Meghan added a quote:
"It always shocked me when I realized that I wasn’t the only person in the world who thought and felt such strange and awful things." — John Green

Meghan added a quote:
"Oh, Wikipedia, with your tension between those who would share knowledge and those who would destroy it." — John Green

Meghan read and liked Stephanie Brown's review of Hold Still:

""And I knew you, pigtails and all. Girls when they fall..." Tori Amos

It seems appropriate to quote my favorite singer when reviewing Nina LaCour's debut novel HOLD STILL because music plays a healing role in the novel and LaCour...more "And I knew you, pigtails and all. Girls when they fall..." Tori Amos

It seems appropriate to quote my favorite singer when reviewing Nina LaCour's debut novel HOLD STILL because music plays a healing role in the novel and LaCour's writing--like music--is lyrical and haunting. The characters that arise from LaCour's words pulse from the page not as echoes but as the very beat of themselves.

I love Caitlin's lines when she's listening to music in the middle of a dance floor at a wedding and says, "I just stood there with my eyes closed, feeling the movement of all the people around me, the vibration of the bass rise through the floor to my throat, while something inside me broke and came back together." Lines like these made me feel so close to the character. In fact, every character (and it is a WONDERFUL culturally diverse set of characters) feels so real and realized. Not some conceptualized rending of what teenagers are and what they think, hope, and feel. But real young adults whose stories are meaningful, full of love and full of trouble.

The trouble begins with Caitlin receiving devastating news that her best friend Ingrid has committed suicide. Caitlin is stunned, says at receiving the news, "My heart pounds so hard I can feel it in my ears." For the rest of the novel, we see Caitlin struggle with the memories of her friend while trying to build a new life.

Caitlin's struggles will focus readers on asking themselves some important questions: how well do we know our friends, the people who love us? Can we imagine our lives without friends? The answer will be different for every reader but the conclusion that I came to after reading this novel is that with our without the people we love, sometimes the hardest thing to do is to see ourselves with new eyes...as if we're seeing ourselves for the first time.

Caitlin struggles with seeing her life without Ingrid. She's alone. How can she let go when she never got a chance to say goodbye? Indeed, I think this novel challenges the reader to accept what we can and can't change. Caitlin hangs a photograph in her locker, which was taken by her deceased best friend, and she thinks, "It must be the most peaceful picture in the world. It's the setting of a fairy tale, it's somewhere that can't exist anymore."

And the novel goes on and we watch Caitlin through her recovery. The road isn't entirely smooth but through art and music, she discovers herself again; she discovers new friends, new love, new purpose. Finally, she learns to let go. I won't give too much away but the final scenes took my breath away. I cried in two distinct places of the novel but I don't think they need to be stated because part of the joy of reading this book is watching Caitlin arrive to that place of peace.

This is NOT a conventional novel about depression--and I mean that in a good way. Don't expect the pages to answer why some people get so depressed they can't rise out of it. Don't expect the novel to explain the symptoms of depression because they can often go unnoticed (as we see in the novel). Instead, the reader focuses on the lives of these characters and on the healing for the ones left behind Ingrid's suicide.

Focusing on their healing actually brings a wonderful quality to the book, presenting moments when the reader can breathe after tense scenes. Caitlin learns how to enjoy the small things: a good cup of coffee just to her liking, learning how to drive, hanging out in the city with friends. So yes--there are BIG PAYOFFS for making it through the sad parts of the novel. LaCour will not leave the reader broken. We are put back together and made whole--and hopeful.

I really can't say enough wonderful things about this book. I won't give any more of the story away because there's plenty more to talk about. I wasn't able to put it down once I started and I'm all the better for finishing this beautiful novel. Pick it up and let Caitlin's rebirth inspire you, too!(less) "