Thank you for the great suggestions! I love "Ferdinand" What a great suggestion here. Actually that is one of my husband's favorite childhood books and, while he does love his "guy stuff" at times, he is a thoughtful and sensitive individual, too.

Oh, I love Ferdinand! That's a great recommendation! I'll check out the others you mention too!

Wow--great discussion! I am a bookseller but not a parent. When I opened my store a few years ago, I was struck by the fact that the pendulum had swung so far the other way... perhaps it's to make up for past trends, but it seems like it's frowned upon for there to be a strong central boy character anymore. It feels like we're punishing the little boys of today for the sexism of past generations. And I have definitely noticed that even my very enlightened, "progressive" customers are so much more comfortable seeing their daughters interested in something considered traditionally male than seeing their sons (or even daughters!) interested in something considered traditionally female. It's as if a girl reading about trucks is somehow a step "up" to be proud of. Inherently devaluing anything considered traditionally feminine. But here I am, venting.

One picture book I might suggest is "The Boy Who Cried Fabulous" by Leslea Newman. "The Curious Garden" by Peter Brown is a beautiful new book about a boy tending a garden and transforming the whole city. And of course "The Story of Ferdinand" by Munro Leaf is always a great choice.

Guess I'm blessed. My little guy loves to read (once he's done bouncing off the walls :)

Chandra wrote: "This is something that I think about a lot as well. I actually commented on one of your books regarding something I was discussing with my cousin - how boys are rather static in children's literat..."


This has been a really interesting discussion to follow. Whenever I think of gender stereotypes I tend to think about portrayals of female characters (probably because I am female), but that word you used, Chandra -- "static" -- is a perfect description. I don't remember what I was reading exactly, but it was something about fairy tales, and the author pointed out for all our complaints about how the female characters are portrayed (thank you, Disney, for adding to that) we've completely overlooked the fact that the men kinda get the raw end of the deal, too. Prince Charming has all the personality of a gnat!

It does seem like getting boys involved in reading is more of a challenge (fortunately for me, it's not at the preschool stage of the game, but that raises a question, too -- when does it become one?). In my limited experience, I've noticed that boys generally (not always, of course, but generally) are more interested in nonfiction than they are fiction, and so one of the reason they have a hard time reading or are just not that into it at school is because most of the reading that occurs is of the fiction variety.

I read somewhere that when Jon Scieszka, the author of such fantastic books as The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales and The True Story of the 3 Little Pigs! was an elementary teacher he noticed that his male students struggled with reading and decided to write books that would appeal to them. He actually has a nonprofit organization called Guys Read (http://guysread.com/) that he started to get guys reading. He has lots of recommended titles on the website. Definitely check it out :)

I don't have a picutre book off the top ofmy head that casts boys in non-traditional roles but there is a nice little L'il Critter book by Mercer Mayer called "When I Grow Up". It is narrated by L'il Critters little sister and when she grows up she will be all sorts of things from the traditional ballet dancer to the non-traditional truck driver. Its short and cute and spans the spectrum of occupations:
mtn climber, vet, pet store, fire chief, letter carrier, baker and pilot to name a few.

Also, there was a great record in the 1970's that had several stories on it by lots of famous people (Alan Alda, Marlo Thomas, Harry Belafonte, Carol Channing, Mel Brookes called Free to Be... You and Me (and wouldn't you know I jsut googled it and there is a 35th Anniversary book!) check out http://www.freetobefoundation.org/

I should mention that Free to Be is a collection of poems songs and stories that challenge the stereotypes of boys and girls. It emphasizes acceptance and cooperation.

The cd is available at Amazon.com

Oh and when I googled it several of the songs showed up on youtube. I just watched a couple and man did that bring back some memories.

Neat!!! I'm adding the book to my to-read list! :-) According to Amazon.com it's the same guy from "Torch Song" :-)

Also, are any of you familiar with "Hairspray" the musical? Fierstein played the role of Enda on Braodway, which John Travolta played in the movie. He's something of an icon on Broadway. I assume it's also the same guy.

Chandra wrote: "Is that the Harvey Fierstein from the film Torch Song Trilogy? That is one of my favorite films of all time!"

I'm not sure, actually! I know that Fierstein is an actor, because I remember reading about the book in a children's literature discussion somewhere, but I don't think I've ever seen any of his films. I would imagine it must be the same one... I mean, how many can there be? ;)

Is that the Harvey Fierstein from the film Torch Song Trilogy? That is one of my favorite films of all time!

I agree, Chandra... I tend to think that where a child falls on the gender spectrum, ranging from very feminine to very masculine, is as much innate as learned. On the other hand, reading books like The Sissy Duckling can still be useful, I think, because it exposes the child to the idea that there are different places on the spectrum.

Having a daughter I find that I've had to convince even myself that it's okay for her to be feminine - isn't that ridiculous? We've almost gotten to a point to where we want girls to be so strong that femininity is almost frowned upon (if that makes any sense at all). I think it's so important to expose children to a wide range of activities and interests and let them choose what appeals to them. What builds confidence is for children to feel like they're loved and accepted and validated no matter what they like.

Kathryn: I've just remembered another picture-book with non-traditional roles for a boy. Harvey Fierstein's The Sissy Duckling is about a young male duckling named Elmer who likes to bake and put on puppet shows. At first his father objects, but in the end, Elmer proves that he doesn't need to play baseball in order to be a good duck...

Thanks for all the great suggestions! :-) I am glad that this is striking a chord with many of you and excited to hear that there are already more books on this subject than I'd imagined...

Oh, and yes, I have seen "Billy Elliott" and it was adorable! I want to see the stage musical, now!

Kathryn wrote: "This is a subject that has been on my mind for some time and I'm hoping some of you will have good feedback for me... I realize not all will be on the same page with this and I hope I do not offen..."

Great discussion idea, Kathryn. The whole gender definition thing is rather annoying at this point. Personally, I loath the fact that all the old books left girls behind, and that so many of the more recent books do the opposite. It's time we present a broad view of what's acceptable behavior. Everybody dances, everybody sings, everybody climbs mountains...

Speaking of boys dancing - did you ever seen Billy Elliott? What a cute movie!!!

I just did a really quick search and found many, many picture books about boys dancing, for instance. Here's one title that looks fun: Jose! Born to Dance: The Story of Jose Limon. One idea is to use your local library and pull out of the picture books section and non-fiction section all sorts of unconventional books for boys--on dancing, on singing or playing an instrument, on being an actor, on writing poetry or growing flowers... Doing searches on your library's database, or on Amazon, or on Google are easy ways to find all sorts of out-of-the-box titles--for both girls and boys. Have fun!

When I was little I had a picture book about a little boy mouse whose parents don't come back one day from foraging. He takes care of his baby sister while searching for them. In my memory it is called something like "Mouse House" but I can't find it listed.

I recently found a copy of A Baby for Max which might fit what you're looking for. The pictures are photographs taken by the father of the family; the mother wrote down her son Max's thoughts on welcoming his new sister before and after the birth.

Yes, all those classics did come to mind and Whinnie the Pooh is one of my very-favorites. And, of course, Harry Potter! I think I am looking more for picture books, though of course all suggestions are welcome! :-)

I do think kids are wonderfully open minded and it isn't until we start labeling things as "boy-things" or "girl-things" or whatever that they start to close in their ideas. My best friend until I was ten years old was a boy and we had a blast--I could go from playing dolls with my sister to running around like a wild thing or playing cars with Matt. Wasn't until other boys started teasing him for having a "girl friend" that our friendship dissolved. It was one of the bitterest doses of reality I ever knew!

I guess what I'm saying is that I have no problem exposing girls to "boy books" or boys to "girl books" whatsoever. The books that you are suggesting featuring boys in ballet or playing with stuffed animals and such would just be a welcome addition to expand their world. I plan to include multi-cultural titles, a wide variety of literature. I think that it is one of the most exciting things in the world when one finds a storybook protagonist with whom she can identify--I just want to make sure I provide my kids with the widest breadth of heroes and heroines possible so that THEY can have the choice who to love and admire.

Thanks for the suggestions and keem 'em comin'! :-)

Yes, Winne the Pooh and Christopher Robbin! How could I have forgotten?

And you're also correct that children do gravitate to certain things. My daughter is extremely attracted to all that is feminine. I think this is partially due to her gender, but also partially due to her personality. I could tell you some very funny stories about her in soccer. Let's just say she spends a lot of time holding opponents hands, picking flowers and generally avoiding the ball at all costs. And then we have another little girl on the team who plays like she's a 20 year old Brazilian man trapped in a 4 year old body. This is her first season and her parents have no idea where on earth it came from. Okay, I just got side tracked, but I find this sort of thing so fascinating!

Funny enough some of our very favorite books feature male protagonists (King Bidgood and In the Night Kitchen). Kids are really amazingly open minded, but they're also pretty clear about what they do and don't like ;-)

The original Winnie the Pooh stories are also filled with fun language and a little boy who plays with stuffed animals. There have been many books that have been released with boys enjoying ballet, etc in the last several years. I'll try to dig up some titles for you.
As I now have had two boys, mine have been willing to read tales on both sides of the road simply because they're readers. They'll just as easily read a story about "Mabel Dancing" as they will about St. Patrick or dinosaurs... Times have really changed regarding what's available and okay for boys to be involved in and read, but you'll also find out how quickly they do gravitate, despite even concerted efforts, to books and activities on trucks and tools and dinosaurs and warriors...

Oh, Chris van Allsburg! He often features little boys in his picture books!

The Garden of Abdul Gasazi and Polar Express are two that I love!

This is something that I think about a lot as well. I actually commented on one of your books regarding something I was discussing with my cousin - how boys are rather static in children's literature and girls seem to get to do and be just about anything. My main worry is that there seems to be so much wonderful reading material that appeals to girls to get them involved in reading and I'm not sure the same true for boys... I know that one of the issues that I've heard is facing libraries is getting boys to feel comfortable there - particularly boys of color.

I'm going to think about this a little more and see what I come up with.

Right off the top of my head:

Dear Mr. Henshaw by Beverly Cleary
Stuart Little by E.B. White
The Trumpet of the Swan by E.B White
Where the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls
A Dog Called Kitty by Bill Wallace

All are personal favorites I seem to recall they all feature sweet sensitive boys.

Oh, and of course.....Harry Potter!

But you mentioned picture books.... Something aimed at younger readers perhaps? I'll keep thinking....

I don't have anything to add off the top of my head about non-traditional boy stories - I'll try to remember to look through my books and see if anything jumps out.
I am excited about the two Jane Yolen books - my local library has them, so I'll be checking them out!

Abigail wrote: "Kathryn: what an interesting question! While I definitely feel that there's nothing wrong with boys being interested in the traditional "masculine" pursuits, I also feel that there's nothing wrong ..."
So well said, Abigail! That's exactly what I'm talking about. What I'm looking for are books that reflect both sides for both boys and girls--showing variety and choice rather than standard expectations only--I know there are a great number of truly good stories that reflect the usual roles and I will certainly be eager to share those with my kids eventually. I will definitely watch for Yolen's books. Thanks!

Kathryn: what an interesting question! While I definitely feel that there's nothing wrong with boys being interested in the traditional "masculine" pursuits, I also feel that there's nothing wrong with them exploring traditionally "feminine" areas of interest. I use the quotation marks because I'm not always convinced that these demarcations are 100% legitimate. But that's a bigger question...

It's interesting, because despite the claims that feminism has somehow emasculated men, I actually think that the traditional gender signifiers have remained fairly strong for men and boys. Feminism has however, made it much more "acceptable" for girls to step outside of "their" gender role these days...

I can't say that I know of very many books which encourage boys to explore non-traditional roles, save for Jane Yolen's Mightier Than the Sword: World Folktales for Strong Boys, which presents tales in which boys triumph by being clever, rather than by being physically strong. It's a companion volume to Yolen's Not One Damsel in Distress: World Folktales for Strong Girls, which celebrates girls who don't need to be rescued.

Eeek! Thank you, though, for those suggestions.

For very young children there is the Bob the Builder series. Bob's main helper Wendy is a girl doing construction work which you don't often see. Sometimes the Dora the Explorer also goes against the grain.

Of all the books my kids have I couldn't think of any others really that do go against stereotype --that's pretty scary!

Good question!

This is a subject that has been on my mind for some time and I'm hoping some of you will have good feedback for me... I realize not all will be on the same page with this and I hope I do not offend anyone.

I'm looking for some books, picture books in particular, that respectfully show boys enjoying activities and past times beyond the "typical boy" activities--even possibly "girl" activities like dancing. One book I remember from my own childhood was William's Doll I suppose I am looking for things along this line.


I am distressed at the general tendency which applauds girls for participating in "boy activities" but looks down upon boys holding any interest in "girl activities." Now, I'm only going off my own childhood of the '80s and observations I've made lately but I do not have kids of my own yet so I'm curious for parents' insights into this today. It seems, though, that girls are praised for being "strong" if they want to play sports, for example... But a boy is generally considered a sissy (or even something more in this day and age!) if he shows any interest in gentler things in life typically ascribed to girls. I'm not really going for androgynous--I know that there are definitely differences in interests from gender to gender, but I'd like a few books with more scope for those boys who tend to be more sensitive or contemplative than the majority of their peers (not to say boys who like to do "boy activities" are insensitive, gosh, I hope my point is coming across...!?)

Strangely enough, I think that there are some changes happening due to some pop culture phenomenons--for example, when I was growing up, ballroom dancing was not something that "real men" did. Now, "Dancing with the Stars" shows "manly-men" like football stars and rodeo riders out there dancing and they admit that it is HARD WORK but also rewarding and fun. Moreover, women swoon over the sexy, gentlemanly male dancers. Boys growing up with this show might not have the negative attitudes toward dance that most of my male peers had.

This is a bit of a ramble, but I'm just wondering ARE THERE ANY BOOKS THAT SENSITIVELY REFLECT BOYS BREAKING GENDER STEREOTYPES? I want to have a broad spectrum of books in my home library for when I have kids. If I have girls, I know I will find a plethora of strong heroines for them in literature. If I have boys, I worry that they will not find sensitive, as well as strong, heroes to look up to. (And I'd like to share such books with girls, too!)

Thank you for listening to my plea! :-)