Mikhail Bulgakov's The Master and Margarita (showing 1-12 of 12)

[Nate D comment history]

I'm reading The Master and Margarita for the second time. Last time, maybe 5 years back, I read the new Penguin Classics edition (Richard Pevear translation) and I enjoyed it but wasn't as bowled over as I expected from this being the favorite novel of many friends. So this time, having totally loved the language in Mirra Ginsberg's fantastic translation of Yevgeny Zamyatin's The Dragon: Fifteen Stories, I decided to go with her older 1967 version. Of course, this means going back to a translation based on the censored soviet publication, whereas new translations are based on the uncensored original manuscript. But I have several editions, so I can jump back and forth if I need to catch a deleted scene.

Anyway, there are actually at least six English translations now, and this is a comparison of an early passage, both idiosyncratic and lyrical:

1. Mirra Ginsberg's, 1967:

Oh, yes, we must take note of the first strange thing about that dreadful May evening. Not a soul was to be seen around--not only at the stall, but anywhere along the entire avenue, running parallel to Malaya Bronnaya. At that hour, when it no longer seemed possible to breathe, when the sun was tumbling in a dry haze somewhere behind Sadovoye Circle, leaving Moscow scorched and gasping, nobody came to cool off under the lindens, to sit down on a bench. The avenue was deserted. (Ginsberg, p.3)

"tumbling in a dry haze"? See, it's gorgeous.

2. Richard Pevear's, for Penguin Classics, probably currently the most popular:

Ah, yes, note must be made of the first oddity of this dreadful May evening. There was not a single person to be seen, not only at the stand, but also along the whole walk parallel to Malaya Bronnaya Street. At that hour when it seemed no longer possible to breathe, when the sun, having scorched Moscow, was collapsing in a dry haze somewhere beyond Sadovoye Ring, no one came under the lindens, no one sat on a bench, the walk was empty. (Pevear, p.7)

So here the sun is "collapsing", but it works.

3. Diana Burgin and Katherine O'Connor's. 1995, one of the first translations of the complete text:

And here it is worth noting the first strange thing about that terrible May evening. Absolutely no one was to be seen, not only by the refreshment stand, but all along the tree-lined path that ran parallel to Malaya Bronnaya Street. At a time when no one, it seemed, had the strength to breathe, when the sun had left Moscow scorched to a crisp and was collapsing in a dry haze somewhere behind Sadovoye Ring, no one came to walk out under the lindens, or to sit down on a bench, and the path was deserted. (Burgin and O'Connor, p.3)

Hmmm, they've lost Bulgakov's singular ahem-ing at the start, those little unneccessary bits that makes it feel like he's yanking on my arm and confiding the details as they occur to him. But otherwise similarly solid.

4. And Michael Karpelson's, also newer:

By the way, it is worthwhile to note the first strange thing about that horrible May afternoon. Not a single human was to be found in the vicinity of the booth or, indeed, in the entire alley that ran parallel to Malaya Bronnaya Street. At an hour when it seemed almost impossible to breath, when the sun, scorching Moscow, was plunging into the dry haze somewhere beyond Sadovoye Ring Road, no one sought shelter in the shade of the lindens, no one sat down on the benches. Empty was the alley. (Karpelson, p.3)

"Empty was the alley"? Really? And "By the way"? And now the sun is neither plunging nor collapsing. Hmmm. Well.

5. And then there's Michael Glenny. Glenny, somehow, got the nod from the Translator's Association in that 50 translations list, for his old 1967 version. Oh Michael Glenny:

The was an oddness about that terrible day in May that is worth recording: not only at the kiosk but along the whole avenue running parallel to Malaya Bronnaya Street there was not a person to be seen. It was the hour of the day when people feel too exhausted to breath, when Moscow glows in a dry haze as the sun disappears behind the Sadovaya Boulevard--yet no one had come out for a walk under the limes, no one was sitting on a bench, the avenue was empty. (Glenny, p.3)

Limes? Clumsy sentence structure? And hilariously, the drink stand sign, which both the others translate as "Beer and Soft Drinks", says "Beer and Minerals" in Glenny's version. Let's not read the Glenny.

AND THEN, when they try to order drinks, Ginsberg says they asked for "Narzan", which I found on a mineral water review website:

Most famous water in Russia. It comes from Northern Caucasus mountain spa town Kislovodsk. Very pleasent place. The word (non russian) Narzan means 'sour water' as well as the russia name Kislovodsk. You can go there, it is a peaceful town, and see how 'Narzan' pours out of the earth and drink it, free of charge.

Interesting. And highly specific. (My girlfriend tells me this can be found in Brighton Beach and is pretty gross). Burgin/O'Connor uses "Narzan water". But Pevear just reduces it to "seltzer" and Glenny, despite having some idea that minerals were involved (from his weird translation of the sign), somehow gets "lemonade". Let's not read the Glenny.

6. Hugh Alpin's for Oneworld Classics. This is from 2007, the newest of all. But I've never seen this edition, and I can't seem to find much word on the quality. Anyone?

It seems like this is a matter of much debate. As I said, Glenny and Ginsberg both worked from a censored 1967 Russian version, while the others used the "complete", post-communist manuscript. Poking through the editions, certain amazon user reviews denounce Glenny in favor of Ginsberg, or Ginsberg in favor or Burgin/O'Connor. One detailed list, from someone who has read four different translations, rates Ginsberg's the most readable and best at getting the nuances of the tone and humor, which seems important, then Burgin/O'Connor. She also notes that Pevear, though maybe most technically accurate doesn't get the humor at all -- which would explain why I didn't find this all that funny upon first reading. Of course, she also hates Glenny. Poor Glenny. Though still, let's not read the Glenny.

[Jimmy comment history]

Thank you Nate! This is really great info. I like Ginsbergs most, based on this sample, but some of the others also seem competent.

[Nate D comment history]

Yeah, I get the impression that you'd be fine with any of the first three, at least, but subtleties do shade the experience, too. What this really makes me think, actually, is that in the cases of so many books that only have one translation, you're really at the mercy of the translators judgement and natural tendencies. Which is obvious, but I hadn't really seen it illustrated so clearly until I started typing these out. More passages here soon!

[Jimmy comment history]

Do you know what/how much was excised in the censored versions?

I also think that it's really important to get the humor of a writer, so I'm probably not gonna read the Pevear translation.

[Nate D comment history]

Well, that's just one reader's impression, but I am definitely liking Ginsberg's version more all around. I wonder if there's a list of the omissions somewhere as I'd like to jump to them in Burgin/O'Connor when needed, too.

In any event, here's another set of comparisons: culminating in a particularly ridiculous Glennification.

1. Ginsberg: "At this moment the fiery air before him condensed and spun itself into a transparent citizen of the strangest appearance. A jockey's cap on a tiny head, a checked jacket, much too short for him and also woven of air... The citizen was seven feet tall, but narrow in the shoulders, incredibly lean, and, if you please, with a jeering expression on his physiognomy."

2. Pevear: "And here the sweltering air thickened before him, and a transparent citizen of the strangest appearance wove himself out of it. A jockey's cap on his little head, a short checkered jacket also made of air... A citizen seven feet tall, but narrow in the shoulders, unbelievably thin, and, kindly note, with a jeering physiognomy."

3. Burgin/O'Connor: "And then the hot air congealed in front of him, and out of it materialized a transparent man of most bizarre appearance. A small head with a jockey cap, a skimpy little checkered jacket that was also made out of air. The man was seven feet tall, but very narrow in the shoulders, incredibly thin, and his face, please note, had a jeering look about it."

4. Karpelson: "And then the muggy air thickened before him and wove itself into a transparent gentleman of the strangest appearance. A tiny jockey cap on his tiny head, a short, checkered, equally ethereal jacket on his shoulders... The citizen was seven feet tall but narrow-chested and incredibly thin. And with an insolent mug, may I add."

Notice how Karpelson repeats "tiny" unnecessarily. I can be sure it's unnecessary because Burgin and O'Connor specifically state that they avoided synonyms in favor of repeating any word that Bulgakov did. And they didn't have to repeat there. Making the repetition more glaring, Karpelson tries to avoid a repetition of "shoulders" one sentence later by subbing in "chest", not even a synonym, and only because he added "shoulders" in earlier for no reason. This is iffy. BUT THEN:

5. Glenny: "Just then the sultry air coagulated and wove itself into the shape of a man--a transparent man of the strangest appearance. On his head was a jockey-cap and he wore a short check bum-freezer made of air. The man was seven feet tall but narrow in the shoulders, incredibly thin and with a face made for derision."

My italics. Is "bum-freezer" some kind of British slang for a short coat? If so, why should it be used here? To be fair, this is the version of Glenny on Amazon's "look inside the book" whereas my hardcopy says "short check jacket". Do I have some kind of later-corrected Glenny, perhaps? This is the only difference I've seen yet from the online text so far, though.

I also like how differently everyone here tried to handle Bulgakov's last interjection. It must be some kind of Russian colloquialism without direct translation, as it's the most variation I've seen yet.

[Jimmy comment history]

Thanks Nate! My bum froze over upon reading that.

[Nate D comment history]

Here's a bit from one of the first Pontius Pilate section, which has a bit of a different tone:

1. Ginsberg: "Instead of all of this, an opaque purple wave swam before him; strange water weeds swayed within it, floating away somewhere, and carrying Pilate with them. He was now swept away, burning and suffocating with the most terrible of wraths, the wrath of impotence."

2. Pevear: "In place of it all there floated some purple mass, water weeds swayed in it and began moving off somewhere, and Pilate himself began moving with them. He was carried along now, smothered and burned, by the most terrible wrath -- the wrath of impotence."

3. Burgin/O'Connor: "In place of all this floated a crimson sediment in which seaweed began to sway and move somewhere, and Pilate moved along with it. Now he was engulfed by the most terrible rage of all, rage that choked and burned him--the rage of powerlessness."

4. Karpelson: "A marroon haze swam around him, a awaying mass of seaweed hat floated somewhere and carried Pilate with it. Suffocated and scalded, he was borne aloft by the worst kind of rage -- impotent rage."

5. Glenny: "In their place came a kind of dense purple mass, in which seaweed waved and swayed, and Pilate himself was swaying with it. He was seized, suffocating and burning, by the most terrible rage of all rage--the rage of impotence.

Raging rage of rages!

[Nate D comment history]

And here's a bit from a comedic passage, in which an entire government office finds itself unable to stop singing parts of a choral work (I suspect it is an arrangement of 19th-century poet Dimitri Pavlovich Davydov's “Thoughts of a fugitive on Baikal.”). Anyway, I find Ginsberg's ways of wording the musical intrusions hilarious:

1. Ginsberg: "It was obvious that the secretary himself would give anything to stop singing, but he could not stop and, together with the chorus, he brought to the attention of passers-by in the lane the information that "in the woods, he was untouched by ravening beasts, unharmed by the soldiers' bullets." "

It is good.

2. Pevear: "There was every indication that the secretary would himself have given anything to stop singing, but stop singing he could not and, and together with the choir he brought to the hearing of passers-by in the lane the news that 'in the wilderness he was not touched by voracious beast, nor brought down by bullet of shooters.' "

Also okay, but the song is really oddly worded here. No musicality, and it sort of jams up the finish. Shooters?

3. Burgin/O'Connor: "It was obvious that the secretary would have given anything in the world to be able to stop singing, but he could not. And together with the chorus, his voice rang out with the news, heard by pedestrians out on the street, that in the wilds he was untouched by voracious beasts and unscathed by marksmen's bullets!"

4. Karpelson: "The secretary gave every indication that he would give anything to stop singing, except that he could not, and, together with the chorus, he informed the pedestrians outside that he was "untouched in the woods by ravenous beast, unscathed by the soldier's bullet!" "

Here, in these last two, it appears that the secretary is singing of himself. But I find the totally ambiguous subject of Ginsberg's wording far more amusing (and probably more accurate to Bulgakov's wit).

5. Glenny: "It was obvious that the secretary would have given anything to stop singing but could not."

Catastrophically, Glenny actually opted to leave out the funny part.

...

Incidentally, I think Ginsberg may actually take some liberties to preserve tone and feel, maybe at the expense of literal accuracy at times. Here, for instance, her translation is smooth and economical, but unlike the others:


1. Ginsberg: "The moon flashed for the last time, already splintered into bits, and went dark."

2. Pevear: "Once more, and for the last time, the moon flashed, but now breaking to pieces, and then it became dark."

3. Burgin/O'Connor: "Once again, and for the last time, the moon flashed, but it was already breaking into splinters, and then it became dark."

4. Karpelson: "Once more and for the last time, the moon flashed above and broke into pieces, and then everything went black."

5. Glenny: "Once more and for the last time the moon flashed before his eyes, but it split into fragments and then went black."

[Jimmy comment history]

hmm... it's hard to know without knowing Russian whether the Ginsberg "smoothing over" is preserving the tone and feel, or just the opposite.

The others all have a different tone and feel... they are clunkier, lumpier, and somehow I suspect that Bulgakov might have intended this sentence to be bumpy.

Just because it's smooth doesn't mean it preserves the tone and feel more... because the original tone and feel could be un-smooth on purpose.

Then again, perhaps it was meant to be smooth and the other translators all messed up and made it bumpy?

Very interesting nonetheless. Thanks for sharing.

[Nate D comment history]

Yeah, it's hard to say. I included that one precisely because, the over-smoothing was potentially iffy, much as I tend to prefer Ginsberg. Incidentally, I should be able check out the accuracy at some point, as my girlfriend's first language is Russian.

[Jimmy comment history]

How convenient!

[Nate D comment history]

After reading all of Ginsberg's translation, and then going back to the Burgin/O'Connor for their translation notes and to seek out bits omitted from the older editions by censors and different interpretations of which drafts were final (Bulgakov died before he finished re-editing the final text) -- after all this, I'm not entirely convinced that the ideal form of this book exists in English. I certainly think Ginsberg is funnier and more poetic in her descriptions, but some of the omissions and differences will haunt me:

1. Censorship. Of course, Ginsberg was working from the censored 1967 Russian text. This means, that though the Terror of the 30s is certainly alluded to, the more overt and gut-wrenching references have been clipped out. At least one of these is essential to understanding how a significant character comes to be so thoroughly broken.

2. Disagreement. Burgin/O'Connor's translation is a combination of two major versions, and other bits among Bulgakov's incomplete drafts seem to exist. For instance, the in the original publication, Bulgakov's wife completed a phrase that Bulgakov allowed to trail off -- over-explaining the most haunting paragraph of the novel, which Bulgakov re-wrote for the last time in the immediate shadow of his death (about 2 days before). On the other hand, the Burgin/O'Connor version restores a couple omitted passages that they felt belonged, though Bulgakov had crossed them out. It's unclear that this is in any way more correct.

3. Meta-textualness. It seems, with the book-within-the-book, and weird switches in narratorial voice, that The Master & Margarita may actually be an early post-modern work. Which is quite exciting. However, it also hinges on subtle points that do not come through the same in all versions, possibly because various editors were not equally aware of this aspect. Ginsberg, as I've noted, preserves all the chatty ahem-ing of the narrator, which I think is a key part of this aspect, but her version of the text also leaves out a couple lines that seems crucial in delineating the different texts that compose the story. The line would not have been noted by the censors, so it seems that it was either removed as a confusing duplication of a line in the next chapter (it almost is) or it was lost in the confusion of drafts until later. I only have Ginsberg, Glenny, and Burgin/O'Connor physically on hand, but I think I really need to cross-check these discrepant but significant details with Pevear's version. Even if his language is inferior, I remember his scholarship being pretty sound, so it'll be interesting to see how he deals with these things.