I stood, panting, and staring at the punching bag I’d just spent the last half hour beating the crap out of. I was so stressed and the anger I felt had been eating me up. It felt good to get some of that out. My fingers tingled in my boxing gloves; I’d been punching so hard.
“Wow, what’d the poor bag ever do to you?”
I turned, my hands at my side, and saw Logan standing up against the entrance of the gym, his arms folded across his chest. He had changed and was now wearing his usual jeans and had on a grey t-shirt. His cross hung out over it and he wore an expression of both amusement and weariness.
“What do you want?” I asked, breathlessly. My heart was beating fast in my chest, both from having been working out and his presence. Seeing him brought mixed emotions in me. Mainly confusion and annoyance at being interrupted. And something else that I was increasingly starting to feel. Something, that it anyone ever asked, I’d deny I felt.
He shrugged. “Nothing really. I didn’t know anyone would be in here.”
“There’s always someone in here” I told him. Well, there used to be. Then the hunters turned up and everybody went into hiding. The Manor was like a ghost house lately. “Were you planning on working out?”
“Perhaps.”
“You're making yourself very comfortable here” I quipped, taking up gloves off.
“Perhaps.”
“Perhaps? Is that all you have to say to me?” I felt angry. I never knew which Logan I’d get and it was clear that today it was the cold Logan. Great.

His eyes narrowed. “What do you want me to say to you Roxanne?”
I took a step towards him and threw my gloves on the floor. “Do not call me Roxanne!”
His eyes blazed. “Make me.”
I looked at him, unsure of what he meant. Then, suddenly he was standing in front of me, picking up my gloves and throwing them at me. “You seem to have a lot of anger. Take it out on me. Show me why you Death Walkers have such a reputation.”
I shook my head. “No.”
“No?”
“No. That’s what you want but it’s not what I do.” I ground my teeth.
“You vamps are all the same” he said, his eyes still blazing.
“We are not the same. If you’re saying I’m anything like Micah you’re insane.” I was furious. How dare he. He’d seen Micah and he’d been around us. “I thought you knew us well enough to see the difference.”
“Difference? You’re trying to tell me there’s grey areas.” His face was cold, as if challenging me to prove him wrong.
I stood staring at him. I wasn’t sure how exactly I felt. Yes, we still had our moments and yes, we were completely different, but I’d really thought Logan and I had been making progress. I guess I was wrong. “Logan, it’s all a grey area” I said quietly.
His face faltered and his eyes softened. But only for a moment. That moment passed, and his face was soon the blank and emotionless expression he wore so much. “So you say” was all he said.
We stood facing each other, unspeaking and staring each other down. He spoke first.

“Listen, I’ve spoken to Frank about when we’re going after Micah. We have a fairly good idea where he is, it’s all about picking the right moment to attack. We need him at his weakest and most vulnerable moment. We’ll be informing the Death Walkers when that is, but we don’t know yet ourselves.” He looked at me through blank eyes, seeing my blank, confused expression. “We’ll need you here and ready when the moment comes, so we want all Death Walkers here all week, everyday. Just in case”
“The whole week?” I said. It was unbelievable. How was I going to pull that off?
“Yes” he smirked. “That’s not going to be a problem is it?” He knew very well that it would be. This, I’m guessing, is why he told me. He knew I’d get upset and he wanted to watch my reaction. Damn him!
“Yes, it will be. What am I supposed to tell my family? I can’t just disappear for a week, they’ll know something’s wrong.”
“Not my problem” he said, although he didn’t say it as harshly as he had been speaking to me. “Tell them the truth.”
“The truth?” I couldn’t believe it. Had he really just said that? “I can’t tell them the truth.”
“Why not?”
“Why not? You’re kidding me right?” Oh my god, he was insane. “You know why I can’t tell them. I have to protect them.”
“What exactly, are you protecting them from? They’re in no less danger now than if they did know. In fact, they’re in more. They have no idea what’s really going on out there. If they were attacked because of what you are, they wouldn’t have any clue what was going on. They're vulnerable.”

It was true, some of the things he was saying. But knowing? It would put them in more danger, because they’d want to play some sort of role in this. And they couldn’t. I’d never let them, it was too dangerous.
“You won’t tell them because you’re ashamed” he said taking a step towards me, his eyes tight.
“You think I’m ashamed of being a vampire?” I said, my jaw clenched.
He said nothing, only narrowed his eyes.
I felt myself boiling over. I’d put up with a lot from Logan. He’d had a blind hatred of me from the moment we’d met. I’d taken his rotten treatment and his attitude. I’d taken it all and done nothing. I’d followed most of his instruction and, ever since we’d called our truce, I’d said nothing out of line. But now? Now, I’d had enough!
“Who the hell do you think you are?” I shouted, stepping right up to him.
He leaned back, but other wise didn’t move. He stood up straighter and stared down at me, looking half surprised by my outburst.
I stopped momentarily and took a breath. I was angry but I still couldn’t afford to do something I’d regret. And knocking him on his arse? Yes, I’d regret that. Well, I’d regret it later anyway.
So instead, I looked up at him, directly into his ice blue eyes. “I am not ashamed of what I am” I said slowly. “I don’t have to always like it, but I am not ashamed.” I kept my voice strong and powerful. “I never had a say. I never had a choice, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t make the most, out of a situation I never wanted, and never asked for. Don’t stand there and think you know me. You know nothing about me. Nothing!”

I looked into his eyes for a moment longer, before turning to walk away.
When I tuned my heart fell through the floor. Callie stood in the doorway watching us. I didn’t know how much of our conversation she’d heard, but it was clear from the expression on her face that she’d heard my last little speech. Callie, the same woman who turned me into a vampire, had just witnessed me explode to Logan, about how I’d never had a choice about being a vampire and how I didn’t like it. Hearing me say those things would be enough to hurt anyone and staring at her now it was easy to tell how destroyed she was.
I stared at her, standing in the doorway of the gym, unsure of what I could say to her. Logan stood near my side, with a look of embarrassment, curiosity and something deeper on his face. But I couldn’t worry about him now; I’d worry about him later.
“Sometimes I wonder if I was selfish” Callie said, stepping into the room. “I don’t blame you if you hate me. I did curse you to this life, this life of pain and secrets. You have very reason to resent me.”
I felt my heart contract as I stumbled across the room, almost tripping over my feet. I forgot Logan was even there. I reached Callie and picked up her hand. “No.” I squeezed her fingers. “No, Callie, my life was over. You gave me a second chance. I could never resent you for that.”
She nodded. “That may be so,” she said sadly “but that doesn’t make it right. I wake up every day wondering if I did the right thing that night.”
I looked at her, unsure if there was anything that I could say, that would reassure her how I felt and that I didn’t resent her. And I didn’t. I was grateful. Any insecurities I had with who, and what I was, had nothing to do with her. They were my own personal misgivings. My issues and mine alone. I had never blamed her in anyway. Never had I had a moment, when I thought less of her for what she’d done to me two years ago.
I glanced at Logan and realised that some people may think differently than me. They may look at Callie and see what she’d cursed me to, by turning me into a vampire. I wondered if knowing the whole story would change that in any way. Who knew, maybe it would help Callie find peace.

“Callie,” I said, looking up at her with pleading eyes “I have never blamed you for giving me this life. You had no choice and I know that. That night,” I paused “you did what you felt was right and I do appreciate that.”
I turned and looked at Logan. “You look at us narrow-mindedly. You think that being a vampire makes us certain things and it doesn’t. Maybe that’s just the way you are, I don’t know, but maybe it’s just because you don’t know the whole story.”
I took a step towards him, my face serious. I don’t know what he was thinking or feeling, but he stood and looked at me with the same intensity he had the night before on the balcony. “Logan,” I said looking into his eyes “do you want you know about how I became a vampire?”