-ass bitch, jamming with a band called Accretion Disc around the turn of the millennium. That whole endeavor went to shit in a spectacular and horrific wreckage which is still spoken of in hushed whispers in the jit-drenched back alleys of dive bars scattered amidst the suburbs of Chicago. Our lead singer, perhaps the most narcissistic bag of shit I've ever met, abruptly decided the band was a vehicle for his own self-serving motives after a New Years Eve show, in which he mind-bogglingly saw himself as a new rock messiah preaching to a tremendous crowd of about 60 loyal and zealous acolytes. Rumor has it that his new band is playing the Warped Tour this year, and I checked out their myspace page to see if this unholy abortion would really be given stage-time, and sure enough, my friend-turned-nemesis was indeed given a chance at the meteoric rise he'd been masturbating over for so long, while looking at his reflection in the mirror dressed as a woman. While I can only weep that someone would promote his untalented ass, it is pretty funny that this poor, unscrupulous spritz of salamander sperm has been reduced to a mascara-wearing androgynous piece of fuck-bait. The song was a response to the aforementioned asshole’s displeasure that any time he asked me for songwriting input I gave him certifiable garbage, inane and diddling rooster shit that even brain-damaged gluesniffers wouldn’t bother with. So, the bassist and I showed our genuine appreciation for his constructive criticism by laying this one down loud and true on the long-gone Tascam 4-track. The bassist overlaid the guitar as well and sang this silly shit and I took care of the drums and the backing vocals, as my singing voice has been unfavorably compared to the mating call of a wildebeest getting an indian-burn on its sack. Get your lighter at the ready.....