It is very humbling to hear all of your stories. I approached this book without ever being involved in a similiar situation and yet found myself really relating to the characters. I didn't find the book perfect by any means but the honesty, the womens feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, made me keep turning the page. Though my trials may be different, I have often found myself easily sucked into the same self-depricating mind set. I was inspired by their strength and determination to overcome the things in their lives that held them back from happiness.
If you step back from it, and get past some of the repetitive phrases or anything else you found frustrating about this book, you are left with the heartwarming story of a women who is trying to be better. I found myself laughing out loud on more than one occassion (my favorite part was when they were sitting at the table having sausages for breakfast and Julia kept going on and on about how much she likes sausage. haha.)Yet there was always an underlying sadness. I thought it was unique to see the two coupled together like that. It was refreshing and loveable.
I read it in less than two days and then gave it to my mom to read right away. I wanted someone else to see and feel the hope that I felt between those pages. It is not the type of book my mom would ever pick to read but she really enjoyed it as well. She could appreciate their efforts to overcome the trials that were holding them back.
I love books that make you hope for something better and make you appreciate what you have in life. I found myself believeing that if these women, despite being fictional characters, could remain positive and keep loving while overcome tragedy, I can also find the things I am seeking in my own life. If these women could be strong so could I.
I hope that other people were as inspired as I was.

Thanks for sharing Diane. I'm glad the book resonated with you.

Diane, I'm so glad you (and your daughter?) are alright and you've been able to get through something so awful. Verbal abuse is just as harmful as any physical kind and I agree that laughter is incredible medicine!

I related with Katie the most. In the late 80's, I had an attractive husband(Kevin Bacon-Footloose looking)who abused alcohol. He was verbally abusive, he never "hit" me but, he had great aim when he threw things. He could really spin a tale that made you believe it was your fault. I believed I needed to stay for the sake of our daughter, it was for her sake that I left.
I really liked the combination of tragedy and comedy in this book, because I realized I would be okay and survive my situation one evening in my mother's kitchen with my sister, my sister-in-law, my aunt and best friend. We were looking at divorce papers filed by my husband that would give him custody of my 2 yr. old. In our plotting of his demise, one way more creative than the next, we found we could laugh in the face of our adversity. I knew then that I would be okay(it also helped that my aunt was an attorney who was a speech writer and advisor to the governor of our state). I believe laughter is incredible medicine and I liked the fact that I could have tears rolling down my face and laugh out loud few pages later.

I am about halfway through the book so far. I am really liking it. I don't have a favorite character though. I do like Lydia's "free spirit" type of personality.

Jo wrote: "Too much on domestic violence & too much violence in general?! Unfortunately that is the Reality of many women's & children's lives, every minute of every day and it's about time Everyone becomes ..."

I think there was actually. I'm not saying that the world doesn't need awareness because it does but it didn't flow with this book at all. There were to many different things going on and trying to be funny at the same time. I didn't feel uncomfortable reading about it at all. I just felt that all the elements didn't flow together and felt that the story just wasn't moving forward as it should've.

I find Lamb's humor innappropriate. I think she could make the book funny with more wit and subtle character observations than falling for cheap laughs which as Jo says, detracts from the serious nature of the subjects she is writting about. The table scene when Julia first meets "Paul" was the only thing I found humorous and that was rather forced as it was.

Her details with respect to the domestic violences and how Julia felt & what she went through are so eerily right on that I'm curious to know if she's been through it herself.

I thought for sure Elm Creek Quilts series author Jennifer Chaiverini must have based one of her mother-daughter relationships on that of her own and she told me her relationship with her mom was wonderful & nothing like the books! The characters' was based on friend's relationships with their moms if I remember correctly. I was So surprised!

It's the writer in me! (This particular curiosity).

I'm not sure Jo. It would be interesting to find out.

After reading "The Last Time I Was Me" by the same author, I would have to say that this is just the author's style...to mix humor with very deep subjects. This book also covered deep issues with the same kind of humor mixed in, over the top in places, that is certainly not a style everyone will enjoy.

Well said Cindy! I think the humor was a bit over the top at times & took away from the overall serious message and purpose of the story. I wonder if she interjected So much humor because she herself or someone close to her was abused or a victim of domestic violence & was perhaps overcompensating for the painful emotions brought about by writing the story? Perhaps I will email her to ask.

I think this is the reason why I gave this book a high rating...because if the 'story' helps or touches just one person or child who is being abused...gives a woman the strength to leave the situation or change, well it is a great accomplishment for the author.
I feel that there are so many women and situations going on in this book that it would not be hard for someone to relate to at least one of the characters and find some strength (for a woman in an abusive situation).

I do understand that not everyone feels comfortable reading about these things and why, if you come from this type of background, the humor may be a little over the top.

Too much on domestic violence & too much violence in general?! Unfortunately that is the Reality of many women's & children's lives, every minute of every day and it's about time Everyone becomes aware of that fact, whether or not it makes people uncomfortable, so that women & children stop being abused and murdered.

I agree-Aunt Lydia was just a big hoot! Kinda made me want to paint the barn at home pink with yellow doors or something! :)

Of the five main characters – Julia Bennett, Lydia Thornburgh, Lara Keene, Katie Margold and Caroline Harper – to whom do you most relate? Who are you most like? Have you had any of the same problems or issues? Do you like all of the women? Why or why not?

I don't feel I related to any of them although each situation is a possible reality. I liked the book more because I didn't relate to them. I wasn't keen on the sudden seriousness after a humorous scene. I felt like there was to much on domestic violence, as if there were some underlying man-hating going on and to much violence in general (abusing kids).
I would've liked it more had she probably made it more of a romantic theme with not so much darkness but it is what it is. I loved all the characters and their quirks. They could totally be my friends! I'm a big Aunt Lydia fan esp. with her pigs and something about throwing a wedding dress up in a tree was humorous to me...not the abuse behind it but just picturing someone trying to throw a dress in a tree. Could've been a better read but it wasn't something that needed thinking.

The cliche's annoyed me because they take away from what I feel is the book's purpose (helping bring domestic violence to the forefront) and minimize or "dumb it down" in certain respects.

Sharon - I agree with you. I also did not want to minimize any of the actual emotional aspects of the narrator, so I saved my harsh comments for the review I did. I found Lamb uncreative and cliche.

I totally agree with you about never wanting to spend an evening half-naked with friends....! That part was just over the top for me too!

I have started several different comments on this book, and deleted each of them before I hit the "post" button. I in no way, shape or form want to minimize or cause upset to any woman who has ever stood in Julia's shoes and been the victim of domestic violence. Since I have not (thank God) experienced it, I am obviously seeing this book in a different perspective.

I was conflicted about how I felt about the story. I rolled my eyes or cringed several times while reading, but I literally consumed this book in two days.

I felt that the characters were overblown and unnecessarily flamboyant. I've been a woman for almost 50 years, and I do not consider myself a prude, but I have never, ever, wanted to spend an evening half-naked with a bunch of friends talking to my breasts.

I felt that a lot of the confrontations were contrived and over-written; such as when Julia and Dean are confronting the social workers to get custody of the kids. Dean is friends with the governor? Come on, really?

And why is it that there is always a quaint small town to run to, a deliciously hunky love interest (who also happens to be rich, emotionally stable, and perfect husband material), and a hobby that will instantly become a viable new career?

And yet I still love the happy ending and the trite wrap-up, even though I know that Julia should really spend years in therapy before she gets into another serious relationship.

I've been trying to decide which character was my favorite and I think I would have to say Aunt Lydia! Aunt Lydia...with her 'ladies' and Melissa Lynn and her farm and her quirky ways of putting things that really hit home! Like when she was talking about fear:
"Fear will strangle the womanliness right out of you. Fear will turn your instincts to mush, making you doubt the wisdom that springs forth...Fear will smush your ability to choose your life's direction. Fear gets inside your brain like octopus tentacles and pokes into your brain cells. Fear will smother your creative energy, shaking your passions into nothing but warts. Fear will prevent you from seeing the success that can be yours. There is more than one way for you to conquer your fear."
or
"When you're sad or depressed, you might as well get something done. Pretty soon, you're not sad or depressed, and darned if things aren't done."

I know that I have let fear stop me from making changes sometimes in my life. The fear of the unknown or the fear of change. On the one hand, she is talking about the fear some of these women have at the hands of their abusers, but on the other hand I think she is also talking about the fear of...not conforming or change in the case of Lara.

Sue wrote: "It seems like the more abuse is mentioned, victims become more comfortable with discussing their situations and opening up to moving forward, and healing. I know it helps me. I liked the book alo..." WELL written Sue! I completely agree!

When I first started reading the book and the 'Psychic Nights', my first thought was this is just too weird! As I continued to read, I began to really enjoy the book. I think that the author used these 'over the top' parts in the book to make one think, to take us over the top of normal, because some of the things shared were just horrific; to make the reader realize the power and strength women have inside.

Tina wrote: "I liked and didn't like the book. I loved that Cathy Lamb tackled difficult topics--from domestic abuse to bucking the traditional and societal expectations. However, there was so much 'humor' in..."

I think that many people will feel the same way you do about the humor. I did enjoy the book because I loved that she added as much humor as she did. However there were still times when I felt like she cheated me out of the opportunity to really get what each character was feeling at the time. Which really might have been a bonus considering I could have ended up a bawling sniveling crying mess lol!

AJ wrote: "I didn't really like the writing of the book at all, but I appreciated the subject matter. I guess the voice spoke to people more than it did me. I just wanted to say how amazing it is that Vikki..."

Thank you AJ!

Thank you AJ! Thank you.

I liked and didn't like the book. I loved that Cathy Lamb tackled difficult topics--from domestic abuse to bucking the traditional and societal expectations. However, there was so much 'humor' involved that it was just a little over the top--couldn't she have made it a bit more realistic so that people could forget they were reading fiction and instead feel they were reading about real people conquering real important issues? I felt that it was slightly a miss with something that could have been great. I'm not making much sense, am I?

It's hard for me to pick a favorite character--I felt that all were important pieces to the healing puzzle. I couldn't imagine the book without one of them. . .

I didn't really like the writing of the book at all, but I appreciated the subject matter. I guess the voice spoke to people more than it did me. I just wanted to say how amazing it is that Vikki and Jo got away from such situations, you two are very strong women.

It seems like the more abuse is mentioned, victims become more comfortable with discussing their situations and opening up to moving forward, and healing. I know it helps me. I liked the book alot. It was very real. I like how Lamb used humor, and positive support to help with each woman's story. No matter what was holding the woman back/down she had to reach within and move. It was great that there were people who truly cared to help the women. Victims need a good support system. I was not so comfortable with the psychic nights. I can see the lesson in the nights. So often with abuse, the victim's wires become crossed and the healthy view of themselves is tamped down, uncomfortable, hard to believe. They hold onto the view that they are not worthy, unable to do anything. I love that the women found the courage to do that which they really loved, and see their potential. I'm glad that they stopped holding back and took the chance. It is scary to step out of the zone created for you when you are a victim. You rely on the control of someone else---I found strength in these women and cheered them on as they took the step of freeing themselves.

Vikki wrote: "At the time I think it made it easier for me to stay with that person by telling myself it wasn't really that bad. "

I tended to 'suck it up' and ignore what happened, ignore how I felt and just tried to pretend that it didn't happen so I could try to function.

I'm so glad you're out of that relationship, Vikki! You are a very strong person!

I, too, felt that the author did a great job of keeping the book as light as possible. The abuse was so graphic and sickening. Thank goodness for Aunt Lydia! I loved all of the women and loved each of their different personalities. They were all strong and unique in their own way. I adored Stash as well!

Jo wrote: "I am sorry as well Vikki. I've been in 2 very abusive relationships in the past, totaling 9 years. And my mother was in a Horribly abusive relationship with my father for over 17 years, he stalked..."

I'm glad you said that, I was at a loss at how to describe it yes it was a difficult read. When Julia remembers the abuse I felt like the author really captured the essence of someone that has been abused. I remember looking back at the scenes in my head like I was a viewer and not an active participant at the time. At the time I think it made it easier for me to stay with that person by telling myself it wasn't really that bad. Hindsight is 20/20 foresight is blind right?

At any rate I felt like Cathy Lamb did a beautiful job of keeping the book light at times to balance out the horrible things that happened.

I am sorry as well Vikki. I've been in 2 very abusive relationships in the past, totaling 9 years. And my mother was in a Horribly abusive relationship with my father for over 17 years, he stalked & harassed her until he died about 3 years later. I am so glad more and more female authors are exploring domestic violence in their works - violence against women has got to stop being the world's dirty little secret! Just because it makes people uncomfortable doesn't mean it should be swept under the carpet. The more people are aware, more women's lives will be saved. Thank you for nominating it Vikki! A difficult but well worth it read.

Ah Vikki, I am sorry you had to go through that but I am glad you got out of the relationship!

I was wondering about this book at the beginning, the whole physic nights were kinda weird! But now I'm on Page 216 and loving it! I can't wait to find out what is going to happen and am going to have a hard time leaving this book alone today at work!!

I agree, everyone needs an Aunt Lydia in their life!!

I opening up the discussion for Julia's Chocolates. I finished it last week and have been patiently waiting to talk about the book.

Of the five main characters – Julia Bennett, Lydia Thornburgh, Lara Keene, Katie Margold and Caroline Harper – to whom do you most relate? Who are you most like? Have you had any of the same problems or issues? Do you like all of the women? Why or why not?

It was hard to say if I had a favorite character or not they all played important roles for me and were all in different stages of development. Aunt Lydia made me laugh out loud I think everyone needs a Lydia in their life.

When I suggested this book for the November read I didn't realize how much the book focused on domestic violence. About 8 or 9 years ago I was involved with someone like Robert not to his extreme but I wonder how bad it might have gotten if I had stayed with him. This book forced me to explore that time in my life that I try to keep put away in a dark corner of mind.