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An authoritarian mother.

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message 1: by Angie (last edited May 23, 2011 06:05AM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Angie Are there still mothers in this world who wants that everyone respect their authority even though they are not on the right?


message 2: by Cyn (new) - rated it 5 stars

Cyn Bagley Yes - look at the women who were raised during WWII.


Robin ??


Melissa From what I have heard, Tiger Mother is like that as well and is receiving a lot of criticism for it.


Robin Tiger Mother is in a class all on its own. I don't know if this lady was serious when writing this novel. All mothers want the best for their children.


Yecenia Barrera Well in Mexico WAY BACK THEN, that was the custom. It might still linger in remote places, but for the most part its not really considered that big a deal anymore.


Robin I think mothers should be allowed to express to their children how it is, and be given some kind of respect, not only in Mexico, but around the world.


Yecenia Barrera Yep, true. Mothers should be respected no matter what cause it doesn't matter if its your birth or adoptive mother. But there are still customs, religions, and traditions to take into consideration.


Robin Yes, I realize that. All mothers should be thanked everyday, not just on Mother's Day.


Valerie I don't think it was just a story about the mother's authority, it was about her control and her selfishness. She demanded that Tita's life be sacrificed in order to serve and care for her. She didn't just want respect, she wanted complete control, and she played God with her daughters' futures in exercising that control. It was not about wanting what was best for them or wanting them to be happy. Those mothers are scary and need to be stopped.


Sandra dewi is it really true..? i mean the culture... thanks God i'm not born that time....;P


message 12: by Angie (last edited Jan 23, 2013 11:49AM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Angie Valerie wrote: "I don't think it was just a story about the mother's authority, it was about her control and her selfishness. She demanded that Tita's life be sacrificed in order to serve and care for her. She did..."

Yes, I agree.

The problems come when mothers think that they are always right (despite their own reasons either selfish or not) and don't really listen to their children.

Remember also that mothers can transmit everything to their children: values, prejudices, fears, even traumas.

Tita's mother was totally frustrated and bitter because she couldn't achieve her personal aspirations (being with her true love), so she hid her guilt, shame, resentment and total frustration in the "family traditions" and in her authoritarian personality (that makes me think that maybe she only made up those traditions because of her bitterness).

The same was happening with Tita's eldest sister.


message 13: by Patrice (last edited Apr 26, 2013 10:15AM) (new) - rated it 3 stars

Patrice Robin wrote: "Tiger Mother is in a class all on its own. I don't know if this lady was serious when writing this novel. All mothers want the best for their children."

Tiger mothers are different. Their efforts are all for the child. This mother wanted to use her child. She was a tyrant but incredibly selfish,

This book is about tyranny, In the family and in the government. Being taught to obey, rather than think and reason is what leads to this,


Patrice Yecenia wrote: "Well in Mexico WAY BACK THEN, that was the custom. It might still linger in remote places, but for the most part its not really considered that big a deal anymore."

Was there really a custom like this? The youngest daughter couldn't marry? She was like a human sacrifice?


message 15: by Angie (last edited Apr 26, 2013 12:57PM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Angie Patrice wrote: "Yecenia wrote: "Well in Mexico WAY BACK THEN, that was the custom. It might still linger in remote places, but for the most part its not really considered that big a deal anymore."

Was there reall..."


Well, not all the families had exactly that custom by rule, but the future of the children was expected in that way.

Women were raised to become caretakers either married or not. If they got married, they become the caretakers of the husband and children; if they didn't, they become or continue to be the caretakers of their parents and siblings who still live in the house.

Some can say that it is like having a free nurse and nanny during the last days of the parents' life.

Another option, in case there were no girls in the family or all the girls got married, a maid is hired because it would have been seen bad that the man was the 24/7 hours nurse.


message 16: by Patrice (last edited Apr 27, 2013 12:32PM) (new) - rated it 3 stars

Patrice Interesting.

I think in most families the youngest girl winds up taking care of the parents married or not, My mother was the youngest of 7 and took care of her mother but she had a husband and child, Who would care for her if she didn't?
The difference is that there was no rule that a daughter could not marry. In effect I think an unmarried daughter or a youngest daughter would take care of the parents and any siblings that needed help,

I'm not so sure today.


message 17: by Sophia (last edited May 10, 2013 05:56PM) (new) - added it

Sophia Thats a lot of italians culture I experienced it myself with my in laws, they still follow that tradition of authority. Ditto with European like Castilians which Rich Filipinos have a tradition of, learned from the Castilians when they took over the country, thats why a lot Filipinos have mean-muggin face LOL. They lose control when they leave their house.


Ladynight I think so; I believe it also has a lot to do with the person’s culture and education.

For example: I have heard that in some Asian cultures children are taught to respect their parents decisions even if they are wrong, plus children will be consider bad if they disobey or go against their parents or older family members.

Another example will be the Hispanic culture, in some Latin countries moms can be very strict depending on their religion and the time they were born (of course, not all moms are like this, but I guess I can certainly say that those who still live thinking in the past and following old customs can be very strict).
My humble opinion, not trying to offend anyone…


Scott Markham Angie wrote: "Are there still mothers in this world who wants that everyone respect their authority even though they are not on the right?"
Look at the time period and most of all the culture of Mexico. I believe this to be entirely accurate and very depictive!


Tereece Gonzalez I have 1 daughter and 3 sons. I told my youngest son he has to stay home and take care of me when I get old. The 3 older kids thought it was a great idea. The baby not so much LOL


Erika Maria It's a matter of education and culture, if we were born by then under that culture, could be very easy to follow the same rules. Book is excellent so the movie.


message 22: by Laura (last edited Jul 17, 2014 12:14AM) (new) - rated it 4 stars

Laura Herzlos The truth is... mothers don't just want what's best for their children, but what they think it's best for them. According to the way they've been brought up, that may not be the same for everyone.

As an example, I met a woman who loved her children, a boy and a girl. When I met them, they were both adults (he was my boyfriend). She totally pampered him; she took breakfast in bed for him and for both of us when I slept over. But her daughter had to make her own breakfast and couldn't have anyone to sleep over. He didn't have to contribute to the house economically, but she did. Because he was the man. She loved them, but she had been raised to believe that the man is more important and has all the rights, while the woman has all the duties.

This is not the problematic of the book, but I meant it as an example of a mother who doesn't mean harm, who loves her children, but what she thought was best for them may not be what others would agree on.


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