I'll miss you too, Andy. I've enjoyed and gained from your many contributions here.

All the best Andy.

Best of luck, Andy, you're participation here has been valuable and you'll be missed.

perhaps one day you will wish to reconnect, although it appears, that time is not now. even though I do not know you and have far too little time to really visit as often as I wished, or post much of anything here at CR (even though I did try, starting with the month and year we read "The Road"), I would welcome your presence and perspectives on any forum we might happen to mutually occasion. and if you ever did choose to come back and post here, you would be welcomed warmly. Be well, Andy. I refuse to say goodbye to either you or candy. too final and sad for me.

That's a sad announcement and I am sorry it has come to this, Andy. I wish a different resolution had been possible that would have kept us all together.

Andy, I'm sorry you're leaving, too.

A Very, Very Short List of Why I like Andy

He is very loyal to his friends
He has the cutest smile in his profile photo
He gave the Da Vinci Code 5 stars and has no shame about it
He is damn smart
He is the smartest guy under 30 that I ever met
He volunteers
He is a reader
He is a writer
He is thoughtful and passionate

Andy, I too would like to find a place to talk and discuss books with you, if you will have me as your friend. Let’s keep in touch.

I am sorry you are leaving, Andy, but I understand your feelings.

Jane

The best conversations about books I have ever had have been with this group. Several times in the last year I’ve been here, when we are working together on some interpretation of a book, when we are picking up each other’s words and ideas and reactions and running with them, I have felt so connected and understood. It’s a rare and beautiful feeling I hope I will have again.

And I know others have felt that way, too. One of the very new people has said that she is surprised to see so much passion on this forum surrounding the events of Candy’s getting kicked out. I believe that passion that has been demonstrated in people’s posts these last few days comes from that feeling of connectedness and group understanding we have all felt in the past. We are desperate not to lose that feeling, we want to get there again, the moderators don’t want to lose it and the members don’t want to quit, but I have to quit. We don’t want to quit but I am quitting and I don’t want to seek out something similar to this elsewhere because it was so nice here and it was so unique and it worked for me and I know I’ve been kind of a pain lately to some but I know it’s because I so want to feel connected (calling Oprah!), and even those who have been around for a month or a year or two years or more feel so invested.

It takes a lot of work and risk and vulnerability, it takes skill and experience and empathy and probably a bunch of other things for a group like this to work. It’s a bit of a balancing act, it’s a bit like Icarus flying with waxen wings and all those other clichés. Apparently this time we’ve flown too close to the sun.

Everybody should be congratulated for participating in such a nice thing. I have a lot of stuff written about all of this but I am just going to sit on it because it’s all just too sad and I’m very confused and exhausted. I don’t have much nice to say about the moderators who kicked out my friend, except Don’t go bein’ too rigid now, ya hear? Oh, it might be helpful to consider that you are running a publication and it takes all kinds. I’m not sure what your goals are, but I think if your goals are either quantity of members or quality of discussion, you were doing fine on both counts even with that dastardly rogue member lurking about. You might have considered seeking out some resources on how to deal with such a “problem”. I know this is not a day job for anybody, but there are other forums that you could reach out to for advice, there are books on conflict resolution, there are people who have training in how to solve such problems that you could reach out to. You apparently didn’t do any of those things. You just threw her ass out. And then acted like goddamn Soviet intelligence officers.

Oh, if anybody comes across a different group that might like to have me as a member, give me a shout. I’ll keep my goodreads email open. Or if you just want to say hi /smile/

And thanks everybody for great conversations and companionship and for reading my long posts /smile/ I will miss you all very much /smile/

andy