He-Man Smells Trouble: A Dissertation

Rejection, identity, and what an individual will do to belong to the group are all themes tackled by author Bryce Knorr in his novel, "He-Man Smells Trouble". The book focuses on the skunk-like villain, Stinkor, and the heroic android, aptly named Roboto. These two are opposite sides of the same muscle-bound coin, out to prove their worth with opposing results.

The story begins with a tragic scene in which court-jester of Eternia, Orko, conjures the hologram of a dragon, causing Roboto to blast apart a room's entire wall and part of the roof as he tries to subdue the mirage. Even as he uses his own body to protect Orko from the falling stones, he is berated for his unintentional clumsiness. "We need more magic and fewer robots. They're just not like us," says Orko. Roboto, horrified by the devastating consequences of his good intentions, makes the decision to leave the palace. As the dejected robot sadly departs, industrial engineer, Man-at-Arms, Roboto's creator, explains that "Roboto is very strong, but words can hurt him, too."

Is this possible? Can a mess of wires and circuitry feel emotional loss? Or is it simply an impulse of his mainframe, computing the failure of his responses to please his masters? Is there a difference?

Meanwhile, on Snake Mountain, Stinkor is dealing with the same type of verbal scolding from his superior, Skeletor, simply for his natural (mal)odor. "I never want to smell you again! You smell terribly even when you haven't fired the stink-ray. Get out of here!" The crest-fallen Stinkor is banished, never to commiserate with his colleagues, Beast-man, Kobra Khan, or Trapjaw again.

The two outcasts are textbook "everymen", characters we can empathize with because their shortcomings mirror those of humanity. Who hasn't broken wind in the company of co-workers or an employer? Not really grounds for termination of employment, but embarassing nonetheless. Demolishing half a room with a laser is also easily relatable to the common man. Haven't we all done something destructive like driving a car through the entrance of a Best Buy, or crashed two airplanes into two buildings by mistake? Of course we (humanity) have. The loss of dignity and acceptance in the group setting is devastating to the psyche; as it is ranked third on Maslow's hierarchy of self-actualization, one cannot be whole without embracement by the peer-unit. It is the necessity of self-actualization that leads the two to vindicate themselves, as we all must. For example, upon suffering from cock-failure on the set of a porno, I went to my cousin's house and raped his pet rabbit. "Someday," declares Stinkor, "They'll love my smell, or else."

It is not a coincidence that Stinkor wanders to a desert named "The Sands of Time". We all amble through the wasteland of despair when rejected, and only time can heal these wounds. Even in this day in age, there is no medicine known to treat depression. Even the animals aviod him until he comes to a volcano, an allegory for his pent-up rage, where he meets Roboto, and befriends this twin-in-conflict.

The two become involved with a group of Space-bots who are intent on completing the Power Sprial with a white rod that contains all the knowledge in the universe. Stinkor, inherently evil, plans to double-cross Roboto, who the Space-bots have chosen as their leader, by stealing the rod. "...then Skeletor will listen to me. I'll make him love my smell!" I will ignore the obvious homosexual overtones from the preceding quote, as well as the blatently phallic power-rod, as they would distract from my thesis. Although they have cast him out, Stinkor will go to any length to redeem himself to his group, including severing ties with someone who has accepted him unconditionaly, offending smell and all. This is his downfall, he can't see the forest for the trees, or rather, the cliche for the context. His undoing is complete when he is ambushed by He-Man and Sy-Klone as he tries to give the power-rod to Skeletor.

Roboto, however, is redeemed by saving the day when he retrieves the rod to replace it in the spiral before it overheats and explodes. I will also neglect to comment on this anti-nuclear power statement. By acting heroic and doing the right thing, which comes naturally to him, Roboto earns back the respect of He-Man and Orko. It's the age-old adage "be yourself".

The only thing I can find wrong with this book is one particular line of dialogue spoken by Stinkor: "This rod will give Skeletor all the knowledge in the universe, but only if I give it to him." Can you be any more fucking redundant? Can you be any more fucking redundant?

By trying too hard to fit in, Stinkor once again ostracizes himself from Skeletor and the villains. However, Roboto also learns that just because someone acts nice to you, that doesn't mean they're your friend, they may, in fact, steal an omnipotent dildo to give to their friend and blow up the world. This is easily the most moving book I've ever read, therefore I give it 1 star out of a possible 4.