Apologia for a Soul Mate

I used to think that there was just one person for us all to find in this world, just one person who would know me better than I knew myself, always love me, always be there for me. And then I found him, and life was sweet. Sweet, and powerful, because when there are two of you it doesn’t matter what bad things happen, you are not alone – you are never alone with a Soul Mate. We spent 16 years building a life together, basking in incredible happiness and joy. I honestly didn’t understand why other people were not so happy – why would you want to escape into an affair when home was so rich and complex, so sustaining, so vivid and warm?
Our marriage became so strong it was almost like another person, beloved by both of us. So when the marriage became unwell, we were concerned. We tried everything to make it better, we talked and argued and talked some more: we became strangers to each other for the first time. It took 3 years for our marriage to die. We watched helplessly, we railed against the incomprehensible changes taking place, we learned it was possible to become deeply impatient with your Soul Mate, to dislike them. In so doing, we started to dislike ourselves – and that’s the opposite of a Soul Mate’s ethos. Finally we accepted it was finished and separated and I cried so hard my whole face ached for weeks.
It’s tough living in this world alone – I miss my soul mate often. I still love him and always will, but I have a different path to walk now, and so does he.
Now I think that we have perhaps more than one Soul Mate in the world, and that people come into and out of our lives for reasons we may not know, and certainly not like, but there are reasons nevertheless. I regret nothing, certainly not the amazing years where I was loved so thoroughly, when I learned what it felt like to be cherished. That experience will last me a lifetime, and sets the standard for anyone else I may meet. It’s a tough act to follow.