Recipes from the Stars
by Dante
genre:
Cooking, Food & Wine
description:
Collection of recipes from famous people, culinarians, and other castoffs of society.
chapters
chapter 1:
Ray, Bourdain, Lansbury
chapter 2:
Friedgen, Bleeth, Culkin
chapter 3:
Poe, Gabor, Romano
chapter 4:
Gibson, Nagin, Scott
chapter 5:
Ice, Kelleher, Bullock
chapter 6:
Morissette, Gottfried, DiCaprio
chapter 7:
Robbins, Fogle, Kimmel
Ray, Bourdain, Lansbury
chapter 1
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updated 01/16/08
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1823 characters
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0 people liked it
RACHAEL RAY'S TURTLE CHEESECAKE
___________________
To make turtle cheesecake, go to the Safeway and buy a plain vanilla
bean cheesecake. It is important that the cheesecake have no
topping or internal mixtures. Go to a local bog and bring a wet
glove with the fingers cut off. Insert hand in turtle hole and
remove adolescent turtle. You can tell they are adolescent from the
complexion. Persuade turtle out of shell and into wet glove with
superior salesmanship. Take shell home and place on top of
cheesecake. Put cake and shell into microwave. Cook on lowest
setting for 3 hours. When thermometer pops up (or shell has become
soft), remove from microwave and let set for 10 minutes. Sprinkle
with powdered sugar and top with mint leaf. Serves 8.
ANTHONY BOURDAIN'S BAKED ALASKA
_______________
To make Baked Alaska, go to RadioShack and ask for a magnifying
glass. They will direct you to the nearest optometrist. Buy a
magnifying glass. Visit southern California. Set brushfires alight
by combining magnifying glass with sunlight. Smoke from brushfires
will induce global warming. When Aletian islands are completely
undersea, congratulations. You have baked Alaska.
ANGELA LANSBURY'S FLACCID CRANBERRY PUFFS
________________________________________
Buy old tape of "Murder, She Wrote" on eBay knockoff (eBay will not
accept Discover card). Study the nooks and crannies on Angela
Lansbury's face. When you have watched her enough to crack the
mystery of life and be in complete awe in the wonder of it all, go
to Wal-Mart. Buy pound of cranberries and small styrofoam bowls.
Soak white bread in cranberry juice and pack in bowls ON TOP of
cranberries. Stir with phallus. You can convince your enemies to
consume the dish by saying, "Here try it, it's what the celebrities
eat."
back to top
___________________
To make turtle cheesecake, go to the Safeway and buy a plain vanilla
bean cheesecake. It is important that the cheesecake have no
topping or internal mixtures. Go to a local bog and bring a wet
glove with the fingers cut off. Insert hand in turtle hole and
remove adolescent turtle. You can tell they are adolescent from the
complexion. Persuade turtle out of shell and into wet glove with
superior salesmanship. Take shell home and place on top of
cheesecake. Put cake and shell into microwave. Cook on lowest
setting for 3 hours. When thermometer pops up (or shell has become
soft), remove from microwave and let set for 10 minutes. Sprinkle
with powdered sugar and top with mint leaf. Serves 8.
ANTHONY BOURDAIN'S BAKED ALASKA
_______________
To make Baked Alaska, go to RadioShack and ask for a magnifying
glass. They will direct you to the nearest optometrist. Buy a
magnifying glass. Visit southern California. Set brushfires alight
by combining magnifying glass with sunlight. Smoke from brushfires
will induce global warming. When Aletian islands are completely
undersea, congratulations. You have baked Alaska.
ANGELA LANSBURY'S FLACCID CRANBERRY PUFFS
________________________________________
Buy old tape of "Murder, She Wrote" on eBay knockoff (eBay will not
accept Discover card). Study the nooks and crannies on Angela
Lansbury's face. When you have watched her enough to crack the
mystery of life and be in complete awe in the wonder of it all, go
to Wal-Mart. Buy pound of cranberries and small styrofoam bowls.
Soak white bread in cranberry juice and pack in bowls ON TOP of
cranberries. Stir with phallus. You can convince your enemies to
consume the dish by saying, "Here try it, it's what the celebrities
eat."
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