Yep, a sewer will do it.

Paul wrote: "I would like, eventually, to get screams and vomit."

Just write about a sewer. That'll make people vomit.

Kerfluffling!

Awe, there you go with the poetry again.

Don't fret about wiring,
just get to admiring
your wonderful prose,
so good that it glows.

Paul made you post that twice. Sinister indeed. The problem is we share a brain or something like that. My side goes all kerfluffley over rhyming words. Must be a glitch in my wiring.

And here all this time I thought it was Renee messing with people's heads. Little did I know that she was nerely the pawn in Paul's game.

Sinister.

And here all this time I thought it was Renee messing with people's heads. Little did I know that she was nerely the pawn in Paul's game.

Sinister.

Shit, where was I? Oh yes, sending something to Paul.

Now you're in my power. sends brainwaves You are feeling sleepy. Go to the PC. That's right. Now send me the book.

Type 'Hi Paul, here's the book. I hope you enjoy it.'

Now attach the file and press Send.

There, that wasn't so hard, was it? You can wake up now.

snaps fingers

He knows poetry is kerfluffling. So he pulls it out when he needs to make me twitterpate in order to do as he wishes.

Wow. Paul brought out the big guns. Poems and stuff. That rhyme. I am impressed.

You're a wonderful poet. I'm jealous. I can't rhyme like that.

You know I always like your stuff,
even when it's rough.
Send it my way, I know how to be tough,
and when to cry 'enough'.
Just as long as it's not fluff.

That rhymed, you notice?

It's really rough. I need to edit a lot. Might make your eyes cross and your toes curl.

Well send it my way then, Renee, so I too can start loving you - even more than I already do, of course.

Oh, that would be heavenly wouldn't it? I've discovered a whole new world of writing recently.

I didn't realize you could write 'pretty' while still creeping your reader out and making them desperate to look away, yet unable to do so. Sometimes you don't need supernatural beings, or axe murderers to create horror, sometimes it's in the every day things that we never see or are too scared to look at. Sometimes its within ourselves.

There's a hint to what I've just finished the rough rough rough draft of. Now I'm editing and I am loving myself. Is that wrong? Can't be.

Not that way Paul, I'm loving what I realized I was capable of writing.

Oh, yeah, that's a good reaction.

I would like, eventually, to get screams and vomit. But I'm just practicing on it. I'll get worse (or better).

Believe it or not, I've only just begun to explore the power of words.

Play along with me, all of you. We will become Shiva, the destroyer of worlds. We will become the creator of bright, shiny new ones. We will entrance, beguile and ensnare readers in our web of words. They will rave about us, stalk us, obsessively talk about us.

While we sit on our island, leisurely shaping our next fictions. And sacrificing Garys to the shark gods.

Our future is bright; tomorrow belongs to us.

Renee wrote: "It it wrong that we jump for joy when we make people cry? Nah. Just means we're doing it right."

Absolutely!!!

It it wrong that we jump for joy when we make people cry? Nah. Just means we're doing it right.

Renee wrote: "As long as we manage to get some kind of emotion, its good, laughter, tears, screams of terror, it's all good."

Tell me about it. I am secretly proud that I freak out my sister-in-law with less than one thousand words. Granted, she is sensitive to the topic in question (I didn't know she was that sensitive), but hey, I am never forgetting that.

Oh, I think I got an "I almost cry" comment from a friend with that same story. I am very proud of that too.

As long as we manage to get some kind of emotion, its good, laughter, tears, screams of terror, it's all good.

Yes, we are indeed writers. A noble calling, bringing joy and entertainment to the world's masses.

OK, well in Renee's case and sometimes in mine, bringing dread and terror, but the principle's the same.

Damn it, we're writers. Sigh. But wait until you read it, soooo much better without Aaron. You'll love it. I've added some setting too as I changed everything. I've got a few lines I'm pretty darn proud of.

But not yet. I want to finish it. Rowan's been stuck in the slave settlement for a long time. She's getting a little cranky. Homicidal even.

Renee wrote: "Thanks Teresa, Sparky loves delinquents. And yes, editing furiously, hoping my head doesn't explode. I've also been rewriting something that was half finished before I got obsessed with the other s..."

Masochism? We love pain? We like being miserable? We are perfectionists? Too much caffeine in our diets?

Or we are...writers?

Thanks Teresa, Sparky loves delinquents. And yes, editing furiously, hoping my head doesn't explode. I've also been rewriting something that was half finished before I got obsessed with the other story. I decided a different direction was needed and that means rewriting everything. Why do we do this to ourselves?

Hi there, Renee!

I hope all is well with you and your family. Are you busily editing all that fantastic writing you did in the garage?

I brought a snack for Sparky: a young delinquent who kept setting fire to the lift this morning. Two little old ladies missed their train because they took forever to climb the stairs.

Some day...


Until then, I get up way too early, stay up until my eyes are slamming shut and sneak in every spare minute I can.

It works, for now.

Well, I think it's amazing what you get done while tending hordes of small children, battling rabid moles and feeding Sparky. Not to mention ferrets, husbands, dogs and removing piles of crap.

Just think if you only had a part ime job and a guaranteed 4 hours a day peace and quiet! We'd be looking at word counts of around a million.

We'll see...

changing subject

You are much more talented and prolific than I am. Imagine what you could do if work wasn't in the way, and sleep, and taking the garbage out.

OK, we'll just get back to congratulating each other on our amazing talents and prolific output.

sighs
Perhaps, in another time, another place, different circumstances ...

No, I'm probably deluding myself. :)

yes, yes we should.

Oh, yes, very good...

Shall we call a halt on this one?

Blushes and looks away

I shouldn't have mentioned it, now I'm all flustered again. I hope they were good dreams. Not the disturbing variety.

laughs

Yes thanks, all mopped up. Slept like a baby. I may have had some dreams...

We are, and I can type really fast, and I've gotten better at it. So, I can type as fast as most of my thoughts come through my head. Very handy if you're inspired.

By the way, did you get all 'cleaned' up? Sleep well? I did.

That's incredible, Renee.

I really must take some sort of speed typing course to catch up!

I guess that, having produced 3 complete first drafts of novels, two film scripts, a handful of short stories, 3 articles, blog posts, workshops and academic assignments, I must be on...

57,000 + 75,000 + 120,000 + 30,000 + 30,000 + 500 + 400 + 8,000 + 5,000 + 5,000 + 2,000 + (3,000 X 3) + (1,000 X 23) + (3,000 X 3) + 2,000 + 1,000 + 2,000 + 2,000 = 389,000.

Add in the NaNo thing - I'll pass the 50K in the month, but I doubt I'll be able to reach 100K - and by the end of November I'll be at 440,000 words.

Oh, OK, we're about the same in terms of output.

Total so far for 2009 = 410,452 words.

Where is it all?

I had no kids for six hours yesterday, yes it was a lovely day. I cleaned, did laundry and then I sat down to write. Word count was 7096 words. A very nice day. I'm nearly done my WOP!! Yay.

Now, to add up these word counts for the year.

Good morning Sparky, my you've cleaned your pool. Looks nice. Expecting company? Yes, I do have someone you might like to meet. His name is DantheMAN and he's from Ohio. Yep. At 54 years old, he's 5'8" but 'built' much taller and prefers young women. The ones his age are far to mouthy and not so good in bed. He saw my profile and was immediately 'excited' and in love. He wants me to add him to my MSN, and chat. He'd love to meet me some time, maybe we could get a room, and meet halfway.

Nice try Romeo, you frigging perv, in the tank you go. Meet Sparky, he's pretty young although not female. I'm sure he'll get you excited though.

Ahhh, love Myspace. Anyway 2446 words yesterday. I spent most of it coming up with my section for M-20. That was fun. Then I decided we should have one more little contest. Participants, go check the thread.

Yeah, I was too lazy to come up with anything myself. You'll see what I mean.

More coffee? Don't mind if I do.

possibly...

Too funny, maybe there's something to the big sword on my front cover.

No Tod, I really don't think outfits like that would do you justice. Maybe a knight or a Prince, you know 'male' characters...

If you guys seriously dressed and teased like that I am not sure I could concentrate enough to sell books.

Since this will be my first Con, I am wondering if there will be any hot, elf chics or Princess Leia slave outfits.

I know but let's keep that between us.

You are one smart lady!

You'll have no trouble then, now to lure the women, a nice plate of something chocolate and perhaps a parting gift of your choice to go with the book.

I can do the cleavage thing, and I'm very good at blushing and batting my eyelashes.

When Kaylee was a year old, she somehow reached her clothes folded and placed at the top of her closet. She would change her clothes every nap time. We asked her, "Kaylee, how did you get those pants?" She had to fly to get them.

Kaylee batted her blue eyes with those dark lashes and looked away, and then she gave us this cherubic smile that said, "I am so innocent." Just one years old, and she could do that. (We are so in trouble.)

Anyway, she learned it from me.

I think all a woman has to do is bat her eyelashes and blush prettily and the boys will fall in line. Or perhaps wear something just slightly trashy, not slutty, just enough to make them salivate a little. For me, it would be something to show off my legs, someone else might consider cleavage or something. Not butt cleavage, no that doesn't work. No one wants to see that. I don't care how fine your ass is.
Perhaps some, ugh, open toed shoes. A lot of men have a thing for feet. shivers.
We have to work a little harder to get a man to line up.

Renee wrote: "ANd charm is definitely a good idea. Maybe toss in a madame here and there, as Carlos does, and you'll have them lining up for a copy and a smile. "

Renee, would that work for a woman? Just wondering if a girl says "Madame" that it would have the same appeal...

Tod wrote: "In fact, it deteriorates like stale poo from a dancing elephant."

Marvelous metaphor, Tod. I think I now know what my next contest will be--the opposite of the "Monkey Metaphor" contest. I hope you'll enter your metaphor when I have the contest. I just need to figure out what the prizes will be.