Waking up the next morning, I could tell that it was still very early. There was a gap in the curtains that covered one of the windows in the room, and I could clearly see darkness outside. The sun hadn’t risen yet. I pulled myself up onto my elbows, and blinking, glanced at Logan’s still sleeping form beside me.
He was breathing quietly, lying on his stomach, with his head turned to the side and resting on the pillow. I sighed, shaking my head. If someone had told me a few months ago that I’d be in love with a vampire hunter, not to mention sharing a bed with him, I never would have believed it. Who knew that in taking the Micah mission, I’d end up feeling how I did now. It’s funny how things turn out.
My mind flashed to my waking in the middle of the night. Well, not exactly funny, I thought. Things hadn’t exactly turned out well. I felt a pang in my heart. Far from well, I thought.
Slowly and carefully, I peeled back the sheet that covered me, and rose from the bed. Then as quietly as I could manage, I tiptoed across the room. Things were so hectic and full on; Logan deserved all the extra sleep he could get.
Especially considering every extra thing I was putting him through. This had to be very hard for him; trying to look indifferent, and I think he had more or less given up the idea of trying to pretend he didn’t care for me. However, the last thing we needed was to draw attention to our relationship. If that is what we had, I thought. I wouldn’t call it a relationship exactly. Logan and I seemed to be stuck. We couldn’t move forward together because of everything that was currently happening with the death of the covenant, and of course with the Micah mission. Not to mention we had to make sure the other hunters remained oblivious. Something I was beginning to suspect that we weren’t succeeding with.
I shook my head as I made my way to the dresser, I couldn’t even begin to contemplate what would happen if Logan’s bosses, his superiors that is, discovered that Logan and I weren’t just hunter and vampire working together. Things would get very messy, very quickly. I shuddered at the thought.

Once I reached the dresser, I began rummaging through the few shopping bags that sat atop it. Inside, the bags held newly purchased clothing. I’d gotten Greg to drive me further into the city, for a few hours, a couple of days before, so that I could buy some clothes. It made me feel so much better knowing that I didn’t have to rely on Miriam or other strangers for clothing.
I must admit, I’d felt a tiny bit of satisfaction in using Frank’s credit card. Especially considering his personality towards me, which I will say hadn’t changed in the slightest this past week. If I had to be honest, I think he’d started treating me worse. Although he had a way about doing it so that it wasn’t outright noticeable.
Pulling out a fresh set of clothing that included a pair of dark coloured jean and a blue t-shirt, I walked into the bathroom.
When I eventually emerged almost twenty minutes later, clean and fully dressed, Logan was awake and sitting up in the bed. Combing my wet hair, I eyed him cautiously as I slowly walked closer to where he sat. “Good morning,” I told him, stopping in front of where he sat and gazing, for a change, down at him.
He met my gaze, with narrowed, almost disagreeing eyes. “Ah-huh,” he nodded slowly. “Good morning,” he mumbled, bring his eyes from mine and glancing, apparently at nothing, over my shoulder. He continued to stare behind me for a moment, before he dragged his eyes back to me. He frowned and I took a breath.
When he spoke again he voice was careful and serious. He was serious. “Roxi, we need to talk,” he said “about what happened during the night. You’re not-”
“I’m fine,” I told him, a knee jerk reaction. I turned around, away from his eyes. They were dangerous. They may make me say something I otherwise wouldn’t say. I didn’t want to have this discussion with him. We both knew I was not alright, but that didn’t mean I wanted to talk it.
“No, you’re not,” he said slowly. I heard movement behind me, and I heard the bed creak, as he got up and walked over to me. I continued to look in the other direction, fiddling with my fingers. I felt the heat off his body as he stood close behind me. His voice was right near my ear, as he bent his head down towards mine. “Please, Rox. You have to talk to me,” he breathed. “It’s the only way I can help you.”

I took a breath. And yes, it was shaky. Very shaky. He was standing close. Very close. And with a broken heart, or not, I responded to that. I responded to him. Slowly I turned around so that I was able to look up into his eyes. “Logan, please,” I begged. “I’m alright,” I sighed and corrected myself. “Well, as alright as I could possibly be at the moment. I don’t need you worrying about me. Not anymore than necessary.”
His face was blank, and I knew he wanted to say something, but I hurried on. “You have enough going on right now. There’s so much going on, and I can’t worry about having to deal with all that other stuff right now.”
“That’s it, Roxi,” he said, cutting me off. “You’re not dealing with this. Not consciously. You’re either trying to pretend that it’s not going on, or you’re working so hard, and completely, on trying to identify the covenant that you’re not coping.” He took a breath. “During the day, you’re fine. You research and work and sometimes you are actually okay. Then night comes, and everything you’re not dealing with ambushes you when you sleep and you end up a mess. You’re not handling it the way you’re supposed to. You’re pushing it way.” He paused, and added quietly. “You’re pushing me away, too.”
I looked at him, my eyes tight and my teeth clenched. “I am coping,” I shrieked. “I’m doing the best I can. Who the hell do you think you are, telling me I’m not dealing with this?” I took a step towards him, but he didn’t move. I knew I wasn’t dealing, but having him confirm it, upset me a lot. And I’d rather be angry right now, then be crying. “What am I supposed to do Logan? Cry and bawl every second? I’m tired of doing that. I’m tired of feeling that way. Feeling hurt, and sad and as though I’m broken. I don’t want to think about what Micah’s taken from me, of how much everything’s changed. So what if I’m trying to focus on something else? If that’s the only thing that keeps me from falling apart, then I’ll do it.” I told him, my voice only just under a shout.
Logan was staring back at me, looking more worried as every word left my mouth. His face was blank, and it was easy to see that he was trying to arrange his thoughts. He narrowed his eyes, and taking a breath, took a step towards me. “Roxi, calm down.”
“I am calm,” I shrieked back. He paused where he stood and we continued to stare at each other, unmoving and unspeaking, for what seemed like forever. Breathing heavily, my eyes held his and I gazed back at him, wishing for once he’d just leave it alone. Why did he have to push things, I thought?

Somewhere in the midst of our disagreement, there was a knock at the door. Both Logan and I glanced at the door, before back to each other. Logan looked as though he’d happily ignore it and continue with our current conversation, but I welcomed the interruption, so with a semi-triumphant smile I walked over an opened up the door.
Oh. It was the hunter Sam. He was dressed in a black suit and he wore an expression on his face that screamed that something was up. He nodded a greeting to me, which I returned, before glancing at Logan over my shoulder. He seemed to notice Logan’s tense expression and he glanced at me again before looking at Logan once more.
I stepped back and allowed him to enter the room. I wasn’t sure if I should shut the door or not, but eventually decided too. I closed it and turned to join Sam and Logan. Sam approached where Logan stood, still in the middle of the room. “I hope this isn’t a bad time,” he said, gruffly.
“Not at all,” Logan answered, flatly, with a quick look in my direction. “What, can I do for you Sam?” Logan asked.
I went to stand next to Sam and waited to here what he had to say.
He took a breath. “Actually, I’m not here to see you Logan,” he turned towards me. “I’m here to see Roxi.”
I raised my eyebrows, unable to hide my surprise. “Me?” I asked, extremely unsure.
“Yes, actually I’m here because we’ve identified another vampire and her family live locally,” he said, slowly. “Frank think it’s would pertinent if you came along, when we inform her family.”
“Oh,” I mumbled, glancing down. I knew I couldn’t exactly decline. This was what I was helping the hunters with and if my going with them would be helping then I had to go. “Alright, when did you want to go?” I asked Sam, bringing my gaze back up and catching Logan and Sam sharing one of their own. Clearly, I had missed something.

“I’ll come too,” Logan told Sam, firmly, holding his gaze and still not looking at me.
Sam shook his head sharply. “No, that’s not a good idea; it will just put people off.”
Logan looked taken back, by Sam’s refusal and comment. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, his voice cold.
Sam took a small breath and looked at me from the corner of his eye. “I think you know,” he paused, talking to Logan softly. “Besides, you have to let her handle some things on her own. She needs to be able to stand on her own two feet.”
Logan’s eyes flew wide and he took a giant step towards Sam. “She’s not coping and if she-”
“You have to let her try on her own. If you’re always there she’ll never learn to do find strength in herself,” Sam interrupted, his voice firm and sure.
Logan looked angry at having Sam say these things and his eyes were cold and narrowed. Just like he’d used to look like when I’d first met him. Like a cold, icy hunter. “Letting her handle things on her own, means letting her crumble. I won’t let that happen. She’s-”
“She’s still standing here,” I shouted, capturing both hunters attention and causing them to tear their gazes away from each other and to me. I crossed my arms across my chest. I was annoyed that they were clearing talking about me. And they didn’t even have the decency of not doing it when I was in the room, I thought. The nerve of them!
Both looked back at me. Logan simply looked as though he had before Sam had interrupted us. Sam looked mortified that he could be having the conversation he was. “First,” I glanced at Logan. “I don’t need you to come and I can certainly get control over myself for a couple of hours.”
His lips were a hard line and he looked as though he would really like to argue against that. He let out a huge breath, and shrugged, giving up. “Fine, do what you want, I’m sure there’s plenty of work for me to do around here,” he said, voice cold.
I bit my lip, and turned towards Sam, who now wore his usual calm, and collected expression. “And you; just let me grab my jacket and we’ll be on our way.”
He nodded, unspeaking.
Not looking at Logan, I walked around him and pulled my new black jacket, which hung on the bed post, on. I looked back at Sam. “Okay, let’s go do this,” I told him.