"Boys are so confusing. I don't know why they say Venus and Mars. I mean, Mars and Venus at least have something common - they're planets. It's more like Mars and a bowl of soup.

Thank you, all, what a trip down memory lane. Such a great show

I don't know if anyone has posted this yet, but it's one of the scenes from the beginning of season 5 where Luke tries to cook Lorelai breakfast at her house. It just makes me laugh :)

Luke: Your coffee should be ready in a minute.
Lorelai: Smell's good...heyy Luke? You cooking this is soo sweet.
Luke: But...
Lorelai: I just figured, you know, we'd go to Luke's for breakfast.
Luke: Why?
Lorelai: Because I like Luke's breakfast.
Luke:I am Luke.
Lorelai:I know.
Luke:And this is the same stuff I make at the diner.
Lorelai:I know.
Luke:So what's the difference?
Lorelai: Well the differnce is that while you are Luke, we're not at Luke's.
Luke: So.
Lorelai: Well I have my things you know, I have certain things, and one of my things is going to Luke's and just because I now have..dating Luke, doesn't mean I wanna lose my cooking Luke.
Luke: But I am cooking, and I am Luke.
Lorelai:Look, it's like Tommy Lee having a Starbucks in his house.
Luke:What?
Lorelai:On the surface it sounds great, but half the reason you go to a Starbucks is to you know, go out and see the people.
Luke:Tommy Lee has a Starbucks in his house?
Lorelai:Cribs, baby, watch it.
Luke:Like a whole Starbucks, with workers and everything?
Lorelai:The point is, that while some things have changed, and that's great, I don't want everything to change, completely.
Luke: Ok. I'll see you at Luke's.
Lorelai: Ah! I'll see you at Luke's!

Rebecca wrote: "Lane's Mom to Rory: "Boys don't like funny girls!""

I loved Lane's mom and how she was so funny.

Lane's Mom to Rory: "Boys don't like funny girls!"

Rory: (to Paris) Gah, you're like the pop-up book from hell!

One of my favorite quotes, that I didn't see posted here, is from one of the episodes that had Trix in it. Emily, Richard, Lorelai and Trix are having dinner at the Dragonfly and Emily has made a small handful of peas last forever.

Lorelai leans over and says, "That'll do, Pig. That'll do."

Some of my favorites

LORELAI: Lorelai Gilmore, disappointing mothers since 1968

LORELAI: Twenty-three is old. It's almost twenty-five, which is, like, almost mid-twenties.
RORY: She did not say that.
LORELAI: She did say that.
RORY: It seems a little wrong that Jessica Simpson is alive and well and Roy got eaten by his tiger.
LORELAI: Aw. Survival of the fittest, baby.

RORY: Miss Patty’s leftover punch is used to remove tar from construction
sites.
PARIS: Then let it remove the tar from our souls.

LORELAI: I’ll have to get drunk and make out with the best man. Who is Rory. So you can see all the creepy ramifications of your absence here.

LORELAI: We are not gonna have this fight in a flowery bedroom with dentists singing "Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves" in the background. It's too David Lynch!

LORELAI: You can't always help who you're attracted to. I think Billy Bob Thorton and Angelina Jolie proved that.

TotallyTwilightFan!*In Love With Edward Cullen!* wrote: "my all time favorite line in the Gilmore Girls would be "Oi, with the poodle's already.""
I'm with you 100%! Especially when it's referred to later: "Oy with the poodles already! Knocking "What you talkin bout Willis?" right out of first place."

Misty wrote: "Emily wrote: "Also the entire Cat Kirk & Human Kirk episode has my sides aching from laughing so hard. "

I love that.
"Maybe I could just get my mom to say "Cat Kirk" when she's calling the cat an..."

Absolutely. There was a cat living in my yard for 3 years, and I just recently realized this and I've named it Cat Kirk. I've never actually met the cat though. I don't like cats. But I hear from my family that it's a nice cat. (If there's such a thing.)

my all time favorite line in the Gilmore Girls would be "Oi, with the poodle's already."

Emily wrote: "Also the entire Cat Kirk & Human Kirk episode has my sides aching from laughing so hard. "

I love that.
"Maybe I could just get my mom to say "Cat Kirk" when she's calling the cat and "Human Kirk" when she's calling me. I'm glad I ran into you."

Kirk is one of the best characters of any show, all time, hands down.

Lori- self-confidence quote = genious :) I wonder if Amy wrote that episode... Have any of you seen her in any interviews? She is a very intelligent woman.

And my favorite funny quote would have to be when Lorelai and Rory get their Christmas cards and they are looking at the one with the ugly baby. Here's the dialogue -
Lorelai: Don't they know we are unapologetic mockers?
Rory: There's an unexplained innocence in the world.

I don't know why, I just love that one. Also the entire Cat Kirk & Human Kirk episode has my sides aching from laughing so hard.

Lori -- LOOOOOOve the self-confidence quote -- who couldn't use that once in awhile, no matter how beautiful/smart/funny, etc we are...Thanks for catching that one!

I don't know if these are already up yet, but...

I've adapted this one to my everyday life before and I plan on doing so in the future:
Lorelai: 'Mom, I'm getting married.' I'm an idiot. And you know, as my mouth was opening my mind was screaming, 'Don't do it, I mean it, you'll regret it.' But did my mouth listen?
Rory: No.
Lorelai: No. And it opened and the words came out, and Emily was Emily, and my mouth was stunned. And my mind said 'I told you so.' And then my mouth got mad because no mouth like's to have it's nose rubbed in it. And now my mind and my mouth aren't talking, and it'll be weeks before we can get the boys together again.
Rory: Your mouth has a nose?

And this other one, which I couldn't find on the IMDB site (surprisingly) for accurate quoting, but I love it and think about it sometimes:
Lorelai: Am I more beautiful today than I was yesterday? At first, I thought, "Well, yes, definitely. Huge improvement." But then I got to thinking, maybe I'm just as beautiful today as I was yesterday only yesterday I lacked the self-confidence to realize it.

Oh yeah, and this one too: Rory is telling Lorelai about going over to Dean's house.

RORY: And then we watched TV.

LORELAI: Oh, you mean you "watched TV?" Use the air quotes, Sweetie.

RORY: Well, his little sister was there.

LORELAI: Oh, so you watched TV.

I just noticed this one and I thought it was pretty funny.

KIRK(to Lorelai): Ah, here you are, if I could just have a minute of your time.

LORELAI: I'll give you two, because you scare me.

Jillybean wrote: "this ones a bit long but funny!

[Emily's friend 'Sweetie' has just passed away:]
Lorelai: Was that her real name - Sweetie?
Emily: No, her name was Melinda. Sweetie was a nickname.
Lorelai: Why?
E..."

I love that she throws in dill pickle. Where did that come from?

Christina wrote: "Too many but here's two:

Lorelei: "That's because I'm not Orthodox, I'm liberal with a touch of Reform and a smidgen of zippity-pow."

Lorelei: I mean, how would I pass the time until my one and o..."

hahahaha this is one of my favorites too. I like to call my friends loin-fruit now :)

Melissa wrote: ""Because my brain is a wild jungle full of scary gibberish...I'm writing a letter...I can't write a letter...why can't I write a letter?...I'm wearing a green dress...I wish I was wearing my blue d..."

hahaha I LOVE this one! I say it to my boyfriend all the time!

Hi! I'm new to the group, but a die hard GG fan. How about this little gem from "Knit, People, Knit" in season 7.

LORELAI: Pancakes at Al's?

SOOKIE: Jackson is off of wheat. But, ooh, how about country night at Miss Patty's?

LORELAI: Chris and Jackson?

SOOKIE: Well I mean, Jackson is a fiendish two-stepper, but he's handsy.

hahahaha that one gets me every time.

Lorelei: "He called me hot plates, he soooo likes me"

oh these are good

I don't know if anyone has posted this one, but I was watching a rerun the other day, and heard this lovely exchange:
(Paris is talking about finding the seedy underbelly of Stars Hollow)

Rory: Paris, Stars Hollow doesn't have a seedy underbelly. We don't even have a meter-maid.

Dini wrote: "I think that season had a lot of LOTR references. Remember that LOTR-themed party that Lorelai and Sookie catered for? The writers must be fans. "
Yes, they did pick up that phase--not surprisingly. Had enough literary pedigree to keep the girls happy, and let's face it, a couple of the LOTR men came out of nowhere to capture quite a few female imaginations!

I think that season had a lot of LOTR references. Remember that LOTR-themed party that Lorelai and Sookie catered for? The writers must be fans.

Barbara wrote: "Not sure which season--but it must've been later in the series--and I'm not sure I have it right but it's Lorelai, to Rory: "I don't want you to think I'm one of those women sitting at home thinkin..."

sooo true!

Not sure which season--but it must've been later in the series--and I'm not sure I have it right but it's Lorelai, to Rory: "I don't want you to think I'm one of those women sitting at home thinking, 'If only I could find a man like Aragorn.'"

And all of us LOTR-fans just sighed...

I only have season one on DVD, but I will get it out and watch it today.

Kate wrote: "This one is really long but it's hilarious!

LORELAI: I mean, they were extremely common until just recently. Historically recently. Not recently like "metrosexual is a word now" recently, but rece..."

Again, it's Emily that I love in this one.

Jillybean wrote: "this ones a bit long but funny!

[Emily's friend 'Sweetie' has just passed away:]
Lorelai: Was that her real name - Sweetie?
Emily: No, her name was Melinda. Sweetie was a nickname.
Lorelai: Why?
E..."

Gotta love Emily!

This one is really long but it's hilarious!

LORELAI: I mean, they were extremely common until just recently. Historically recently. Not recently like "metrosexual is a word now" recently, but recently.

EMILY: Are we still talking about anvils?

LORELAI: Yes, where did all the anvils go?

EMILY: Your talking about those big, heavy metal things?

LORELAI: That blacksmiths hammered horseshoes and stuff on. Everyone had them. They were featured prominently in every move Western, so where did they all go?

RICHARD: I don't know that they were that common.

LORELAI: Wile E. Coyote used them. That's how common they were.

EMILY: Who?

LORELAI: The cartoon. He was always trying to drop an anvil on the Road Runner's head or shoot it at him out of a giant slingshot or fire it at him out of a cannon. Inevitably the cannon tilted up, shot it in the air and it fell down and made an anvil-shaped impression on Wile E. Coyote's head.

EMILY: This is a cartoon?

LORELAI: No, this happened to me the other day. I was walking down the street and this giant anvil - yes, mother, it was a cartoon.

RORY: I know she sounds nuts, but it's a very common cartoon.

RICHARD: But that doesn't prove that anvils were so common.

LORELAI: It does! It proves that anvils were so ubiquitous at one point - [turning to Rory:] was that the word, ubiquitous?

RORY: Depends on where your going.

LORELAI: That they knew that children would know what they were and delight in them. That's how common they were, children watching cartoons.

RORY: That was the word.

RICHARD: I've forgotten your point.

LORELAI: Where are all the anvils? I mean, is there some secret storage facility that the government is keeping from us?

RICHARD: Or they fell into disuse with the advent of other technologies and so they melted them down and they're gone.

LORELAI: But they're not supposed to melt. They were made to withstand the red-hot hammer of the town blacksmith.

EMILY: This is easily the most pointless conversation we've ever had.

LORELAI: I don't hear anyone chiming in with rational theories.

EMILY: Please change the subject. I beg of you. Anyone?

I don't know if this has been posted already, but oh well I thought it was really funny!

In season 7 at an infamous Friday night dinner among talks of Rory's finals at Yale, Emily and Richard have some news for Rory.

EMILY: Well, your grandfather and I have a little surprise for you. (Richard smiles excitedly)

LORELAI: Uh oh.

EMILY: What?

LORELAI: Did you name another building after her?

EMILY: No.

LORELAI: No I know, I know. You bought Yale and named it Rory. From now on the Ivy League is gonna be Harvard, Princeton, and Rory. Has a nice sound though.

RORY: Mmm. Has a nice ring to it.

LORELAI: "Hey I'll meet ya at the Rory/Harvard game.

Haha!

HAHAAAHAHAAHA

this is a good one :)

[Group is performing R & J as cavemen:]
SOOKIE: Are you sure this is Shakespeare?

DEAN: What's with all the grunting?

LORELAI: I wish Luke was here, he could translate for us.

yeah

mrs kim is tres funny!

yeah SOOOO funny

i think i'm becoming obsessed with mrs kim


MRS. KIM: Who are you, what do you want?

LANE: Mama.

MRS. KIM: Do you know this boy?

LANE: Well –

DAVE: Uh, no, actually, I just heard a bunch of people talking outside about the sandwiches and I thought that I would come in and maybe try one. I'm sorry, may I? [Mrs. Kim hands him a sandwich:] Thank you. [takes a bite:] That's delicious.

LANE: Really?

DAVE: May I have another one for later please?

MRS. KIM: Yes, that's fine. Take another one.

DAVE: Thank you. You know, my parents would love these sandwiches. I wish I could bring ‘em by but unfortunately they're in private bible study right now.

MRS. KIM: Bible study?

DAVE: Say, how long are you serving?

MRS. KIM: Why?

DAVE: Well, I thought that if they got out in time I could bring ‘em on over.

MRS. KIM: Well, the bread is only good for another twenty minutes, after that there's no point. You chip a tooth.

DAVE: Okay. So if I can get my parents back here in twenty minutes, then you'll still be serving, but in thirty you're done?

MRS. KIM: That's right.

DAVE: Great. So if for some reason I'm not back here in twenty minutes, that means that I'm gonna be over there, on the church steps, waiting for my parents to get out so that I can tell them about the great sandwiches that they missed. Okay? Okay, great. Thanks a lot and I hope to see you soon. [leaves:]

MRS. KIM: I hope he comes back. He seemed hungry.

found this one today~~
"You sure you don't want some tea? Tea usually makes things like this a little less awkward. There's things to hold and stir."
- Mia, to Emily

I love mrs. kim, she is one of the funniest charachters!!

DEAN: Hello? Lane? Are you here?

(Mrs. Kim suddenly appears from behind a room divider, startling Dean.)

DEAN: Geez.

MRS. KIM: Who are you? Why you call Lane?

DEAN: I Uh.

MRS. KIM: How you know Lane?

DEAN: Well. . .

MRS. KIM: You date her?

DEAN: No.

MRS. KIM: You try to?

DEAN: No.

MRS. KIM: Then why you here?

DEAN: I . . .

MRS. KIM: Empty your pockets

DEAN: Okay, I'm gonna go now.

(Lane comes running down the steps.)

LANE: Dean! Wait, wait.

MRS. KIM: Who's Dean?

DEAN: I'm Dean.

MRS. KIM: How you know Dean?

LANE: We go to school together.

MRS. KIM: You do?

DEAN: Yeah, we're science partners.

MRS. KIM: You don't talk!

DEAN: Sorry.

MRS. KIM: You're science partners?

LANE: Yes Mama, I invited him over to work.

MRS. KIM: Work?

LANE: On our science project.

MRS. KIM: Reproduction?

LANE: Spores, molds and fungus.

MRS. KIM: Science project?

LANE: Yes.

MRS. KIM: For school?

LANE: Yes Mama.

MRS. KIM: You're not dating?

LANE: No Mama.

MRS. KIM: Okay, follow me. (leads them into the kitchen) You sit here. You sit here. I'm going over there, when I come back over here, these chairs will be in same place. No moving, you understand?

LANE: Yes mama.

DEAN: Not you, him!

DEAN: Uh, yes, I understand.

MRS. KIM: I see all. (Mrs. Kim leaves the kitchen.)

DEAN: So that's your mom?

LANE: That's my mom.

DEAN: Has she seen Patton?

LANE: She just gets uptight about boys.

DEAN: I sensed something like that.

LANE: Its nothing personal.

DEAN: I know, I'm sure once she gets to know me she'll. . .

LANE: Oh no, she'll hate you forever. It's just nothing personal.

oh man this is such an awful thing to say to someone its hilarious...can't stop laughing

Paris: So do you like your adoptive parents?
Girl in the dorm: Yeah.
Paris: I think it's good to be adopted. If you get sick of them, you just dump this set and go find the originals.



heehee~~
Lorelai: Rory is very low maintenance. Kind of like that robot kid in A.I., only way less mother-obsessed. Oh my God, that kid was so annoying. I would've pushed him out of the car while it was still moving.

i love sookie :)
Sookie: Oh, that makes me so mad. And so sad. I'm smad.

too funny:
[Emily and Richard have split up:]
Emily: At some point you have to face facts, and the facts are, he's moved on. And therefore I should move on also.
Lorelai: Absolutely. MoveOn.org.
Emily: [pause:] I think it's time for me to date.
Lorelai: [chokes on her drink:] Oh, my God.
Emily: I want to go on a date.
Lorelai: With - a *man*?
Emily: No, a weasel. Of course, a man!
Lorelai: I'm not hearing this.
Emily: Well, why shouldn't I date? I'm still a viable commodity.
Lorelai: I need a paper towel and a Valium, please.
Emily: There are plenty of men at the club who, in the past, have made their interest in me known, I just need to figure out how to reciprocate their feelings. You have a lot of experience with men. How do you let them know that you're available?
Lorelai: Well, one of those bench ads usually does the trick.
Emily: Lorelai, stop it. I need help here. It's been years since I did this, and I don't remember the proper procedure! Now take me through this step-by-step. You see a man, you walk up to him and you say...
Lorelai: ...Hello.
Emily: Is that too forward?
Lorelai: No, it's the appropriate way to indicate you're open to a social engagement. Unless, however, you are approaching a weasel. Then I believe the proper signal is just to offer him your hindquarters.
[Emily glares:]

i choked on my tongue~~
Kirk: If you'll just follow me, I would like to present you with my new line of one-of-a-kind mailboxes.
Lorelai: Wow. They look very nice, Kirk.
Kirk: And whimsical. They say to the world, "I'll take my mail with a smile."
Lorelai: Yes, they do say that.
Kirk: And since you are one of our preferred customers, with the purchase of one of our mailboxes, I'll throw in a carved-duck doorstop and a garlic peeler.
Lorelai: Wow. That's quite an offer, Kirk. But I think it's a little early to pick a mailbox. We haven't even settled on a color for the inn yet.
Kirk: Well, whimsy goes with everything.
Lorelai: Kirk, I promise, just as soon as... is that Condoleezza Rice?
Kirk: Yes, it is. I'm a fan and her big mouth is perfect for shoving mail in.

this ones a bit long but funny!

[Emily's friend 'Sweetie' has just passed away:]
Lorelai: Was that her real name - Sweetie?
Emily: No, her name was Melinda. Sweetie was a nickname.
Lorelai: Why?
Emily: What do you mean, why?
Lorelai: I mean, how did they get Sweetie from Melinda?
Emily: They didn't get Sweetie from Melinda. Sweetie is a nickname.
Lorelai: Yes, I know Sweetie was a nickname, but usually, a nickname comes from a version of your name, or there's a story behind the name or something.
Emily: She was sweet. That's the story.
Lorelai: Okay.
Emily: She had a very sweet nature.
Lorelai: Hmm.
Emily: Well, what kind of story did you want, Lorelai?
Lorelai: No, that's fine. She was sweet. They called her Sweetie. It's a good story.
Emily: No, really. Exactly what kind of story about my recently departed friend would amuse you?
Lorelai: Mom, it's not to amuse me. It's...
Emily: All right, fine. Sweetie's father was a very poor man - so poor that Sweetie and her four siblings all had to sleep in a hollowed-out tree trunk because the house was only big enough for their parents. One winter, there was no food, so Sweetie crawled out of her trunk, wrapped her feet in newspaper, and walked forty miles in the snow to the nearest town, where she stumbled into a candy store. The owner took pity on her and gave her bags of candy, a dill pickle, and drove her back to her family. He promptly offered a job to her father, who gladly accepted and eventually owned that store and turned it into one of the most important candy emporiums in the world. And that is how she got the name Sweetie. There, how was that?
Lorelai: Now, that was a pretty good story.

Stephanie wrote: "Luke: "Kirk. What's with the..."
Kirk: "It's not a purse."
Luke: "I wasn't going to say that."
Kirk: "Oh."
Luke: "What's with the gay bag?"

Kirk: "Say I was Tom Cruise, where would you sit me?"
Lu..."

i laughed so hard i woke up my sleeping kitty

yeah ik

Ha Ha HA. Gilmore Girls is so dang funny!!

lol

(The Independence Inn has to fire people and Michel just adopted puppies.)

Michel(to Lorelai): Oh! I have to go buy dog food. Will you fire Frank for me?

lol

This maybe my all time favorite quote. It just gets stuck in my head all the time. I've been singing this song all week.

Minister [aka one time town troubadour hopeful and veggie stand owner:]: [strolls into the gazebo singing and strumming a guitar:] As kids we shared our toys/with all the girls and boys/barrel of monkeys/your battleship sunk me/please recall the joy/Wheelo, Clue, Mousetrap/bash and spirograph/kaleidoscopes spinning/Yahtzee I'm winning/think of how we laughed/but today we share our love/today we share our love/for love is the greatest toy around/around, around
Luke: [trying not to laugh:] Help.
Lorelai: Think of something not funny.
Luke: Can't.
Minister: You may plant the ceremonial sword.
[Together, Liz and T.J. plunge a sword into a tree stump.:]
Lorelai: Avalanches, earthquakes...
Luke: Not doin' it.
Lorelai: Famine...and I'm out.

lol i love their arguments 2

My favorite is the mattress bit in Season 4, 'The Lorelais' First Day at Yale'.

Lorelai: Well, I can't take it back to Yale.
Luke: I'm not storing your microbe mattress, forget it.
Lorelai: Well, then I'm stuck here.
Luke: Fine, because I need my truck back.
Lorelai: Fine, but that leaves you with the mattress.
Luke: I'm not taking the mattress.
Lorelai: Then let me take the truck.
Luke: But that means you take the mattress.
Lorelai: I can't take the mattress.
Luke: Then you can't have the truck.
Lorelai: But that sticks you with the mattress.
Luke: If you take the truck, it comes with the mattress.
Lorelai: I can't take the mattress.
Luke: Then you can't have the truck.
Lorelai: And that sticks you with the mattress.
Luke: We've been here before.
Lorelai: I recognize that tree.