Kathleen Pooler (goodreadscomKathleen_Pooler)

Kathleen Pooler rated a book 5 of 5 stars

Warrior Mother: A Memoir of Fierce Love, Unbearable Loss, and Rituals That Heal
by Sheila K. Collins

read in June, 2013

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When I finished reading Sheila Collins’ memoir, Warrior Mother, I felt as if a relentlessly passionate,yet gentle guide had taken my hand and led me through a mother’s worse nightmare to a place of peace and healing. Losing a child by any means is, a...more When I finished reading Sheila Collins’ memoir, Warrior Mother, I felt as if a relentlessly passionate,yet gentle guide had taken my hand and led me through a mother’s worse nightmare to a place of peace and healing. Losing a child by any means is, at the very least, devastating. Losing two adult children five years apart to illness is unfathomable. I was drawn into her intimate story and suspended in its unfolding as a mother, a health care provider and a spiritual seeker.
With a blunt honesty that is tempered by a soothing, confident voice, Collins guides me through her journey of loving and letting go, exploring, reflecting, searching for ways to cope; balancing hope with the harsh realities of watching her children succumb to AIDS and cancer. There is no sugar-coating the terror and angst or the repercussions on family dynamics suffered in such scenarios.
When 31-year-old Ken is diagnosed with AIDS, she embraces the cause of AIDS Awareness/Treatment by getting involved in the AIDS Community. Combining her fierce mother love with her social worker and dance therapy skills, she helps Ken create a safe plan to live his life to the fullest. Choosing to leave the Catholic faith she was brought up with, she adopts Native American healing rituals into her own spiritual practices, often participating in women’s spiritual retreats and performing in dance therapy programs. These healing rituals and dance therapy exercises help Ken and her balance their fears while navigating around an insensitive and judgmental health care system.
When she applies these healing rituals at the death bed of a close friend she finds these practices make it easier for both her and her friend to let go. Her friend dubs her a “Medicine Woman”, prompting her to seek a deeper level of spiritual awareness. She travels to Brazil to meet a healer when, five years after Ken’s death, her 41-year-old daughter Corinne is diagnosed with an aggressive form of treatment-resistant breast cancer.
What I like most about this spiritual memoir is how Collins honors her children by valuing their differences and choices while maintaining her strong mothering bond. She also honors herself by doing what she needs to do to take care of her own needs, letting go of her need to control how they live their lives. While I may not prescribe to her belief system, I have a great deal of respect for her ability to not only find a way that works for her but also to reach out to others in a healing way. Her writing is engaging and believable and her story lingers in my mind and reinforces that healing is possible after the most profound losses any mother could experience. She delivers on her promise of showing us in vivid terms what it means to be a “Warrior Mother.” A story of courage and hope, it is a gift to the world.(less)

Kathleen Pooler rated a book 5 of 5 stars

Reaching
by Grace Peterson (Goodreads Author)

read in June, 2013

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When I first started reading Reaching by Grace Peterson, I knew it was about spiritual abuse, getting into and out of a cult -like experience, but I wasn't sure what to expect. The prologue sets the stage for the pivotal moment Grace realizes she nee...more When I first started reading Reaching by Grace Peterson, I knew it was about spiritual abuse, getting into and out of a cult -like experience, but I wasn't sure what to expect. The prologue sets the stage for the pivotal moment Grace realizes she needs to get help. The story then begins in the author's childhood and within the first page I felt the pain of a little girl whose mother is dismissive and non-caring. A child's voice in the present tense pulls me into this story and keeps me suspended throughout her traumatic childhood journey with this dismissive mother and a violent father who eventually get divorced. The ongoing lifelong animosity between these two parents impacts their children in lasting and negative ways. The author uses a very effective technique which highlights the emotional distance she feels with her parents by referring to them as "the mother" and "the father." She does the same with "the mean grandparents "vs. "the nice grandparents" and the "scary uncle". These scenes from her childhood which include moving to Hawaii, bullying at school, an abusive stepfather, sexual abuse by a neighbor all serve to foreshadow the difficulties to come. The end result is, as a reader, I felt very close to this little girl and the ongoing trauma she endured at the hands of the adults in her life who did not guide or protect her.
When she meets her husband at age nineteen, I am encouraged that she finally has found a person who respects, loves and supports her. However, since so much has gone wrong in her childhood, I know she is still very vulnerable. Therefore, it makes sense to me when she falls prey to a charismatic, controlling pastor from their church who lures her into his fanatical, biblically-oriented teachings which not only do not address her underlying mental health issues but send her deeper into chaos and disruption as she slowly becomes addicted to him. The fact that she is able to extract herself from his clutches speaks to her resiliency, the love of a good husband and her fierce desire to love and protect her own four children.
The structure of the story includes flashbacks written in the present tense with her adult perspective woven in. She writes with a raw honesty, vivid imagery and an urgent tension that kept me engaged and turning the pages until the end. By the end I felt I had walked her path from abused child to vulnerable adult to an empowered woman who has survived the journey and is grateful for her life. This is a riveting and satisfying heroine's journey through spiritual abuse to recovery. I can see this memoir being helpful to anyone who has ever relinquished control to anyone or anything outside themselves.(less)

Kathleen Pooler rated a book 5 of 5 stars

My Father's Garden by Karen Levy
by Karen Levy

read in May, 2013

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My Father's Gardens is a captivating story of a young woman who grows up living between two countries and longs to find a place she can call home. Through a complex and rich narrative that pulled me in, she invited me into her world and kept me suspe...more My Father's Gardens is a captivating story of a young woman who grows up living between two countries and longs to find a place she can call home. Through a complex and rich narrative that pulled me in, she invited me into her world and kept me suspended there until the very end. She wove in her memories of a restless mother who was driven to maintain a perfect family image and a disengaged and preoccupied father whose job as a university professor took him to America, with her day-to-day life and coming of age. Based on the periodic whims of her mother, the family packs up and moves between Israel and California every few years.
Just the very idea of being uprooted as a child as she was and the subsequent disruption that can lead to engaged me in this story. The descriptions and overall writing has a lyrical--almost magical--feel as we, the readers, are transported between cultures through the eyes of a young girl who longs to find her place in the world. We feel the ache in this young girl's heart while also seeing her resilience and drive to make the most of the situation. And that she does by bringing us into both worlds through her vivid descriptions and showing us her attachment to the people and culture of both lands. Through it all, I sensed that Israel was her first love though she makes every attempt to nurture the good in her American experience.
The story is structured in a series of compelling vignettes strung together to give an overall picture of a heartbreak I could feel, a searching I became a part of and ultimately a redemption that left me with a sense of satisfaction that this young woman was transformed. She wove in heartfelt reflections as she attempted to reconcile her painful memories.
She has found her home and is at peace with herself and her life, no matter where she lives. With a unique voice that made me want to linger until the end, she creates a hauntingly beautiful tale of heartache and homecoming;one that will stay with me for a long time to come.(less)

Kathleen Pooler made a comment on her review of Swimming with Maya: A Mother's Story

"Swimming with Maya is a heart-wrenching, yet hopeful story of a parent’s worst nightmare--loving and letting go of a beloved daughter, Maya-- spoken f...more "

Kathleen Pooler rated a book 5 of 5 stars

Swimming with Maya: A Mother's Story
by Eleanor Vincent

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Kathleen Pooler made a comment on her review of Friend Grief and Anger: When Your Friend Dies and No One Gives A Damn (Friend Grief, #1)

"In Book 1 of her series on Friend Grief, Victoria Noe tackles the universal yet not widely acknowledged issue of anger as a normal part of grieving th...more In Book 1 of her series on Friend Grief, Victoria Noe tackles the universal yet not widely acknowledged issue of anger as a normal part of grieving the loss of a friend. The premise in her series is the grief felt over the loss of a friend is often not validated as the loss of a family member is.
When her best friend Delle Chatman died of ovarian cancer in 2006, two weeks before her 55th birthday, Viki felt challenged to pay tribute to her . A few months before Delle died, Delle had supported Viki’s desire to write a book for people who had lost a friend. Delle’s response, “Just do it” stayed with Viki until she convinced herself that she must follow through.
In a conversational tone that makes me feel like I am chatting with a good friend, Viki answers the call to write about friend grief. In sharing her personal journey of losing dear friends, such as Delle , 9/11 victims who were friends and members of the AIDS community and theater communities she had served, she has turned her personal mission into a bigger mission of helping others understand and cope with their own friend grief.
But what comes across as a conversation in which I feel like I am talking with a trusted friend is really a extensively-researched effort to elevate the awareness of the experience and wide range of feelings that accompany the loss of a friend. She writes with honesty, clarity and authenticity.
Book 1 explores her own experiences of anger over losing friends with lessons learned for all of us. In doing so, she validates that anger is a normal part of the grief process and legitimizes the depth of the loss experienced when a friend dies.
Through sharing her personal stories of loss and sharing her research findings, gleaned from multiple interviews and years of investigating and reporting, she has garnered attention in the grief community and fulfilled her promise to Delle to “just do it.”
I admire Viki for making a positive difference through this worthy mission and look forward to the remaining books in her series.(less)"

Kathleen Pooler rated a book 5 of 5 stars

Friend Grief and Anger: When Your Friend Dies and No One Gives A Damn (Friend Grief, #1)
by Victoria Noe (Goodreads Author)

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Kathleen Pooler rated a book 5 of 5 stars

French Illusions: My Story as an American Au Pair in the Loire Valley
by Linda Kovic-Skow (Goodreads Author)

read in February, 2013

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Linda Kovic-Skow’s debut memoir, French Illusions is a captivating, well-crafted, believable story of a twenty-one year-old young woman who, despite not being able to speak French, takes off to become an au pair for a wealthy French family in the Loi...more Linda Kovic-Skow’s debut memoir, French Illusions is a captivating, well-crafted, believable story of a twenty-one year-old young woman who, despite not being able to speak French, takes off to become an au pair for a wealthy French family in the Loire Valley of France. I was riveted to this story and once I started reading it, I could not put it down.
The author takes us through the painstaking process of facing the haughty, overbearing Madame Dubois, the matriarch of the family, immediately setting the tone of the main obstacle and challenge she has to deal with-proving herself and maintaining her job.
Kovic-Skow’s writing is descriptive and engaging as she weaves in details of the culture and environment in a way that brings the reader right into the scene. Interspersing French phrases, she gives the reader the sense of alienation she experiences. The characters are well-developed and multi-dimensional. The conflict and tension between her and Madame Dubois and her children, especially her petulant and disrespectful seven-year-old daughter are palpable and real. This unfair treatment she endures at the hands of her ruthless employer serves to help the reader empathize with her plight as she weaves in her reflections and attempts to work through the demands and lack of respect she endures. I found myself rooting for her and feeling some relief that Madame Dubois’ husband is far more reasonable and compassionate. His accommodation to his wife though does add to the tension. I appreciate how the author presents the light moments and positive, caring people who help her along the way as well as the dark moments.
Her weekly escape into a nearby town to attend French classes provides adventure and romance. She meets friends her own age and falls in love with a handsome and caring Frenchman. This presents further complications for her as Madame Dubois undermines any attempts for her to have a life outside of her au pair role. She eventually breaks free and leaves the reader cheering for her resolve and courage to move on from her oppressive situation. My only complaint is that I felt it ended too soon with her staying on to finish her semester. I was left with many questions about the rest of her story. But that can be considered a testimony to her ability to hook me into wanting to know more. I am hoping she will do a sequel. A captivating memoir filled with challenges, adventure and romance. I feel like I took a trip to France and lived through her experience.(less)

Kathleen Pooler made a comment on Sherrey's review of Singing from Silence Rich Mullins: Love Beyond Fear

"Thank you for this thought-provoking and insightful review, Sherrey. You captured the essence of this book so eloquently."

Kathleen Pooler liked Sherrey's review of Singing from Silence Rich Mullins: Love Beyond Fear:

Singing from Silence Rich Mullins by Pamela Richards

" My introduction to Singing from Silence and its author, Pamela Richards, came as a result of an interview with Pam on Kathy Pooler's blog, Memoir Writer's Journey. I then began visiting Pam's blog, A Candle to the Sun, and in a giveaway won a copy... " Read more of this review »

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Kathleen Pooler rated a book 5 of 5 stars Warrior Mother: A Memoir of Fierce Love, Unbearable Loss, and Rituals That Heal by Sheila K. Collins read in June, 2013	Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
When I finished reading Sheila Collins’ memoir, Warrior Mother, I felt as if a relentlessly passionate,yet gentle guide had taken my hand and led me through a mother’s worse nightmare to a place of peace and healing. Losing a child by any means is, a...more
54 minutes ago · see review
Kathleen Pooler rated a book 5 of 5 stars Reaching by Grace Peterson (Goodreads Author) read in June, 2013	Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
When I first started reading Reaching by Grace Peterson, I knew it was about spiritual abuse, getting into and out of a cult -like experience, but I wasn't sure what to expect. The prologue sets the stage for the pivotal moment Grace realizes she nee...more
Jun 05, 2013 12:02pm · see review
Kathleen Pooler rated a book 5 of 5 stars My Father's Garden by Karen Levy by Karen Levy read in May, 2013	Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
My Father's Gardens is a captivating story of a young woman who grows up living between two countries and longs to find a place she can call home. Through a complex and rich narrative that pulled me in, she invited me into her world and kept me suspe...more
May 29, 2013 10:47am · see review
Kathleen Pooler made a comment on her review of Swimming with Maya: A Mother's Story "Swimming with Maya is a heart-wrenching, yet hopeful story of a parent’s worst nightmare--loving and letting go of a beloved daughter, Maya-- spoken f...more "
May 27, 2013 11:26am · see review
Kathleen Pooler rated a book 5 of 5 stars Swimming with Maya: A Mother's Story by Eleanor Vincent	Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
May 27, 2013 11:25am
Kathleen Pooler made a comment on her review of Friend Grief and Anger: When Your Friend Dies and No One Gives A Damn (Friend Grief, #1) "In Book 1 of her series on Friend Grief, Victoria Noe tackles the universal yet not widely acknowledged issue of anger as a normal part of grieving th...more "
May 27, 2013 11:04am · see review
Kathleen Pooler rated a book 5 of 5 stars Friend Grief and Anger: When Your Friend Dies and No One Gives A Damn (Friend Grief, #1) by Victoria Noe (Goodreads Author)	Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
May 27, 2013 11:03am
Kathleen Pooler rated a book 5 of 5 stars French Illusions: My Story as an American Au Pair in the Loire Valley by Linda Kovic-Skow (Goodreads Author) read in February, 2013	Rate this book Clear rating 1 of 5 stars 2 of 5 stars 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars
Linda Kovic-Skow’s debut memoir, French Illusions is a captivating, well-crafted, believable story of a twenty-one year-old young woman who, despite not being able to speak French, takes off to become an au pair for a wealthy French family in the Loi...more
May 21, 2013 08:43am · see review
Kathleen Pooler made a comment on Sherrey's review of Singing from Silence Rich Mullins: Love Beyond Fear "Thank you for this thought-provoking and insightful review, Sherrey. You captured the essence of this book so eloquently."
May 12, 2013 03:58am · see review
Kathleen Pooler liked Sherrey's review of Singing from Silence Rich Mullins: Love Beyond Fear: " My introduction to Singing from Silence and its author, Pamela Richards, came as a result of an interview with Pam on Kathy Pooler's blog, Memoir Writer's Journey. I then began visiting Pam's blog, A Candle to the Sun, and in a giveaway won a copy... " Read more of this review »
May 12, 2013 03:55am · see review

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