Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (Harry Potter, #1) Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone discussion


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Voldemort jokes/insults

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TotalWhovian TARDIS girl I THINK VOLDEMORTS PARENTS TOOK THE I GOT YOUR NOSE GAME TOO SERIOUSLY!

think of funny insults or jokes about Voldemort


Halle *thePotterHead* You're wrong. Voldemort still has a nose; it just got flattened when he ran into the wrong wall at King's Cross Station.


Kaitlin What if Voldy's last horcrux is his nose? Harry's in for a looooooooooong search then....


Kaitlin Total Whovian, I LOVE YOUR NAME! It's cool :)


Kayla (The Bookish Owl) When noses rained upon the earth to be given to mankind, Voldemort was obviously standing under an umbrella.


TotalWhovian TARDIS girl Kaitie- thank you!


message 7: by TotalWhovian TARDIS girl (last edited Jan 26, 2013 09:58AM) (new) - rated it 4 stars

TotalWhovian TARDIS girl Voldemort is like a teen girl. He has a diary, a tiara, a special cup and a pet he adores. With an obsession with a certain teenage boy.


message 8: by Kaitlin (last edited Jan 31, 2013 06:45PM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Kaitlin Knock Knock.
Who's There?
You Know.
You Know Who?
EXACTLY! AVADA KEDARVA!!!


TotalWhovian TARDIS girl Hey Volde wheres your nose
Oh my gosh harry u cant just ask people why they dont have noses


Isabella (All Da Ladies Luv Leo) Thomas Voldy- Why you so serious?
Sirius-Why you so nosy?
Voldy-Well played


TotalWhovian TARDIS girl WOW!

Snape- I hope, My Lord, you don't find what I am about to say too bald.
Volde- Was that another hair joke severus!


Frances when voldemort cast the curse that was supposed to kill harry it must have rebounded and killed his nose


TotalWhovian TARDIS girl The only explanation why Voldemort stayed in hiding for so long... His surgery on his nose didn't do so well.


Frances TotalWhovian wrote: "The only explanation why Voldemort stayed in hiding for so long... His surgery on his nose didn't do so well."

haha totaly


TotalWhovian TARDIS girl knock knock
whos there
nose
nose who
not voldemorts


Kathy ♡ *Searching some stuff up on Google*
I hate it when.....
Voldemort hides in my turban
Quirrell: I know right....


message 18: by Cara (last edited Jan 29, 2013 02:57PM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Cara If you are what you eat then Voldemort is a unicorn.

Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is called chlaustrophobia, fear of Lord Voldemort is called logic.

Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Voldemort stories.

There used to be a street named after Lord Voldemort, but it was changed because nobody crosses Lord Voldemort and lives.

Some people say that the most devastating weapon known to Muggles was the atomic bomb. Somewhere, Lord Voldemort is still laughing…

Death once had a near-Voldemort experience.

There is no such thing as Voldemort opposers…just people with short lifes.

Voldemort does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Voldemort goes killing.

The chief export of Lord Voldemort is death.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Voldemort out. It failed miserably.

Lord Voldemort sleeps with a night light. Not because Lord Voldemort is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Lord Voldemort.

If you want a list of the Dark Lord's enemies, just check the extinct wizarding families list.

Voldemort invented a language that incorporates dark magic and powerful curses. So the next time Voldemort's torturing you to death, don't be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.

The Dark Lord got a perfect score on his OWLS simply by writing "Voldemort" for every answer. Why? Because Voldemort is never wrong!

Why is Voldemort on Twitter but not Facebook? Because even though he has plenty of followers, he has no friends.

I found these off Google too.

New one!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
You know
You know who?
Exactly


Kaitlin Cara wrote: "If you are what you eat then Voldemort is a unicorn.

Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is called chlaustrophobia, fear of Lord Voldemort is called logic.

Ghosts sit ar..."


NICE! Thanks google :)


Jarred Snowball HEY CARA
those really dry facts you put up there are all wrong.
they arnt lord voldemort ones they are ment to be CHUCK NORRIS


not happy buddy


message 21: by Leni (new) - rated it 4 stars

Leni WARNING: THIS IS SERIOUSLY STRANGE.

Voldy- crucio!
Random dude- Potato! (protego)
Voldy- Mmmm. Sectum-scruptious!

Sorry, I was hungry.


L.E.P Kaitie wrote: "Knock Knock.
Who There?
You Know.
You Know Who?
EXACTLY! AVADA KEDARVA!!!"


HAHA Love it!!


chelsea Normal people :-)
Voldemort :)


message 24: by Kaitlin (last edited Jan 31, 2013 06:46PM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Kaitlin Christina Perri: Who do you think you are? Runnin'
'round leaving scars?
Voldemort: I'M VOLDEMORT SO TAKE THAT!


Luna Belle Pris The amount of love in Voldemort's heart is as plain as the nose on his face.


Angela Best. Post. Ever. So funny.


Tuhina Neogi Halle *thePotterHead* wrote: "You're wrong. Voldemort still has a nose; it just got flattened when he ran into the wrong wall at King's Cross Station."

ROFL.. I agree with your logic.. Serves him right..:)


*~Emo: {Evanna} :Goth~* And now a poem by Tom Riddle...

Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue,
Insult my nose again
And I'll Crucio you

Harry has Glasses
And I rule the world
AVADA KEDAVRA!
I hate you...


Cassie Evanna Cat Morris wrote: "And now a poem by Tom Riddle...

Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue,
Insult my nose again
And I'll Crucio you

Harry has Glasses
And I rule the world
AVADA KEDAVRA!
I hate you..."



ahahahhahaha this tooo funny!!!


Kaitlin Wonder if Voldie's ever considered being a clown?


Ashleigh Jingle Bells
Voldy Smells
Hasn't got a nose
Draco is a daddy's boy
And Bella's just plain mad


Sophie lol


Isabella (All Da Ladies Luv Leo) Thomas Ashleigh wrote: "Jingle Bells
Voldy Smells
Hasn't got a nose
Draco is a daddy's boy
And Bella's just plain mad"


I liked verses 1 to 3 but the last was way to off topic and didn't rhyme


Kaitlin I think it's nice Voldy usually waits until the end of the school year to try killing Harry. He may want him dead and all, but at least Voldy cares about his education :)


Mrinal Gupta Kaitie wrote: "I think it's nice Voldy usually waits until the end of the school year to try killing Harry. He may want him dead and all, but at least Voldy cares about his education :)"

heheh haa funny


message 37: by Emma (new) - rated it 3 stars

Emma Hannah FACEBOOK: Harry Potter was poked by: Lord Voldemort
-----poke back, block, report to Dumbledore

(By the way, i fount this on the internet. Not trying to steal, but I thought this was funny.)


Gabby lol, these are so funny. The one i was going to post is already on here, though :/


Kaitlin found this on the internet:
[image error]


Isabella (All Da Ladies Luv Leo) Thomas Kaitie wrote: "found this on the internet:
"


lol


The Dauntless Shadowhunter of District 9 and 3/4 Kaitie wrote: "found this on the internet:
"

LOL!!!!


Booklover Voldemort: Knock Knock

Lily Potter: Who's there?

Voldemort: You Know

Lily Potter: You-Know-Who!

Voldemort: Exactly


Ansley ARRRGH! Can't...breath...so...funny...


Genevieve I'm getting bored of all these voldemort jokes... everyone "nose" them


Daisy LOL! This disscusion is so funny!


Jamie Taylor If Voldemort's nose was a horocrux Harry would never find it!


message 47: by Swayam (new)

Swayam Harry Potter: hey Voldy! I am getting my nose pierced, do you want to come with me and get your's done too?
Voldemort: Sorry, I have to go for dinner with my parents!
Harry Potter: You win this time!!!


Kathryn Voldemort is like a teenage girl,
he has a diary, a tiara, a special cup, a pet he adores, and a obsession with a famous teenage boy


Kathryn that awkward moment when Voldemort has a sister ( yzma ).......
she actually has the dark mark on her cup!!!!!!


Kathryn voldemort cares about harrys education, he always ttys to kill him at the end of the year!


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