The Perks of Being A Wallflower The Perks of Being A Wallflower question

'We accept the love we think we deserve.' Do you Agree?
Angeline Joseph Angeline (last edited Dec 14, 2012 09:28PM ) Dec 14, 2012 09:25PM
What do you think of that line? Does it apply to all people? I'm sorry I thinking too much. I just saw the movie and it was awesome!

I agree with this, completely. I've been in a few relationships, at varying points in my life. Hindsight is 20/20...but there was at least one of those that I let go on, not because I didn't think I could do better, but because I thought it's all I deserved at the time.

Outside of that instance, I believe I deserve more because I'm at a better place with myself and in life. So that's the love I get now.

I love that quote so much because I believe in it 100%. All I have to do is look around me and I see it. I have friends who don't have enough faith in themselves to realize that they deserve better than the rude, trashy guys they date. I know a guy who won't let anyone in because he doesn't think he deserves people who love him even though they're right there and willing. My brother has such low self-esteem that he thinks no one cares about him, when in reality, he just can't accept the love of those who do care. "We accept the love we think we deserve." Whenever I find myself judging someone for their choices, I step back and think of that quote.

I'm not sure there is a truer quote when it comes to a universal quality people look for when trying to find love. Unlike the book, it doesn't have to be a tragic situation though. You could believe you deserve the best, therefore that is what you search for. I think love 100% comes down to the way you feel about yourself and the one you're with.

I think that's just another way of saying "you get what you settle for" which I think is generally true of most people. It's not even necessarily about whether we deserve the love we have, rather it's more about whether we feel we deserve (or can get) better.

I agree. When we lack self confidence, we tend to find people who affirm our self-dislike, because we think we don't deserve any better. It makes me so sad. Respect yourself...and others will know they have to respect you to even get close!

"We accept the love we think we deserve" The pivotal words which should be concerned on are "accept" and "deserve" in some sense they juxtapose, despite the the analogous meaning. "Accepting" is allowing ourselves to be loved, or rather loving someone. However, deserve is more, the love you've earned and created, you've gradually won the love - sometimes this isn't a good idea, we think we've deserved it, but this could just be leading to our ignorance. This perfectly interlinks with Charlie's predicament with Sam and Helen. Charlie believes hes deserved the love with Sam; however Charlie's ignorance suggests it's something more, leading into the hurtful truth.

I want to see the movie as i loved the book so much! But i don't really think that this quote applies. Like if someone is in a relationship where they are abused my their partner, they don't deserve it, and they know it, they're just too scared to break up that relationship in fear of what the other would do to them or someone that they love.

Aida I totally agree with you Gabby!
Jul 09, 2013 08:16AM

I wholeheartedly agree, in most cases.

I agree completely. As we go through life and meet new people, we gain new experiencse. Sometimes the people we love, love us just as much, and sometimes they love us with not as much truthfulness as we do them. But it's hard to tell the difference sometimes, because we believe we should get just what we give, so we don't stop to think for a second. Thoughts become truth and truth becomes permanent, hence, leading us to settle for whatever comes our way; whatever we think we deserve.

Yes. People accept the love they think they deserve. A girl will stay with a person who is bad for her and a guy with a girl who is bad for him because they truly don't believe they deserve better.

Yes but that does not necessarily mean that we are always given the love that we deserve.

I agree.

This quote is spot on!

When I read the book, I was also thinking about Aunt Helen towards the end. Charlie loved her even though she didn't deserve it. Love isn't something to be deserved but given.

I absolutely believe this. I think we never believe we deserve more. We only look for someone we can be content with and we settle all the time. It's safer.

I believe it can apply with all kinds of relationships; ones with your parents, other family members, friends, partners. You can often only accept love and friendship when you feel as though you deserve it, and it should be yours.

Every time I hear that quote I just have to stop and think for a minute because it is so true.
We accept the love we think we deserve. Just read that slowly.
It just makes perfect sense. I don't know how to explain other than that.

I think the quote applies to most relationships, although maybe not all of them. In case of abused relationship, some of them believe that they are guilty for how they been treated, that doesnt mean they diserve it, but some stay for fear, but others because they think they deserve that.

when i read this line in the book i almost wanted to cry it hit me because i was doing the exact thing ,being with a guy i thought was ok but knew i deserved more because we would constantly break up , is the movie really as good as the book? :)

Anthea The book is 100% better than the movie.
Jul 11, 2013 11:17AM

This quote is absolutely true.

I don’t think we accept the love we think we deserve.
I think we look for the love we think we deserve, but if we happen to get more than that, we generally accept it.

the truth is you think low of yourself people will think low of you , you dont love yourself how would someone love you ? you often blame your self for things when they go wrong in "love" that's why you don't argue . we often catch our self saying " i don't deserve this " its all about self confidence and strength ..



i agree that people in abusive relationship do not deserve to suffer like that. but do they know that?

i think the quote is true. and i basically agree with what Mave up there is saying :)

I do agree that we as humans accept the love we think we deserve because it is our instinct to like any kind of love we receive. Although we may not want to admit it at times, we do let people mistreat us because we control our own-selves; it is a matter of just finding that inner strength and making a move to help yourself. An example would be when Charlie's sister allows her boyfriend to hit her in the face. She chooses to stay with him instead of finding someone better. She eventually finds someone who treats here right but it takes her a while.

I whole-heartedly agree with this quote. Sometimes we don't command respect or accept love because we believe that we don't deserve it. When you believe that you should recieve these things you'll find that you get more and more of them.

deleted member Dec 18, 2012 08:40PM   0 votes
In a way it does, happens to be true.

back to top

all discussions on this book | post a new topic

Books mentioned in this topic

The Perks of Being A Wallflower (other topics)