"If you're looking for sympathy you'll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary."
— David Sedaris (Barrel Fever: Stories and Essays)

"Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination."
— Oscar Wilde

"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing but burn, burn, burn like fabulous roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes 'Awww'"
— Jack Kerouac (On the Road)

"How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?"
— Woody Allen