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Jul 05, 2012 12:56PM
Hi! I'm planning on entering the Camp NaNoWriMo challenge in August and I'm have been planning my character. I used the character basis outline from
Name: Luna Rintaro
Nickname: Sombra de Luna
General physical description: 5’6” straight black hair that falls past her waist, blue eyes, light caramel skin, lithe body, B cup breasts, short nails that are never long
Hometown: Blackstone, Virginia
Type of home: two story house, house sits on the outskirts of a large forest, three miles outside of town, koi pond out front, rose garden on the side of the house (Inside a green house or no?), roses make up the perimeter of the garden like a wall
Neighborhood: small town where everybody knows everyone, mixture of old and young, young people tend to go to another town 30 minutes away to hang out instead, Luna’s flower shop is in town
Relationship status: Widowed
Current family: None
Family background (parents, previous marriages, etc.): Father-Blake Wright Mother-Margarita Bautista. Both died in a car crash from a drunk driver when Luna was barely 18. Father’s side of the family doesn’t recognize Luna as family because she’s not white. Mother’s family in Mexico. Mother gave Luna the nickname Sombra de Luna, Moon Shadow, after a lavender rose. Says just like Snow White’s mother, she pricked her finger on this rose and just knew that’s what she should name her child. Husband, Ivan Rintaro, was a CEO and used her as a trophy wife. She was to be seen, not heard. The one who oppressed her due to her sex. Father’s side of the family recognized her as family during their brief marriage because of her sudden marriage into wealth. That ended upon husband’s death. Ivan died from a freak accident of a lightening strike. This incident spurred rumors about her being a witch in Blackstone. Received a dowry of sorts from her husband’s death. Only a small portion of his wealth that’s enough to live on, the rest went to his mistress and family.
Friends: Yuki Keito, pen pal in Japan. Met through one of her husband’s dinners. The only real friend she had.
Other close relationships: Welsh Corgi that’s sable with white markings. Fox like in appearance and follows Luna everywhere. Name is Thor, after the Norse Thunder God because of the circumstances of her husband’s death. Was given to her from Ivan the night he died.
Relationship with men: Men try to hit on her every chance they get. They do so in a respectful manner because they are afraid of being cursed. She tends to be oblivious to their attentions.
Relationship with women: Strained. They are jealous and a little afraid. They tend to be snarky and stuck up. Made her an outcast.
Job: Owns flower shop called Sombra de Luna. Mostly specializes in rose because of Luna’s own personal garden.
Dress style: Loose, lacy, flowy clothing. Favors pale colors like white, baby blue, and pale pink.
Attitude to religion: Doesn’t attend church, not religious, believes in God with respect but doesn’t follow any traditions. Favors a walk in the woods on Sundays instead of attending Church.
Favorite pastimes: tending her roses, reading, walking, watching the sun set, swimming
Hobbies: writes her own personal blog about herself, it tends to focus on her roses or random thoughts in her head
Favorite sports: None
Favorite foods: sushi, strawberry shortcake
Strongest positive personality trait: cheerful
Strongest negative personality trait: self loathing
Sense of humor: doesn’t joke around, loves to laugh but nothing has made her laugh so much since her parent’s death
Temper: mild temper, generally grins when angry and holds it all in
Consideration for others: very caring, always thinks of others before herself, considerably ignorant of any ill intent from others, can never say no to people
How other people see her: very beautiful and young looking, quiet, nice, widowed, cursed her husband to death, spaced out like she’s floating along in this world, air head
Opinion of herself: hates how her life turned out, great sense of loss, only feels average or plain looking, wonders if she’s doing something wrong if someone doesn’t like her, prefers her animals/flowers over people
Other traits, especially those to be brought out in story: has a strong sense of independence that gets filtered out through her actions of submissiveness, cynical, only nice to make it easier to live without conflict, hates herself for being so reserved, acts proper to hide her real desires, energetic, hard working, big heart, due to her life she’s reserved and comes off as quiet, always holding her emotions back, loves her roses and pets, never known real love
Ambitions: a successful business, quiet life with no conflict
Philosophy of life: don’t cause trouble or do anything to cause attention and live a quiet life
Most important thing to know about this character: has asthma, when she makes direct skin contact with other people she sometimes can get a glimpse into their memories, can’t be controlled, wears gloves all the time because of this
Will readers like or dislike this character, and why?: I’m trying to work at an angle where readers will relate to this character. Witness how she transforms from this quiet reserved girl to an outspoken woman after finding love. So the readers will take this character because of her struggles.
Any comments are appreciated!
, The Return Of Super Woman, Head Moderator
Jul 05, 2012 02:11PM
very believable character. She sounds spanish, which is good if you want to diversify race in your story, depending on how you word the character's actions, the readers will like it. For example a troublemaker who finds romance in another troublemaker that changes their personality is intriguing, but a troublemaker who is kidnapped or led to some scifi mystery isn't really interesting unless they are led to something of their past. i hope you get what i mean.
so in your case, i think you will be able to pull this story off. but the character cannot be totally quiet reserved and shy before she finds love. She could have a kick to her persona that no one will know about. In my opinion if this girl had a hidden talent like playing the guitar and songwriting she shares with a 'lover' and they start playing together it sounds too kiddie to me. I like physical and emotional romance.
I'm guessing in this love search story you will make her love opposite personality to her. Unoriginal, but the easiest to go and often leads to huger successes. Unless you want both of them to be shy and reserved but if you can make an excellent plot for the story and lovable scenes for you CampNanoWrimo contest, good work.
Jul 12, 2012 02:38PM
Ingrid wrote: "very believable character. She sounds spanish, which is good if you want to diversify race in your story, depending on how you word the character's actions, the readers will like it. For example a ..."
Thanks. I'm still tweaking her character. I think a lot of things clash and I need to work out exactly how I want her to be first and then post again.
, The Return Of Super Woman, Head Moderator
Jul 12, 2012 04:43PM
great:D happy for you:)
Jul 16, 2012 03:35PM
What would be a good hobby to give to Luna? I don't think music would be something I'd enjoy writing. Painting is a maybe. Any suggestions?
, The Return Of Super Woman, Head Moderator
Jul 17, 2012 03:07PM
well hobbies can come from time span and setting. Maybe if she is from Virginia she could play a sport or hunt something popular there. Or if the time span is in the 2999s maybe computing or dancing could be a hobby. But i usually use hobbies that relate to their past. ex: strong connection ties between girl and estranged sister equal journalism as hobby or singing or a duo hobby.
i think your lead on painting is definitely hitting me too. painting drawing, reading (but it could be of dark novels or spontaneous action ones to throw off a reader) or art or cooking. sry tht is all i have
Oct 15, 2012 01:38PM
Name: Draylil (No last name)
Species: Water Dragon
Age: about 125
Appearance: She 13 feet tall and 25 feet long. She has tough skin but grows white feathers not scales. Her wings are like swan wings. Her eyes are big and dark blue. And she has paws with small hidden webbing, unlike most dragons that have bird like talons.
Living place: The Eastern Water temples, located in the Aquarein Kingdom. The Eastern water temples where built on mountain tops and are Some of the largest temples known to dragon-kind. They were built around waterfalls and rivers, but some were built in.
postition: Elder in training- This explains the reason she lives in the Eastern air temples. her parents were known for there battle skills and wisdom. This earned Draylil a high role in dragon society. The role of an elder is to protect the territory and magic in which has been gathered for centuries. They are very tough and strong, also kind and gentle.
Friends and family: Her mom was a Water dragon and her dad fire. Her parents left her when she was only 20 years of age to go fight(young for a dragon). they won the battle but were killed. it's unusual for water dragons to leave there young, but is common for most of the other species. She is friends With another dragon named Silver-eye how looks similar to her except his eyes are silver and his feathers are blue. He is one of six dragons including Draylil that are in training to be the next generation of elders. She's is very found of a young dragon that works around the temples. She doesn't like the elders because she thinks they are to serious and make to many rules.
Favorite things: she loves to eat water lilies, prefers cooled water, and clear skies.
Hobbies: She loves to fly, probably more than any other dragon. She spends most of her free time learning and perfecting flying tricks. The elders get mad because they want her to be learning and practicing battle flying techniques and not playing around.
Personality: Very fun loving and playful. Normally doesn't warm up to strangers very easily. She is skilled in fighting but loves to fly. despite her fun-loving personality most dragons or creatures don't like her because of her temper. She loves to collect old things. she has a health curiosity but sometimes it gets her into dangerous situations. Although most water dragons are very good at healing, She has never been able to understand the it or master it. she also is very interested in other creatures like humans and fey, ect. But Most dragons scold her about that because most believe they are the dominant species. But none the less Draylil finds there societies more interesting and personal.
Side note: ( although dragons live side by side they normally are reserved and keep to themselves, with the exception of the elders, because trust is essential between them. and because they are kinda the heart of dragon society.)
relationship: She is totally clueless at romance and never really thinks about it. Besides elders aren't allowed to have a mate.
Beliefs: she believes in an all big creator, which is nontraditional for dragons. the normal belief is that the stars and the anonymous 'fate' is in control of everything.
Other: Doesn't think things though most of the time. Likes to relax rather then train. She gets in a lot of arguments but doesn't like to fight unless in a rage. She normally keeps to herself. In battle she has fought in she has made many mistakes and regrets them all. She constantly lives under the shadow of her parents. Water to her is like the friend she tells all her secrets to and the sky is her way to freedom.
History: Her parents were elders in a time of war. The last and final battle that brought peace to the land was the one they died in. Draylil's parents like most weren't kind loving to her. She is always looked at as the dragon that will become a great elder. Dragons think she'll be just like her parents and are normally disappointed when they meet her. She tries to put on an act of good trainee, but most see through it. She has a big temper for a water dragon. And the elders always seem to be looking for more from her than the rest of the trainee dragons. they always seem to be waiting and watching. She new that her dad was a fire dragon, but that never mattered because her mothers side was dominant and She had been tested to see if she had any of her fathers side in her, but she didn't. Besides it wasn't uncommon for every once in a while for to different types of dragons to bond and mate. Once she let her temper get the best of her, again, and asked why they always wanted more? What did she do that was so much more important than the rest? They sent her off without an answer. That same night she went searching for clues and found some scrolls about her parents. Before she could read them she was caught. Ever since then she has tried to ignore it but, something keeps nagging at her. she had never gotten to know her parents.
I really want to build her up to have good characteristics, ones that are realistic. So any comments are welcomed or constructive criticism is welcome!
Oct 18, 2012 09:21AM
... Please.. someone! XD any comments are welcome... I really want to know what people think! :P
Oct 18, 2012 01:23PM
XD really?! I thought she didn't seem very... well um.. how to put it.... I just felt she didn't have enough personality! But I'm glad you like her! She is going to be my main character. I also have another. He is a boy. But I feel like i need help on giving him a more manly personality... I'll post him and constructive criticism is welcome! ^.^
(last edited Oct 18, 2012 01:25PM)
Oct 18, 2012 01:24PM
(sorry about the bad writing, i was just rushing through the writing and just got lazy -.-)
Species: Fire dragon.
Appearance: a few feet taller than Draylil. Grey rock solid skin with hints of red like burning coals (no scale or feathers) two medium sized horns that look like pieces put together and side spikes. Black as night eyes. Oval shaped head. He has more of a classic talons like feet. Muscular but not too much.
Living place: lives in the land of flame… but he says he lived in a water dragon village. O.o
Position: He used to be a black smith….
Friends and family: No friends, family thought dead.
Favorite things: A hot day , love to eat deer. Loves looking at stars
Hobbies: practicing breathing fire. Likes to fight and work out. Seems to think a lot.
Personality: Kinda a gives you the cold shoulder at first. Can be suspicious. Easily motivated and good liar. Very protective over his family (when they were alive). Regrets not being able to save his family. Can be a jerk. He likes to tease. Very intense. Almost always stays with a decision when he makes one. Likes to do things on his own and thinks he can take care of himself. Stubborn and blunt.
Relationship: doesn’t have time for one. Doesn’t want to get involved with someone like that.
Beliefs: He thinks that they go somewhere after death. But he doesn’t exactly know, maybe you’ll go to a heaven or a hell.
Other: likes to think things through. Always makes sure that there is a plan. Always seems to be stressed and working. doesn’t trust creatures that aren’t dragons.
History: Had a good home life. He loved to hunt with his parents and play with his little sister. His parents were apart of the land of flames council. They always excepted a lot out of him but it was never a big deal. His father and mother let them stay with them even when they were suppose to leave and go out into the world. Mostly because ther had been news of war for a long time and they didn’t want their first hatchlings to die right off the bat.
Side notes: (at the age of 40 human years is when most dragons leave their home. Sometimes they might stay for an extra 20 more years but most dragons don’t care for there first offspring enough to keep them longer. Because dragons have about 3 to 4 batches of offspring)
***- I haven't given him a name because i was waiting to build his personality first and base it off of that. instead of the other way around.-*****
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