Shedding Tears - perfect Life by Nana Quoikapor
genre
tags
description:
This is a story of eighteen year old Laurina.It's basically a flash back of her life when her mother left at age five leaving her father to raise her alone. Laurina is in Saint Mary's Psychiatric ward and that's where she is telling her story from. (Please read the story and help me with a better description!)
chapters
chapter 1:
perfect Life
chapter 2:
Background
chapter 3:
Fight
chapter 4:
Fight Cont.
chapter 5:
No mom
chapter 6:
Dinner For Two
chapter 7:
Daddy's Little Girl
chapter 8:
Questions
chapter 9:
News
chapter 10:
Saint Mary's Psychiatric ward
chapter 11:
Leaving Soon
chapter 12:
Departure
perfect Life
chapter 1
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updated May 27, 2009
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1280 characters
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70 people liked this writing
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62 reviews of this writing
I've never felt so miserable and disconsolate in my life. Ever
since my mom decided that she's has had enough with my dad not
being able to get back on his feet, things have been moving
slowly ever since. That was ten years ago. I was five when my
mom left and now it's just me and my brilliant, yet bashful
father. My mom was the best mom any one could ask for. I still
remember her smiling at me and dad when she was making our
favorite breakfast, eggo waffles toast with honey and a slice of
mango on top of it.
My day loved his with eggs, ketchup, and
bacon with an enormous glass of cold Tropicana orange juice. I
sat on the stool next to her as I watched her worked her magic.
She would put the radio on and sing her voice out while my dad
struggled concentrating on reading the news paper in the
adjacent room. Life was better then, things were great. We lived
in a four bed room house with two bathrooms, and a spacious
basement. Dad worked as an engineer at Sonny's garage. Mom
didn't; they both agreed that she was to take care of me and the
house. She was given everything she ever asked for. My father
treated her like a queen and I his little princess. I've never
thought things would ever go wrong.
back to top
since my mom decided that she's has had enough with my dad not
being able to get back on his feet, things have been moving
slowly ever since. That was ten years ago. I was five when my
mom left and now it's just me and my brilliant, yet bashful
father. My mom was the best mom any one could ask for. I still
remember her smiling at me and dad when she was making our
favorite breakfast, eggo waffles toast with honey and a slice of
mango on top of it.
My day loved his with eggs, ketchup, and
bacon with an enormous glass of cold Tropicana orange juice. I
sat on the stool next to her as I watched her worked her magic.
She would put the radio on and sing her voice out while my dad
struggled concentrating on reading the news paper in the
adjacent room. Life was better then, things were great. We lived
in a four bed room house with two bathrooms, and a spacious
basement. Dad worked as an engineer at Sonny's garage. Mom
didn't; they both agreed that she was to take care of me and the
house. She was given everything she ever asked for. My father
treated her like a queen and I his little princess. I've never
thought things would ever go wrong.
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vote
(70 people liked this writing)
reviews of this writing
chapter 1 review
~Maia~The Jesus Freak~Lover of Books~
said:
"
WHOA! Total description going on there! Love it, continue writing! Intersting story idea!
"
chapter 1 review
Becca
said:
"
That is BRILLIANT!! I agree, keep writing because I really wanna know what happens next!! You are an amazingly descriptive writer!
~Alice "
~Alice "
chapter 1 review
Drizzleherb
said:
"
Really good so far!
I have one suggestion- You should space out your writing a little more. "
I have one suggestion- You should space out your writing a little more. "
chapter 1 review
Kappybird
said:
"
extremley discriptive. It's good to use descriptive language as so, but when you get to the action or whatever actually happens, be careful not to com...more
"
chapter 1 review
Uncle Tommie
said:
"
well i like it a lot. but you could put a bit more elaboration on the kitchen. sorta describe what it could look like. Describing the characters would...more
"
chapter 1 review
Arlene
said:
"
This is a really good start =) I can't wait to read the next chapter.
-Arlene "
-Arlene "
chapter 2 review
Uncle Tommie
said:
"
again. i think you should tell what each person looked like.i like how you described the personalities tho. escpecially the dad.
"
chapter 2 review
Jackie
said:
"
So far the beginning is getting better...
can't wait for it to impress WOW me yet. "
can't wait for it to impress WOW me yet. "
chapter 3 review
Demi
said:
"
that woman has problems! she doesn't care about her child, sniff, sniff.
"
chapter 4 review
laurabeth
said:
"
this is so good. I want t opunch the mom in the head kinda. but it happens and its so realistic. Love it.
"
chapter 5 review
Demi
said:
"
This is my fave story I have ever read on goodreads, truly. (no offense dawn and juliet!)
"
chapter 5 review
Arlene
said:
"
:( I feel bad for the father. Ughhhh the mom is a whore bucket -_-'
"
chapter 8 review
Uncle Tommie
said:
"
well i read the entire thing and i like it. cant wait for more.
"
chapter 9 review
Uncle Tommie
said:
"
you know i read a book like this once. 'cept it wasnt the dad. is was a girls best friend. i never finished that book. i cried when he died so i quit ...more
"
chapter 9 review
Arlene
said:
"
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
"
chapter 10 review
Demi
said:
"
u should make andre come back to visit. that was an awesome story, u'd better not be done
"
chapter 11 review
Juliet
said:
"
Wow. I'm writing a book with a character named Juliet Rose Mender. Pretty close.
"
chapter 11 review
Arlene
said:
"
-_-' i hate Andre. ugggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh she needs to fall into a HOLE!! >_<! A HOLE! A VERy BIG AND DEEP HOLE
"
chapter 12 review
Sella
said:
"
Wow, this was really sad but good! You certainly know how to leave an impact on the reader.
The only thing is, it was kinda hard to read it, ...more "
The only thing is, it was kinda hard to read it, ...more "
chapter 12 review
~Maia~The Jesus Freak~Lover of Books~
said:
"
Bravo, Bravo!!!!!!!! *cries* that was amazing
! you are truly a talented writer! "
! you are truly a talented writer! "
chapter 12 review
Myranda
said:
"
Oh my goodness! It was great. (Though I totally saw part of the ending coming not the part of the limousine coolness) I loved it. So sad.... but aweso...more
"
chapter 12 review
Mama~3mily~Shea
said:
"
it's over? write a sequal! you're such an awesome writer!
"
chapter 12 review
Uncle Tommie
said:
"
i liked it. short story tho. lol. some short stories are better than longer stories. but you could have explained a bit more. maybe its just me liking...more
"










