Doing a Cannonball Into the Deep End of Bliss

Paul Schlotterbeck
Age: 24
Occupation: Consumer Specialist - Call Center
Sex: Single
Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual
Education: College Graduate
Favorite Colors: Blue and Brown
Ethnicity: Caucasian
Political Party: Democrat
Favorite Alcoholic Beverage: Bourbon and Coke and/or Craft Beer
Allergies: None
Breast Size: 32-B
Alias: Pablo Diablo
Birthplace: Findlay, OH
Deathplace: n/a
Mood: Happy

The Good Life

For the past twenty-four years of my life I haven't been exposed to too many fits of depression. I haven't been tempered or tested by any earth-shattering revelations about my family or friends. And I haven't experienced the growing pains of divorcing parents, spiteful girlfriends, or aggressive bullies. I've never been the victim of substance addiction, poverty, or disease. I've never broken a bone, wrecked a car, braced against hurricanes, dodged bullets, or misfiled my taxes. I'm not the nerve-wracked father of six working three jobs to pay the bills, and I've not been a grunt in anyone's army. I'm not bored with security and I'm not so passive as to leave myself open for tragedy.

I'm completely comforted by the mundane. Knowing that I've got two loving, healthy parents, two energetic, beautiful sisters, and a plethora of concerned, attentive friends and contemporaries makes me feel like I'm living the high life. I am young and responsible enough to know what I can achieve and what I can aspire for, and knowing my limits gives me a sense of completeness. I know what needs to be done, and I do it. That way, at the end of a work day, I comfortably go home, shed my work clothes, and sit on my back porch to smoke a cigar, drink some bourbon, and watch the sun set.

The good life, then, is being able to separate myself, even for 20 minutes a day, from the people that love me, hate me, or haven't learned to do either yet. The good life is being able to close the door to my own back-porch spaceship to isolate myself from everyone I've ever known. And when I do re-enter, when I come back down from space, everything is alright. The good life is knowing that I've got a not-so-secret, secret hideout. I've got a chamber where I can responsibly afford to spend 20 minutes a day doing absolutely nothing that is productive. And that is a nice thing to know about yourself. Kurt Vonnegut said, "I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.'" The good life, finally, is being able to take Vonnegut's advice without feeling guilty.