Shedding Tears - perfect Life by Nana Quoikapor

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description:
This is a story of eighteen year old Laurina.It's basically a flash back of her life when her mother left at age five leaving her father to raise her alone. Laurina is in Saint Mary's Psychiatric ward and that's where she is telling her story from. (Please read the story and help me with a better description!)



chapters

chapter 1: perfect Life

chapter 2: Background

chapter 3: Fight

chapter 4: Fight Cont.

chapter 5: No mom

chapter 6: Dinner For Two

chapter 7: Daddy's Little Girl

chapter 8: Questions

chapter 9: News

chapter 11: Leaving Soon

chapter 12: Departure


perfect Life
chapter 1   —   updated May 27, 2009   —   1280 characters   —   70 people liked this writing   —   62 reviews of this writing
I've never felt so miserable and disconsolate in my life. Ever
since my mom decided that she's has had enough with my dad not
being able to get back on his feet, things have been moving
slowly ever since. That was ten years ago. I was five when my
mom left and now it's just me and my brilliant, yet bashful
father. My mom was the best mom any one could ask for. I still
remember her smiling at me and dad when she was making our
favorite breakfast, eggo waffles toast with honey and a slice of
mango on top of it.
My day loved his with eggs, ketchup, and

bacon with an enormous glass of cold Tropicana orange juice. I

sat on the stool next to her as I watched her worked her magic.

She would put the radio on and sing her voice out while my dad

struggled concentrating on reading the news paper in the

adjacent room. Life was better then, things were great. We lived

in a four bed room house with two bathrooms, and a spacious

basement. Dad worked as an engineer at Sonny's garage. Mom

didn't; they both agreed that she was to take care of me and the

house. She was given everything she ever asked for. My father

treated her like a queen and I his little princess. I've never

thought things would ever go wrong.
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Did you like this?   vote   (70 people liked this writing)

reviews of this writing

1420459
chapter 1 review
Haley said:
" Yes it seems good. Keep going, i want to see what happens. "
1232779
chapter 1 review
Demi said:
" awwww, so sad. very nice descriptive words! "
1712422
chapter 1 review
~Maia~The Jesus Freak~Lover of Books~ said:
" WHOA! Total description going on there! Love it, continue writing! Intersting story idea! "
2171001
chapter 1 review
Becca said:
" That is BRILLIANT!! I agree, keep writing because I really wanna know what happens next!! You are an amazingly descriptive writer!
~Alice "
1900867
chapter 1 review
Juliet said:
" Nice attention to the details. "
1959547
chapter 1 review
Musical♥Writer said:
" ONly one chapter! I'm sad! Its so good! "
1880023
chapter 1 review
Sisi the Magical Flute Player! said:
" Not bad! "
1178570
chapter 1 review
Drizzleherb said:
" Really good so far!

I have one suggestion- You should space out your writing a little more. "
Nophoto-u-50x66
chapter 1 review
Kappybird said:
" extremley discriptive. It's good to use descriptive language as so, but when you get to the action or whatever actually happens, be careful not to com...more "
2196383
chapter 1 review
Tia Todd liked it
2125643
chapter 1 review
Uncle Tommie said:
" well i like it a lot. but you could put a bit more elaboration on the kitchen. sorta describe what it could look like. Describing the characters would...more "
2205142
chapter 1 review
Napoda said:
" *amazing, i really liked it "
624463
chapter 1 review
Thinker said:
" Good work so far Nana, wonderful descriptive style. "
2175513
chapter 1 review
Jackie said:
" Goood begginning. Wanna see/read more. "
2262595
chapter 1 review
Arlene said:
" This is a really good start =) I can't wait to read the next chapter.

-Arlene "
2816426
chapter 1 review
Addie said:
" Great! Simply great! "
1900867
chapter 2 review
Juliet said:
" Again, nice details. "
1178570
chapter 2 review
Drizzleherb said:
" Really cool! Very descriptive! "
2125643
chapter 2 review
Uncle Tommie said:
" again. i think you should tell what each person looked like.i like how you described the personalities tho. escpecially the dad. "
1232779
chapter 2 review
Demi said:
" you MUST publish this! "
2175513
chapter 2 review
Jackie said:
" So far the beginning is getting better...

can't wait for it to impress WOW me yet. "
2262595
chapter 2 review
Arlene said:
" OMG! Whats going to happen next?! "
1900867
chapter 3 review
Juliet liked it
1178570
chapter 3 review
Drizzleherb said:
" Ooh, harsh! "
2125643
chapter 3 review
Uncle Tommie said:
" hmmm.... im interested now. and wow. mommies a bit. lol. "
1232779
chapter 3 review
Demi said:
" that woman has problems! she doesn't care about her child, sniff, sniff. "
2175513
chapter 3 review
Jackie liked it
2262595
chapter 3 review
Arlene said:
" Yeah Jen is stupid! >( "
1900867
chapter 4 review
Juliet liked it
945169
chapter 4 review
adi said:
" this is very interesting. "
1715554
chapter 4 review
laurabeth said:
" this is so good. I want t opunch the mom in the head kinda. but it happens and its so realistic. Love it. "
1178570
chapter 4 review
Drizzleherb said:
" This is an intense chapter! "
1232779
chapter 4 review
Demi said:
" :*( "
1546023
chapter 4 review
Mama~3mily~Shea said:
" ahh, sadness! this is really good "
2262595
chapter 4 review
Arlene said:
" awwww :( Poor girl! "
1178570
chapter 5 review
Drizzleherb said:
" Really good, so far! You have to keep writing! "
1900867
chapter 5 review
Juliet said:
" So sad! "
1232779
chapter 5 review
Demi said:
" This is my fave story I have ever read on goodreads, truly. (no offense dawn and juliet!) "
2262595
chapter 5 review
Arlene said:
" :( I feel bad for the father. Ughhhh the mom is a whore bucket -_-' "
1586461
chapter 6 review
Sarah liked it
1232779
chapter 6 review
Demi liked it
1900867
chapter 6 review
Juliet said:
" So sad! "
1546023
chapter 6 review
Mama~3mily~Shea said:
" poor laurina. this is so awesome "
2262595
chapter 6 review
Arlene said:
" evil mother -_-' "
1232779
chapter 7 review
Demi said:
" MUST PUBLISH!!!!! "
2125643
chapter 8 review
Uncle Tommie said:
" well i read the entire thing and i like it. cant wait for more. "
1232779
chapter 8 review
Demi said:
" awwww... "
1900867
chapter 8 review
Juliet said:
" Poor dad. "
2125643
chapter 9 review
Uncle Tommie said:
" you know i read a book like this once. 'cept it wasnt the dad. is was a girls best friend. i never finished that book. i cried when he died so i quit ...more "
1232779
chapter 9 review
Demi said:
" Oh no, oh no, oh no....NOOOOOOO "
1900867
chapter 9 review
Juliet liked it
1546023
chapter 9 review
Mama~3mily~Shea said:
" omg! i almost started crying! this is AMAZING! "
2205142
chapter 9 review
Napoda said:
" its so sad, cried my eyes out like a baby!- i love it... "
2262595
chapter 9 review
Arlene said:
" AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW "
1232779
chapter 10 review
Demi said:
" u should make andre come back to visit. that was an awesome story, u'd better not be done "
1900867
chapter 10 review
Juliet said:
" It's really awesome. "
2262595
chapter 10 review
Arlene liked it
1232779
chapter 11 review
Demi said:
" i hope she gets to see andre again! "
1900867
chapter 11 review
Juliet said:
" Wow. I'm writing a book with a character named Juliet Rose Mender. Pretty close. "
2262595
chapter 11 review
Arlene said:
" -_-' i hate Andre. ugggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh she needs to fall into a HOLE!! >_<! A HOLE! A VERy BIG AND DEEP HOLE "
909992
chapter 12 review
Sella said:
" Wow, this was really sad but good! You certainly know how to leave an impact on the reader.

The only thing is, it was kinda hard to read it, ...more "
1232779
chapter 12 review
Demi said:
" OMG!!! write a sequel, please! "
1586461
chapter 12 review
Sarah said:
" i love it! i think u should keep the line but maybe rewrite it :) "
1712422
chapter 12 review
~Maia~The Jesus Freak~Lover of Books~ said:
" Bravo, Bravo!!!!!!!! *cries* that was amazing
! you are truly a talented writer! "
1900867
chapter 12 review
Juliet said:
" Amazing!!! "
1817903
chapter 12 review
Kim said:
" that was pretty good! i like the ending!!!!! "
2175965
chapter 12 review
Myranda said:
" Oh my goodness! It was great. (Though I totally saw part of the ending coming not the part of the limousine coolness) I loved it. So sad.... but aweso...more "
1546023
chapter 12 review
Mama~3mily~Shea said:
" it's over? write a sequal! you're such an awesome writer! "
2125643
chapter 12 review
Uncle Tommie said:
" i liked it. short story tho. lol. some short stories are better than longer stories. but you could have explained a bit more. maybe its just me liking...more "
2262595
chapter 12 review
Arlene said:
" no no! the mother needs to go away -__-! I DUN LIEK THAT MOTHER!!!!
but anyway! i loved the story! It was so sad -_-'! but i loved it! it was GR...more "
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