constant ache - of a time which once was and always will be by Melissa Lushbaugh
chapters
chapter 1:
of a time which once was and always will be
of a time which once was and always will be
chapter 1
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updated Apr 15, 2009
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1382 characters
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12 people liked this writing
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9 reviews of this writing
-This idea, an untouchable idea, that being so in love can actually "kill you"... at least in the sense that part of you is gone forever!
Now, hear me when I say this. These words. They will leave my lips only once and that will take all my strength. And… I will never actually be able to say them again. So, hear this. I dealt with this pain, because I thought the pain of leaving would be harder. But I was wrong. And I know when I leave I will be leaving for good and that is what I need but also what is killing me. Knowing that this is the last night, the last time… it has to be the very last. I know I will wake up at night, having nightmares, and sweating. And I know there will be moments when I hear a song, smell a scent, see a movie, hear a voice, a laugh- and it will bring me to my knees. And I can face the fact that I will never truly know if I made the right choice. And I can face the fact that I am walking away, and it has to be for good, and I can face it. If I keep saying it, I can face it. I can do it. I would rather think about the regret each and every day and only survive on the moments that play like movies in my mind than live in angst. In my dreams it was perfect. In my dreams it was worth it. In truth I was dieing either way. With or without you. But leaving… left the most of me. I had to salvage what was left. Do you still hear me?
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Now, hear me when I say this. These words. They will leave my lips only once and that will take all my strength. And… I will never actually be able to say them again. So, hear this. I dealt with this pain, because I thought the pain of leaving would be harder. But I was wrong. And I know when I leave I will be leaving for good and that is what I need but also what is killing me. Knowing that this is the last night, the last time… it has to be the very last. I know I will wake up at night, having nightmares, and sweating. And I know there will be moments when I hear a song, smell a scent, see a movie, hear a voice, a laugh- and it will bring me to my knees. And I can face the fact that I will never truly know if I made the right choice. And I can face the fact that I am walking away, and it has to be for good, and I can face it. If I keep saying it, I can face it. I can do it. I would rather think about the regret each and every day and only survive on the moments that play like movies in my mind than live in angst. In my dreams it was perfect. In my dreams it was worth it. In truth I was dieing either way. With or without you. But leaving… left the most of me. I had to salvage what was left. Do you still hear me?
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(12 people liked this writing)
reviews of this writing
chapter 1 review
Anthony
said:
"
"now everybody's talkin' about this new decade. like you say the magic numbers and just say goodbye to the stupid mistakes you made. oh my memory…more
"
chapter 1 review
Becky
said:
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"I didn't want it to happen like this; in my wildest dreams I didn't think it would happen like this, but it did. Don't you see that this pain, …more
"
chapter 1 review
Mike
said:
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Very nice.
Death imagery has always gone hand in hand with love and sex.
I think you did well with this little piece.
"
Death imagery has always gone hand in hand with love and sex.
I think you did well with this little piece.
"
chapter 1 review
dancing dimond
said:
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Very testing of ones ability,
and for that, it is magnificent. "
and for that, it is magnificent. "
chapter 1 review
Naddi
said:
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I can relate to this. who knows, if u read it, u might get inspired or can relate as well. life's just like that.
"
chapter 1 review
Adrienne
said:
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I really like it, and how it never said what was going on but just how it owuld be dealt with and what it made the person feel/think.
"
