I think you should replace nuts with balls. There is nothing funny about balls in Spanish. Gonads either.

hehehehehe, swallows. goddamnit i'm highbrow.

Swallows and Amazons by Arthur Ransome Montamboss.

my son likes to read from the bible so he can use the word "ass" w/o getting in trouble.

What book is that, Bunny?

I'm reading a book aloud to some kids this month, and its a really good book but one of the main characters is named/nicknamed Titty. I admit I deliberately mispronounce it as Tiddy. Just to make my life easier.

Yeah, that bit about "Pussy oh pussy, what a wonderful pussy you are" is a bit hard to get through without a snicker...

I don't want to take away your innocense, Dave. If you don't know, I won't tell you.

What's so funny about the word "Owl"?

I get that all the time. I'll never be able to read The Owl and the Pussycat, again.

Everytime I read a story to my small group of students a book that has the word "nuts" in it, they get all giggley.

All of the students but one speak Spanish, so I explained to them that, in the same way that I don't giggle every time I hear the word "eggs" (in Spanish eggs & testicles are similar to the English version of nuts & testicles) they should be mature enough to get through a story without giggling at the word nuts.

HERES THE PROBLEM. I do giggle at both those words and I exploit the hell out of weiner jokes (as do all my family/friends) when we're roasting hot dogs or having anything with buns in general.

and just yesterday, during "crazy hat day" a teacher wore a hat with a hot dog on the top. You better believe I had a hay day making the MOST immature "weiner on her jokes" imaginable.

Damn, I hate being a hypocrite but I'm sooooo good at it!