The Near Death Experiment

SAM, a guard

LUKE, a prisoner

DR. MARTIN, a psychiatrist

JOCELYN, an assistant


SCENE ONE:

The present. In a prison conference room that has a table and a couple of chairs. A prisoner, LUKE, sits, cuffed and confined to a chair. SAM, a prison guard, stands not far off with his arms crossed.

SAM
...So loser, you’re really going to go through with this?

LUKE
I signed the fuckin’ papers, didn’t I?

SAM
Yeah, but you can chicken-shit-out any time you want.

LUKE
Don’t worry, dickhead, I won’t.

SAM
We’ll see....

Enters DR. MATTHEW MARTIN and his assistant, JOCELYN, who holds a small video camera/recorder and tripod.

DR. MARTIN
Hello.

LUKE
Fuck you!

DR. MARTIN
Are you ready?

LUKE
Yeah, I’m ready, fudge-packer. Are you? Hey, who’s the little bitch?


DR. MARTIN
This is Jocelyn Cage, my assistant. She’s here to document.

JOCELYN
(A small wave.)
Hello.

LUKE
(To JOCELYN.)
Howdy, sugar-tits. Hows about a ride before I die? A blow before I go? (Laughing.) Give me some head before I’m dead?

SAM
(Kicking the chair hard.)
Shut up, shit-head!

LUKE
Ah, Sam, don’t get jealous. I’ll let you wash my cock when she’s done. You have your knee pads with you, don’t you, honey?

DR. MARTIN
(To SAM.)
Do not respond.
(To JOCELYN.)
Set up the camera, please.
(To LUKE.)
Luke, I know we’ve done this before. But I want to go over it one more time so that you completely understand and that we have your consent and the entire procedure documented on video. Jocelyn, you can begin with the interview.

JOCELYN
Ah, okay…
(Reading from a paper while videotaping.) Doctor, could you please identify yourself and describe the experiment?

DR. MARTIN
(Speaking into the camera.)
I am Dr. Martin Matthews. We are here at Fargo Bay Penitentiary with Luke Phelps, a twenty-five-year-old, convicted rapist and murderer. Mr. Phelps is in the third year of a 40-year-to-life sentence. He has agreed to take part in this near death experiment willingly, in exchange for a possible early parole.

JOCELYN
Please explain how the experiment will work.

LUKE
Yeah, and while he’s explaining, why don’t you experiment on my dick, pretty woman.

DR. MARTIN
Don’t worry, we can edit that out. Now, the first part of the experiment will comprise of putting the subject to death for a short period of time and then reviving him. Based upon anecdotal evidence from numerous individuals who have had near death experiences, a life-changing event occurs. The point of my experiment is to prove that NDEsnear death experiencescan be used as a new therapeutic tool. We suspect that this event can lead to a change in outlook and be the first step in growth for those with stunted social and emotional development, and sociopathic tendencies.
(To LUKE.)
Mr. Phelps, do you understand the risks involved in this experiment? Being put to death and being brought back to life is a procedure that has no guarantees.

LUKE
Yeah, I understand. I ain’t afraid.

SAM
Bullshit.

DR. MARTIN
In the second part of this experiment, if the first part is successful, Mr. Phelps will receive intensive therapy and be tested and evaluated for a period of at least twelve months to determine if his near death experience has led to a significant change in his behavior.

SAM
How will you know he’s not fakin’?

DR. MARTIN
That’s the next question, right, Jocelyn?

JOCELYN
What safeguards are in place to determine if the subject has truly had a significant evolution or is just pretending to be different in order to secure an early release?


DR. MARTIN
During the year of therapy and evaluation, Mr. Phelps will be subjected to a battery of tests and be under a microscope both figuratively and literally. I am quite confident that if Mr. Phelps is faking improvement and change, we will catch him before he is released.

JOCELYN
What key questions do you expect to answer with this experiment?

LUKE
I have a key question, right now.

DR. MARTIN
What is it?

LUKE
Is she gonna show me her pussy or not?
(He laughs loud and heartily, then winks at her.)
I bet you’re finger-lickin’ good.

SAM
Doc, would you mind, if I smacked the shit out of him?

DR. MARTIN
Yes, I would. Ignore him, please. (To the camera.) The key questions to be answered are: Will there be any psychological change to the subject? And if so, will the change be positive and significant enough to permit the subject to be re-introduced into society without fear of recidivism? The third and final part of this experiment is studying the subject, if and when he is released from prison and reintroduced to society. Our hope that if the experiment is successful it could lead to a new therapy for treating and rehabilitating violent, previously untreatable, seemingly incorrigible criminals
(Turning to LUKE.)
Are you ready, Mr. Phelps?

LUKE
I was born ready! Now, I’m dead ready. (Laughs.) Hey, if I don’t come back, at least I’ll be out of this mother-fuckin’ hell-hole, right?

DR. MARTIN
All right, let’s move him.

SAM
(Pulls him out of the chair and shoves him out the door.)
Hey, shit-for-brains, be sure to say hello to Satan for me.

Lights out.


SCENE TWO:

The next day, in the prison conference room. LUKE, dazed and confused, again is cuffed and confined to the chair. SAM stands as before. After a moment, he speaks to the prisoner.

SAM
...So, Puke, how was it?

LUKE
What?

SAM
How was your “experience”? Feel all good inside now?

Before LUKE can respond, DR. MARTIN enters with a clipboard and JOCELYN returns to the video camera on the tripod.

DR. MARTIN
Hello, Mr. Phelps! How are you feeling?

LUKE
All right, I guess.

DR. MARTIN
So medically you came through the experience without a problem. Physically, every aspect of your health is normal, if not superior. So let’s talk about how you’re feeling mentally and emotionally.

LUKE
Okay.

DR. MARTIN
Why don’t we start by telling us your thoughts?


LUKE
My thoughts about what?

DR. MARTIN
About death. What was it like being dead? Can you recall?

LUKE
Yeah.

Pause.

DR. MARTIN
Can you tell us?

LUKE
Yeah.

Pause.

DR. MARTIN
Can you tell us now?

LUKE
Yeah.

Pause.
JOCELYN
Did you meet anyone?

LUKE
Yeah. No. I’m not sure.

DR. MARTIN
Can you please elaborate?

LUKE
What’s that mean?

JOCELY N
Can you tell us more?

LUKE
I didn’t meet a person or anything. I just remember I felt…I felt…I felt…(Starts to tear up.) Safe and warm. Safe and warm is the only way I can describe it. I never, ever in my whole life felt like that before…
(He starts to laugh a little.)

SAM
He’s full of shit. He’s fakin’.

DR. MARTIN
Sam, you need to keep quiet. Luke, a moment ago you were amused about something, can you tell us more about that…

LUKE
(Confused)
Amused?

JOCELYN
Yes, you were laughing. Why?

LUKE
(Brightens)
Oh! I was remembering when I was dead…

JOCELYN
Yes? What was funny about that?

LUKE
I never felt more alive.

JOCELYN
You felt alive when you were dead.

LUKE
(Beaming)
Yeah! It was so cool.

SAM scoffs.

DR. MARTIN
So would you say being close to death was a positive experience.

LUKE
Yeah! Shit, yeah! (Catches himself.) Excuse me, I didn’t mean to swear. I’m sorry, ma’am.

SAM
(laughs)
Damn! He’s good!




DR. MARTIN
Sam, I’m not going to ask you again. (To LUKE) In a few minutes, we are going to put you through a series of psychological tests. The same ones we gave you a few days ago. We are going to give you these tests periodically over the next 12 months. Any questions?

LUKE
Yeah. How can I thank you for doing this for me?

DR. MARTIN looks astonished to a smiling JOCELYN. SAM laughs, shaking his head.

SAM
It’s going to be an interesting year, if he can keep this shit up.

Lights out.



SCENE THREE:

A year later, in the prison conference room. LUKE, wearing a jacket, sits at the table. SAM, the prison guard, sits across from him. When the lights come up, they are chatting like old friends. LUKE has a small suitcase at his side.

SAM
...So, Luke, can you believe you’re getting out today?

LUKE
They signed the papers, didn’t they?

SAM
Yeah, I saw them myself. It’s amazing how much you’ve changed in a year.

LUKE
It didn’t take a year to change. It just took all of you a year to believe the change. But I understand that.

SAM
So can you try to tell me again what it was like?



LUKE
Sam, I told you, it’s impossible to put into words. It was just so beautiful and peaceful and it’s nothing to be afraid of. Really. It’s like you’re in a bubble of complete love. All you can think of is how cool and colorful everything is. Colors like you never seen before….(Sighs) Now, I feel like it’s my mission in life now to let everyone know about this...I just gotta figure out how to do it, so that people believe, I mean, really believe it.

SAM
I’m sure once you’re out there you’ll figure out a way.

Enters DR. MARTIN and JOCELYN.

DR. MARTIN
Good morning, Lucas.

LUKE
Good morning, Dr. Martin. Howdy, Jocelyn. How are you both today?

DR. MARTIN
I’m great.

JOCELYN
I’m good, too. How are you, Luke?

LUKE
I’m getting out of prison today: So I’m feeling pretty fine!

DR. MARTIN
Well, you’ve been a wonderful test subject. You’ve changed and succeeded more than we could have ever hoped for. And thanks to your courage to go through with this experiment, many others will start having this procedure done...And, dare I say it, our world will rapidly become a safer and happier place.

LUKE
Thank you for givin’ me this chance. It really did change my life for the better. You’re the best.

DR. MARTIN
Thanks, Luke. (Pause.) Okay, well, I guess this is good bye for now. We’ll keep in touch with you and your parole officer and the counselor at your half-way house. And, of course, we’ll see you once a month for follow-up assessments.

LUKE
Great.

DR. MARTIN
(Extending his hand.)
So farewell and good luck.

LUKE
(Hugging him.)
Thanks, Doc. God bless.
(He hugs JOCELYN.)
Thanks for everything, Josh. Be sure to send me a wedding invitation.

JOCELYN
(Hugging DR. MARTIN around the waist.)
We will. Take care.

SAM
(Putting his arm over LUKE’s shoulders.)
C’mon, I’ll walk you out.

As they exit, lights out.


SCENE FOUR:

Less than a month later, in the prison conference room. When the lights come up DR. MARTIN is sitting, with his head in his hands. JOCELYN stands with her arms crossed.

DR. MARTIN
I can’t believe it. I simply cannot believe it.

JOCELYN
I know. I can’t either…Maybe it wasn’t him.

DR. MARTIN
Jocelyn, acting stupid right now is not going to help— (Exploding.) Of course it was him!

JOCELYN
(Angrily, slowly and succinctly.)
It has not been proven in a court of law.

DR. MARTIN
He confessed!

JOCELYN
That does not mean he did it. People have been known to confess to crimes they did not do. Isn’t that true?

Enters LUKE, again in prison clothes, sits at the table with hands in cuffs. SAM walks behind him.

LUKE
(Cheery)
Hey, Doc! Hi, Josh. How’s it going?

SAM
(Pushes him toward the chair.)
Sit.

LUKE
(Cheery)
What’s with all the long faces?

DR. MARTIN
Explain to me why you did it?

LUKE
(Innocently.)
Why I did what?

DR. MARTIN
You know what—
( Strained but patiently.)
Luke, did you strangle six individuals upon your release?

LUKE
Six? No. (Pause.) I think it was more like nine. I lost track. I know I didn’t strangle the all. Some I just snap their necks. It’s faster and easier. You just grab, twist and snap.

DR. MARTIN
Luke, why the hell did you kill again?!

LUKE
Oh, isn’t it clear?

DR. MARTIN
No, it is not.


LUKE
Well, you know, they were all homeless people - drug addicts or drunks or skanky hoes and their lives here on earth were so sad and lonely and everything. When I saw them I started thinking they are living in hell. And I really wanted them to go to heaven, like I did. You know, the beauty, the peace, the warm, total love and everything.

DR. MARTIN
So you murdered them!

LUKE
Don’t feel sorry for them, doc, they are so lucky now. They’re in a way better place. They are so happy now. I feel like their father. I brought them into a whole new world of—

DR. MARTIN
So you killed them to put them out of their misery?

LUKE
Well, I think it’s more like I gave them a ticket to paradise.

DR. MARTIN
Luke, do you understand the goal of the experiment?

LUKE
Yeah. I think so. You want to reform convicts like me so we only kill sad and sick, messed up people who would be happier in heaven, right? I’m kind of like a garbage man, cleaning up the streets, right, Sam?

SAM
Yeah, right, Luke.

DR. MARTIN drops his head into his hands again.

JOCELYN
Excuse me, Matt, should I turn on the video camera for this?





DR. MARTIN
(Sarcastically)
Oh, yes, Jocelyn, by all means let’s fuckin’ document the biggest fuckin’ failure in my short career and in the long history of fuckin’ behavior modification therapy!


LUKE
Hey, c’mon, Doc, watch the language.

JOCELYN
(Angry and hurt)
I just wanted to know for sure. You can’t treat me like this…You’re such a bastard!

As JOCELYN storms towards the door, she catches the tripod with her foot. SAM and DR. MARTIN both move to catch the video camera before it hits the ground. JOCELYN spins around to see what she’s done and ends up close to LUKE who leaps up.

LUKE
(Grabbing her face)
Don’t take it to heart, Josh, he’s not himself today—

SAM
(Upon seeing JOCELYN in peril.)
Oh fuck…

DR. MARTIN
(To SAM.)
Do not move.

LUKE
(Looking deeply into her eyes.)
You have such a pretty face. I hate to see it sad.

DR. MARTIN
Luke, let Jocelyn go, please.

LUKE
Are you sad Jocelyn?

JOCELYN
No, Luke. I’m just upset. I will get over it if you let me go.

LUKE
Are you sure? I can send you to heaven. It’s so great there.

JOCELYN
I’m not ready to go, Luke. I am happy here.

LUKE
Then why are you crying?

JOCELYN
Because you’re scaring me.

LUKE
Don’t be afraid. There’s no fear on the other side.

JOCELYN
But I told you I am happy here.

DR, MARTIN
Jocelyn, smile.
(She forces a smile on her face.)

LUKE
You have pretty teeth.

JOCELYN
Thank you. Can you let me go, please? It’s hurting now.

LUKE
Oh, sure. Sorry.

LUKE releases JOCELYN. She rushes into DR. MARTIN’s arms and SAM rushes to LUKE pushing him down into his chair.

SAM
Sit down, shit-for-brains.

LUKE
So when do I get the near death treatment again? I need to get back out there. There’s a lot more people out there suffering, Doc. They really need my help.

SAM
Nice work, Dr. Frankenstein.

Lights slowly fade out.


CURTAIN.