Live Video Chat With Susan Cain

recorded Jun 05, 2013 11:00AM
(type q in front of your question to highlight that question in chat)
Patrick Brown:
May 16, 2013 04:09PM
Join us on Wednesday, June 5 at 2pm ET/11am PT for a live video chat with bestselling author Susan Cain. We'll be discussing her Goodreads Choice Award-winning book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking.

If you have a question for Susan, please ask it below!
Ej:
May 20, 2013 03:15PM
No question, just wanting to say how much I enjoyed reading this book. My husband, the extrovert, enjoyed it as well. I know these people and am sick of hearing that introverts need to be.... The loud are taking over!! Yipes! Look what a mess they are making :)
Gale English:
May 28, 2013 05:02PM
I'm an 'innie' and it was an absolute relief to read the book last year. I feel much more accepting of my preferences but at the same time recognise the need to push myself out of my comfort zone a little. My question is about job interviews. I recently failed an interview because I came across as too much of an innie. What are some techniques I can use to act more like an extrovert when I need to?
Lorie Roberts:
May 28, 2013 05:17PM
I am curious what you think about the Big 5 personality dimensions. This theory seems to assert that being extroverted is better than being introverted. This was implied quite clearly by at least 2 of the teachers in psychology courses I took last year. I was actually kind of shocked since I have come more and more to appreciate my introversion and do not see it as anything wrong with me, just my way of being. I felt like giving these teachers a copy of your book! Thank you for writing a book that celebrates introversion rather than pathologizing it.
Tami Stackelhouse:
May 28, 2013 05:18PM
I am a health coach and specialize in working with women with fibromyalgia. I also lead a support community for people with fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, and chronic pain. In reading your book, I was fascinated with the idea that introverts are over stimulated by the world around them. A common symptom of fibromyalgia & chronic fatigue is being easily overwhelmed by lights, sounds, fragrances, etc. It left me wondering if there was a connection with introversion and these chronic illnesses... whether being an introvert increased the likelihood of developing these conditions, or simply that when you have them you're more likely to become an introvert. I'd love to know your thoughts on this - and if you know of any studies being done in this area.
Lindsay Brubaker:
May 28, 2013 05:21PM
I have no questions, I just wanted to say how much I loved your book. I am in high school, and normally I stick to my genre of YA fiction, but when I saw this book on goodreads, I knew I had to read it. I have always been one of the quieter people in my group of friends, and lately have been trying to talk myself into being more outgoing. This book has proven to me that no, I don't need to change myself, and I didn't know beforehand how much society has influenced the extrovert ideal, etc. I am really glad this book exists, so thank you for writing it!
Sunil Bhaskaran:
May 28, 2013 05:34PM
Truly loved the book and the writing style. I enjoyed the book for it's practical suggestions for making introversion measurable and also for how to live and work with introversion from acceptance and freedom. Thank you. My question is "Since writing the book, have there been other advances in neuroscience or psychology giving tangible means of being effective either as an introvert or extrovert?
Sunil Bhaskaran:
May 28, 2013 05:35PM
Q: 0 minutes ago Truly loved the book and the writing style. I enjoyed the book for it's practical suggestions for making introversion measurable and also for how to live and work with introversion from acceptance and freedom. Thank you. My question is "Since writing the book, have there been other advances in neuroscience or psychology giving tangible means of being effective either as an introvert or extrovert?
Ioana:
May 29, 2013 12:19PM
I would love to attend, but 2pm on a Wednesday is not a good time. Will the chat be taped, so it can be viewed/listeneed at a later time?
Naomi Krokowski:
May 28, 2013 07:16PM
Susan, have you been able to get educators involved in the Quiet movement? What other ways will you try to get parents and others to support introverts?
Vishal Kataria:
May 28, 2013 09:34PM
The book is named aptly. We're generally quiet in a world that can't stop talking. Some of us get repelled when we hear people talk too much. And as you said, they generally take the team off the proverbial cliff. How does an introvert put forth her/his view point and get the team to accept it?
Karen:
May 29, 2013 01:47AM
I really loved this book. I confess I started evangelizing about it. I hope this isn't your last book. Do you have others in the works?
Katherine Gregg:
May 29, 2013 07:58AM
Loved the book and have given it as gifts and recommended it to many many friends. I missed seeing you at your talk in Grand Rapids, MI recently so look forward to the video chat.
Paddy Lynch:
May 29, 2013 08:26AM
q- On page 146, you cite David Sloan Wilson's notion of fast and slow animals. He refers to the fast ones as "bullies" who are particularly reward sensitive. Do you see any correlations between extroversion and bullying in humans?
Georgia smith:
May 29, 2013 12:48PM
Dear Susan Cain, When I first read your book i unaffically diagnosed myself a closet introvert. For years i have forced myself to oversome social situations, attempting to 'fit in' to what i thought was the norm and wondering why i would feel exhausted after spending hours with friends. Thank you for opening my eyes to the way of the introvert and that it is not something to be ashamed off! Love from the U.K
Aizpea Murphy:
May 29, 2013 06:26PM
Q: Do you have any advice for shy and/or introverted students who are graded in class discussions?
Christi Byerly:
May 30, 2013 06:30AM
Q: how can I encourage my daughter, who is going to 7th grade next year after spending a year homeschooling? She LOVES to be by herself in her room and read, and I know that long days at school make her feel nervous.
Kapil:
May 30, 2013 07:06AM
Q: I very the book a lot, specially could related to several examples. I had a query regarding some of the conclusions in Chapter 3 with respect to work environment and discussion on collaborations in academic environment. Page 89 concluded that professors collaborating from different physical locations tend to produce more influential research. However, there are numerous examples where physical proximity based collaboration was essential for influential research. Bell labs being a towering example. The details were recently chronicles in a book titled "The Idea Factory". The book cited several innovations which were possible because researchers were able to discuss with each other on a regular basis. It would be great if you could discuss on some of these issues.
stupidus:
May 30, 2013 08:53AM
In my view the take home message is that we all have this capacity to have different modes even if our personalities would be more at ease with - say - being introverted. I think it's hardly ever black and white. The "cause" for shyness for example can't always be explained by introverted personality type. It may be "just" a trauma that the person in question has learned to internalize for some reason. And it would probably be healthy to try to learn out of it. As for myself I nowadays just simply call myself an extroverted introvert. Which I hope comes out as a code word for my friends to leave me alone for good many days every year without me needing to ask for it. :)
stupidus:
May 30, 2013 08:55AM
Oh yeah, and thank you Susan for taking five years out of your time for nailing that sucker down. Kudos!
Bulmaro Herrera:
May 30, 2013 01:43PM
Great book. My question is, what do you think of the trend to put software engineers in open floors. I personally become an engineer, because I like solving problems NOT because I wanted to be social (but that was not my focus choosing profession). Most of my peers at school and work (90%?) chose the profession because we feel more fulfilled solving problems than socializing. On forcing engineers to open floors, companies are 1) negating our personalities 2) putting us in an environment very uncomfortable for us (and wonder why we don't like it) 3) Forcing us to say we like it (or the highway) 4) Expecting all spectrum of personalities to fit into one standard environment. What do you think?
Kamillah:
Jun 01, 2013 08:41AM
I loved reading this book, and it helped me realized I can be comfortable and confident in my nature, although it often sounds easier said than done! My question is about being an introvert in an office that values extroverted qualities. Recently, I had my annual Human Resources evaluation and my supervisor rated me "down" on communication skills and interpersonal skills because my "internal processing can negatively impact professional relationships." Do you have any tips for having an open discussion with my supervisor or for acting more extroverted when necessary in the office?
Victor Genke:
Jun 02, 2013 03:50PM
q Can introverted leaders be as effective as extroverted?
Polarbear:
Jun 03, 2013 10:06PM
I was deeply blessed to have had the opportunity to have read this book, it was invaluably recommended to me.
Polarbear:
Jun 03, 2013 10:12PM
I am thankful for the freedom I have been introduced to, for being set free from False beliefs surrounding Introversion. All my life I have felt caged and disposed, having to exert far too much energy to become what I am not meant to be has taken it's toll on me in so many respects I cannot even begin to recount. I am certain I will read the book over again as I desire to understand more clearly my temperaments as an extremely introverted individual.
Polarbear:
Jun 03, 2013 10:16PM
I cannot say enough about how important this book is towards developing a better understanding in making connections to all the aspects relevent to the struggles I had been so blind to all my life, I can see now how marginalizing Society is and bombarding battles of finding solace when it really matters is now all of a sudden rightly understood as being detrimental for me, whereas prior to reading the book I just could not make sense of my downgrade in energy and tolerance.
Polarbear:
Jun 03, 2013 10:17PM
Do you have any plans to Write another Book in relation to Introversion?
Polarbear:
Jun 03, 2013 10:21PM
Thank you for seeking courage in your own life, for the the efforts through your search for answers has brought relief and comfort to many I am certain.
Marhard:
Jun 04, 2013 11:07AM
q 11:06 Pacific I am having technical trouble? Has the video chat started?
Elyse Walters:
Jun 04, 2013 01:20PM
I thought your book was AMAZING...FANTASTIC..a book EVERYBODY would get tons of value from!
Elyse Walters:
Jun 04, 2013 01:26PM
I want share something which you talked about in your book ---which I deeply related to (even felt very sad). I was one of those kids in school who was popular-busy being social. My dad died when I was 4 --and my mother was almost never home --so I was lonely at home--friends became very important to me...(still are)...but I didn't spend time reading-or muc 'alone' time for developing a personal talent --(other than I was very physical outside)...
Elyse Walters:
Jun 04, 2013 01:29PM
It took me years (as an adult) to find real 'inner' balance and peace. The people I respect the most --feel most safe with as close friends are introverted types. People often would think of me as extroverted....but over the years I have done what you talked about in your book,....'practiced'...more peaceful ways of living....and today --I'm often more introverted. Funny--its only been about 5 or 6 years that I developed a PASSION for reading. I feel blessed. I can't tell you enough how much your book means to me on soooooo many levels. Thank you!
Jennifer Synk Bracker:
Jun 04, 2013 06:17PM
Q: I will actually be at work during the chat, which I really regret. Thank you so much for writing this book. I came away feeling like I didn't have to apologize for myself, and like I better knew how to utilize my strengths. There are so many moments now where I realize my strengths are being downplayed as negatives by others. I was recently told at work that I come off as reserved, "all I bring" is knowledge and production. Oy. My question is :Was it difficult pitching this book? How did you convince your publisher that there was an audience waiting for this book since introverts seems to be a minority to begin with, and even less visible still since many pass themselves off as extroverts ? Thank you
Rich Day:
Jun 04, 2013 06:23PM
I cannot join you unfortunately, it's my daughter's graduation, but my good wishes are with you for a successful event! But I do have a question for you, though it only touches on introversion on the periphery. My question is, what aspects of character have served you best to become someone who is so obviously thriving and comfortable in their own skin?
Hillary:
Jun 04, 2013 07:08PM
Q: I have been unemployed or underemployed for quite some time now. Notwithstanding the current economy, I blame my being an introvert for a lot of my struggle to find gainful employment. I rarely make it past the first round of interviews. What advice can you offer to introverts who are struggling to get their foot in the door of a career? How can I “shine” during an interview or networking opportunity?
Hayley:
Jun 04, 2013 07:48PM
q: I read your book last year and it really helped me, thank you so much. I remember in one section it talked about how introverts often pretend to be extroverts to 'fit in' (I think you called it pseudo-extroversion), and I've realised this is generally how I try to deal with situations where I have to speak in public. Doing this all the time really drains me and since reading your book I realise it might not be the only trick in the bag. I was wondering is it possible to do public speaking in a more introverted way? Did you have any tricks to preparing for your TED Talk? Thanks so much :)
Susan Beamon:
Jun 04, 2013 11:26PM
First, I loved the book. It confirmed many things I found in the world and explained why I do some of the things I do. I've known I was introverted for a very long time. I've read some of the other questions, and, while I don't have one, I must say we need to seperate shyness from introversion. I am an introvert. I am not shy. I have no problem with the new, except that it is coming much too fast. I find social situations draining, not frightening. I haven't had much trouble with public speaking. Shyness and introversion may be combined in the same person, but they come from different places.
Jieying Zheng:
Jun 05, 2013 01:32AM
q Susan, can an introvert become a great "connector" as described by Malcolm Gladwell?
Jill Dorfman:
Jun 05, 2013 02:41AM
Hello. Although I would like to participate during the chat, I will be working at that time. This book was so meaningful to me and my college age daughter. It struck home completely and was beautifully written. To say we identify would be an understatement. Thank you for writing this book Susan. I'm hopeful that Goodreads will publish the chat so that those of us who cannot turn in later will be able to watch it when our timing works. Thank you again for sharing this excellent research based book and validating those of us with introverted personalities who contribute in our own meaningful way to the world.
Shreeang:
Jun 05, 2013 04:14AM
Dear Susan, Dont you think facebook is just another manifestation of the Extrovert Ideal?
Beyoni Ch Ch:
Jun 05, 2013 04:45AM
Q: Susan, LOVE your book! While Edgar prepared index cards to party, how do you prepare yourself before going to social events/cocktail reception/parties then?
Rieta Greenwell:
Jun 05, 2013 06:18AM
Please chat longer than 30 minutes. I'm a counselor and have a client until 230. Can I jump in then? You wouldn't be amazed by how many couples I meet where a part of the problem is your thesis.
Joanna Moody:
Jun 05, 2013 06:32AM
q I am a Christian in a denomination that emphasizes the importance of each member witnessing, testifying, serving and ministering, all activities I see as important, but which often terrify me. Reading your book made me realize that I viewed my shyness and introversion as not simply a personality style, but a weakness, even a sin, because it makes it so difficult for me to do God's work. I don't doubt God's love for me, but now that I know better who I am, I am trying to figure out who it is God wants me to be. I wonder, Susan, if you have seen others during your research who have struggled with worshipping in a culture of extroversion. Thank you for your work!
Derrick:
Jun 05, 2013 07:01AM
I’m a junior in college and the pressures of employment have been building. I’ve been struggling with finding my passion with regards to a career—something that I love. Because of my nature, I find myself doing a lot of reading, but not a lot of doing. A friend recently expressed to me the importance of “getting out there and doing it’‘. What are your thoughts, suggestions, or experiences with discovering a passion?
Cynthia Col:
Jun 05, 2013 07:36AM
Here is my RSVP...thanks
Sandra:
Jun 05, 2013 07:37AM
My question is about introverts in relationships. I have found that since I have started dating my current partner (an extrovert) 4 years ago, I have let go of several friendships. Now, most of the friends I have are people I know through my partner. It seems that once I met my partner (someone I feel very comfortable with, and happy around) I lost the incentive to push myself to maintain and seek new friendships. My mother thinks that my partner is controlling, but this is not the case at all. Is maintaining a social circle outside of one’s primary relationship a problem many introverts face? How can introverts maintain a broader social circle when they have found one person they are so comfortable around?
Sandra:
Jun 05, 2013 07:52AM
q My question is about introverts in relationships. I have found that since I started dating my current partner (an extrovert) 4 years ago, I have let go of several friendships. Now, most of the friends I have are people I know through my partner. It seems that once I met my partner (someone I feel very comfortable with, and happy around) I lost the incentive to push myself to maintain and seek new friendships. My mother thinks that my partner is controlling and pushing other people out of my life, but this is not the case at all. Is maintaining a social circle outside of one’s primary relationship a problem many introverts face? How can introverts maintain a broader social circle when they have found one person they are so comfortable around?
Heidi Fishpaw:
Jun 05, 2013 07:53AM
Sandra, maybe this is "cross talk" but your question really resonates with me because I have faced the same issue, kind of the reverse side of the same coin. My partner is really extroverted compared to me and has pushed for us to do everything together and make common friendships which take up so much of my energy as an introvert that I basically had nothing left to give after going to happy hour with him and trying to keep up with him, it was so exhausting that I would end up in tears not infrequently, to his confusion and disappointment since he was having such a wonderful time...based on past relationships where I kind of "disappeared" into my boyfriend, I decided to be extremely careful to maintain my own friendships outside of those I share with my partner, and stopped exerting myself so much to "keep up" with his social life and his/our circle. In other words, I kept having my own separate social life. Now, I have the reverse problem which is that I don't share enough of a community of people with him and haven't gotten to know his friends yet, which keeps us more distant than I would like.
Heidi Fishpaw:
Jun 05, 2013 08:04AM
Well I don't mean to turn this into therapy but in any case when I read your book, Susan, I suddenly understood things in a whole new light and felt so relieved! I actually cannot emphasize enough how much the book has meant to me and what a difference it has made for me. Now I'm trying to find ways to apply the wisdom and as an introvert sometimes I make connections in my own mind that are so liberating but then that never reaches the other people in my life because it's not my first instinct to share all of the things I think about! Anyways, chats like these are so useful for this reason because I can see the connections other people are making, and how they are applying what you have taught us, Susan.
Edward Gerk:
Jun 05, 2013 08:27AM
How about a list of favorite movies for introverts? How many of us were envious of Tom Hanks in Castaway?
Heet Shah:
Jun 05, 2013 08:37AM
Q: Hey, I really like your book. You have been an inspiration to me and all the introverts in the world. I wanted to ask since I am a college student, I find it difficult to be socially accepted and though I try, I am perceived as socially unavailable and uncool. I like the way I am and enjoy quietness and being alone but still I do feel lonely sometimes. So am I an extrovert or introvert? and how should I behave to be more socially acceptable without being perceived as a weirdo? Thanks
Kendall Gray:
Jun 05, 2013 08:44AM
Q: Do you think our public decision making, political process or public discourse are stunted by the Extrovert Ideal--i.e., the prevalence of extroverts in public office and political life?
Frances:
Jun 05, 2013 09:23AM
I am interested in this subject because one branch of my family is very introverted and it causes situations of misunderstanding .
Moe:
Jun 05, 2013 09:30AM
I felt so validated after reading this book! I like to read and write, and I work best when given individual projects in the office. I am also a freelance musician so I'm used to practicing my instrument for hours alone. I've been called everything form anti-social to passive aggressive even at a very young age. I don't think our current educational system is condusive to developing introverted children to their full potential would you agree?
Frances:
Jun 05, 2013 09:34AM
I really would like to understand the different personalities and perhaps find a way we can get along better. Thanks for writing the book.
Sara Marie:
Jun 05, 2013 09:50AM
What career advice would you give to someone who would prefer to work alone?
Chris:
Jun 05, 2013 09:56AM
Q: What would you define as an extreme introvertness? Is it possible for it to turn into a full blown social phobia?
Angelina:
Jun 05, 2013 10:18AM
Q: As an introverted English teacher of international students, cultural differences in this book have clicked for me. I understand better why I have always connected so well with my Asian students, I see that your book was translated into more than 20 languages. I know that there are other cultures/countries placing high value on extroverts, but as you mention in your book, there are those that don't. Being that this is based on American culture, were there any differences in your translated books? For example: if it was translated into Japanese, was it labeled as a guide to understanding Americans and the differences in culture?
Coco Sánchez:
Jun 05, 2013 10:19AM
Q are you a reader as well? what is your fave book and author?
Sarah Noonan:
Jun 05, 2013 10:34AM
Hi Susan, do you see any differences in percentages of introverts/extroverts by gender? Do you think or have you found that society finds it more acceptable for one gender to be introverted than another
Mary Fuller:
Jun 05, 2013 10:37AM
I LOVED this book. You lifted 50 years of self-doubt off my shoulders by making me realize the value of my quiet and introspective personality. Thank you!!
Kendall Gray:
Jun 05, 2013 10:38AM
BTW Susan, I think you would enjoy Transatlantic, the new novel by Colum McCann. In an author interview on the BBC he spoke about how he tried to capture Senator George Mitchell's persistent quietness, which Tony Blair saw as key to finally ending "The Troubles"
Joakim:
Jun 05, 2013 10:42AM
How will they make this work with all these questions..filed up from days ago?? I'd go crazy if I was editing the questions for her to answer.
Sarah Noonan:
Jun 05, 2013 10:42AM
I too, am interested in a writing career but struggle with pitching myself and my work. I'm sure this is a common scenario. Writing appeals to introverts, but the sales aspect is challenging. Do you have any advice? Thank you.
Joakim:
Jun 05, 2013 10:45AM
people, people, put the letter 'Q' infront of your questions, otherwise they won't be considered and will be ignored.
Kendall Gray:
Jun 05, 2013 10:51AM
Q Describe some of the reactions to your book, e.g., "Thanks for giving me permission to be who I am without feeling abnormal."
Melanie Frances:
Jun 05, 2013 10:56AM
Q What is your advice for a lovely introvert who is about to go on vacation for the first time with her new husband, his two kids, her parents from France, her two brothers and the entire side of her mother's family for a week... Can you sense my growing sense of panic? :) How do you deal with a chaotic moment which will be full of joy and excitement but totally draining for someone who needs her own space to recharge?
Sakura:
Jun 05, 2013 10:58AM
Q Are you an introvert? I know I am!
Patrick Brown:
Jun 05, 2013 10:59AM
We'll be starting in just a minute everyone? If the video doesn't start up for you, just refresh the page. See you shortly!
Rosemarie Salvatore:
Jun 05, 2013 10:59AM
What can I say? I just love this book - I'm so tired of being told there is something wrong with me and so glad that Introverts are becoming empowered now to fight back : )
Faith Morrill:
Jun 05, 2013 11:00AM
I never realized I could be an introvert until I read this: http://www.buzzfeed.com/erinlarosa/31...
Anita W:
Jun 05, 2013 11:00AM
how do we help a child who is both introverted and socially awkward (uncomfortable with greeting others, has difficulty establishing play or getting involved in play with other kids, has difficulty expressing needs/desires), AND is further ostracized because of a need for some alone time?
Tess:
Jun 05, 2013 11:01AM
What suggestions would you have for introverts interacting with other introverts? The book has some focus on introverts interacting with extroverts, but I think an introvert and an introverts have trouble interacting with each other because everything is so bottled up.
Maggie Harper:
Jun 05, 2013 11:01AM
I type as an INFJ - knowing about myself as allowed me to learn about others and understand how the misunderstandings can be negoiated with peace - Q Susan, Do you think that the % given for types are still true ? I read my type is 1% or less which, it a lot of people worldwide, but I have only met one other INFJ .
Douglas Larson:
Jun 05, 2013 11:01AM
Is the chat going to start soon?
Michael Sheller:
Jun 05, 2013 11:01AM
q: Can you please recommend how introverts might effect a change in how evangelical churches receive them?
Ivan Shekerev:
Jun 05, 2013 11:02AM
I just want to wish you a happy life :)
Joakim:
Jun 05, 2013 11:02AM
Maggie, same here! I'm an INFJ too!
Shawn Collins:
Jun 05, 2013 11:03AM
q What are some tips you have for an introvert to make the most of a business conference?
Promod Sharma:
Jun 05, 2013 11:03AM
Q: Has all mainstage public speaking made you more comfortable in front of audiences?
Jesse:
Jun 05, 2013 11:03AM
Q Who is one of your favorite characters in the books you have read; whether fictional or real.
Sash.:
Jun 05, 2013 11:03AM
INFJ here too. I know three others!
Faith Morrill:
Jun 05, 2013 11:03AM
I haven't read the book - what's INFJ?
Patricia Weber:
Jun 05, 2013 11:02AM
If you know your type, INTJ
Stacy Burdette:
Jun 05, 2013 11:04AM
I facilitate a local business book club, and this is the next book we are discussing in just a few days. The live chat is timely. I have already finished the book and loved it! Thank you.
Luci McKean:
Jun 05, 2013 11:04AM
How do you feel when people describe your book as an "Instant bestseller"? Can you speak about your writing process, and now the publicizing process?
Jennifer Sharward:
Jun 05, 2013 11:04AM
q: Any advice for dealing with extrovert bullies? Just as you discussed "the new groupthink," I sometimes struggle with those who are louder drowning out my ideas and opinions, especially if they differ from the extroverted majority.
Raymond Williams:
Jun 05, 2013 11:04AM
q What is your next book going to be on?
Patricia Weber:
Jun 05, 2013 11:05AM
Faith Morrill: INFJ? introversion intuitive feeler judegemenal
Anita W:
Jun 05, 2013 11:05AM
q how do we help a child who is both introverted and socially awkward (uncomfortable with greeting others, has difficulty establishing play or getting involved in play with other kids, has difficulty expressing needs/desires), AND is further ostracized because of a need for some alone time?
Brian Dembkoski:
Jun 05, 2013 11:05AM
INFP here.
Joakim:
Jun 05, 2013 11:05AM
Faith, it's not in her book. INFJ is one of thepersonality types/ 16 types of Myers-Briggs type indicator, based on theories of Carl Jung.
Faith Morrill:
Jun 05, 2013 11:05AM
Thank you, Patricia - just quickly Googled it.
Patricia Weber:
Jun 05, 2013 11:07AM
Pleasure Faith
Gayle Morrow:
Jun 05, 2013 11:07AM
I read the book some time ago and enjoyed it immensely (even cried in some parts!) Is there any indication that forcing introverts into behaving as an extrovert can cause psychological damage of any kind? I was the type of child that hid behind my mom's skirts if someone said "hello" or even looked my way. Then my parents bought a business & I had to work there; I was forced to talk to customers & get to know people (small town) by my business-minded parents. Now that I'm retired, I find that it takes all of my strenght & courage to go out. When given a choice I will stay in my apartment, rather than go out. I also do not do anything in a group, or on a "team" anymore.
Duong Nguyen:
Jun 05, 2013 11:07AM
q How to make relationship between Extrovert and Introvert work? Can Susan speak from her own experience?
Joakim:
Jun 05, 2013 11:07AM
Q Why did you chose the act/topic of 'talking' to relate to fellow introverts?
Anita W:
Jun 05, 2013 11:07AM
Technical issue. Is the sound echoing for everyone else, too? Or is it jut my computer?
Melanie Chen:
Jun 05, 2013 11:08AM
Technical issue. My video says "offline". How do I fix this?
Gayle Morrow:
Jun 05, 2013 11:08AM
No echoing here.
lucy :):
Jun 05, 2013 11:08AM
q is there a way to cultivate introversion or extroversion in children and is it wise to do either?
Hannah:
Jun 05, 2013 11:07AM
Q: I'm a student and an introvert, I've considered homeschooling but my parents are against the idea, what do you think of homeschooling for introverts?
Sash.:
Jun 05, 2013 11:08AM
@Melanie Chen Just press the play button and the stream will start!
Gayle Morrow:
Jun 05, 2013 11:09AM
Sorry forgot. q Is there any indication that forcing introverts into behaving as an extrovert can cause psychological damage of any kind?
Rosemarie Salvatore:
Jun 05, 2013 11:09AM
Maggie and Joakim, I am an INFJ too : )
Gayle Morrow:
Jun 05, 2013 11:09AM
OK, my q doesn't seem to be working.
Brian Dembkoski:
Jun 05, 2013 11:09AM
Q I've heard several of your interviews and podcasts, etc... and a lot of the same questions get repeated. What is one question you WANT to be asked, but haven't, and what is the answer?
Maggie Harper:
Jun 05, 2013 11:09AM
hi Rosemarie :)
Devon Bleak:
Jun 05, 2013 11:09AM
Gayle: needs to be the first thing on the line :-)
Sachin:
Jun 05, 2013 11:09AM
Are there any relationship issues that can happen when husband and wife are both introverts who have different interests?
Philip Harris:
Jun 05, 2013 11:10AM
Q: The company I work in has a lot of introverts - software engineers mostly - but is "run" by extroverts. Do you have any tips for advocating the needs of introverts in that sort of environment?
Gayle Morrow:
Jun 05, 2013 11:10AM
q Is there any indication that forcing introverts into behaving as an extrovert can cause psychological damage of any kind?
Gayle Morrow:
Jun 05, 2013 11:10AM
Thanks, Devon!
Melanie Chen:
Jun 05, 2013 11:10AM
@Sash. I have pressed play, it still says "offline"!
Rafael Parreira:
Jun 05, 2013 11:10AM
is this conversation being recorded?
Larry Leverone:
Jun 05, 2013 11:10AM
q Are there any studies that show that introverts end up single in life (more than extroverts)? Any difference in cultures in this regard?
Luci McKean:
Jun 05, 2013 11:11AM
@Melanie, I wonder if you refreshed the page, if the chat would load.
Tcwallis:
Jun 05, 2013 11:11AM
Q the more i learn about my introversion, the more liberated i get. are you collecting any data on the success that follows this discovery process?
Karen Davis:
Jun 05, 2013 11:12AM
ISTJ here
Rafael Parreira:
Jun 05, 2013 11:12AM
q is this conversation being recorded?
Michael Odesola:
Jun 05, 2013 11:12AM
How would you differentiate a person with a lot of bad social engagement to an introvert?
Luci McKean:
Jun 05, 2013 11:12AM
q How do you feel when people describe your book as an "Instant bestseller"? Can you speak about your writing process, and now the publicizing process? How did you feel about your TED Talk and its aftereffects?
Jeremy Riley:
Jun 05, 2013 11:12AM
I'ISTJ
Anita W:
Jun 05, 2013 11:12AM
@Gayle. Thanks! Figured out the problem. Somehow had two windows open playing the video.
Jeremy Riley:
Jun 05, 2013 11:11AM
ISTJ here too, Karen. Glad you're out there! :-)
Kemi Tomobi:
Jun 05, 2013 11:12AM
Are there differences in how introverts and extroverts approach humor? Something that may be funny to an introvert may not be funny to an extrovert? Or a humorous talk or other public display, or even writing from introverts may differ from that of extroverts?
Michael Odesola:
Jun 05, 2013 11:13AM
Q: How would you differentiate a person with a lot of bad social engagement to an introvert?
Melanie Chen:
Jun 05, 2013 11:13AM
@Luci McKean: I switched computers and it worked. Thanks!!
Karen Davis:
Jun 05, 2013 11:13AM
Me too Jeremy
Joakim:
Jun 05, 2013 11:14AM
Q Please describe your experience with being an introvert and how it impacted your childhood, teens, and adult life? When did the actual revelation come that you were indeed an introvert?
Kelly Weston:
Jun 05, 2013 11:14AM
q: along same line with the kids being graded on participation, looking at this in a professional setting how to you rectify being judged when you dont participate alot in meetings and such..or become more active
Hector Herrera:
Jun 05, 2013 11:14AM
First video chat I've been able to make it to, glad I'm here.
Promod Sharma:
Jun 05, 2013 11:14AM
Q: Some introverts use that label as justification to be anti-social ("that's just who I am"). How would you convince a person like that they are hurting themselves (and perpetuating stereotypes about introverts)?
Faith Morrill:
Jun 05, 2013 11:15AM
q I personally have a lot of OCD and anxiety tendencies. Have you found this to be a common thread with introverts?
Margaret Faye:
Jun 05, 2013 11:15AM
I enjoyed your book and have used it in my blog to encourage other faculty to consider the introverts in their classes.
Joakim:
Jun 05, 2013 11:15AM
Q do you know your Myers-briggs personality type? What is your take on personality theories that are mainstream..that is, if you're aware of them? Do you believe that personality theories have relevance to how we understand and interact with each other? Would the world be a better place if we could type people into categories based on psychological traits. (e.g. introverted vs extroverted).
Brian Dembkoski:
Jun 05, 2013 11:15AM
Yay! That's me!
Kemi Tomobi:
Jun 05, 2013 11:15AM
"Confessions of a Ministry Introvert" by Amy Simpson is a great read. If anyone has access to this article, maybe that person can share it with everyone?
Tyler Suzuki Nelson:
Jun 05, 2013 11:15AM
... (@Promod Sharma) I don't think they're hurting themselves. I think there are benefits (and consequences) to acting extroverted, just as there are benefits (and consequences) to acting introverted.
Brian Dembkoski:
Jun 05, 2013 11:16AM
No problem. :)
Joakim:
Jun 05, 2013 11:16AM
Q Please elaborate on the role of books in your life. What are some of your favorite books?
Twizzie:
Jun 05, 2013 11:16AM
Q: Do you ever read the reviews based on your book? I've known authors that don't even read reviews that are based on their book, but have you?
Joakim:
Jun 05, 2013 11:15AM
Q And last question: Please tell us about the craft of writing. Seeing this is your first book (and really hoping, not the last), how confident were you of your writing method and style?
Josh House:
Jun 05, 2013 11:17AM
Q. Being an introvert people don't think I make a good leader, what are some tips that you have for being an effective leader as an introvert?
Twizzie:
Jun 05, 2013 11:17AM
Q: For writing this book, were you inspired from a different book or a person?
Joakim:
Jun 05, 2013 11:18AM
Q last question- Please tell us about the craft of writing. Seeing this is your first book (and really hoping, not the last), how confident were you of your writing method and style?
Tim Bartsch:
Jun 05, 2013 11:19AM
q I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine who's from China (I grew up in Canada). I spoke to him about your book, and he introduced me to the commonly held belief often held in Asia that introversion/extroversion/personality types are related to one's blood type (type A being introverts). Have you ever come across this idea or any valid research into this hypothesis?
Faith Morrill:
Jun 05, 2013 11:20AM
That's an interesting thought, Tim - I'm a blood type A!
Kendall Gray:
Jun 05, 2013 11:20AM
Q How do we break ourselves of this habit of falling for the charismatic, extroverted leader?
Shlomo Reuben:
Jun 05, 2013 11:20AM
Q How can introverts live with family who dislike them for not being social, and the family members are unaware of introversion and shyness ?
Stephen:
Jun 05, 2013 11:20AM
q Do you see a correlation between introversion and procrastination?
Rohan Nigam:
Jun 05, 2013 11:21AM
Q: What are somethings that schools in the US and across world can do to better cater to the needs of introverts?
Scott Morgan:
Jun 05, 2013 11:21AM
Q: since talking a lot about the book, has this extroverted type journey changed your own introverted personality or changed aspects of how you view introversion?
Harry Hopkins III:
Jun 05, 2013 11:23AM
q:This is a very broad question, but one of my challenges is balancing (a difficult task) the physical world and my internal world. Is this common?I do know when I challenge myself by engaging the physical world I grow as a person incredibly, but I do feel like I have lived many lifetimes when one accounts for my internal world. Loved your book Susan.
Melanie Frances:
Jun 05, 2013 11:23AM
Q What is your advice for a lovely introvert who is about to go on vacation for the first time with her new husband, his two kids, her parents from France, her two brothers and the entire side of her mother's family for a week... Can you sense my growing sense of panic? :) How do you deal with a chaotic moment which will be full of joy and excitement but totally draining for someone who needs her own space to recharge?
Lara:
Jun 05, 2013 11:24AM
q how does an extrovert become more introverted? i might be the only extrovert watching this! LOL. i found the book fascinating become i am an extrovert to the extreme.
Anita W:
Jun 05, 2013 11:24AM
How do we help introverted children? I am an introvert, but surprisingly have no clue on how to help my introverted child, who is not recognized as introverted by others.
Anita W:
Jun 05, 2013 11:25AM
q How do we help introverted children? I am an introvert, but surprisingly have no clue on how to help my introverted child, who is not recognized as introverted by others.
Joakim:
Jun 05, 2013 11:26AM
Thanks Patrick :)
Brian Dembkoski:
Jun 05, 2013 11:27AM
I want to read that play! (I'm a drama/Shakespeare teacher)
Scott Morgan:
Jun 05, 2013 11:28AM
Q: what might the next book be about?
Kerry McAvoy:
Jun 05, 2013 11:28AM
Q: (I apologize if you answered this question in your book ---I haven't read it yet.) Are introverts drawn to some careers more than others? I am introvert and am a psychologist. I also really enjoy people, but find spending lots of facetime with others fatiguing. My job allows me to explore interpersonal issues at a deep level while keeping the environment quieter. I am unable to work full-time since the number of hours requires too much time with other people which psychologically overwhelms me.
Bob Ayres:
Jun 05, 2013 11:29AM
Q: I loved the story of your grandfather, the Rabbi. Was he simple a role-model for you or did he help shape you directly? Were there other key influencers in your childhood?
Nestor Robles:
Jun 05, 2013 11:29AM
Q: As an introvert and doing my own research I find that a lot of introverts are highly perceptive, intelligent and more self-aware than there extroverted counterparts, but at the same time lack a serious sense of identity. If you considered identity just a combination of environmental stimulation and human temperaments mixing together through unconscious interactions of the world around. I find extroverts have a better perceived sense of self than introverts do because there not as introspective and don't question the reasoning of there actions and the world around them as a lot of introverts do, so by default they unconsciously solidify a persona or identity much more faster than introverts. Which leads me to my own findings of what constitutes as having an identity in the first place. Have you ever did any studies on the nature of identity and now with the aspects of introvertism and extrovertism at play?
Brian Burridge:
Jun 05, 2013 11:30AM
Q. As an introvert and having deep knowledge and love for the topics I have passion for, I feel like I could write well on those topics. I've wanted to write books and movie reviews since I was in high school (23 years) but feel like I would need to be an extrovert to actually get them published. Thoughts and suggestions on the transition from introverted thought expression via the written word, to extroverted sales person for those written pieces?
Momen Abdallah:
Jun 05, 2013 11:30AM
Hey susan, I love listening to you talking about introvert in a positive way, no one doing what you are doing, I hate being introvert but sometime I feel that this is not me I'm introvert but the people around me don't like that, I've start to ignore them until I ended up with one friend, I don't know what I need to do, do I need to visit a doctor or something,
Christian Villarroel:
Jun 05, 2013 11:30AM
Do you have some advice to overcome an interview being a introvert ?
Patricia Weber:
Jun 05, 2013 11:30AM
lost the sound. anyone else?
Brian Dembkoski:
Jun 05, 2013 11:31AM
Ack! We lost her! Release the hounds!
Stephen:
Jun 05, 2013 11:31AM
ain't technology grand?
Faith Morrill:
Jun 05, 2013 11:30AM
@Brian Burridge - I think that's a great question - I'm a writer, too, and I HATE working in sales, so I'm wondering how I'm ever going to get published!
Joakim:
Jun 05, 2013 11:31AM
wow an introvert's nightmare..
Karen Davis:
Jun 05, 2013 11:32AM
Confessions of a Ministry Introvert: http://www.christianitytoday.com/le/2...
Joakim:
Jun 05, 2013 11:34AM
and the mountain's echoed
Rose Summers:
Jun 05, 2013 11:34AM
Susan and Patrick, thank you for taking the time here and the enlightening discussion - it was a pleasure hearing your talk. And Susan, I loved Quiet and thank you for writing it. It was very true to my own experiences not only as a child, but as an introverted adult. And great to hear you're a big reader!
Joakim:
Jun 05, 2013 11:34AM
hussaini's new book...
Brian Dembkoski:
Jun 05, 2013 11:34AM
Thank you for your work! It was a "life-understanding" book for me, and the first time I was able to entertain the idea that there's nothing wrong with me being an Introvert. Thank you so much for that, Susan.
Patricia Weber:
Jun 05, 2013 11:34AM
thanks so much.
Maggie Harper:
Jun 05, 2013 11:34AM
thank you Susan
Lara:
Jun 05, 2013 11:34AM
Great presentation!
Faith Morrill:
Jun 05, 2013 11:35AM
Thanks, Susan!
Michael Odesola:
Jun 05, 2013 11:35AM
Thank so much for this live chat
Rosemarie Salvatore:
Jun 05, 2013 11:35AM
Thanks so much, Susan!
Edward Gerk:
Jun 05, 2013 11:35AM
Thank you!
Betsy Denning:
Jun 05, 2013 11:35AM
Thanks, very enjoyable!
Raymond Williams:
Jun 05, 2013 11:35AM
Thank You Susan, Quiet is the story of my life
Scott Strohm:
Jun 05, 2013 11:35AM
Thanks
Phil Beardmore:
Jun 05, 2013 11:35AM
Thank you Susan, look forward to your next book!
Andrew Lovis:
Jun 05, 2013 11:35AM
superb
Joakim:
Jun 05, 2013 11:36AM
I feel so empty now :(
Christian Villarroel:
Jun 05, 2013 11:36AM
muchas gracias Susan !
Andreia Moll:
Jun 05, 2013 11:36AM
Great chat, thank you so much!!!
Sabrina Avilan:
Jun 05, 2013 11:36AM
Thank you so much the goodreads team and Susan. Awesome chat for an awesome book!
Heidi Fishpaw:
Jun 05, 2013 11:37AM
Thanks Susan and wow it was so great reading everyone's questions, you all articulate a lot of what I am thinking but don't have time and energy to say, love the community that is coming up about this book!
Christine:
Jun 05, 2013 11:38AM
Thanks Susan, it was very interesting! Good work!
Alia:
Jun 05, 2013 11:40AM
Thanks Susan and Goodreads :)
Susan:
Jun 05, 2013 12:00PM
q I really feel like your ideas should be incorporated into the education system. Have you presented them to education agencies, the NEA or teachers, groups like that?
Carolyn Jackson:
Jun 05, 2013 01:09PM
I missed this discussion due to a last minute conflict. Will a transcript be accessible online?
Tom Scanlan:
Jun 05, 2013 02:06PM
q is the discussion still going on?
Tom Scanlan:
Jun 05, 2013 02:10PM
have you read any other books on this topic?
Kristin Fitzsimmons:
Jun 05, 2013 02:30PM
The video is archived on Livestream: http://www.livestream.com/goodreads/f...
Saravanan:
Jun 06, 2013 12:29AM
Who is philosophical in nature and has innate ability to think logically and follow their intuition?
Amjad:
Aug 23, 2013 02:10AM
hello
Robin Nardi:
Oct 13, 2013 05:31AM
I have read many of the comments on the book and they have covered what I think. I am an introvert, and after reading this book, I felt much better about myself. I have tried to "overcome" or force myself to like cocktail parties. Now I am resolved to stay where I am comfortable and try to change something that is not truly me. Thank you and all the folks commenting on this book.
Dhfan4life:
Feb 18, 2014 12:17PM
Dratz, I'm sorry I missed out on the live chat with the author. This was a truly amazing book. And I'm going to get a copy as soon as I can. Got the last one from the library and it was tough returning it.
Aimee List:
Feb 21, 2014 04:09PM
Thank you for making it okay to be quiet. I can't tell you how many times growing up, I was made to feel inadequate because I was shy. Your book changed how I viewed myself and how I am raising my introvert children.
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About Susan Cain

SUSAN CAIN is the author of the instant New York Times bestseller QUIET: The Power of Introverts in A World That Can’t Stop Talking, which has been translated into more than 20 languages. Her writing on introversion and shyness has appeared in the The New York Times; The Dallas Morning News; O, The Oprah Magazine; Time.com; and on PsychologyToday.com. Cain has also spoken at Microsoft, Google, the U.S. Treasury, and at TED 2012. Since her TED talk was posted online, it has been viewed almost two million times.
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