Walking out onto the balcony, the cool, night air hit me like a blast, clearing my mind. I stood looking out into the darkness, my eyes not really seeing anything. My hands rested on the silver rail that surrounded the entire balcony.
Sensing him approach, I turned slightly and smiled a small smile. “Hi.”
“Hey.” Logan stretched his hand out and offered me a glass. “Here drink this, it’ll help.”
“What is it?” I eyed the brown liquid suspiciously.
“Just drink it” he commanded.
I rolled my eyes and taking the glass, took a sip.
“Woah” I coughed. It was strong. “What is that?” I asked.
He shrugged, taking back the glass. “Little bit of everything.” Smirking, he walked to my side and downed what was left in the glass, before turning and leaning back against the rail next to me.
I was sure he had questions. Things he wanted to say. But he said nothing and we just stood there, neither of us speaking. He looked relaxed, more relaxed than he’d ever been, but he still had a guarded look to him.
Finally I couldn’t take it anymore. “Go ahead, say it.”
He looked at me, his eyebrows raised. “Say what?”
“Whatever it is that I’m sure you want to say.” I turned, and looked at him, leaving one hand resting on the rail.
His hair was now dry and standing up close I could now see the bruises that he had on his body, remainders from the warehouse siege. He had one on the side of his jaw and a few on his arms. His silver cross hung out over his t-shirt. It shone in the only light, which came from a lamp on the side of the Manor, that lit the balcony.

He shook his head. “I don’t have anything to say to you Roxi. And I’ve heard all I need to know.”
“Still,” I tilted my head, watching him “you don’t strike me as someone who keeps their opinions to themselves and you’ve certainly made your opinion of me very clear from time to time. So why not now?” Why in the world was I pushing him? Did I want to talk about this anymore? No, I didn’t. So why was I being so persistent?
His head turned towards me slightly and he looked down at. His hands had been turning the empty glass around and around, but they were now still. “Usually I would but you see,” he paused and actually smiled at me “I’m too tired.”
I shook my head and looked down.
“We’ll figure this out” he said quietly. “We will vanquish him.”
I nodded my head. “I hope so. I don’t know how much more I can take. But I have faith we’ll succeed.”
“Faith?” he looked at me questioningly. “Faith is rubbish”
I looked back up at him, taking him in. His clothes, his face....his cross. “How can you say that” I stepped closer to him. So close, that I was able to reach out and touch the silver cross that hung around his neck. “How can you wear this?” I said, twirling it in my fingers. “And not have faith.” I wasn’t looking into his eyes, but I could tell his gaze was on me.
He sighed and reaching up, took the cross out of my fingers. “It was my father’s.”
“Oh” I said, still looking at his chest.
“He was killed,” he murmured “by a vampire.”
“I’m sorry.” I still couldn’t bring myself to meet his gaze.
“It wasn’t your fault” he whispered. “It wasn’t you.” He said it in a way that I wondered who he was trying to convince; me or himself.
I looked up and met his eyes. He was looking down at me and it was easy to see the pain that filled his blue eyes.

Seeing me looking, he smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. I could still see the emotions behind them, emotions he never showed. How much of himself did he keep hidden, I thought?
Letting go of his cross, he leaned back on his elbows against the rail and stared straight ahead. “It was almost 6 years ago” he said slowly, his face distant and his eyes clouded. “I was 16.” He paused, looking down at me again. “My father, he was a great hunter, one of the best, but he never wanted this life for me. He taught me everything he knew, but he still hoped I’d pursue a different path. He always hoped I’d be a doctor or a lawyer.” He snorted and shook his head, but he was smiling, perhaps remembering an old memory.
“Were you in the army? I asked, interrupting.
He looked at me surprised “No, why do you ask that?”
“Never mind, sorry” I shook my head, embarrassed. “It’s just, the way you act sometimes, like a solider.”
He laughed. “My father, he was ex-marine. It’s how I was raised.”
I stared up at him. “So I’m not imagining things?”
He continued to look down at me, his eyes sparkling in amusement. “No, you're not.” As he looked down his expression changed, becoming somber. “My mother died when I was a little boy. I never really knew her so it was always just my father and me. He tried, but he was never very maternal. He was very strict too, like a drill sergeant” he continued and I found myself imagining him as a little boy at the boot camp that was his home. The thought made me want to laugh, but I didn’t.
“After he died,” he paused and took a breath. “I was lost for a long time. I couldn’t act, I didn’t feel. I felt dead myself.” He looked down, studying my face. I was frozen, unsure of what to say to him. “Then I met Frank and a few other hunters, including Greg. They were friends of my father’s and they offered to show me the ropes. Take me out into the world and show what it was like to be a real hunter” he continued. “And I took them up on their offer.”
Logan stepped around me and walked across the balcony, I watched him with my eyes, but stayed standing where I was. “You’re better than them, though” I said, remembering how well trained and in control he seemed to be compared with them.

He turned to face me, smiling again. “Yeah, I guess I am. My father, he trained me well, taught me how to handle myself in difficult situations. When I met Frank, there wasn’t really anything he could teach me. It was all about getting the experience and I did. I’ve seen a lot and done a lot.”
As I walked over to where he stood, his eyes never left me and I felt my heart flutter as I neared him. “You're a good hunter, I can tell, one of the best like your father.”
He nodded, taking in what I’d said. “I’ve always tried to do what he would have wanted me to do. That’s why I’m leading the Micah mission. They needed someone who was good enough to be able to track him down. Someone well trained and who wouldn’t crack under pressure.”
“It’s more than that though, your instincts, they're really good.” I paused; looking into his eyes and seeing him take a shaky breath, looking back at me. “I’ve never been around hunters before, but you,” I broke off, considering my words “I don’t know how to say it. You’re not what I expected. You don’t lead with your emotions, no, that’s not how to say it,” I paused and shook me head. “It’s like you trust something more when you act. Does that make sense?” I asked, still looking at him.
“No, not really” he said, smirking.
“I just thought maybe,” I indicated to his cross “you believed in something like that.”
He shook his head. “I don’t. My father did. That’s the only reason I wear this. I wanted to keep something of his, to remind me of who he was and what he did. I’ve seen too many horrible things to believe that there’s somebody like that. Especially if he just sits back and lets those things happen. I don’t believe in God.”
He walked right over to me, standing directly in front of me. “You do though, don’t you? Why?” he asked harshly. His face looked puzzled, desperate to know and understand. He picked up my hand and held it in his. “Tell me why?”
“I, I...” I was stunned, both by his sudden desperation and his proximity. He was so close, almost pressing up against me. My mind flashed to the warehouse and when he’d, again, saved my life. I looked up into his eyes. “I don’t think I can explain. You wouldn’t understand.” I told him.
“Make me understand!” he growled. His voice was desperate. I was still looking into his eyes, trapped by them. I couldn’t read the emotions behind them and it confused me. I couldn’t understand why he was so desperate to know. And, as I looked at him, why I was so desperate for him to know. He still clutched my hand and his fingers felt large and warm on mine.
“Okay” I said, trying to clear my thoughts “Um, you say that you-” I started.

“Hey, there you guys are.”
I snapped my head up from his eyes and met Claudia’s confused gaze.
Logan dropped my hand automatically and took a step back.
“Is everything okay?” Claudia asked, eyeing Logan’s current state.
He looked frazzled. “Everything’s fine” he said, running his hand through his hair. He did not look fine. I don’t think I’d ever seen him so worked up. Not when we’d been in the warehouse, fighting for our lives, or when Frank had gone berserk afterwards. This confused me more. How was it that someone, so in control of himself, could get so worked up after one conversation with me?
“I’d better find Greg, before he hurts himself.” He started to walk away, glancing at me as he walked passed. Even though his eyes still held the same confusing expression, when our eyes met I felt something run through my body. Like electricity, that’s the best way I can describe it.
Then he was gone and it was just me and Claudia. “What’s with him?” She sounded tipsy, but thankfully not drunk. She walked to stand at my side, sliding her arm through mine.
I felt very tired. Today had been long day and tomorrow I had to go to my sister’s party and pretend everything was fine.
“I have no idea. We were just talking and then, well, then you interrupted” I said looking at her and sighing. I didn’t want to explain what had happened. For two reasons. One being that I really had no idea, just what had happened. Logan had gotten very strange and intense all of a sudden and I was at a loss to explain why. And the second reason. It felt strange to me, and I couldn’t positively pinpoint where it came from, but there was a part of me that wanted to keep it private. Some of the things Logan had told me were very personal and I didn’t think it was right to share or gossip about them with anyone. Even Claudia.
So I was left wondering, that being so personal, why it was that Logan had even shared them with me?