Pride and Prejudice Pride and Prejudice discussion


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When do you believe that Lizzy and Darcy fell in love?

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Steph I considered this after a brief discussion on another question. I always felt that they loved each other very early on, but their 'pride and prejudice' get in the way of admitting those feelings. I always think of the saying regarding love and hate not being opposites, instead the opposite of love is indifference...clearly the amount of time Lizzy spends dwelling on thoughts of Mr Darcy, negative or otherwise to me show something far from indifference. I just wondered what others felt…


Jeni I, too, think it was very early, perhaps even instantly, but it took a long while to realize that love. Once they got past the social reasons between them and the misunderstandings, it was as if they were just recognizing and accepting those feelings.


message 3: by Jeffrey (last edited Nov 30, 2012 09:00AM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Jeffrey I may be way off-base but coming from the manly point of view, I think Mr. Darcy was almost immediately in love with Elizabeth. However, I don't think Elizabeth really fell in love until much later because she had so much to work through from the pain that Darcy initially had caused her and her family (Separating Jane from Mr. Bingley). Soon after the disastrous proposal at Mr. Collins' home her regard changed by small increments. The letter he gave her following that debacle started it but I think Elizabeth really began to sincerely consider that she could love Mr. Darcy on her visit to Pemberley with the Gardiners. Once she found out about his gallant rescue of Lydia and the saving of her reputation, she was well on her way....


message 4: by Louise (last edited Nov 30, 2012 04:57PM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Louise at Pemberly hall:) wait I answered the where part...


6 Years 45,000 Pages I think Mr. Darcy fell in love with Lizzy at the ball where he talks about her "fine eyes" but I think Lizzy fell in love with him later on, probably after she reflected on the letter he gives her after his first disastrous proposal. She says later on that she started to love him at Pemberley, but I think it may have just been there where she first realized it, and that she actually loved him a bit earlier.


Louise 6 Years wrote: "I think Mr. Darcy fell in love with Lizzy at the ball where he talks about her "fine eyes" but I think Lizzy fell in love with him later on, probably after she reflected on the letter he gives her ..."

yes! why did I forgot the 'fine eyes' part hmmm


6 Years 45,000 Pages Louise wrote: "yes! why did I forgot the 'fine eyes' part hmmm"

That's one of my favorite lines because of how mercilessly Miss Bingley teases him about it forever afterwards! lol


Louise 6 Years wrote: "Louise wrote: "yes! why did I forgot the 'fine eyes' part hmmm"

That's one of my favorite lines because of how mercilessly Miss Bingley teases him about it forever afterwards! lol"


really hate that woman grrr.haha


6 Years 45,000 Pages Louise wrote: "really hate that woman grrr.haha"

Me too, although I do feel kind of bad for her at the same time. She just doesn't know how to persue a man without driving him nuts. But on the other hand, she is mean to Jane, which is just inexcusable.


Lesley I think Mr Darcy fell in love with Elizabeth when Jane was sick at Netherfied & Elizabeth came to look after Jane. Mr Darcy kept trying to avoid Elizabeth to stop himself falling in love with her.


Lesley I think Elizabeth softened towards Darcy after the letter & but only realised it after she told him about Lydia's alopement & he was walking up & doen the room
".... it was eaxactly calculated to make her understand her own wishes; and never had she so honestly felt that she could have loved him, as now,when all love must be in vain."


6 Years 45,000 Pages Lesley wrote: "'...never had she so honestly felt that she could have loved him, as now,when all love must be in vain.'"

That's one of my favorite quotes from the book!!


message 13: by Barb (new) - rated it 5 stars

Barb I think this was love at first sight for Darcy, and it would have been for Elizabeth if he had asked her to dance at the assembly. By insulting her, he changed her attraction to him to a very strong dislike. But, she was never indifferent to him. This is what makes me believe they could have been together from the first moment, but for their Price and Prejudice.


Louise I think this would be the answer to question above:)
“I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun.”*giggle Mr.Darcy just made me swoooon:)


Laura I believe Elizabeth hoped Darcy would not be at Pemberley because of the scathing way she refused his proposal and her obvious error in judging his character. She would be too embarassed to face him after such a dreadful misjudgement. She believed he would have every right to shun her had they met again.
gertt wrote: "I agree that both Elizabeth and Darcy were strongly attracted to each other from the start. Darcy resisted his temptation because of Elizabeth's station, until he realized that it was Elizabeth tha..."


Laura My favourite line!
Louise wrote: "I think this would be the answer to question above:)
“I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I kn..."



Laura For me this pinpoints Elizabeth's despair at having lost Darcy forever and simultaneously realizing she had a strong affection for him.
6 Years wrote: "Lesley wrote: "'...never had she so honestly felt that she could have loved him, as now,when all love must be in vain.'"

That's one of my favorite quotes from the book!!"



Louise Laura wrote: "My favourite line!
Louise wrote: "I think this would be the answer to question above:)
“I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ag..."


glad you love that too...:)we keep on coming back for more!


Louise Laura wrote: "My favourite line!
Louise wrote: "I think this would be the answer to question above:)
“I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ag..."


glad you love that too...:)we keep on coming back for more!


Genean Message 18 from Laura just about nailed it - for I believe the romance went back as far as Netherfield where Jane lay ill. As much as they tried to stay away from each other it became more like moth to flame as they circled each others measure and found common values to their liking.


Lesley All this talk, I had to go & get out my copy. I am now rereading P & P for the I don't know howmany times. Bliss


Diane It was love at first sight! They were just too proud to admit it even to themselves. :D


Leigh Anne I agree with the "fine eyes' part and obviously Darcy tried everything he could to stop giving much attention to Lizzy when they were staying at Netherfield because of Jane's ill condition. But due to many factors, he tried to suppress and forget his regard for her. Lizzy started to realize the "potential" of her feelings when Darcy confessed his proposal and upon reading the letter. Then those feelings greatly increased when she saw the change in Darcy's behavior and efforts at the latter part. :)


message 24: by Jeffrey (last edited Dec 06, 2012 06:34AM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Jeffrey ....Whenever Elizabeth and Darcy were together in the same room she spied Darcy looking at her intently more than once, which was somewhat an un-gentleman-like behavior.....but....the poor man was just so smitten with love that he could not help himself.

And from Ch 43, I LOVE this line as Elizabeth contemplated her first impression upon arriving at Pemberley: "....They were all of them warm in their admiration; and at that moment she felt that to be mistress of Pemberley might be something!" I think gazing upon Darcy's Pemberley was one of those armor-piercing moments that opened Elizabeth's heart in a powerfully romantic way.
Can you just Imagine Her emotions at that moment? WOW...


message 25: by Ame (new) - rated it 5 stars

Ame I think Elizabeth fell in love with him at first sight at the ball but got very hurt and offended by Darcy's remarks about her..... so even though the pride part of the book has been related to Darcy I've always thought it fell on her as well.... as she was to proud to let herself love someone who disliked her.

As for Darcy... I think it took him about a bit longer.... but the third time they met I think he fell in love.....


Eliza Lizzie herself said that she didn't even know when she first started loving him, it had come on so gradually.
I agree though, that she wouldn't have been so set against and upset with him if there hadn't been some small molecule of interest. Her pride clouded her true feelings.


message 27: by Cara (new) - rated it 5 stars

Cara There wasn't ever one moment. Or maybe there would have been, but they were so wrapped up in other things that they didn't notice it.


Penelope For me there is a difference between falling in love and being attracted to someone. I truly believe that when Elizabeth first saw Mr Darcy she liked him physically but upon looking at his behavior and hearing him calling her 'not handsome enough' she just started to dislike him. Mr Darcy on the other hand was so busy thinking this place was so unlike the type of society he frequented he did not see immediately the good things about it, and also did not pay attention to Elizabeth's beauty or wit. I think he started to fall in love when they started to associate, and when she stayed at Netherfield taking care of Jane, he got the chance to really look at her and to listen to her opinions. For Elizabeth it started with the letter, she started to tear down the image she had of Darcy, I think that letter made her look at those past months with a different perspective. When she arrived at Pemberley she was already in love, it just got more intense when she saw where he lived (not because of how expensive things were because she wasn't as impressed by Lady Catherine's state).
What I love about them is that they are not perfect for each other in the beginning, but they change and become better persons through all of the things that happen and then they truly are perfect for one another.


Sandy Quoted from Chapter 59.
=====
"Will you tell me how long you have loved him?"
"it has been coming on so gradually, that I hardly know hwen it began. But I believe I must date it from my first seeing his beautiful grounds at Pemberley."


message 30: by Cara (new) - rated it 5 stars

Cara Sandy wrote: "Quoted from Chapter 59.
=====
"Will you tell me how long you have loved him?"
"it has been coming on so gradually, that I hardly know hwen it began. But I believe I must date it from my first seein..."


Afterwards, however, Jane tells her to be serious and Lizzy laughs.


message 31: by Ama (new) - rated it 5 stars

Ama Cara wrote: "Sandy wrote: "Quoted from Chapter 59.
=====
"Will you tell me how long you have loved him?"
"it has been coming on so gradually, that I hardly know hwen it began. But I believe I must date it from ..."


i guess that was meant to be a joke.that was lizzie's character.she didn't know when she fell in love with darcy so she just had to base on something and pemberly was what she found.


message 32: by Noe (new) - rated it 5 stars

Noe Penelope wrote: "For me there is a difference between falling in love and being attracted to someone. I truly believe that when Elizabeth first saw Mr Darcy she liked him physically but upon looking at his behavior..."

This is the perfect answer. Thanks for putting it so well.


message 33: by Stephen (last edited Jun 13, 2013 07:02PM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Stephen Penelope wrote: "For me there is a difference between falling in love and being attracted to someone. ..."

Couldn't agree with your post more!

My personal belief is that love at first sight is a myth. One can be interested, intrigued or even aroused at first sight but to be enthralled or to be in love requires a bit more development.

I think that Elizabeth was "Interested" from first sight but that Darcy was too distracted at first to notice her. It was only when she started expressing her opinions and he began to see her as being different from the herd that he started to fall.


Eliza When did they fall in love? Right away. Automatic romantic response. :)

Honestly, I agree with Lizzy herself. It came on gradually. When she first met Darcy, all she knew about him was he was rich, handsome, tall, and pompous. The last one kind of threw the first three out the window. ;)
But those first three did pique her interest, as they would anyone's, even if it isn't a romantic interest. She didn't "love" him or even "like" him when she first met him. He was rude and not worth her time. Then he insulted her friends and family. Even lower on her esteem list.
And then, he proposed to her. A situation like that, however uncomfortable, still makes one think. No doubt Lizzy was looking back over her whole acquaintance with the man, analyzing and so forth. And still angry with him, of course. But then she learned the truth about him. I think this was the point when she first started feeling any kind of attraction for him. Not love, necessarily, but an interest. As more of his true nature came to her knowledge, the whole Pemberley visit, for example, and seeing him in person completely changed made him an object of even greater interest. She got to know his true nature, making him "the best man she had ever known." Then she realized she loved him when she thought she had lost him over Lydia's disgrace. And it probably hit her smack in the face when she realized he went through the discomfort of having to hunt down the scoundrel Wickham because Lydia was stupid (as usual), and ALL for HER. Elizabeth Bennett. If she wasn't sure whether she loved him before that, she knew then.

Just my opinion. It was gradual. Veeeerrrry gradual.


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