Baly read and liked Natasha's review of Elsewhere:

"...I really, really wanted to like this book, but I couldn't. I just couldn't, no matter how much I tried. :(

First of all, the writing was absolutely terrible and filled with emotionless statements that had me laughing out loud like this:...more ...I really, really wanted to like this book, but I couldn't. I just couldn't, no matter how much I tried. :(

First of all, the writing was absolutely terrible and filled with emotionless statements that had me laughing out loud like this: "A taxicab speeds out of nowhere. Liz flies through the air. She thinks, I will surely die." (Did you notice that she flies through the air without being hit by the taxicab?)

Secondly, the dialogue was unrealistic and unnatural. Most of the time people were saying things that needed to be said, not things that they would actually say. This really irked me.

Thirdly, I despised the main character, Liz. She's a complete Mary Sue. Why? 1) Everyone likes her despite the fact that she's a selfish, whiny, annoying, uncaring teenager. 2) Owen manages to fall in love with such a girl. 3) When Emily comes back, Owen still ends up ditching her for Liz despite the fact that they were both married and 'in love.' 4) Thandi becomes Liz's best friend despite the fact that they hardly ever talk, and when they do, Liz only does so so she can ask Thandi questions. 5) She can immediately speak Canine, no problem. (Has anyone noticed that in the book, only girls can speak Canine?) 6) I was given the impression that the Well was supposed to be hard to get to. Well, our Liz Sue gets there, no prob--within 10 sentences. As well as being a despicable Mary Sue, she... I think these explain her well enough: "During this discussion of human existence, Liz finds herself drifting to sleep." "Her tears make Liz happy. (Liz is only a little ashamed that her best friend's tears make her happy.)" Seriously... what the heck? She's only a LITTLE ashamed that seeing her best friend cry makes her happy?! And she falls asleep during a DISCUSSION OF HUMAN EXISTANCE?! Oh, and one more passage: "Once, Liz watches her parents having sex." o_O ...This girl... has issues. How disgusting and creepy, especially considering the fact that she watches for thirty seconds as her best friend is losing her virginity later, too. What a creeper.

Fourthly, none of the other characters were memorable or inspiring. Every single one of them was dull. None stood out; none were developed in the slightest.

Fifthly, the romance was awful and never ceased to irritate me. This is probably because no one in this book understands the meaning of 'love.' Seriously. If Owen actually loved Emily, how could he have ditched her for Liz within two weeks?

Sixthly, there was barely any semblance of a plot. The whole story was just a convoluted mess of Liz being angst-ridden and going through a life she doesn't want. (I was completely unable to sympathize with her). The back implies that the plot is Liz "letting go of the only life she has ever known and embracing a new one." Which is quite stupid in the first place. There were so many things Gabrielle Zevin could have done with this, and she chose something as boring as that?

Seventhly (which isn't even a word), it just didn't make sense, half because of plot holes, half because it just wasn't thought out well enough. Why does staying on the S.S. Nile make you become a spirit? Why are there no crazy murderers who have died and are attacking people? What's with the random Egypt references that, I'm pretty sure, have nothing to do with the story (and I would know; I've researched a lot about Egypt to write a story of mine)? How come whenever people talk through the Well, faucets randomly turn on? Why can't you die in Elsewhere? (Apparently, the reason for this is something akin to they will age backward, therefore making all illnesses disappear soon after they appear. But when Liz is trapped at the bottom of the river, how does this apply? Why doesn't she drown? You age backwards; your body doesn't go back in time. Therefore, Liz should've drowned... but then again, she's a Mary Sue).

Eighthly, everyone either says, asks, or yells things. That's it. The word choice is very limited. Heck, I've even observed this: "I AM A VERY ANGSTY PERSON WITH NO DISCERNIBLE EMOTIONS FOR PEOPLE OTHER THAN MYSELF! PLEASE PITY ME!" Liz says. There are explanation points and all caps... yet she 'says' it???

Ninethly, there's no action. None whatsoever. The whole book is just Liz being a whiny, angst-ridden girl who says "um" too much.

Tenthly, too much telling and too little showing. If only I got a nickel for every time this book said, "She feels etc."...

Eleventhly, where the heck is all the emotion? (If you need an example, go reread that laughable quote I pasted farther up, in which Liz flies through the air without being hit by a cab).

Twelfthly, Zevin obviously thinks her readers are just plain stupid because of things like this: "' 'Only Liz'?' Liz is indignant." Umm... I could've realized that she was indignant without you telling me, you know. I'm not so dumb that I cannot understand the underlying context here, and that only indignant people say things like, 'Only Liz'? (Stephenie Meyer often falls into doing this as well).

Lastly, Zevin leaves out descriptions where there should be descriptions. For example, as well as Liz flying without getting hit by a car, there's also a scene where Liz starts screaming yelling (characters in this book may not scream, only yell) at Owen right after she rings the doorbell. Please note that the door never opens, and Owen never walks to the door. She just starts yelling and Owen magically appears WITHOUT OPENING THE DOOR--oh, and Emily can hear Liz too.

("With her pulse racing, Liz rings Owen's doorbell.

'Are you ever planning to come and get Jen?' Liz yells. 'Or are you just planning to leave her with me for the rest of your life?'

'Owen, who's at the door?' Emily calls.

'It's only Liz,' Owen yells back.

'Hi, Liz,' Emily calls out.

' 'Only Liz'?' Liz is indignant. Owen closes the door behind him." ...There are soooo many things wrong with this dialogue! :( And no, that's exactly what's in the book. I kid you not).

There were so many things that could've been done with such an interesting premise. But did Zevin want her story to be interesting? No, which is obvious by the fact that she chose the most boring path about an annoying teenage girl who cares more about herself than anyone else and how she wanted to get older and go to prom and get big boobs and fall in love and get a car and drive and have sex and live with someone other than her grandmother (which she actually has the nerve to complain about).

DO NOT READ THIS BOOK.(less) "