Fiona read and liked Andrea's review of The Lost Symbol (Robert Langdon, #3):

"I never write reviews, but this book really warrants one. Granted, I should have stayed away given all the bad press, but having read the other two Robert Langdon crapfests, I thought I had to finish the lot. I shouldn't have. Every single page wa...more I never write reviews, but this book really warrants one. Granted, I should have stayed away given all the bad press, but having read the other two Robert Langdon crapfests, I thought I had to finish the lot. I shouldn't have. Every single page was patronizing, spewing facts that anyone could find on Google. And the Masons? Really? Talk about picking a subject that is already so played out. Maybe next time, Robert Langdon could discover Atlantis. And you know, tweed jackets make anything possible. What really bothers me about his writing style is that even when his characters are in mortal danger that can only be resolved by figuring out some ancient riddle (who hasn't had those moments?), instead of just giving a straightforward answer and getting to safety with time to spare, he makes them rant about occult rituals and ancient symbology. Most of the so-called "interesting facts" he inserts into every paragraph can be learned through watching the History Channel. Before I had even read the first page, I was angry for having spent money on a book that I knew ahead of time would be awful, and that anger stayed with me until the end. Or until I got so bored towards the end that I could do no more than to skim. Stay away, for your mental well-being.(less) "

Fiona read and liked Audrey Moore's review of The Lost Symbol (Robert Langdon, #3):

"ALERT! SPOILERS INCLUDED

I sincerely wish that I had only ever read the Da Vinci code. Its story and ideas were interesting and enjoyable. Unfortunately I went back and read Angels & Demons, and now The Lost Symbol. I say unfortunately not...more ALERT! SPOILERS INCLUDED

I sincerely wish that I had only ever read the Da Vinci code. Its story and ideas were interesting and enjoyable. Unfortunately I went back and read Angels & Demons, and now The Lost Symbol. I say unfortunately not because of any sense of personal dissappointment or lost time, but rather I felt sorry that an author so celebrated is really so apparantly talentless. I shouldn't be surprised as it seems to often be a prerequisite for today's pop-culture success (J.K. Rowling now withstanding...in some respects) Had I only read the Da Vinci Code, I would have forever thought of Dan Brown as a creative and innovative writer. Unfortunately, his other novels have revealed his work to be grossly formulaic. (If you don't agree, then you and Dan Brown apparantly have the same reading level and analytic abilities and deserve each other. Also, visit this humorous little page that will generate Dan Brown's next sequel http://www.slate.com/id/2228327/) I realized that the story in the Da Vinci Code had been engrossing enough that, as I had sped through, I had pushed past the didactic and poorly-fact-checked sections and choked back my grimaces at his cliched 8th grade prose. Unfortunately, his other books have the same plots and so can't keep up the same anticipation, leaving the reader dwelling on the passages that start as vague and annoying, then become absurdly incredulous and poorly expressed.

This book pretty much caters to the uneducated, TV-hooked couch potato, who can somehow believe that the CIA runs around like poorly trained police officers in black helicopters and, like Sato in the book, threaten to intimidate and torture everyone. The CIA ,as past years have shown us, certainly may be poorly trained and make mistakes, but their visibility and intelligence is, I pray to God, different from this portrayal. A simple switch from CIA to FBI might have made more sense, but thrilled less the feeble mind of the all-too believing reader. On the other hand, I wish that Washington were filled with such wisdom-seeking people, as the elite heroes of this book, but the descriptions in this book of even basic federal building staff reeks of some notion of elegance and aristocracy that has been long long gone from our nation's government.

Langdon's supposed extreme intelligence has also long been a thorn in my side. Take for instance The 33rd degree. Is it really feasible that it took two world renowned researchers and scholars hours and hours to figure out that "degrees" could refer to temperature as well as physical/geometric measurement? That they "forgot" about Newton, Or that the CIA is running around D.C. pretty much acting as damage control because of a "threat" that a video of high-ranking officials in a mason ceremony MIGHT be leaked? That sounds like low priority for even the FBI.

Even more irritating is the elitist themes that are now a constant in Brown's books. The Victims and Saviors are always rich, educated, from aristocratic families, and usually white, with the exception of a few token minorities such as Bellamy, a flat character to be sure.
The violent villains on the other hand are archetypal outcasts-an albino, a rebellious teen-turned-man-tattoo-d beyond recognition, or even Sato, with her cliched Asian agression. Granted, these characters have some complexity and are not alone in their villainy in their stories, but they certainly play on the sad societal tendency to demonize the "other," what is foreign and unknown to us. For books that narrate tales of redefining what is actually true and challenging archaic belief systems simply because of their age and acceptance, Brown uses biased archetypes without thought.
What angered me is Brown's obvious exploitation of public prejudices and fears in the current news. Sato, with her short stature and fierce aggression surely was not meant to conjure up any connotations of North Korea, right? The CIA's aggression and "knowledge" of torture tactics surely had nothing to do with the public's disapproval of their acts under the Bush admin. (I mean honestly-Langdon is even Waterboarded for crying out loud!)

But finally, and perhaps most frustrating of all is what I suppose Brown thought was an innovative idea-his first twist, his first deviation from his formula: To not have a real secret at all, or at least not one revealable. Instead Brown exceeds his ending by 30 pages, preaching about a lost Masonic bible-yes that is the lost word- a bible placed in a bag and buried under the Washington monument. Instead, Brown tried to distract us from this poorly executed "AHA!" with an ending that reads more like a chapter from a dime-store novel as our Hero's lady leans her head against him and they watch the sun rise and feel... Hope?

In the words of a fellow reviewer...the only word likely to be left on the mind at the end of this read is "Refund."(less) "

Fiona read and liked Ellen's review of The Lost Symbol (Robert Langdon, #3):

"Ugghhhhhh. I've been trying to figure out where to start with this one for the past couple days and still haven't been able to decide. So I guess I'll start with my point.

This book F*CKING BLOWS. F*ck you, Dan Brown, you smug bastard, ...more Ugghhhhhh. I've been trying to figure out where to start with this one for the past couple days and still haven't been able to decide. So I guess I'll start with my point.

This book F*CKING BLOWS. F*ck you, Dan Brown, you smug bastard, for insulting my intelligence like nobody's business. I really liked Angels and Demons, was entertained by The Da Vinci Code, and this book had half the content (not to mention a sixteenth of the climax) of the latter in almost twice the number of pages.

Do you get paid by the modifier? Or the number of hits of the term "secret wisdom"? BUY A GODDAMN THESAURUS. LEARN SOME NEW F*CKING VERBS. Do you ever get sick of writing the following dialogue?

"But that can't possibly be true!"
"Why not Robert?"
"My sharp intellect and well-toned physique just won't let me believe it!"

Seriously, every other f*cking chapter has that conversation, but with way more modifiers and whining, not to mention that it usually takes up a whole f*cking page.

And the shit of it is, it's not even f*cking suspenseful. He literally just keeps you waiting. He doesn't even hide it anymore. The f*cker knows you're going to keep reading anyway, so why even bother to be creative with the cliffhangers?

And the puzzles are even straightforward! Even though I don't hold a degree in Symbollogy (Yeah f*cking right. I still contend that he made that word up. Watch the f*cking Boondock Saints, Dan Brown.), a handful of them are completely obvious, and I swear he recycled at least one from Angels and Demons.

And only one revelation in the whole book is remotely shocking. And I did see it coming. The rest of them are just inane letdowns. When I hear, "issue of national security," I think nukes-- not the pussy shit this guy is threatening.

Deep breath.

Moral of the story, please don't feed the author. And moral number two: if the back cover of a book contains solely "Critical Raves for Another Book," you should know better.(less) "