Status Update Writing Contest entry - . by Amanda
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description:
Winner of the April 2009 Goodreads Status Update Writing Contest
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chapter 1:
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chapter 1
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updated Apr 27, 2009
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2522 characters
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51 people liked this writing
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18 reviews of this writing
Drizzly, dewy, drab morning. Afternoon. (12:08 PM)
She sits, silent, staring out the window at the drab and the drizzle. She longs... (12:09 PM)
For what? She almost knows, but only almost. The answer is elusive, like most answers are. It teases her. (12:09 PM)
Plants sweet, seductive kisses on her neck. (12:10 PM)
Her ear. (12:10 PM)
Then vanishes. (12:11 PM)
This day is not unlike any other day. It is breakfast, coffee, laundry, the internet, the cable bill, cat food. (12:11 PM)
But it is also nagging. (12:12 PM)
Not unlike any other day. (12:13 PM)
She is too old to be a girl and too weak to be a woman. Stranded between then and when, she can't step forward. So she does more laundry (12:13 PM)
She watches the load churn and wonders what it would be like to dive in. (12:14 PM)
She would make a wish, fold her hands above her head in a diver's stance, and leap, eyes closed. (12:15 PM)
Inside, she would rumble, undulate, ride the agitator and slide fearless down its spiral. (12:16 PM)
"I am one millimeter tall," she would shout, bubbles floating from between her lips. (12:18 PM)
She would watch the bubbles swim between her pink lace bra and tight blue jeans and up into forever. (12:19 PM)
She would paddle, paddle, paddle to the side of the drum, peer into a tiny hole, and wonder where the water goes. (12:19 PM)
Inside, down, and through the pipes it would go. (12:20 PM)
She would follow. (12:21 PM)
She follows. (12:21 PM)
Inside, down, and through, she follows. (12:22 PM)
A labyrinth of inside, down, and through. Peace is here! Truth is here! Her future is here! Keep swimming! (12:23 PM)
Cold, wet, and promising. It must be here! (12:23 PM)
Miles of swimming, through twisting turning pipes. Where is the end? The answer? It must be here. (12:24 PM)
She swims faster, farther, faster until her lungs burn, her eyes red from the soap and fabric softener, her muscles gelatinous and tired. (12:25 PM)
Keep swimming! (12:25 PM)
"WHERE IS IT?" she cries. She is loud. The pipes quake, crack. (12:26 PM)
She spins... (12:26 PM)
Nothing is here. (12:27 PM)
The washing machine drains, stops. The water is gone. (12:27 PM)
Dizzy, she throws up, lies down fetal, can't cry. Everything is silent. (12:28 PM)
The ground is cold. (12:29 PM)
The answer is elusive. (12:29 PM)
It teases her. (12:30 PM)
Plants sweet, seductive kisses on her neck. (12:30 PM)
Her ear. (12:31 PM)
Then vanishes. (12:31 PM)
back to top
She sits, silent, staring out the window at the drab and the drizzle. She longs... (12:09 PM)
For what? She almost knows, but only almost. The answer is elusive, like most answers are. It teases her. (12:09 PM)
Plants sweet, seductive kisses on her neck. (12:10 PM)
Her ear. (12:10 PM)
Then vanishes. (12:11 PM)
This day is not unlike any other day. It is breakfast, coffee, laundry, the internet, the cable bill, cat food. (12:11 PM)
But it is also nagging. (12:12 PM)
Not unlike any other day. (12:13 PM)
She is too old to be a girl and too weak to be a woman. Stranded between then and when, she can't step forward. So she does more laundry (12:13 PM)
She watches the load churn and wonders what it would be like to dive in. (12:14 PM)
She would make a wish, fold her hands above her head in a diver's stance, and leap, eyes closed. (12:15 PM)
Inside, she would rumble, undulate, ride the agitator and slide fearless down its spiral. (12:16 PM)
"I am one millimeter tall," she would shout, bubbles floating from between her lips. (12:18 PM)
She would watch the bubbles swim between her pink lace bra and tight blue jeans and up into forever. (12:19 PM)
She would paddle, paddle, paddle to the side of the drum, peer into a tiny hole, and wonder where the water goes. (12:19 PM)
Inside, down, and through the pipes it would go. (12:20 PM)
She would follow. (12:21 PM)
She follows. (12:21 PM)
Inside, down, and through, she follows. (12:22 PM)
A labyrinth of inside, down, and through. Peace is here! Truth is here! Her future is here! Keep swimming! (12:23 PM)
Cold, wet, and promising. It must be here! (12:23 PM)
Miles of swimming, through twisting turning pipes. Where is the end? The answer? It must be here. (12:24 PM)
She swims faster, farther, faster until her lungs burn, her eyes red from the soap and fabric softener, her muscles gelatinous and tired. (12:25 PM)
Keep swimming! (12:25 PM)
"WHERE IS IT?" she cries. She is loud. The pipes quake, crack. (12:26 PM)
She spins... (12:26 PM)
Nothing is here. (12:27 PM)
The washing machine drains, stops. The water is gone. (12:27 PM)
Dizzy, she throws up, lies down fetal, can't cry. Everything is silent. (12:28 PM)
The ground is cold. (12:29 PM)
The answer is elusive. (12:29 PM)
It teases her. (12:30 PM)
Plants sweet, seductive kisses on her neck. (12:30 PM)
Her ear. (12:31 PM)
Then vanishes. (12:31 PM)
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reviews of this writing
chapter 1 review
Patricia
said:
"
I thought it beautiful - a touch of fantasy I wanted her to be rescued, and to be larger than one millimetre tall -because she might fall out of the w…more
"
chapter 1 review
Chris
said:
"
It's cool, dark and dreamy. It took me away, as I needed to be. She is in pain, like I am, so we needed to be spun and washed away. Left with no answe…more
"
chapter 1 review
Nina
said:
"
Loved it. Decribes how I sometimes feel sense going through cancer treatments.
"
chapter 1 review
Donna Rae
said:
"
Nice piece
I like how adding the time helped create the sense of urgency and loss evoked
"
I like how adding the time helped create the sense of urgency and loss evoked
"
