As a child, Savannah had loved the view of the sky at sunset; the deep reds and oranges blending and drifting as far as the eye could see. She had kept a scrapbook, cutting out beautiful pictures of the sunrise and sunset from magazines. So many photographers captured the scene in countries far and wide. She used to want to be a photographer, but Justin had told her that it was only a dream and that she had no chance of being successful.
Savannah turned away from the window; away from the sunset. She made a promise to herself that she would try to travel at least once this year. She missed the feeling of adventure and being far from everything that held memories, or anything that could cause pain. When she was travelling, it was like she had a blank canvas on which to build her dreams. As she walked along cobbled roads, in countries where she was unknown, no one could judge her for what had gone before. She could create a new identity and be who she wanted to be.
Savannah walked over to her bed and sat down. She thought of Justin, and couldn’t help the smile that played on her lips. Tomorrow she would see him. It had been such a long time since they’d seen each other; nearly four years. So much would have changed. She wondered if he still loved her? Then she thought of Jack, and her forehead creased into a frown.

* * *

Savannah and Justin first met at the age of 11, at secondary school. He had helped her with her maths homework and then they spent hours together, just chatting about pop bands and what they wanted to do when they left school. They became best friends. When her mother died from cancer, when Savannah was only 14, Justin had been there to help her through. She was an only child, and her parents had divorced a few years before. Savannah had been living with her mother. She didn’t get on with her father’s new wife, so she didn’t want to stay with them after her mother’s death. After some family discussions, she had been sent to live with her uncle and aunt and her cousins, Amy and Jenna. Savannah didn’t have much in common with her cousins. They were clever. Amy wanted to be a politician, and Jenna wanted to be a vet. They laughed at Savannah when she said she would love to be a photographer or one day write a novel.
Savannah withdrew into herself. She was no longer the bubbly teenager, who liked dressing up in bright pinks and electric blues, dyeing her hair all the colours of the rainbow. Now she was a moody girl who would always dress in black, and her mousy-brown hair was left to hang and grow, as if she’d forgotten all about it and never looked in a mirror.
Savannah would overhear her aunt and uncle talking about her, always referring to the ‘change’ in her behaviour. They said it was because she was mourning her mother’s death, and that she should be given time. They never tried to ask her what was wrong; they never tried to help her. Everything was just conveniently swept under the carpet.
Justin was like a safe harbour that she could cling to, and she felt sure that he would always help. But as with all teenagers, Justin too was beginning to change.
In the beginning he had been quite studious, a bit quiet but always a good friend; a bit of a dreamer just like her. In those days Justin never made fun of Savannah’s dreams to become a writer or a photographer. He would read the short stories she’d written, and say they were good. He wanted to be a musician. He grew his hair and become friendly with one of the older boys who had started a band at school. They played a few gigs in the school hall. Savannah was never happier in those days, than when she was spending time with Justin. He seemed to be the only one who understood her.
Everything changed one day when Justin turned up at Savannah’s house with a new friend. They were 15 years old, and up until then it had always been Justin and Savannah; no one else. Savannah had preferred it that way. She hated meeting new people. They always asked too many questions, especially about her mum and dad.
Justin introduced Jane as his girlfriend. She was pretty. He had met her when he was in town with his cousin. Jane was clever too, like Amy and Jenna. She wanted to be a lawyer when she left school.
Savannah made her excuses about why she couldn’t go out with them, and then she locked herself in her bedroom. She cried. She had never thought of Justin as more than just a friend - her best friend; but now she was jealous. She didn’t like the idea of him seeing this other girl.
In a few months time, Justin was almost unrecognisable. He had changed. He cut his hair and started wearing smart clothes. But it wasn’t just a physical change; his views on life seemed to have changed as well. He now said he wanted to be a lawyer and would be going to the same university as Jane. He began to say that Savannah should think hard about her studies instead of wasting time trying to write her short stories. He told her that the stories were not that great. He stopped playing in his band.
Savannah lost touch with him for two years after that. She started working at a supermarket when she left school, and began to slowly forge relationships with her co-workers. None of them could be called ‘friends’ though. She felt very lonely, and would spend all her spare time reading novels. The stories took her far away to a different world where she would get to know the characters, as if they were her friends, and she was never disappointed by them.
She used her first year’s savings, from her wages, to travel to Paris. She had never been abroad before and always wanted to visit Paris. It was portrayed as such a romantic city in the books she had read. She began to dream that she might fall in love in Paris and never return to London. She had studied French at school and it was one of the subjects that she did well in, along with English literature and drama.
She spent a relaxing two weeks in Paris. She liked walking through the narrow streets, taking ‘arty’ photographs. She dared to dream that one day the pictures might be displayed in an exhibition somewhere, when she became a ‘real’ photographer. She spent hours sitting at tables outside quaint little cafés, enjoying the scenery and listening to the conversations around her, feeling proud when she understood what some of the native speakers were saying. She ate croissants for breakfast, and took a trip to the banks of the River Seine, where she sat watching people pass by; some walking, some on roller skates, some on bicycles. Her hotel had a small balcony and she would sit out until the early hours, counting the stars and trying to see the different formations of the constellations she had heard about.
When she returned from Paris, she knew she had caught the travel bug. She bought a map of the world and began to plan all the places she would visit; Rome, New York, Berlin, Spain; the list went on. Her days at the supermarket were just a necessary evil, she went there to earn the money she would need to travel to far-off places.

On her way back home one evening, not long before her eighteenth birthday, she saw a young man standing at the bus stop. He looked familiar. He was wearing dark glasses, as it was a sunny day, but she was sure she knew him. She walked closer to him, in the hope that he would say hello. She had a feeling it was Justin. She wanted it to be Justin. Although she hadn’t seen him for two years, she still thought about him every day, no matter how hard she tried not to. He was like an obsession.
‘Hello, Savannah!’ he said.
It was Justin. He removed his glasses.
‘Hi,’ she said, hoping he could not tell how much she had missed him.
‘You look great!’ he said, hugging her. ‘How are you?’
She smiled at him. ‘I’m fine thanks,’ she said. She felt she didn’t know him well enough to have a proper conversation. How odd that she should feel so awkward talking to someone who had listened to all her dreams, someone who had spent every day with her for over four years. Now they were nothing but strangers. Time was a funny thing.
It turned out that his girlfriend, Jane, was going to a different university, and he had lost touch with her. He asked Savannah if she would like to meet up for a drink. She agreed.
Less than five years later they were married, living in a two-bed terraced house on the same road as his parents. She was pregnant. She was the happiest she had ever been.
*

Savannah sat on her bed, and reflected back to that time. Tears fell from her eyes, but she didn’t notice. It had all been so perfect, she should have known it would have to go wrong. She had always been told that if something seemed too good to be true, then it probably wasn’t true.

The night of the 13th of May 2005 had been just like any other night. Justin had been working late, as he always seemed to be doing. They had a baby on the way, so Savannah didn’t question him. She was sure he was just doing what he could to make certain they would be secure. She felt a contraction. The baby wasn’t due for another two weeks. She panicked. Savannah phoned Justin on his mobile and he replied, sounding out of breath. She was sure she could hear a woman’s voice in the background. Justin said he would be there as soon as he could.
Savannah waited, timing her contractions. Soon they were every ten minutes, with still no sign of Justin. She decided to phone an ambulance; but as she stood up to go to the phone, she felt the most unbearable pain, and fell over, fainting. When she woke up, she realised she was in labour. There was no one around, and she could hardly move. She could feel the baby was on its way out. She heard the front door open. Justin walked in and saw her lying on the floor. He ran over to her.
‘Where have you been?’ she screamed. ‘You’re going to have to deliver the baby, I can’t wait much longer, it’s coming out! Justin!’
‘I’ll phone an ambulance,’ he said.
‘No, there’s no time for that!’
Justin seemed frightened, and Savannah was reminded of how his face looked when they were at school and lining up for their vaccinations.
‘I don’t know what to do!’ he shouted.
‘Just... catch the baby when it comes out... then we’ll call the ambulance!’ she said between breaths.
The blood was everywhere; all over the floor, all over her clothes, and all over Justin’s expensive suit. But he managed to deliver the baby safely, and an ambulance arrived shortly after.
The night of the birth, Justin had been with Jane; his ex-girlfriend. She had got back in touch with him a month before, and they had begun an affair. Instead of spending late nights at work, he had actually been with her. Justin felt so guilty about this after the baby was born, that he confessed to Savannah and asked for her forgiveness. He promised never to see Jane again.
Savannah was devastated by the news. She slowly withdrew into herself again, just as she had done when her mother died. Justin made an appointment for her at the doctor’s, feeling sure she had post-natal depression. She hardly wanted to do anything for the baby. She was given anti-depressants and told that she would probably have to take them long-term.

One evening, a few months later, when Justin returned home late from work, Savannah confronted him:
‘Where have you been? With Jane?’
‘No, I was working.’
Savannah revealed the large kitchen knife she had in her right hand, which she had been holding behind her back. Justin gasped. ‘What are you doing?’
‘I’m sick of your lies,’ she said. ‘You’ve been cheating again, haven’t you?’ She ran towards him and stabbed him with the knife, right in the middle of his chest.