"Come on, Aaron! Let's go," Emily called from downstairs. I was so deep in thought, I barely heard her.

I absent-mindedly stepped down the stairs from my slightly messy room. I didn't really feel like going anymore, but maybe Diana would be there.

"Coming."

I had spent the last hour thinking about what Ryan had said, how he thought I should try to find someone else for the time being. Maybe I would have fun with someone else. Probably not, but I had to do something besides wallow in self-pity.

I had to face it. There was just no way Diana liked me back - I hated to tell myself that, but it was true - so why would I hurt myself by waiting around for something that would never happen?

"Because maybe it could happen," a tiny part of my brain said.

No. It couldn't happen. There was no way.

I walked out the door with these grim thoughts still swarming around in my head.

**

I panicked when Diana wasn't there.

Everyone else we'd invited was, but not her.

I really didn't want to be at the park at all, but I couldn't exactly get out of it now. After all, it had sort of been my idea.

We were in the middle of a game when a black Toyota pulled up. Out of the front passenger seat came Diana.

She ran up to me, and I tried to focus on the game but failed miserably. Was she here to play and had just been late? Had she canceled her date with James?

"Hi, Aaron." She was slightly out of breath from running across the park at full speed.

"Hey! You're here."

"Yeah," she said, a grimace coming to her face. "I just came to tell you, I actually can't play. James didn't want to come, so I just wanted to drop by and apologize. If there's a next time, I swear I'll come!"

"Okay. Thanks for coming to tell me, anyway." I tried not to look disappointed. Stupid James.

"No problem. See you." She was already sprinting back to the car.

"See you." I knew she couldn't hear me.

"Aaron, you coming back?" Ryan yelled.

"Yeah. She just came to say she can't play." Again, I tried not to show my annoyance at James or my sadness that Diana couldn't be there.

"I'm sorry, bro," he whispered in my ear.

"Yeah, I'm sorry too."

**

I looked over at Ella. She was chatting happily with her friends, her brown eyes filled with excitement as she ran a few fingers through her blonde hair. I had nothing against blondes. I had nothing against Ella.

I'm sure a lot of the other guys found her pretty - beautiful, even. And I guess she was. But ever since I had laid eyes on Diana, I didn't have eyes for anyone else.

Was I really going to do this?

Was I really going to ask Ella to go on a date with me, even when I had absolutely no feelings for her? Even when I knew that if I did go on that date, my mind would be on another girl the entire time?

Yes, I guess I was. What could I lose?

"Your sanity." That little part of my head started thinking again. I didn't listen to it.

**

"What did she say?" Ryan asked.

"She said yes," I answered. I tried to sound enthusiastic, I really did. Ryan didn't buy it though.

"Man, you're weird. You just got accepted by one of the most beautiful girls at your school, and you can't even crack a smile. You sure you're not depressed or something?"

"Look, I'm not depressed," I scoffed. "Sure, she's beautiful, but I don't like her that way. You want to know why I can't smile? Because I just lied to myself, and for no reason. I'm doing something I don't want to do, and for no reason. Remind me why I'm even doing this?"

"First of all: because you need to do something besides daydream about a girl with a boyfriend. Who knows? Maybe Diana will get jealous or something. And lastly: because I told you to."

"But I don't want to make Diana jealous! That just makes everything worse. You know that... And I'll daydream if I want," I added. "And - correct me if I'm mistaken - do you really think I should listen to the one who tried to convince me to stick a fork in an electrical socket when I was five years old?"

"The fork was plastic! And besides, you can't get out of it now, I guess. I'm sorry if you don't like my advice, bro, but I still think you should try."

Great. The famous Ryan McKinley guilt trip.

"Okay, I'll try, but I don't think I'm gonna like it."

So I did try. I tried to look forward to Friday night. I tried to care about what we would do and where we would go. I even tried to care about what to wear.

I tried not to think about Diana.